


Down the Hall

by 2edge4u, Madi



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-31 03:35:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 150,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3962917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2edge4u/pseuds/2edge4u, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madi/pseuds/Madi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura Hollis goes in for an interview for the job of her dreams. She is sure that life is over until she runs into Carmilla, starting a sequence of events that will change both their lives forever. Love may be waiting down the hall, but you have to be brave enough to open the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

"All I want is to go to sleep" I said out loud to myself while lying awake and staring at the ceiling.

All hope may be lost considering that I have to wake up in exactly 73 minutes for the biggest interview of my life, but I am determined to get at least a power nap. Since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed of becoming a teacher. I worked my butt off in school to get that diploma reading "Laura Hollis, Bachelors of English and Comparative Literature" and now I just need an opportunity to do something with it. Every interview I've had so far had been a complete bust. Either the principal was a total idiot who only cared about how my class was going to get the football team to the state championship, or I just "wasn't the right fit."

I have spent the entire summer, feeling like my life has come to a complete stop. College was the best experience I could ever ask for. I went to a small college that you have probably never even heard of. Oh god, I can still hear the Dean now "We at Styria University share a rich history of blah, blah, blah." I always hated that woman.

Anyway, while there were some weird things that happened on that tiny campus, the hidden gem was really the Education Department. The real reason I even went to Styria was because of the Department Head, my mentor, Dr. Joseph Sheridan. While the Alchemy Department was busy trying to bring down the school one failed experiment at a time, we were doing some amazing work over in the education world. We students were so lucky to be studying under "the doctor" as we so affectionately called him because we were able to actually teach real students instead of just learning from outdated, over-priced text books. You see, the doctor's wife was the superintendent for the surrounding school district so we were able to gain field experience in the surrounding schools which is so much better that anything we could have learned on our own campus.

After going from teaching in a classroom almost every day to working in a bakery over the summer and just waiting for the right job to open up, I was becoming a bit depressed to say the least. It also didn't help that I was surrounded by delicious cookies all day. I was already eating tons of cookies since they are my favorite food in the world, but now I'm just aggressively sad-eating the cookies. My life was once filled with such optimism and a genuine happiness and now all I have room for is dread that the dream that I've been working my entire life for may never come to fruition.

"I might as well get up and start getting ready" I said to myself knowing that my first alarm will be going off in just a few minutes.

Maybe I can spend the extra time eating a healthy breakfast so my nerves don't eat me alive.

This is the last of many interviews so it's my last chance to get a job for this school year so I have to make this one count.

I finally arrive at Silas High School and I have to sit in the parking lot for twenty minutes so I don't come across as annoyingly-eager to get this job. I have a problem with being chronically early; probably because my dad always said things like "if you're on time, then you're late" and "Laura, your reputation is everything!"

He wouldn't even let me have an iPhone in college because he thought I might send high resolution selfies to potential stalkers. He could be irritating at times, but he means well. Losing my mom was really hard on him so he latched onto me and still hasn't figured out how to let go.

As I walk into the front office and directly up to the secretary's desk, I am suddenly distracted. I see this woman sitting in the back of the office, absent-mindedly flipping through a magazine while waiting for the copy machine to finish. She might be the most gorgeous woman I have ev-

"Excuse me, miss? Can I help you?" Oh crap, I have been standing here not saying a word. Get it together, Hollis.

"Um, yes. I'm here for an 8:30 interview with the principal."

The secretary looked at me with pity in her eyes and said "have a seat miss, the principal will be with you shortly."

After what seemed like an eternity of sitting silently and checking my phone for the time, this tall, blonde woman who kind of looked like she could set me on fire with her eyes approaches me.

"Laura Hollis?" she said almost like I looked familiar or something.

"Yes, that's me" I said, like an idiot I might add.

"Right this way" she stated while turning around to lead me to her office and holy crap, is this woman intimidating; she's six feet of power-suited, middle-aged glamazon.

As I sit down in the chair in front of her desk, I notice something a bit odd, there are nothing personal in this room. There aren't any family pictures, no gifts from students, nothing. I find that very strange, but I quickly forget about it and get my head in the game as my future depends on the conversation I'm about to have with this frightening woman.

"Well Ms. Hollis, you come highly recommended by the faculty over at Styria. All of your references had only great things to say about you. So, what's actually wrong with you?" the woman says with a straight face.

I don't know whether it's ok to laugh at that or not. I couldn't tell if it was sincere or sarcastic. God, this woman is just too much.

"I am so appreciative of my professors and time spent at Styria, but it's time that I move on. I'm sure that there are things about myself that I can improve, but I'm so glad to hear that people think so highly of me."

"It's great that everyone likes you, but that doesn't make you an effective teacher. Why would I want to hire you? What could you bring to the Silas family that will help our school improvement plan? How can you help in improving the school grade?"

"Well ma'am, I have dreamed of being a teacher since I was a little kid. I honestly can't see myself doing anything else. I can assure you that I will be dedicated and compassionate. I am a team-player that will do whatever is necessary to make Silas High School the best in the district."

She sat silently, pensively looking over my resumé. I swear I aged ten years just waiting for the woman to respond to me and yet she just sat there… reading.

"Well Ms. Hollis, it was nice to meet you. You should hear from my secretary by the end of the week. I wish you the best of luck."

Fuck. That speech means that I didn't get the job. I stand up slowly to avoid puking on her desk which would just further seal my fate.

"Thank you and have a great day" I said sheepishly as I'm making my way out the door, trying not to trip on the way out.

I have got to get out of here. I could feel my cheeks turning red, my throat started tightening up indicating that I was about to cry. I had to make it out the door before anyone notices me when I suddenly run into someone, knocking all the papers out of their hands.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I say as I frantically attempt to pick up everything that had fallen.

Then I hear this low, sultry voice say "Don't worry cupcake, my classes don't really need a syllabus. It's not like they're going to read it anyway."

The sound of her voice is both soothing and frustrating in the best way. It's almost like I felt her words more than I heard them. I stopped immediately and looked up. It was her. It was the gorgeous woman from the copy machine! She might be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and our first interaction is me running into her like an idiot. Smooth, Hollis.

"I really hope I didn't mess anything up too badly" I say as the first tear breaks free and rolls down my cheek.

"Hey cutie, it's really not a big deal. If you really feel that badly, you can come to my classroom and help me put this all back together" she said while grabbing my wrist to stop me from panicking.

"I don't want to intrude on your work day" I said while looking down at the floor.

"Well, I'm pretty sure that already happened when you ran me over" she laughed, "but I will let you make it up to me."

I slowly looked up and into her eyes. It's like she was waiting for me because as soon as our eyes connected, she winked at me. Wow, I never thought that something as stupid as a wink could affect me physically.

After being caught in her stare for what seemed like hours, I finally spoke up. "Well, I don't have anything better to do so I could help if you really mean it."

"After you, cutie" she said with a smug smile.

As we're walking toward her classroom, I'm trying to figure out a way that I can get my emotions in check. If I'm going to be spending the afternoon with a girl this attractive, I certainly don't want to look like a hot mess.

When we get to the door, I ask her where the bathroom is and she points me in the right direction. As soon as I close the door behind me, I am relieved to find that this is a staff bathroom and I won't have to deal with any kids in here. I look into the mirror at the raccoon-eyed mess that is myself. I guess I was crying harder than I thought.

"Why is this happening right now?"

I frantically soak some paper towels in the sink and try to start repairing my face. There is not enough cold water in the world to fix how I'm feeling at the moment, but I have to at least look presentable if I'm going to be in close proximity with… wait, I don't even know her name yet. I put the finishing touches on my flushed cheeks and puffy eyes and make my way back to her.

As I walk into her classroom, she is straightening up her desk and doesn't make any effort to look up at me. I just stand at the door, not sure of what to say.

She finally speaks up and says "are you gonna stand there all day or come help me put my life back together?"

The look she just shot at me felt like a challenge, but I wasn't sure why.

"Yea, sorry. It's been a rough day. How can I help?" I say feeling insecure.

"Well, I'm trying to sort these papers into piles. If you can collate and staple them, we'll be done in no time and then we can do something that's actually fun."

I smile at her, which makes her do a double take. That was weird.

"So, what's your name, cutie?" she said while methodically stacking papers.

"Oh, um, I'm Laura. Laura Hollis, it's a pleasure to meet you. What's yours?"

"Oh believe me, the pleasure is all mine for now. I'm Carmilla." said the woman who just took my breath away.

Wait, was she just flirting? That can't be right. I mean, look at her! I have never seen such a captivating woman and she's flirting with me?

 


	2. In the Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla end up spending the afternoon together and it leads to some intense moments.

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2 (In the Moment)**

Alright Hollis, back to reality. I ask her "So, how long have you been a teacher?"

She rolls her eyes and says "It feels like I've been teaching for centuries, but I've only been at this school for 5 years."

"Do you like it here?" I ask hoping to get some information about the school from somewhere other than the website.

"I guess it's not the worst school I've taught at, but the principal and I have a history and it makes things kind of weird for me. I mean, I'm glad she got me this job, but I'm sick of her unreasonable demands."

Wow, maybe I would be better off staying at the bakery. If the principal is really that much of a tyrant then I'm not sure if this school is right for me.

Carmilla interrupts my thoughts "But don't worry, cupcake. She really only treats me that way. As long as you follow the rules, you won't have any problems here."

"Yea, if I even get the job" I say with disappointment in my voice.

Carmilla finally looks up at me. There's an expression on her face that I can't quite figure out.

"What do you mean?"

Wow, Carmilla looks like she is genuinely concerned about me. She doesn't even know me and I mean… look at her!

I finally speak up "I just feel like the principal hated me. She was so intense during the entire interview. At the end, she gave me that typical speech of 'you'll hear from us.' I could have cried right then, but I at least made it out the door and then I ran into you."

"Literally" Carmilla says with that smug grin of hers.

"Yea, sorry about that. I was just a wreck and I didn't know what to do and-"

"Hey" Carmilla interrupts while putting her hand on my knee "she treats everyone like that so please don't take it personally. I would be shocked if she didn't like you because I mean, who wouldn't?"

Ok, she is definitely flirting with me.

After a few hours of classroom organization and casual conversation, it was time that I should be heading home. It's hard to believe that I've been here all day, but time spent with Carmilla seems to almost stop.

As I start to collect my things Carmilla says "Going somewhere without me?"

"Yea, um, I should probably be going home. I don't want to be in a public place when I find out that I didn't get this job and fall apart."

Carmlla grabs my chair and rolls me so close to her that our legs are touching.

"You know, I could put in a good word for you if you want. You seem to really like it here for some reason and I wouldn't mind having you around more often."

My cheeks flush a the thought of Carmilla wanting me for anything. What am I doing? I barely know her.

I say "well, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it so much. You would be saving me."

Carmilla is quick to say "Woah, don't expect any of that heroic teacher crap from me, cupcake. You're just more interesting than most of the lackwits that teach here."

"Oh, well either way, I would still appreciate the help. I really need this job. A career at the bakery just isn't what I want for my life."

"Well cupcake, I'll do what I can. Do you really have to leave right now? I get off in an hour" Carmilla says with her eyes darting down to my mouth and back up.

"Yea, I really should go."

Carmilla slowly grabs my arm, begins unbuttoning the cuff and gently rolling back the sleeve.

"That's too bad. I was hoping we could continue what we started." She says, keeping her eyes locked on mine while grabbing her eyeliner out of her desk.

I feel so drawn to her for some reason. I barely know this woman, but I feel the need to crawl into her arms. She gives off a sense of danger, all while her embrace seems like the only safe place that makes sense anymore. She is unsettling and comforting; soothing and frightening all at the same time. I should make some space between us. I cannot jump into anything with her while I'm so emotional. I need to get my life together before I can let anyone else into it.

While I was busy talking myself out of what could be a good thing, she had written something on my arm, rolled my sleeve back down and buttoned my cuff.

How can anyone be that smooth?

"Read that when you get home, sweetheart."

"Thank you for making my day hurt a little less" I said with a faintest smile on my face.

"Well, thanks for your help I guess" she said, finally breaking eye contact.

"You're welcome, I really should go. I hope to see you again sometime."

"Oh, I think we will see each other very soon. Laura."

"Carmilla" I say as I walk out the door and to my car. I cannot get there fast enough. I'm not sure what all really happened today, but I know I can't wait to get home.

I roll the windows down and open the sun roof as I pull out of the parking lot and head towards home. I still feel numb all over from the emotional roller coaster I was trapped on today, so maybe the wind on my face and in my hair can help me get my feeling back. I turn up the stereo to hear Sara Bareilles' "Uncharted"; a live version that's stripped down to show it's simple beauty. I'm driving down US 17 in without making a sound, just absorbing my surroundings with every sense I have when the lyrics at the end of the bridge hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Compare where you are to where you wanna be and you'll get nowhere."

Damn. I realized in that moment that I have spent my whole life working toward the future. I have never really been able to just live in the moment and actually enjoy myself. I'm always so worried about how I might be perceived. Teachers are to be considered professionals so I have dedicated my entire life to that pursuit and I forgot how to be real. I forgot how to let go, live in the moment and just be Laura. I have a feeling that Carmilla is a 'right now' kinda girl, and that is yet another attractive quality about the mysterious woman that I spent my afternoon with.

Of crap, what the hell did she write on my arm? Then I remember her strict instructions to wait until I got home to read it and subconsciously hit the gas.

I finally pull into the parking space in front of my apartment after checking the mail. Great, more bills and junk mail. Adulthood is really not what it's cracked up to be.

I walk in the door, throw my bag on the ground, hang my keys up, set my phone on the kitchen counter and head for the bathroom. I begin to draw a bath and then head down the hall to my bedroom. I put on some music and get out a tank top and some shorts to sleep in and lay them on my bed. I head back to the bathroom, undressing on the way. I'm usually more organized than this, but today has been anything but normal. The bath water is a bit too hot, but I climb into the scalding tub anyway. Like I said before, this numb feeling of defeat is overwhelming and even burning water is welcomed at this point.

I slowly slide down into the water, acting as if it will wash away the pain I feel. This job was my last chance for happiness and I might have blown it. Although, I'm not sure what I did wrong. That principal just seems to be angry by nature and I couldn't tell if she hated me or liked me.

I look over at the note Carmilla left on the inside of my forearm.

"Hey cutie, text me the next time you think of me. 670-8807 – Carmilla"

Wow, that's a little much don't you think? She acts like after meeting her one time, that I would spend my time thinking of her. I close my eyes and submerge my head the rest of the way under water.

After some normal grooming and a little bit of crying, I drag myself out of the tub. I wrap up my hair in a towel and my body in another and make my way to my room to change. I put on the clothes I laid out earlier, dried my hair and made my way to the kitchen.

I see my phone on the counter and it makes me think of Carmilla. How did she? Should I really text her? She could be trouble, but I could probably use a bit of that right now. I'm so tired of living out this grand plan that I made for myself twenty years ago. I want more.

I pick up the phone and open up messages.

"Just thinking of you. Thanks again for your help today. – Laura"

Sent. I set the phone back down and make a snack of cut up apples, peanut butter and grape soda. I know, it's not the healthiest option, but it's my go-to starving student snack. I grab everything and head outside to the front porch where I have the swing that my father made for my mother before I was born. My dad told me that my mom would sit on this swing and sing to me while she was pregnant with me. This is my safe place when I've had a rough day.

My phone lights up and scrolls New Message across the lock screen. I wipe the peanut butter off my hands and swipe it open. It's a message from Carmilla.

"How did I know you would be texting me tonight? Not that I'm mad about it because I'm glad to hear from you, cupcake. Although we met under messy circumstances, I'm glad you ran into me. Feeling any better?"

God, she can be so full of herself. I don't really hate that about her though. Her confidence is completely intoxicating. I type out my most calculated response.

"I'm glad I ran into you too. Even though it was completely unintentional, I'm glad I did it. It caused you to invite me back to your classroom and we were able to get to know each other a little. Good ending to a bad day."

With my heart trying to jump out of my chest, I hit send. How can this woman make me feel this way? She makes me feel like everything is brand new and I am experiencing all these emotions for the first time. Every time she touches my skin, every nerve ending in my body stands at attention and I come alive with desire. It scares me a little to think that I could be feeling this way after only talking to her for a few hours. But, I'm tired of always being so careful. I'm tired of always doing what I should and not doing what I want. I'm tired of being alone.

I go inside to brush my teeth and climb into bed. I turn on the TV to find something boring on Netflix. I just like having background noise on while I fall asleep, but I despise commercials so this is usual for me. As I roll over to plug in my phone, I notice I have another message. It's from Carmilla.

"Well, you're probably getting ready for bed, so I don't want to keep you up unless you want me to. I had a great time with you today and I wish it hadn't ended when it did. Text me tomorrow if you would like to meet up again. Try not to dream of me, cupcake.

Try not to dream of you? Calm down there. I roll over and close my eyes, feeling the weight of the day melt into my pillow.

I really hope that I'm wrong about the interview. Maybe the principal is just that way all the time and I'll get a phone call in the morning telling me that I have the job. One can dream. Just as I feel the grip of slumber tightening, I hear a knock at the door.

"Who the hell could that be at this hour?"

I roll out of bed, moaning in disappointment with every step I take toward the door. I look out the peep hole to find Carmilla on the other side. I almost scream in a panic. I have my sleep clothes on, I look like I've been crying all day and I have no make-up on! Our first encounter wasn't that great, but I can't have the second time she sees me be like this.

"Um, hold on a sec!" I say as I frantically try to make myself more presentable.

I slap on a bit of make-up and rinse with some mouth wash. I finally open the door to find Carmilla looking hotter than she did before. Instead of her more professional blazer and jeans, she traded for skin-tight leather pants, a tattered Janis Joplin t-shirt with a loose flannel over top with boots that could slay anything I've ever had in my closet. She stands there holding what looks like ludicrously expensive champagne looking like she could eat me alive.

"Would you like to come in?" I say softly.

"That's why I'm here, cupcake. Oh, and I have some good news for you too" Carmilla says with a smile.

"Please, come in and sit down. Would you like me to get some glasses for that?" I ask while I close the door and lock it.

"Yes, that would be great. We have some celebrating to do" Carmilla says as she begins to unwrap the cork of the champagne.

"What on earth could we have to celebrate right now? It's almost midnight and we met just a few hours ago" I say while standing on my foot stool to reach the top shelf of my cabinet to grab the champagne classes I never get to use.

As I'm walking toward her, Carmilla pops the cork spilling champagne all over my table. "Shit, I'm sorry" she says while running to the kitchen sink. I run behind her so she can pour some in the glasses before it all runs down the sink. As I'm grabbing a towel to clean up the mess, she hands me a glass and says "we are celebrating you getting a new job" she says like it's no big deal.

"Wait, what do you mean new job? How could you know that?"

"Well, after you left me today, I realized that I didn't want to lose you that easily. I went down to the principal's office and had a conversation with her. I simply convinced her that you were the best person for the job. I guess it worked so you should expect a call from her secretary in the morning" Carmilla says with this sideways smile on her face.

In one swift motion, I set my glass down on the counter and jump into her arms. With my arms wrapped around her back and my head on her chest I say "thank you so much! I don't think you realize what you've done for me. I mean, I'm not sure that you did it entirely for me, but-"

She grabs my shoulders and pushes me back so she can look into my eyes. "Don't be an idiot, of course I did it for you" she says while sliding her hands down my arms. I rise up on my toes and kiss her.

I immediately stop and say "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that. It's just that no one ever really does anything nice for me-"

Carmilla interrupts me by putting her hand on the small of my back and the other on the side of my face and pulling me against her like her life depended on it. She kissed me in a way that clearly communicated that she needed me just as much as I wanted her. I grab her face, melting into her embrace while I part my lips as an invitation to her. She takes the hint and begins to explore me inch by inch, beginning with my tongue. This sensation makes me moan into her mouth which causes her to pull me even tighter, sliding her other hand down my body ever so slowly.

She slowly pushes me backward until I can feel the edge of the kitchen counter on my back. She breaks the connection of our lips which is devastating until I realize that she's trailing kisses across my jawline and down my neck. I move my head to the side, exposing my neck so she has more room to work. Once she gets to my collar bone, I can't take it anymore and I grab her and pull her back into me. Our lips meet like an explosion of pain and pleasure. She pushes her knee upward in between my legs and into my center. The contact is earth-shattering and it takes all my concentration to not fall apart. I moan into her again which just makes her smile against my lips.

God, I didn't think that anything could feel this good. She runs her fingers across the skin between my shirt and shorts, wanting her to just go for it, she pulls back and just smiles at me instead.

"All good things in time, cutie. Arms up."

I smile wickedly and raise my arms above my head. She grabs the hem of my tank top and begins to take it off, running her fingertips up the length of my body and up my arms making me shiver with anticipation. Carmilla stands back and looks me up and down. I cannot figure out the expression on her face.

"Everything ok?" I ask.

"Everything is more than ok. I'm just admiring you before things get a bit crazy in here" Carmilla says with a raised eyebrow.

I bite my lip in a desperate effort to prevent myself from gasping aloud. I have never been with anyone like this. She is so damn sexy and I don't know where to begin. She takes her shirt off, throws it to the side and her hands find their way back to me before I realize what's happened. She starts kissing me with her hands tangled up in my hair.

I grip onto the counter to prevent my knees from giving way, and she must have sensed my uneasiness. In one swift motion, Carmilla picks me up and swings me around to set me on the kitchen table. She does this without ever breaking the connection of our kiss. She starts to push me backward while crawling onto the table to eventually straddle me. She slides down so that we're chest to chest and finally pulls back to look into my eyes.

She lightly kisses me on the corner of my mouth, then my jaw and then she melts into my neck all while her hand slowly drifts down my torso. I raise my hips in anticipation, and Carmilla smiles into my neck in response. She lightly traces the skin above my shorts to tease me and it works. I raise my hips even more which makes her pull back again and look at me. With one hand behind my head and the other close to pushing me over the edge, she looks into my eyes and raises her eyebrow in a challenge. I set my hips back on the table, pull my head closer to hers and said "please."

That one word is all that Carmilla needed. All at once, she began kissing me, grinding her hips into me and her hand slipped under my shorts finding my sex without any hesitation. I moan so loudly, it makes Carmilla go even harder and I find myself almost there in no time. My god, she is so good at this. The slow and delicious circles of her fingers and her hips were so intoxicating, I'm surprised I've lasted this long.

Just as about to tumble over the edge, this bright light shines onto my face and I hear alarms beginning to go off. I ignore them as long as I can, pulling Carmilla even closer to me. I never want to be away from her again. Then, just as quickly as it all begins, it all ends with me waking up to open curtains and the brightest version of the sun I have seen in a long time. Damn, that was just a dream? I hit the alarm clock so hard, I thought I might have broken it. I have never had a dream like that; it all felt so real.

Once reality set back in, I make my way to the bathroom to go through my morning routine when I hear my phone go off to indicate a text. I trip over the clothes I had thrown on the floor the previous night while running to see if it's from Carmilla. It is.

"Hey cutie, call me when you get up. I have some great news for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What good news could Carmilla have for Laura? Is is about the job at Silas? The next chapter will be posted soon. Let me know what you think!


	3. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla takes Laura out to dinner, but everything changes.

Oh my god, a good morning text from Carmilla is the best thing I could have woken up to, especially after a dream like that. It all seemed and felt so real; it must have been a lucid dream or something. Not that I’m complaining or anything, but it was a new experience for me.

I open my contacts, pull up Carmilla’s number and hit send. As the phone is ringing, I’m racking my brain trying to figure out what I should say. Should I say hello, hi, hey, what’s up? God, she is so hard to read. How can someone be so disarming and enticing at the same ti-“

Her voicemail finally cuts on “Hey, you’ve reached Carmilla’s phone. I’m either sleeping or I’m just avoiding you. Leave a message or something.”

_Beep._

“Hey Carm, I just woke up and saw your text and I’m calling you back. Hopefully you’re just sleeping and not avoiding me. Talk to you soon. Bye.”

I open messages back up and reread her text. Good news? What could this even be about? We only met yesterday and it’s like she has turned my life upside down. I can’t worry about this too much, or I will drive myself crazy. I put my phone down on my night stand and go about my morning routines.

Today is my day off at the bakery, so I really don’t have anything I need to get ready for, but something tells me that I won’t be staying home today. I get dressed and make myself some cocoa. I grab my phone and cocoa and head outside to my swing. It’s such a beautiful morning. I feel bad for people who aren’t ‘morning people’ because this is the best part of my day. The way the sun illuminates the sky when it first peeks over the horizon, the scent of the sun warming up the dew on the ground and the songs that the birds only seem to sing in the morning are unparalleled to any other time of day. Sitting on my mother’s swing during sunrise is my favorite place to be. Although, sometimes I kind of wish someone was here with me right now. What I wouldn’t give to be wrapped up in Carmilla’s arms right now.

The phone rings. It’s Carmilla.

“Carmilla? Hi. I’m really sorry if I woke you. I was just returning your text.”

“Cupcake, It’s really ok. Honestly, if anyone else called me at this ungodly hour, I would knock them into the next century, but I’ll make an exception for you.”

I blush at the thought, but then I realize that it’s after 10:30 am and… never mind.

“So, what good news were you talking about? I’ve kind of been dying thinking of what you could have meant.”

“Sorry about that, I’m not a morning person as you can probably tell. Anyway, I went and had a conversation with the principal yesterday after you left. You seem to really want this job and we could use good teachers so I-“

“You what…? I say, hoping for the best.

“Let’s just say that you will be getting a call from the principal’s secretary sometime today explaining the new hire procedures and other stuff.” Carmilla says with an audible but sleepy grin.

“Are you serious!?” I practically scream and jump off the swing. “I don’t know how I could ever thank you!”

“I could think of a few things you could do” Carmilla says knowing that I’m too excited to register it. “I should be done with my teacher duties around 4:00 if you would like to celebrate or something.”

“Yea, that would be great. Thank you so much, Carm.”

“Yea well, I should probably get to work at some point today but I’ll text you later, ok?”

“Ok, talk to you soon. Bye”

“Bye, cupcake.”

* * *

 

I run inside, realizing that I have what could potentially be a date with the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I have a lot to do if I’m going to be ready for her by 4:00. After getting my hair cut and a new outfit, I’m sitting in the chair at my favorite nail salon, getting my toes done. As I’m sitting there with my eyes closed, trying to relax, I feel my phone vibrate on the arm rest. It’s a text from Carmilla.

“Hey, cutie. So did you dream of me last night like I told you not to?”

Shit, how did she even know? Fine. If she wants to play games with me, I’ll play back. I send back to her “Actually, I did dream of you. It didn’t really feel like a dream though.”

I put my phone back down, and relax into the awesome massage chairs they have at this salon. I think that’s why it’s my favorite to be honest. Just as I close my eyes, I feel my phone vibrate on the arm rest.

“Hmm, I’m curious as to what you were dreaming about, but I suppose I can wait until later to find out. Well, it’s your day so what do you want to do tonight?”

I’m not sure what’s more intoxicating, the way she talks to me or the nauseating scent of nail polish in here. I almost feel like I’m back in high school when I developed my first real crush. That moment when you feel like the butterflies in your chest are so overwhelming that you feel paralyzed in a trance of infatuation; that’s what I experience every time I even think of her.

“I don’t really get out much so I really don’t know what there is to do in this town. I’ve always been so busy, I forgot how to relax. How about you surprise me.”

After I sent that to her, my toes were just about dry and I was getting ready to leave. I put on those ridiculous salon sandal things and pay at the register. Just as I’m walking out, my phone begins ringing. It’s a number that I don’t recognize, so I switch on my most professional voice.”

“Laura Hollis speaking.”

“Hello Ms. Hollis, this is Elizabeth Spielsdorf, the principal’s secretary at Silas High School. How are you today?”

“I’m doing well, thank you. How are you?” I say trying to hold back from squealing.

“I’m great, thank you. I’m am calling to give you the good news that you will be our new journalism teacher here at Silas if you accept the position. Please understand that the school newspaper and yearbook will be your responsibility as well. Will you be ok with that?”

“Yes! This is the best news! I am more than glad to take on the school newspaper and yearbook. This is what I wanted to teach anyway. Thank you so much!” I say realizing that I’m probably embarrassing myself because I’m still standing just inside the salon and I’m screaming like an imbecile. I walk outside and to my car so I can freak out in peace.

“The principal wanted me to congratulate you and to welcome you to the Silas family. She’s sorry she couldn’t call you herself, but she had a pressing matter to attend to in the Lustig Building. I will be sending some forms and such to your email to fill out and return to me. I will also send the dates of the new teacher training seminar and you will start shortly after that. Do you have any questions?”

“I probably do, but I’m honestly too excited right now to remember any of them” I say trying to end this conversation before this woman before she hears me sob in happiness over the phone.

“Well, please get those forms back to me soon. Congratulations and I look forward to meeting you in person. Have a great day.”

“Yes, I should have them you in the next two days or so. Thank you and I look forward to meeting you as well. Good bye” I said while simultaneously hanging up without waiting for her to say goodbye because the tears are coming. I swear that I have felt more emotions in the last two days than I have the rest of my life combined. Between Carmilla and this job, I am floating.

I wipe my tears and open up my messages to text Carmilla. Just as I begin, my phone vibrates.

“Haha, ok cupcake. You asked for it. I’m sure we’ll find something fun to do. Have you heard from the school yet?”

“Yes, someone just called me! Thank you again for everything. I don’t know how to ever repay you. So, what do you have planned for tonight? I’m kind of excited.”

She responds almost immediately. “I have to keep some of my secrets, otherwise I’ll lose my air of mystery, won’t I? Trust me sweetheart, you will have a good time. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up at 4. See you then, cutie.”

“Ok, I guess I’ll wait and find out. 1680 Ell St. See you soon, Carm.”

I drive home so quickly, I was sure that I would get a speeding ticket but it was worth it. She’s worth it. It’s now 2:47 pm, so I have a lot to do to get ready for tonight. Since I have no idea what we will be doing, I really don’t know what I’m going to wear.

When I finally get home, I practically run to my closet and start pulling out everything I have trying to find the perfect outfit. I need to make a statement like “I’m confident, yet really sweet but I also think you’re really hot and I want you to touch me.” Just as I’m beginning to panic, thinking that I don’t have anything good enough to wear, I find the perfect top. It’s made of this distressed wintergreen fabric that hangs off my shoulder and clings to all the right places. I don’t know how I could have forgotten that I have this. I pair it with my favorite skinny jeans and the most perfect boots to tie the whole outfit together.

I lay everything out on my bed and take a quick shower, making sure that I shave, exfoliate and moisturize because I want to be ready for anything that Carmilla has planned. I get dressed and finish getting ready as fast as I can because it’s almost 4:00. I want to be ready on time just in case she gets here early. Carm doesn’t seem like the early kind of girl, but you never know. Just as I’m putting the finishing touches on my hair and make-up, I hear the door bell ring. I swear that my heart just dropped into my stomach and back up again bringing butterflies with it. Ok Hollis, keep your excruciating awkwardness to a minimum tonight. Don’t ruin this.

I collect myself in the mirror, making sure that my hair looks perfect and calmly make my way to the door. I look through the peep hole to see Carmilla facing away from the door. My god, she is immaculate. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and open the door.

“Hey” I spill out with a shaky voice.

Carmilla turns around with this look on her face that makes me tremble. The way she has her eye brow raised at me makes my breath hitch. “Hey cupcake, I’m glad to see you.” She seems like she’s had a stressful day, but the smile she is giving me tells me that she’s being honest. She really does want to be here.

“I’m glad to see you too. Would you like to come in?” I ask, opening the door a bit wider.

“Yea, that would be great. Thanks.”

Carmilla walks in and immediately sits down on my couch, laying her head back and closing her eyes. I walk over and sit down on the couch, but not too close. I’m not really sure how to read her right now and I don’t want to scare her away.

“Can I get you anything? I have water, tea, wine and grape soda” I say tilting my head so her eyes will catch mine when she opens them.

“Yea, some water would be nice.”

I get up to get Carm some water and I feel her grab my hand. I whip my head around and look at her with concern in my eyes. She looks vulnerable, which is oddly beautiful. I know I haven’t known her very long, but I’m really worried. I just have this feeling that she’s going through something bad but I don’t know what to do to help her. She pulls me back down to the couch, but much closer to her. She closes her eyes and lets her head fall back onto the couch. I shift my weight so that I’m facing her and put my hand on her knee, hoping that will comfort her at least a little. With her eyes still closed, her head rolls so that she is facing me. She finally opens her eyes and stares into mine like she needed me.  Whatever is going on, all I know is I want to make it go away. I hate seeing her like this.

“Are you ok?” I ask, while laying back and resting my head on the back of the couch so we are face to face.

“It’s just been a really rough day, sweetheart. Nothing you should have to worry about” Carmilla says and then looks down.

“Hey” I say to get her to look back up at me. She let her eyes slowly make their way back up to mine and she takes another deep breath. “Whatever is going on, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

I see the muscles in Carmilla’s face relax for the first time since she walked in and I see the faintest grin appearing. I have never seen her look more beautiful. I could stay right here forever. She reaches up, putting her hand on my face so gently and slowly runs her thumb along my cheek bone. I melt into her touch and I’m starting to find it hard to breathe normally. Even the most innocent moments with Carmilla can become so intimate. I could never get close enough to this woman. Just as I open my eyes, she reaches and gently pushes my hair behind my ear and trails her fingers down my side to eventually rest on my thigh.

“Will you just sit with me for a minute?” she says, smiling a bit more and it begins to reach her eyes.

“Of course I will” I say smiling back.

“No, closer” she says as she takes my legs and pulls them over her lap with one hand and pulls me close against her with the other. She buries her face into my neck and I just wrap my arms around her and hold onto her like our lives depend on it. I feel every part of her body relax into me, but I won’t let go. I don’t want her to feel like she’s alone. I want her to feel... wanted.

We just sit there, holding each other for a while. I started to rub her back which was apparently a good idea based on the way that she’s smiling into my neck and holding me even tighter. After a few minutes of this, Carmilla pulls back and looks at me.

“We’re even.”

I look at her with a bit of confusion on my face. “What do you mean?”

She looks down. “You said you wanted to repay me for helping you with the job. After what I’ve been through lately, this is the sweetest thing anyone could ever do for me but I'm glad it was you. You just letting me be still and making me feel wanted and not alone is all I needed.” She looks back up at me. “I’m glad you crashed into my life, Laura.”

I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her back into me. “I’m here for you, Carm. I’m glad I crashed into you too.”

She pulls back just slightly so that we are cheek to cheek and softly says into my ear “Come with me.” She slowly stands up, keepin her hands on me as long as possible. She extends a hand out to help me up, smiles and says “We have reservations in twenty minutes. We should go.” I take her hand and follow her out the door.

* * *

 

 

We arrive at the restaurant and there is a huge line going out the door. I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed, knowing that we might have to wait, but I’m just glad to be here with Carm. I’m looking around for a sign because I’ve never been here before. The only thing I can find is a piece of wood on the front with a creepy looking lizard on it. I didn’t even realize that Carmilla had already gotten out of the car until she opened my door. To be honest, it scared me a bit so I was frozen, just looking at her. Since I seem to be stuck, she leans over me to undo my seat belt; making sure to have her face so close to mine and lingering a lot longer than innocent intentions would allow. She extends a hand and helps me out of the car and then closes the door behind me. Our fingers instinctively lace together as we make our way toward that huge line.

I’m surprised when she keeps walking past the line straight to the front door. A man in a clean but casual suit smiles at us and says “Good evening, Ms. Karnstein. Your table is waiting for you” while opening the door for us.

“Thank you, Kirsch. Good to see you” Carm says while leading me through the door. She’s not in the mood for small talk right now, even though she clearly knows that guy. Without ever letting go of my hand, she leads me to this booth in the back of the restaurant; the kind that wrap around the table so we can sit next to each other. We sit down close to one another and relax.

“You’ve obviously been here before, what is this place?” I ask.

“This is my brother’s restaurant. He and his college buddy Kirsch own the place.”

“Oh, that makes sense. It seems pretty cool” I say looking around and realizing how dark it is in here. This seems like Carmilla’s kind of place.

“I like it. The food is great and the atmosphere is calm. That’s what I really like about this place.”

The waitress approaches us. “Good evening, Ms. Karnstein and hello miss...“

“Hi, I’m Laura.”

“What can I get you both to drink?”

I look at Carmilla because never being here before, I’m not sure of what to get.

“Do you trust me?” she says.

“Yes” I say without hesitation.

“Hey Natalie, we’ll start with whatever wine my brother is recommending right now and the chef’s tasting menu for both of us.”

“Great choice as always, Ms. Karnstein. I’ll be right back with some water and your wine shortly after” she says with a genuine smile.

As she walks away, I almost feel like we’re back in my apartment. This place has such an intimate setting. I’m glad she brought me here tonight.

“I am so sorry. I just realized I haven’t even asked about your day. How are you, cutie?” Carmilla says, grabbing my hand and putting it on her lap.

“Carm, don’t be sorry. You’ve clearly had an awful day. I’m just glad that you still want to be out with me considering.”

“I don’t want to be anywhere else" Carmilla says.

We sit for a while, talking about anything and everything, sipping wine and just being in the moment. Whatever happened in our lives recently seemed to disappear for the time being and it honestly felt amazing. The tasting menu was a bit weird, but delicious. It was an array of small plates featuring delicacies from Eastern Europe. Some flavor combinations were very strange, but it was all great. The longer we sit there the more people pile in the restaurant. Not that either of us seem to care.

As the waitress comes to clear the rest of out plates, Carmilla orders a dessert for us to share and asked for it to be bagged to go. She nods and walks away from the table.

Carmilla turns to me and slides her hand onto my upper thigh making the muscles in my stomach pull just slightly.

“Thank you for coming here with me” she says, moving her hand around deliberately to make my hips stir.

“Thank you for taking me here. It was delicious.”

Carmilla bit her lip and her eyes widened for just a second. She slides her hand slowly toward the inside of my thigh while using her other hand to grab mine and kiss it gently. My mouth pops open and I gasp before I can stop myself. No one has ever made me feel so unraveled before. I wish we weren’t in the middle of a restaurant right now. It is taking every ounce of focus I have right now to keep my cool. She slowly leans closer to me and kisses me on my jaw line, just under my ear. A moan slips out of my mouth which makes Carmilla kiss me on my neck and slide her hand further north. Before I realize it, I rotate my hips toward her hand. I don’t care where we are anymore, I want her. Now.

Carmilla pulls back just as Natalie was returning with our dessert, leaving me hanging on the edge of a cliff that I was not ready to climb down from. I want her so badly that it’s painful.

“Thank you, Ms. Karnstein, Laura. Kirsch has taken care of your bill for the evening. You all have a great night.”

Thanks, Natalie. We will for sure” Carmilla says without breaking eye contact with me.

She grabs the bag and my hand and we make our way back to her car. Carmilla opens the door for me and closes it once I’m safely inside. She is so chivalrous, it’s really adorable. She would probably kill me if I ever said that to her. 

“Ready to go have some real fun, cutie?” Carmilla says as she starts her car and begins to pull away.

“Yes” I say, boiling with anticipation. Whatever she wants to do, I hope we’re alone while we’re doing it.

Her hand finds its way back to my thigh and I swear I’m going to lose it. We drive without saying a word, but we can read each other like a book. I am so distracted by my desire for Carm that I don’t even realize where we’re going until we pull up to my apartment. I almost feel hurt thinking that she might want to end the night early.

She shuts the car off and turns to face me. “I had some other stuff planned for us to do, but I really just want to be alone with you right now. Is it ok if I come up?”

“I was hoping you would ask” I say and then kiss her on the cheek. She smiles and gets out to come open the door for me.

This time I take her hand and lead her up the stairs and into my living room. “I just need to go to the wash room. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back.” Once she nods, I walk to the wash room. I lean against the counter and try to collect myself. Holy shit Hollis, is this gorgeous woman really in your living room right now giving you seduction eyes? What is even happening? I quickly freshen up and make sure that I look good. If something is really going to happen with Carmilla tonight, I want to look perfect for her.

By the time I come back out. Carmilla is sitting on my couch with her legs so far open, I would swear she’s doing Pilates or something. I’m really not complaining though. She removed her red flannel leaving only a super-lacy black top and these really hot leather pants.

“Movie?” I ask.

“Sounds great, sweetheart.”

“Ok” I say as I sit down next to her and pull up Netflix.

“You find us something good to watch and I’ll stumble around your kitchen and get us something to drink." I can’t help but smile at how cute she’s being right now. I kiss her on the cheek and thank her.

Carmilla smiles and makes her way toward the kitchen. As I hear loud sighing and various banging noises coming from an adorable Carmilla, I scroll through my Netflix account searching for the perfect movie to watch ten minutes of before we hopefully start making out. I pull up Bloomington and wait for Carmilla to return.

She comes back into the living room soon after with two mugs in hand. I was wondering what was taking so long. Oh my god, she made me cocoa. Could she be any more perfect?

“What are we watching, cupcake?”

“Bloomington. Is that ok?” I say to her.

She raises her eyebrow at me while handing me my Tardis mug and says “Bloomington, huh? I love this movie. Interesting choice, cutie.”

“You started it” I said with the most mischievous smile and she reciprocates. I hit play then go turn out the lights. On my way back to her, I take a sip of this cocoa. “Oh my god, this is delicious. What did you put in it!?” I say.

“Peppermint extract goes great with this stuff. I thought you might like it.”

“That’s why it reminds me of Christmas! I love it, Carm. You just keep surprising me.”

I’m actually shocked that we made it as long as we did. We sat there, watching the movie with just occasional touching each other. By the time we got to the library scene, it was over. Gets me ever time. The second the scene is over, Carmilla turns to me with intensity in her eyes.

“Laura, can I kiss you?” she says while placing her hand on my cheek again. She acts as if I would actually say no to kissing her, but her old fashioned ways are so endearing. It makes her even hotter.

“Yes.”

Carmilla leans in, grabbing my face with both hands and kissing me with a passion that I have never seen in anyone before. I get a little brave and put my hand on her thigh this time. Her breath hitches which makes me moan into her mouth. Next thing I know, she lays me down with her strong, yet gentle arms. I’m laying flat on my back and Carmilla is laying with her right leg resting in between mine and practically chest to chest. She positions herself so that she can look directly into my eyes with her hair falling all around us.

“Is this ok?” she asks while lacing her fingers in mine and putting my arms above my head.

I am so worked up right now, the English language escapes me so I just nod and say “mhm.”

Carmilla takes this as a green light, raises her sexy-ass eyebrow and says to me “buckle-up, Creampuff.”

* * *

 

 

Oh fuck. My body was in no way ready for Carmilla Karnstein. She starts kissing me so softly. First on the lips, then the corner of the mouth, down my jaw line, and eventually ending up on my exposed shoulder. She flips her dark, curly hair to the other side so she can get to work. I swear that my hips are starting to develop a mind of their own.

She quickly pulls me up so that she is sitting on the couch and I’m straddling her. She just sits there and stares at me for a few seconds.

“God, you’re so beautiful” she says.

I crash into her putting everything I have into this kiss. Her hands find their way under the back of my shirt and she lightly scratches down my back. I arch my back and let out an involuntary moan. She smiles against my lips and almost begins laughing; I take this as a challenge. I pull back and quickly take my shirt off and throw it on the floor. Without even giving her a chance to react, I flip my hair to one side and go back to kissing her. She lifts my chin with her hand and starts in on my neck. Alternating between the softest kisses and these tricks she’s doing with her tongue, I’m falling apart and she hasn’t even really touched me yet.

She works her way down my neck, to my collar bones (her favorite spot apparently) and then down to my chest. I moan and grind my hips against her and I guess that’s all she needed. In one swift motion, she stands up while still holding onto me, wrapping my legs around her back, and carries me to my bedroom all while still putting in work on my neck. She is somehow able to climb up on my bed while still holding me and lay me down so she doesn’t have to stop what she’s doing. Soon, Carmilla is laying on top of me, kissing me like it was going to be the last time and grinding her hips into me slowly. I have never been so turned on in my life. Fuck.

She suddenly stops and stands up next to the bed. She takes off her shirt, grabs my legs and pulls me to where my hips are closer to the edge of the bed. She leans over me with her elbows on either side of me. She starts to kiss my stomach while sliding her hands underneath me to undo my bra in the smoothest way I have ever seen. Once my bra is off, she grabs my hands and puts them above my head and puts a pillow on top of them.

“Do you trust me?” Carmilla says in between kisses below my belly button.

“Yes” I answer in a breathy tone.

“Don’t move your hands. Let me do the work for now”

I nod in agreement without being sure that I can actually do this. I want to touch her so badly that it hurts, but I do trust her. She unbuttons my jeans and slowly begins to slide them off. I raise my hips to make it easier for her and that makes her pull them of even faster. She slides me back just a little bit so that I can comfortably put my feet up on the bed. I suddenly find her resting in between my legs and ready to kiss me. She hovers over me for a second. I can tell she’s fighting with herself on whether to say what’s on her mind. She opts not to and dives into me head first. She kisses trails all the way down my stomach. Just when I think it’s finally going to happen, she keeps going to my thigh and down to my knees. All of a sudden, she takes her hands and spreads my legs open wider and starts those tongue tricks along my inner thigh. I can’t fight it anymore. I lift my hands to tangle them in her hair to guide her to all the right places. She immediately stops and looks up at me.

“I thought I told you to not move your hands, cutie” she says with a grin.

“Ugh, I just want-“

“I know sweetheart, and I’m going to give it to you just the way you want me to. I just like to take my time.”

Oh my god, foreplay really her forte. I’m loving this and hating it at the same time. She pulls my legs up up so that they’re resting on her shoulder. She slides my underwear off, kissing the traces that the fabric left behind. She then moves back in between my legs so that they are wrapped around her shoulders and back. Before I realized what happened, she’s there. Doing those same tongue tricks and introducing some new ones that she must have saved for this moment. Alternating between slow delicious circles from her tongue and wandering fingers, I’m almost there already.

“Carm...” I whimper, about to fall apart underneath her. She stands up, takes off her pants and underwear before climbing on top of me giving me the break I need so I can make this last. She lays on top of me so that I feel every inch of her skin. Damn, she feels so good.

She kisses me and says “see how sweet you taste?”

I smile and flip her over so I’m on top of her. She smiles and puts her hands behind her head, giving me full access to every part of her. I flip my hair over with my hand and lean down to kiss her very slowly. She’s the one that can’t keep her hands to herself because they are on me within ten seconds, not that I’m complaining. We both start moving our hips in a unison rhythm; every bit of friction getting us closer to the finish. Her hands find her way to my back again and she begins the scratching harder this time. I never thought I would be the kind of girl that likes that sort of thing, but damn. We both start moaning and our breathing is getting really heavy.

She quickly flips me over, straddling one of my legs and then I can tell she’s ready and so am I. Suddenly she’s inside of me. Starting with two fingers, she moves them in and out of me, slowly, occasionally bending her fingers upward knowing what that will do to me. She goes back to the tongue tricks on my neck and she's grinding against my leg. We are both so close, it’s excruciating. I start moaning louder and louder. Calling her name and yelling random expletives. In between everything she’s doing to me right now, she finds the time to say my name into my ear. That’s all it took to send me spilling over the edge.

“Carmilla!” I shout as I begin trembling beneath her. She moans and falls with me, pulling me close as we come down from it together. She holds me even closer once she realizes how badly my legs are shaking. Wow, that’s never happened to me before.

We lay there, legs entwined together and her still half on top of me. As our breathing starts to slow down, we sync up and I feel more connected to her in this moment than I have ever felt about anyone.

After a few minutes of just laying there, Carmilla moves the hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ear. She runs her fingers across my chest and down my arm so that we’re holding hands with her arm stretched over me. I turn so that we’re facing each other, still as close I can possibly get to her.

She strokes my hair with her free hand and says “You’ll have to tell me in the morning if that compared to the dream you weren’t supposed to have about me.” She kisses me so gently on the lips, pulls back and says “but now, we should sleep.” I lean in to kiss her again and then I close my eyes and let the exhaustion take over. She kisses me on the forehead, wraps herself around me and we drift off to sleep.


	4. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla spend the day together and they even run into some friends of Laura's.

It is way too early for me to be awake right now. I really need to close those curtains, but they are all the way across the room and I’m really tired today. As I roll over in a sleepy haze to hide my eyes from the piercing sunlight, I see the beautiful girl laying naked in my bed. Holy shit. What happened last night was most definitely not a dream.

I roll out of bed as quietly as I can, making sure to not wake her. I run to the washroom to fix my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth so that I can get back to bed. Last night was so perfect that I can’t handle the thought of Carm experiencing my morning breath right now.

As I come back to the bedroom, I am very pleased to see that Carmilla is still fast asleep. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps and I can’t help but smile. I crawl back in bed behind her, wrap my arms around her waist and relax into her. I feel her begin to stir, but she doesn’t make a sound. I squeeze her a little tighter and kiss her softly on the back of the neck. Carmilla slides her hand down my arm until she reaches my hand and laces our fingers together, pulling me closer to her.

“Morning, cupcake” she says with a strained voice.

“Good morning, Carm” I say as I press another sweet kiss onto her neck. She grabs my arm and quickly pulls me over her body so we are face to face. I can’t help but laugh at the playfulness, but she goes from zero to a hundred real quick. Before I have the chance to catch my breath, she kisses me softly on the lips while entwining her legs with mine. I stretch and press my entire length on her body and kiss her back with all the fervor I have in me.

This is one of those moments that most people dream about. I have always wanted this kind of intimacy with someone, but the fact that she is as beautiful and sweet as Carmilla is a dream come true. She pulls back, laying her head on the pillow and opens her eyes to look at me.  

“I’m really glad I’m here with you right now” Carmilla says while moving her hand onto my hip.

“I’m really glad you’re here too. You’re so beautiful” I say while softly sliding my hand down her arm from her shoulder to her wrist.

She moves her hand from my hip to my neck, all while rolling us over so that she’s hovering over me. She kisses me with a sense of passion I have never felt in anyone before. We move out lips together, creating a rhythm that makes makes all my muscles tighten. Just as things are really stating to take off, Carmilla pulls back and looks at me.

“It’s my day off, will you spend it with me” she says with a huge smile on her face.

I close my eyes and furrow my brow because this is the last thing I want to say to her. “I have to do all the paperwork for the new job and I’m supposed to be at work in a few hours too. Please don’t think that I want to do those things more than I want to be with you, I just-“

“Cupcake” she says almost playfully. I open my eyes. “You are ridiculous and headstrong. I can help you with the paperwork seeing as I’ve done it before and you could always call into work you know.”

“I’ve never done that before” I say almost feeling afraid.

“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. They will give you the day off for sure. Plus, you’ll be starting a new job soon and they will have to learn to live without you anyway” she says.

“Ok."

“Yea?” she says elatedly.

Carmilla then leans in to kiss me with all the energy I think she can have in the morning and I kiss her back. I know that I’ve only known her for a few days, but I really like her. My desire for her is insatiable and that’s an amazing feeling.

She breaks our kiss and says “You call the bakery and I’ll be right back.”

Carmilla kisses me on my forehead and rolls out of bed. I reach for my phone and call my boss.

“Hello” Ms. Cochrane says. 

“Hey, it’s Laura. I’m afraid I can’t come in today. I hope it doesn’t make too much trouble for you.”

“We’ll be fine, is everything ok with you?"

“Yes, I’m fine. Something has come up and it’s pretty serious. I just need some time but I will be ok. Thanks for your concern though” I say trying to keep my cool.

“Well, I hope everything works out and don’t worry about us. It will probably be a slow day anyway. See you later, Laura” she says earnestly.

“Thanks Ms. Cochrane, have a good day” I say and then hang up the phone. I set the phone down ad stretch every sore muscle in my body. It brings up the memories of what Carmilla and I did last night and I can’t help but smile.

“Pretty serious, huh?” Carmilla says while leaning against the doorway that separates my bedroom from the washroom. She’s still completely naked, looking incredible with all the confidence in the world. She should be confident though, I have never seen anyone more beautiful in my life.

“Yeah, I...” I’m surprised that I can even get that out. I’m feeling paralyzed because I can’t believe my life right now.

“You’re too cute, cupcake” Carmilla says while sauntering over to me. As she reaches the edge of my bed, she extends her hand out to take mine. I slide out of bed to stand in front of her. She pushes my hair back over my shoulders and then glides her hands down my arms and takes my hands.

“Why don’t we get that paperwork done so we can go back to having fun” she says with a mischievous smile.

“Yea, I need to take a quick shower first and then we can do that. Is that ok?”

“Yep, I’ll be right here.”

* * *

 

I don’t want to leave her right now, but hygiene is very important to me; especially when I’ll be spending the day with a beautiful woman. I walk into the washroom and turn on the water to make sure it’s the perfect temperature. I look into the mirror as I’m waiting for the water to heat up. How could someone like Carmilla be interested in me? She is the kind of beautiful that seems almost untouchable. I would have never approached her to ask her out because she is so intimidating. The really crazy part is that up close, she is so vulnerable. I have seen both sides of Carmilla Karnstein and I really like what I see.

I climb into the shower, letting the water wash away my self-doubt. I need to become more confident in myself, and I think that Carmilla is helping me.

Just as I’m lathering shampoo into my hair, I hear the shower door open. I can’t open my eyes to confirm that it’s Carmilla in the shower with me because I’ll get soap in my eyes, but her arms wrapping around me from behind is all I need. I quickly rinse the shampoo out of my hair as she’s pulling me closer to her.

I turn around to meet her gaze and say “what are you doing in here?”

“Well cutie, I decided that I wanted to take a shower too and I thought water conservation was an idea you could get behind. Besides, showering with you could be fun.”

“Sounds good to me” I say as I smile and lean in to kiss her.

Carmilla grabs my shoulders and spins me around. She presses her body against my back while wrapping her arms around me. We both stand there for a minute with the water cascading all around us. She pulls me closer while I lay my arms on top of hers. She eventually pulls her arms away and grabs my loufa, puts some body wash on it and begins to gently wash my back. This is by far the most intimate experience of my life. I feel so connected to her in every way. I have never felt this way about anyone.

After a lot of kissing, holding each other and actual showering we decide to get out. I grab a towel for the both of us. We dry off and get dressed. I let Carmilla borrow one of my shirts and I swoon at the way she looks in it. I could seriously get used to this. She turns to me and realizes that I’m staring at her. Even though I see her notice, I can’t stop looking.

“Hey, how about you stop staring at me and we get that paperwork done so we can go about our day.”

“Uh, yea... sorry. I just can’t believe that you’re here” I say with all sincerity.

“I can’t believe it either.”

Oh god, I knew it. I knew this was too good to be true. She doesn’t actually like me and she wants to leave. I feel like she just punched me in the stomach. Carmilla must have sensed that something was wrong because she moved toward me very quickly. She wrapped me in her embrace and tilted my chin up gently so that she could look me in the eye.

“I mean that I can’t believe that you would be interested in me. You are perfect to me. You’re motivated and strong, yet gentle and compassionate. When I saw you walk through the door at Silas, I knew that I wanted to talk to you, but I figured you were already with someone because you are too beautiful to not be. Fate must have been on my side that day because you ran into me and everything changed. I can’t believe that I’m here with you because you’re too good for me and I don’t deserve you” Carmilla says and then closes her eyes to hide from her insecurity.

I am blown away. I don’t know what to say, but I know I have to say something.

"I had no idea that you felt that way. I feel the same way about you and I don’t know what to-“

Carmilla interrupts me with a kiss. She moves one hand up to my neck and the other to my hair. I feel like I’m floating and her touch is the only thing that can keep me grounded.

She pulls back and says “Lets actually do that paperwork so we don’t get ourselves into trouble.”

“Fine” I say as I slowly lean in and kiss her on the lips. This makes Carmilla close her eyes and I take this opportunity to pull away from her, teasing her a bit. The look on her face right now is priceless.

I pull out my laptop and sit on the bed. As I’m opening my email, Carmilla sits down next to me. I open up all the attachments, only then realizing how much work this is going to be. At least I have Carmilla's help. I’m quickly making my way through each document, methodically filling out the same information over and over again, desperately wanting to be finished. Before we know it, it’s almost 1 pm and we’re both kind of hungry.

“I’m going to order a pizza, you want anything special?” Carmilla says while reaching for her phone.

“Whatever you want is fine with me” I say while turning to look at her.

Camilla leaves the room so to not bother me. I finish the last couple sections of the document I’m working on and save it. I’m surprised to see that it’s the last thing I have to do. I quickly attach them an email and send them to Ms. Spielsdorf. With that out of the way, I can give all my attention to Carmilla and I am dying to get back to her. I close my laptop and get up to go find her.

I find Carmilla sitting on the couch, talking to the pizza guy.

“Yea, I want the usual. Make sure the crust is perfect because it just has to be. Alright, thanks.”

“Guess what?” I say, surprising Carmilla.

She hangs up the phone and turns around so she’s facing me. “What, cupcake?”

“I’m finished with all the paperwork and I sent it to Ms. Spielsdorf.”

“Great. The pizza should be here soon. Let’s find something to do in the mean time. Come here,” she says while raising an eyebrow.

Damn, how does she make me feel like this? I walk over to the couch and I’m feeling a little brave for some reason. Maybe it’s what she said earlier, but I feel like I don’t have to hide anything from her. I sit on her lap, straddling her and wrap my hands around the back of her neck.

"What do you want to do?” I say with a smile on my face.

Carmilla moves her hands up my thighs, landing on my hips and pulls me closer to her. She then says “Apparently the same thing as you, cupcake.”

I slowly pull my shirt over my head, causing my hair to fall around my shoulders. Carmilla bites her bottom lip; apparently that drives me crazy and I think she knows it. She glides her hands up my back and unfastens my bra, letting the straps slide down my arms so slowly, touching every bit of skin that she can along the way. I can’t take the distance between us anymore, so I lean in to kiss her. Damn, I love the way she tastes. I grab the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head quickly because I would do anything to be close to her right now and even that brief moment of disconnection from her is painful. As soon as we start kissing again, Carmilla unbuttons my jeans and slides her hand down them. This makes me throw my head back and gasp because it just feels so good. Suddenly her mouth is all over me and I am grinding into her because I need her. I need every part of her. It doesn’t take me very long and before I know it, I have the most intense orgasm of my life. I collapse around her, resting my head on her shoulder facing toward her neck. I could stay right here forever.

Shit, there’s the doorbell. Carmilla starts to move as if she’s getting up and I squeeze her even tighter.

“Cupcake, I need to get the door. It has to be the pizza guy.”

“No” I say with a playful tone.

“Let me get the pizza and you can have me all to yourself again. We can do anything you want, I promise” Carm says while running her fingertips up and down my back.

“Fine” I say as I roll over to allow her to get up.

Carmilla goes to answer the door shirtless. I should probably be embarrassed, but I’m more turned on by her confidence at the moment. She pays the delivery guy, closes the door and makes her way toward the kitchen. I quickly get up to join her because I’m not done with her yet. As she sets the pizza on the counter, I approach her and wrap my arms around her from behind. I lay my cheek against her back and hold her tightly.

“What are you doing, cutie?”

“I need to return the favor” I say as I gently place a kiss between her shoulder blades.

“You don’t have to. I wanted to do that”

“Yea, well, I want to do this” I say as I spin her around and begin kissing her collar bone.

Carmilla lets out a laugh and I take that as a challenge. I want to show her that I want her as badly as she wants me. I drop down to my knees and begin to unbutton her jeans. As I start to slide them off along with her underwear, Carmilla grips the counter because she knows what I’m about to do. I pick up one of her legs and put it over my shoulder. I start very slow and deliberate strokes with my tongue, making sure that I apply pressure in all the right places.

“Laura...”

I start moving my tongue even faster, anchoring myself to her with my hands on her thighs. She is getting close to falling apart because of me and that makes me want to work even harder.

“Laura, oh fuck. Please.”

I move my tongue even faster, pushing it harder against her and that’s all that she needed.

“Laura!” She shouts and begins to tremble. To keep her from falling, I quickly stand up and wrap her in my arms. She lets all of her weight fall into me and I hold on to her tightly. She hums in delight and wraps her arms around my back. This makes me so happy that I can’t help but kiss her. She is the most beautiful when coming down from an orgasm. She looks almost like she needs me in that moment and I can definitely get used to that.

We finally break our passionate kiss after a minute and I say “the pizza is getting cold.”

“Who’s fault is that, cupcake?”

“Mine, but are you mad about it?” I say as I brush her hair behind her ear.

“Certainly not, you can do that any time you want” she says with a wicked smile on her face.

I narrow my eyes at her and kiss her softly on the lips. “I’ll get some plates.”

“You do that” she says and smiles widely at me.

After we finished eating, I cleared the dishes and made my way to the living room. Carmilla quickly followed and we sat on the couch together. She turned her head to look me in the eye and I know exactly what that look means.

“Lets go for a walk” I say.

“A walk, huh?”

“Yes.”

* * *

 

We get dressed and make our way out the door and down the sidewalk. I wasn’t sure how she felt about being seen with me in public, so I don’t try to hold her hand just in case. Just as we turn the corner, Carmilla extend her arm out and I wrap mine in it. I never thought that chivalry was my thing, but I could definitely get used to being treated this way. I rest my head on her shoulder and we make our way down the street.

I lead her toward one of my favorite places to go at night. There is a park a few blocks from my apartment. I love it so much because it has the greatest swing set with an incredible view of Lake Armitage. The spotlight the moon puts on the lake at night is so beautiful and I want to share that with Carmilla. We finally get to the front gate of the park. I know that it’s closed by now and normally that would be a problem for me, but I really don’t care right now.

“We have to jump the fence” I say looking down like I’ve already done something wrong.

“Breaking the rules, are we?” Carmilla says.

I look up and say “yea, well, lets just do this.”

“Whatever you say, cutie.”

We scale the fence and I grab her hand, leading her to the swings as fast as I can. Just as we get close to the swing set, I let go of her hand and run to it like I was a kid again. I have to admit that I still love the exhilarating feeling of flying through the air on a swing, even at the age of 23. I realize that Carmilla is just standing there, watching me and smiling.

“Don’t you like swings? They’re awesome!”

“I do, but I’m enjoying watching you more right now” she says with desire in her voice.

“Then come push me. I am pretty tired because of you so I could use the help.”

“You say that like you didn’t enjoy yourself, cupcake.” Carmilla says as she walks over and grabs my hips.

She pulls me back and just when I think she’s going to let go, she kisses me on the neck. God, she knows how to make me feel good. She lets go and I’m overwhelmed by sensation. I feel like I’m getting emotional so I try to start a conversation.

“Isn’t the lake beautiful?”

“Yea, I guess it is” she says sounding very distracted.

“I love it here. Are you ok?” I say realizing that her mood has changed.

“Yea, I’m fine.”

Ok, there is definitely something up with her. I push my feet into the ground, gradually slowing myself down. I stand up off the swing and turn toward Carmilla.

“What’s wrong?” I say while grabbing her hands.

“Nothing. Something just reminded me of when I was a kid and I spaced out for a minute. I’m sorry, cupcake.”

Carmilla lets go of my hands and wraps her arms around me. She is hugging me so hard, I’m almost having trouble breathing. Whatever she’s thinking about must be pretty serious and I could kick myself for bringing her here. I never wanted her to feel this way because of me. I slide my hands up her back to her shoulder blades. I want her to know that I really didn’t mean for this to happen. I feel so bad.

“I’m sorry for bringing you-“

“Don’t be, please. I’m so happy to be with you right now and I don’t want you to feel bad because you brought me here. I’m sorry that a sad part of my past was triggered and I let it take me away from you.” She pulls away and cups my face in her hands. “Lets head back to your place. I just want to be alone with you in a safe place.”

I kiss her softly on the cheek and then on her lips, grab her hands and we begin to make our way home. We are holding hands, walking down the sidewalk when I see my two best friends in the world walking toward us. My heart starts to race and I squeeze Carmilla’s hand even tighter.

“Everything ok, cutie?”

“Yea, the people walking toward us are friends of mine.”

“Great, I’d love to meet them” Carmilla says while giving me a reassuring smile.

Just as we are getting close to them, LaFontaine finally notices me. They and Perry were so engrossed in conversation, it took them long enough to realize it was me.

“Laura!” LaF says with a shocked look on her face.

“LaF, Perry, I miss you both so much!”

“We miss you too! Who’s this?” Perry says with a curious smile on her face.

“Oh, this is Carmilla. She’s my-“

“Girlfriend” Carmilla says before I can even come up with an answer. I spin my head around and look at her and she is waiting for me with the sexiest smile I have ever seen.

“Girlfriend? Nice going, L. We were wondering when you were going to find someone” LaF says and then gets a look of disapproval from Perry.

“Well, we all can’t fall in love with our childhood sweetheart like you” I say and they turn to kiss Perry on the cheek.

Carmilla takes this opportunity to say “well it was nice to meet you both, but we must be going.”

“Oh sure, talk to you soon, Laura?” Perry says and smiles widely at me.

“Definitely, we’ll all get lunch soon” I say.

LaF grabs onto Perry’s hand and says “cool, we’ll see you later then.”

“See ya” I say as Carmilla takes my hand and leads me back toward my apartment.

“Girlfriend?”

“Yea, that’s what we are right? A couple?” Carmilla says while stopping and putting her hands on my waist.

“Yea, I would like that very much” I say while moving close to her.

Carmilla kisses me, pulls back slightly and whispers “me too.”

I can’t help but smile at the thought of Carm being my girlfriend. This is actually happening. She takes my arm and we make our way back to my place. I never want this day to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. My Favorite Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura decides to take Carmilla on a trip and they learn so much about each other.

On our walk back to my apartment, I can’t help but feel like my life is finally beginning. I mean, the job I have always dreamed of is finally mine, this beautiful woman walking down the street with her hand in mine is actually my girlfriend and my friends seem to like her. I wonder if we can all get together soon so LaF and Perry can meet Carmilla for real. I want them to see why I like her so much. Maybe next week I can make that happen.

We stroll up to the front of my apartment and I’m starting to feel nervous. The only reason that makes sense as to why I would be nervous is that I really don’t want Carmilla to leave. These last few days have been amazing and I just want her to stay.

“So, do you want to stay tonight?” I say, hoping that she will agree.

“Yes, of course I do. I just need to get some things from my place. Want to go with?” Carmilla says and wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer.

“Yea, I have tomorrow off so I can stay out until whenever.”

“Great, do you need anything from your place or can we just go?” she says while unlocking her car.

“Lets go” I say and kiss her on the cheek.

Carmilla opens the door for me as usual and I climb in. I’m excited to see where she lives. I don’t really know too much about her and I am so excited to learn more. It seems like she’s had an interesting life and I hope that she feels comfortable sharing it with me. Carmilla climbs into the driver’s seat and we make our way toward her place. As we’re driving and talking about whatever, I notice that we’re leaving the middle-class neighborhoods our town and we end up in a more rich area. I never really had a reason to come over here before, but holy crap are the houses here beautiful.

We pull into the driveway of this beautiful Victorian style home. It was painted the cleanest shade of grey with white trim. A large majority of the windows were stained glass and each one of them seemed to tell a separate story. The landscaping was immaculate and I swear this is the most beautiful house I have ever seen.

“Uh, Carm, is this really your house?” I say with a confused look on my face.

“Yea, kind of. I’m actually adopted, but when my birth mother died, she left this house to me. I never knew her at all, but this house is just beautiful. I couldn’t turn it down. Sometimes it’s too big for me because I usually spend my time alone.”

“That’s pretty cool. I can’t believe you actually live here.”

“Yea, not having to pay a mortgage or rent is pretty great too” she says with a huge smile on her face. “Come on, let me show you around.”

Carmilla makes her way around her car to open the door for me. She takes my hand and leads me to the front door. As she’s unlocking the door, I am transfixed by the stained glass windows that surround the door. They seem to tell a story of sadness and redemption and it almost reminds of Carmilla a little bit. You see this dark figure turn from a troubled path to an enlightened path. They have to make the choice to save themselves, and they make the right choice only to be celebrated and praised by the end. This is literally just a bunch of windows and my mind is blown. I can’t believe this is her house, but then she opens the door.

Oh my god, I can’t breathe this place is so beautiful. When you first walk in, you are taken back by all the beautiful dark hard wood flooring and the spiral staircase that are both over shadowed by the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Carmilla throws her keys down like it’s no big deal while I’m having a total 'Gone With the Wind' moment and I can’t move.

“You coming in, sweetheart?”

“Yea, I... this is your house!?”

“I told you, it was left to me. It’s great to look at, but I do feel pretty lonely in here sometimes. Can we just grab my stuff and go back to your apartment?”

“Anything you want” I say and grab Carmilla’s hand. There’s something up with her right now and I just want her to not be sad.

“Come on” she says as she leads me up the stairs.

On the way, I notice the countless paintings and portraits or random people. Most of them look like they’re from medieval Europe, but I’ll have to ask her about that another time. We finally get to the end of the hallway and she opens the door to what I’m guessing is her bedroom. Oh my god, this is one of those bedrooms that you see on tv or in movies. There’s this beautiful red and white patterned wallpaper with rich mahogany antique furniture. The bed is really the centerpiece though. It’s a king size bed with a canopy, draped in beautiful white satin sheets that create this amount of intimacy and privacy that I have only dreamed of. This bed could also be turned into a fort depending on what mood you’re in and I really like that. I will have to remember that for later.

“I’ll be just a second, you should check out the balcony” Carmilla says like it’s no big deal.

“Balcony? Ok...” I say as I make my way toward the doors on the other side of the room. I open the door and step outside. There is a swing so I sit down and take in the view. There is a beautiful view of the forest behind her house. I just sit there in awe of everything. This house is incredible and my, um, girlfriend lives here. I never thought I would be in a relationship right now. I had everything planned out perfectly. My entire life has been about my future teaching career and I never thought I would have time for love. Oh crap, she couldn’t possibly love me. Could she?

Carmilla sits down next to me on the swing. She extends her hand out to me and I lace my fingers with hers, pulling her closer to me. “I guess this was my birth mother’s swing. She left me a diary and in it she said that she would sit here when she was pregnant with me. I sit here sometimes when I wonder about who she really was.”

Tears begin to well up behind my eyes. I don’t want to cry in front of her again, but I can’t help it. I try to turn away from her but she already knows something is wrong.

“Did I say something wrong, cupcake? Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not you. It’s just-” I let out an emotional sob and Carmilla pulls me in her arms. “You know that swing outside the back door of my apartment?”

“Yea, what about it?” she says, pulling back so she can see my face.

“It was my mother’s swing. She died a long time ago. She would sit on that swing when she was pregnant with me and it’s where I go when I miss her and I want to feel connected to her. I just can’t believe you have a swing too. This is weird” I say as I wipe my tears and lean into her.

“Oh, cupcake” Carmilla says and kisses me on my temple. “I’m sorry I brought that up, I didn't mean to make you sad. It seems like we have a lot more in common than I thought. Let’s get going, huh?”

“Yea, let’s go.”

Carmilla and I drive back to my apartment without saying much to each other. I feel terrible for getting so emotional, but I really couldn’t help it. I hope I didn’t put her off because I can’t imagine my life without her right now. What is happening to me?

We finally get back home and go inside. Carm takes her stuff to my bedroom and comes back out to join me on the couch. I am laying back on the pillows because I’m actually pretty tired. Between the long walk today and all the other various physical pursuits Carmilla and I have been up to, I’m not surprised. She lays on the couch with her head on my chest and her right arm draped over me gripping me tightly. I still can’t believe that she’s here and that she still wants me. I’ve never really had good luck with dating, mainly because of my extreme awkwardness, but this time it's different.

“You ok, Carm?” I say as I brush her hair away from her face.

“Yea, I’m just really glad to be here with you.”

“I’m glad you’re here too. Let’s go to bed,” I say as I pull her chin up so I can see her face better.

We stand up together and walk toward my room. We take care of the normal hygiene things and strip down to tank tops and underwear. I seriously can’t trust people who willingly sleep in pants. They are so uncomfortable so I’m glad that Carm feels the same way because her ass looks great in just underwear. We climb in bed together and she surprisingly just curls up into a ball facing away from me. She is normally the one that wants to hold me. Something is definitely different about her tonight and I’m not sure what it is.

I slide closer to her and wrap myself around her. I feel every muscle in her body relax one by one. I lift my head up and say into her ear “are you ok, Carm?”

“Please just hold me.”

I squeeze her tighter and I think she’s crying. Whatever pain she’s feeling right now, I want it to go away so I’m afraid to ask her anything else. I hold her as tight as she wants me to until we drift of to sleep together.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, I wake up to find that the roles have reversed. I am curled up with Carmilla’s arms around me possessively. I don’t have much experience actually just sleeping in a bed with someone so I  wasn’t sure if I would like it but it turns out that it’s pretty much the greatest thing ever. I could seriously get used to waking up like this.

Carm is still sleeping, but she has this worried look on her face. Whatever she is dreaming about, it must not be a happy dream. I think I can fix this.

I shift my weight and turn on my side. She’s beginning to wake because she’s tightening her grip around me. With one sweet kiss on her lips, I see every muscle in her face relax. I think this is my actual super power because it works every single time.

“You’re not trying to go anywhere are you?” Carmilla says with a sleepy grin; eyes still closed.

“Not without you” I say with all sincerity.

She pulls me closer to her and I bury my face in the crook of her neck. I love the way she smells and I am just so comfortable with her. I feel like I don’t have to hide any part of myself.

“Hey, you keep sleeping for a bit. I’m going to shower and then I’ll make you some breakfast.”

Carmilla opens her eyes as far as she can and says “If you insist, cupcake.” She kisses me hard and then loosens her grip so I can get up. My god, she looks so good laying in my bed.

By the time I get out of the shower, Carmilla is fully awake. She’s still lazily stretched out in my bed, but I think she was waiting for me to finish. I step foot into my bedroom with just a towel loosely draped around my body. It’s not fully covering me and that’s not exactly an accident.

“Wow” she says as I go through my dresser for something to wear.

“What?” I say as I turn around to look at her, knowing exactly what she’s talking about.

“You look amazing right now. You should come over here,” she says while raising her eyebrow.

I walk over to her slowly and I can actually see the excitement growing in her facial expressions. I hate to do this because I want her too, but it will be worth it.

“I told you that I’m going to make you breakfast. Get dressed and I’ll see you in the kitchen.” I say all this with a stern, but cute look on my face.

Carmilla grabs my hand and pulls me down for a long, sweet kiss. I fight every urge in my body and pull away, grab my clothes and make my way toward the kitchen. Today is all about Carm and I’m going to make sure that it’s perfect. I hope she’s up for it because I thought out the perfect plan while I was in the shower and we have a long drive ahead of us.

After a quick shower, Carmilla gets dressed and meets me in the kitchen. I made us a few omelets and cut up some fruit. I really hope she likes it because I’m really not sure of what kind of food she likes. With the table set with the best dinnerware that I have, I put all the food in place, just ask she is ready to sit down.

“Wow, this is amazing. No one has ever really cooked for me like this.”

“I’m happy to cook for you any time. I hope you like what I made you, but please let me know if you don’t because I could make you someth-“

“Cupcake.”

“Sorry, I just” I begin to ramble again and then I stop myself. I go back to the kitchen and set the dishes down so I can go back to the table.

“It’s ok, thank you so much. I know it will be delicious. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

“I wanted to. If you’re up for it, I want you to spend the day with me” I say, hoping for a yes. I walk over to Carmilla, standing right next to her.

“I’m definitely up for it. What do you have planned?”

“Well, it’s kind of a surprise. We have a long drive ahead of us, so eat up.” I say this with a cute smile and it must have worked.

“Ok then, sounds good to me,” Carmilla says while pulling me down onto her lap. Wrapping my arms around her neck, I kiss her deeply and quickly get up to go eat my breakfast. Not that I would mind staying home and having sex with Carm all day, I just have a lot planned for her. We can do all that later tonight.

We finish eating our breakfast and put the dishes in the dishwasher. It turns out that she likes my cooking, or she was just trying to be sweet and said she did. Either way, it made me happy.

We get dressed and head outside to get in the car. “Do you want me to drive? It’s a couple hours away,” I ask.

“No, sweetness. I don’t mind driving. I just kind of wish I knew where you are taking me.”

“Do you trust me?” I ask.

“Yes, I trust you completely.” Carmilla says and I can tell that she means it.

“Lets go, then.”

* * *

 

Carmilla and I start down the road and I am so excited I can’t stand it. I’ve never shared this place with anyone, but she’s worth it. A couple of hours away from here, there is this giant sink hole that has become a monument in itself. Not that many people really go there, so it’s where I go to kind of reset and figure my life out. It’s the rainy season so that means the waterfall should be pretty strong and I cannot wait to get there.

I direct her toward the highway and we just talk about anything and everything. I tell her all about my dad and how he’s so paranoid and over-protective about everything. She must be thinking he’s crazy but she’s just looking at me like I’m her favorite person in the world and nothing else really matters. She tells me about her mom; her adoptive mom anyway.

“I will just never be good enough for her I guess. She has this grand plan for me that I just do not want to follow. She forgets all the time that it’s my life and I deserve to live it my way. I thought she would be happy when I became a teacher. I thought it’s what she wanted. Now that I’m doing well, she wants more. She wants me to become an administrator like her and I want to stay in the classroom because it’s what I really love.” Carmilla says while gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white.

“Wow, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what it must have been like growing up like that. I wouldn’t know what to do if I knew someone like that,” I say as I put my hand on her knee to reassure her.

“You already know her and you’re terrified of her,” she says.

“What do you mean? I’ve never met her.”

Of course you have, she’s the principal.” Carmilla says and puts her hand on mine.

“You’re mom is the principal at Silas High? Our boss?”

“Yea, that explains a lot doesn’t it.”

“Oh my god, it does.”

“Yea, my brother Will and I are just not living up to her expectations of excellence and she takes it out on me the most because she got me the job at Silas and I think she just enjoys making me miserable. She has tried to control every part of my life since she took me in and I am so tired of it. That’s why I took the house from my birth mother’s estate. It was the quickest way to get out from under my mother’s control. She hates that I can make my own way and that I don’t need her for anything.”

“Wow, I am so sorry. I don’t know how you turned out to be so strong growing up like that. I admire you so much.”

“Thanks, cupcake. That’s why I’m really loving staying with you right now. I’m sorry if it’s an inconvenience but when I’m with you, I don’t have to worry about any of that. I can just live in the moment and forget about my past. Thank you for that. It means more to me than anything. You mean more to me than anything.”

“I am loving every moment I get to spend with you, it’s never a problem. You can stay over any time you want. Oh hey, take this exit. We’re close,” I say as I grab her hand and kiss her on the cheek.

I guide her down these back roads, some of them paved and some of them not. This place is so secluded and I think that’s part of why I like it. We finally pull up to the trail entrance that leads to the sinkhole. I am so excited that I can’t even wait for her to open the door for me. She’s not exactly happy about it, but she’s smiling because I’m so excited.

“You are too adorable right now, cutie.”

“Thanks, babe. Come on! I can hear the water!” I say, grabbing her hand and practically running down the trail.

After a few minutes of walking, we reach the edge of the sink hole. It’s so beautiful here, but I’m more interested in Carmilla’s reaction. While most people would be staring down into this beautiful sight, I can’t help but watch her. As she looks around and takes everything in. I can see her face light up with wonder and awe. I remember what it was like the first time I saw this place and I’m reliving it though her right now.

“Well, what do you think?” I ask her.

“It’s perfect.” She turns to me and I think I see tears in her eyes. I did it again. I brought her somewhere that makes her upset and I can’t do anything right. Way to go, Hollis.

“Are you ok? Did I upset you?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m just so blown away by this. It’s such a beautiful disaster. How can something that is created under such tragic circumstances like a giant hole opening up in the earth, transform into something so beautiful and peaceful? This is just another reminder that I’m going to be ok. Thank you for bringing me here, Laura.”

She hugs me tightly and kisses me on top of the head. My feelings for this woman are really starting to become stronger and I am completely ok with it. This is all happening so fast but I don’t want to slow down. I can’t imagine life without her.

“Come with me,” I say as I take her hand and lead her to a set of stairs. There is a set of stairs attached to the edge of the sinkhole, spiraling all the way down to the bottom. This is really what I wanted her to see. Carmilla seems a little uneasy, but I give her a reassuring smile and she follows me. Once we get to the bottom of the stairs, a long way down I might add, I lead her over to my favorite spot. There is a huge boulder right next to where the water fall hits the ground before the water pools down into an underground cavern that is accessible only by a crack in the floor if the sinkhole. If I really think about it, it’s probably not safe to spend that much time down here, but it’s so beautiful I can’t help it. The power of the falling water and the peaceful isolation is enough to make me forget about my problems for just a little while. Any time I’m dealing with a crisis, this seems to be where I need to go to work through it.

I sit down on the rock and pull Carmilla over to me. She sits down behind be with her legs and arms around me. Just when I thought that this place couldn’t get any better, I’m sitting here being held by the woman I love. Wait... I couldn’t possible love her yet. I’ve only known her for a few days and this is impossible. Carmilla squeezes her arms tighter around me and rests her chin on my shoulder, rubbing her cheek against mine. Oh my god, maybe I do love her. I couldn’t possibly tell her yet. I’m not sure about it myself and I definitely don’t want to scare her away.

“Thanks for coming here with me. I really wanted to show it to you. I thought you might like it,” I say and turn my head so I can see her.

“I love it here, thank you. But it’s getting kind of late and we should head back. Don’t you think?” She says and I know she’s right.

We reluctantly get up and make out long trip back to the car. Between all the stairs and the trail, it takes us an exhausting hour to make it back. We climb in the car and set course for home, I mean my apartment. I guess I fell asleep on the way home because I’m woken by a sweet kiss on the lips when we’re in front of my place. Carmilla had taken my seat belt off and had the door open already. She offered to carry me because I’m so tired, but I insist on making my own way inside.

We get inside and just barely make it to the couch. Carmilla stopped for food and I am so grateful because I couldn’t imagine cooking or even waiting for delivery. I am famished but too tired to really do anything about it. We eat a quick meal of salad and flat bread and Carmilla clears the dishes for me. I could really get used to her taking care of me and that almost makes me feel little guilty.

I go to the washroom and draw a hot bath. That sounds so good right now and I hope that Carm feels the same. She finishes up the dishes and eventually finds me.

As I’m adding different soaps and oils to the water to make it perfect, she eventually speaks up “What are you doing in here?”

“I really want to take a bath right now. Do you want to join me?”

“I was hoping you would ask,” she says as she begins to undress.

Carmilla climbs into the tub and leans back, making room for me to climb in with her. I sit down and lean back against her, putting my hands on her legs and melting into her. She wraps one arm over my shoulder and the other around my waist, making me feel safe and loved. We sit there in silence for the longest time, just enjoying each other’s presence.

She then takes one of her hands out of the water and pushes my hair away from my neck. In between light kisses to the side of my neck and a little bit of ear nibbling she tells me “thank you for today. I’m not used to being treated like that.”

“Thank you for coming with me,” I say as I grip the side of the tub because what she’s doing to me is making me feel some type of way.

“I’ll go anywhere with you, Laura.” She says this as her hand slides down into the water and in between my legs. This makes my body shake which splashes some water over the side of the tub and onto the floor. She uses her other arm to grip me tighter and she starts moving her fingers even faster. It doesn’t take me very long because I have honestly been fighting this orgasm off since this morning and I crash down all around her, water splashing everywhere and Carmilla holding onto me while I moan uncontrollably.

“Wow, cupcake.”

Once I am able to speak again I say “yea, you’re pretty good at that.”

“Only for you. I hope you’ve got one more in you,” she says and begins to stand up and lift me out of the tub.

She leads me back to the bedroom and lays me down so softly, I can feel how much she really cares for me. With one hand on my stomach and the other tangled up in my hair, she kisses me and is humming in happiness. These slow circles she’s drawing on my stomach are too much for me to handle and I flip her over. As I begin to kiss her I slide my hand in between her legs to get her ready for what I really want to do to her. Carmilla’s hips begin moving with the rhythm of my hand and I can tell it’s the perfect time.

I climb on top of her, picking up her leg and putting her ankle on my shoulder. I press myself against her and the friction is amazing. I grab her leg with my left hand and brace myself with my other and start moving my hips slowly and deliberately. With every touch, we are climbing together toward the perfect climax and I want this to last but I can’t stop. This feels so good and I want her to feel the same way. She grips onto me even harder, scratching me a bit and that makes me even hotter. We start jerking our hips harder and harder and then we’re there. We both scream out each other's names and I collapse down onto her chest. With our legs wrapped in each others and her arms around me, all we can do is focus on holding onto each other while we catch our breath.

Minutes later, we’re still laying in the same position. Carmilla is softly stroking my hair and I feel myself beginning to fall asleep. I lift up my head and look her in the eye.

“Hey, Carm?”

“Yea, cupcake?

“Thank you for everything today. It was perfect.”

“I should be the one thanking you. I have been an actual wreck lately and you seem to be the only person that can make me forget about it all,” she says while rolling us over so that we’re laying side by side.

“I wish I could take it all away from you, but I know that I can’t. I’m glad to distract you any time you want though,” I say as I lean in for a kiss and linger a bit longer than I probably should.

“I think I would like that very much,” she says and kisses me back. “But, we both start school in about a week and we have a lot to do before then. I’m going to help you with whatever you want me to, but we did need to actually sleep some time,” she says, waking me from my stare.

“Sorry, you’re just really hot and you’re the one distracting me right now.”

This makes her laugh and lean back onto the pillow. She sits back up and says “oh cupcake, I can tell that you’re going to be trouble. It’s a good thing that I like trouble. Let’s go to sleep.”

I unenthusiastically agree and roll over to plug my phone in to the charger. I notice that LaF texted me a while ago. Whoops.

“Hey L, Perry and I really want to get to know your new girl. Lunch tomorrow?”

I put the phone down for a second and turn to Carm, who was busy plugging in her phone as well.

“Hey, my friends that you met last night want to have lunch tomorrow. Are you ok with meeting up with them?"

“Yea, I suppose we can do that. They’re not going to ask me a million questions are they?” Carmilla says while rolling over to look at me.

“LaF has the tendency to be a little inquisitive, but I will keep her at at distance. It would be cool if you two got along.”

“Ok, sweetheart. I’ll do it for you,” Carmilla says with a big smile on her face.

“Yes!” I say as I practically jump across the bed to kiss her. I roll away just as quickly to text LaF to tell her we’re coming and I think that left Carmilla hanging.

I type out my response to LaF quickly. “Hey, just tell me when and where. Carmilla and I will be there. See you then.”

I hit send, put my phone on the night stand and roll back into Carmilla’s arms. This is most definitely my favorite place in the world. “Thank you for agreeing to lunch tomorrow. It really means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, Laura.”

I want to tell her that I love her, it’s on the tip of my tongue but I just can’t. I’m afraid that she may not feel the same way and I don’t want to ruin this. I have never been this happy. I just stretch up to her and kiss her sweetly, wrapping my arms around her and then laying my head on her chest.

“You mean a lot to me too, Carm” I say as I shiver under her touch. The gentle strokes of her hand through my hair and the warm embrace of her body around mine makes me feel safe and we drift off to sleep together.


	6. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's first day at the new job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that's reading this! I'm really sorry it's taken so long to update. Life has been super crazy. I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

These last few days I’ve spent with Carm have been a whirlwind. The time we spent together after going on that little road trip felt like a dream. We mainly just laid in bed, trying to forget about the world and all the problems it brings to our lives focusing on only each other. Carmilla cannot seem to keep her hands off me and I am perfectly ok with that. We have spent our time watching our favorite movies, eating takeout, taking a lot of naps and just laying around. I still can’t believe that she hadn’t seen Twister before I made her watch it. I know that romantic dramas may not be her favorite, but who doesn’t like 90’s aesthetic Helen Hunt in a tank top? I mean, that scene after she gets out of the shower at Aunt Meg’s house and she’s getting dressed is one of the moments that confirmed my sexuality when I was younger. Even broody gay Carmilla had to admit that it’s a great movie.

It’s now Sunday, the day before I start my first day at Silas. We won’t have any students until the week after, but I have so much to do to get ready for my first class. I mean, I had an internship during my last semester of University and I was able to teach almost every day, but this is different. I’m really starting to get nervous because I have never done this on my own before. If I screw up, it’s not only me that’s affected. I am responsible for shaping the minds of the next generation. If I am not able to inspire them and get them to really love literature like I do, I’m really scared for the future. Could you imagine a world without, Keats, Hemingway, Faulkner, Shakespeare, Austen, Yeats, Blake, Shelley, King, Woolf or Poe? I don’t want to live in that world and it’s my responsibility to make sure that these kids learn to love the greatest authors of the past and to hopefully inspire a few future authors. I know I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself, but this has been my dream since I was a little girl and I’m not ready to give up.

Carm and I decided that it was probably a good idea that she went home for tonight. It’s not that I didn’t want her to stay, it’s just that we both had a lot to do tomorrow and we’re trying to be grown-ups or something. I can’t say that I’m thrilled with the decision, but I’m going with it. I don’t really know what it is about Carmilla, but it’s like I’m drawn to her. When I’m not with her, I feel cold and empty, like the only thing that will save me from impending hypothermia is the warmth of her embrace. I haven’t known her very long but I feel like I’m addicted to her voice, her scent, her touch. I wonder what she’s doing right now. Probably sitting on her balcony and reading her second book of the day. I swear sometimes that she could shut the entire world out and create an entirely new one within her head driven by the words on each page that she turns so deliberately. I have never met someone that enjoys reading in the way that Carmilla does.

My phone vibrates and it’s a text from her. “Hey cutie, I was just ordering some food and I thought that you might be hungry too. Do you want me to have the delivery person bring you something?”

She can really be thoughtful sometimes. She would probably roll her eyes if I ever told her that though. Play it cool, Hollis.

“Actually, that sounds nice. Thanks.”

“What do you want? I’m getting Italian food.”

“Surprise me.”

 “I think I can handle that. The food should be there within half an hour. See you later, cutie.”

“Thanks, Carm. I owe you.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

I put my phone down and quickly realize that I’m blushing like an idiot. Here I am, sitting alone in my apartment and I feel like my heart is going to burst because of a few text messages about food delivery. I mean, I am a grown up woman and I feel like a kid having my very first crush. This is ridiculous. Since I already have everything I need for school packed in my car, I’ll clean up the apartment so I can come home to a clean house tomorrow after work. I have been so busy spending time with Carmilla, that I haven’t exactly been keeping up with my chores and I have some catching up to do.

After I change into some old shorts and a tank top, I go over to my laptop to find the right music for the occasion. After rotating the laundry, cleaning the kitchen counters and putting away the dishes, I’m ready to tackle the floor. The dark hardwood floor I have throughout my apartment is one of my favorite things about it, but it really sucks to clean. It has to be done so I put on my battle socks, pick up the broom and just went for it. As I’m finishing the daunting task of sweeping this floor that seems to go on forever, one of my favorite songs comes on over the speakers. I start to sing along I can’t help but think of Carmilla.

“ _Fading in, fading out_

_On the edge of paradise_

_Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I’ve got to find_

_Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire._

 

_Yea, I’ll let you set the pace_

_‘Cause I’m not thinking straight_

_My head’s spinning around I can’t see clear no more_

 

_What are you waiting for?”_

Now here I am. Standing in the middle of my kitchen and I can’t move. I am so overwhelmed with emotion and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the way the song builds and it’s really emotional or maybe it’s because I miss Carm a little bit and the combination of the two is making me feel almost like I have vertigo. I let myself fall against the counter to take a little pressure off and I just ride the rest of the song out. It has always amazed me how music can have a physical effect on you if you truly connect with it. It can be the most exhilarating and exhausting experience. Just as I’m coming back to reality, the doorbell rings. It must be the food, which is probably a good idea right now.

“Hold on a sec!” I say as I run to my room to grab some cash for a tip. I run back to the door and by the time I open it, I’m a bit breathless.

“Happy to see me, cupcake?” Carmilla says as she’s standing there with a bag that I presume is holding some food for the both of us. She has the biggest smile on her face and I just want to kiss it.

“Oh crap, I must look awful. I was just cleaning and I wasn’t expecting you and… yes, I’m very happy to see you. What are you doing here? I thought we decided to spend the night at our own houses?” I say as I open the door a bit wider and gesture for her to come in and she does.

“Well cutie, you said to surprise you so I thought I would deliver your food myself, but I can go if you really want me to. You look great by the way.”

She can be really sarcastic sometimes. I play along and act offended some times to mess with her, but I really love it. I stand up on my toes to give her a sweet kiss.

“You should stay for dinner” I say against her lips, grabbing the bag out of her hand before she realizes what I’ve done. I run over to the kitchen counter to inspect the contents of the bag, leaving Carmilla standing there. I really love teasing her sometimes.

“What did you get me?”

“I got enough alfredo with spinach and tomato for us to share. I hope that’s ok because it’s my favorite and I can never eat it all” she says while walking over and leaning against the counter next to me.

“Sounds great, thank you. I’m still surprised that you’re here. Couldn’t stay away?” I say to her and then turn to get some plates from my cabinet. Just as I reach up onto my toes to get the plates, I feel Carmilla wrap her arms around my waist and rest her chin on my shoulder. I tense up at the unexpected touch at first but it just feels so good to be held like this and I relax, forgetting about the plates.

“No, I couldn’t. I don’t know what you’re doing to me Laura but I needed to see you.”

I slid back down onto my heels and turned around to face her. She gently wrapped herself around me, picking me up to set me onto the counter and settled herself in between my legs. I wrapped my arms around her neck and she wrapped hers around my waist and we just held each other for a moment. She gripped onto me as if she were fire and I were oxygen. I don’t dare try to let go first because I think she needs to be held and I will do that as long as she needs me to.

After a minute or so, Carmilla pulls back and looks down at her left hand, which had moved on top of mine on the counter. Pulling my hand from underneath hers, I lightly grab her chin and bring her eyes up to meet mine. She looks so lost. It’s like I can see every bit of pain and angst in her eyes. She looks broken, maybe even scared.

“I’m glad you’re here and thank you for dinner.” I move my hand to her cheek and run my thumb along her cheekbone.

“I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.” I said to her as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and then put my hand back on hers.

Out of nowhere she smiled like a huge dork. It was one of those genuine Carmilla smiles that only happens every now and then. I can’t help but mirror her enthusiasm as her smiles are infectious. My god she is so beautiful and she’s mine. She leaned in to kiss me and grabbed my face in her hands. This kiss was intense; thick with passion and electricity. I wrapped my arms around her neck and my legs around her back and pulled her as close to me as I could because I need her as badly as she needs me right now.

We eventually pull apart, just in time to take a much needed breath. Carmilla moved one hand down to my leg and reached up and grabbed two plates from behind me all while leaning up to kiss me on the forehead. She can be pretty smooth sometimes and it’s pretty impressive to be honest. She walked over to the bag and started taking the food containers out.

She fixed us both a plate of pasta, salad and bread while I poured both of us a glass of wine. We sat at my dinner table eating, drinking, and talking about what we wanted to do next weekend while we were off work. It’s the last weekend before we have students for 180 days. It would be great to get away with Carm and relax a bit, even if it’s for one night. We decided to go on an overnight trip. Not sure of where we’re going yet, but it’s not really important where we go as long as we’re going together.

We finish up our dinner and I take our plates to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher. When I come back from the kitchen, Carmilla is putting her coat back on like she’s going to leave.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yea cutie, I should probably go home. It’s your big day tomorrow and I don’t want to mess anything up. You get your rest.”

I walk over to her and say “You don’t have to go. You can stay tonight. I will make sure that we both make it to school on time.”

“I usually get pretty nervous on first day of school eve and you don’t need to deal with that. I’m going to go. I would love to stay, but I can’t. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Yes, I’ll meet you in the parking lot at 7:15. Thank you again for dinner” I say as I lean in for a kiss and then hug her. She squeezes me harder than usual, but lets me go quickly and turns for the door.

“Bye, cupcake.”

“Good night, Carm.”

I close the door behind her and instinctively lock it, lingering a bit longer than usual because I want her to stay. There’s something bothering her and I want to help her, but I’m not going to push her to tell me. I wish she would have stayed, but she knows what’s best for her

I took a shower and I must have been in there for an hour and a half. The water was scalding hot and I let it melt away all the fear and worry I have about school tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll be nervous in the morning, but I feel great right now. This last week has been incredible and honestly one of the best weeks of my life. When I’m with Carmilla, I don’t have any expectations I have to live up to. I can just be myself and not have to act like some professional version of myself. I love spending time with her and I really hope she feels the same way.

* * *

 

It’s 7:12 am and I’m sitting in the Silas parking lot. I think the email Carm forwarded to me said that the faculty meeting is in the Cafeteria so I parked over there to wait for her. She is the only person I know here besides the Ms. Spielsdorf and Principal Morgan and I don’t see myself sitting with either of them during this meeting so I want to wait for Carmilla before I go inside. Maybe she will ease this horrible anxiety I’m feeling right now. I need her to because there’s no way in hell or Hogwarts that I’m going to throw up on the first day.

I see her car pull in the parking lot at 7:19. Leave it to her to be a little late. The meeting doesn’t start until 7:30, so I won’t make a big deal about it. I just have this thing about being early to things, but I can see now that being early is definitely not one of her things but she’s trying. By the time I get my bag from the trunk and lock my car, she is standing behind me. She’s dressed in black skinny jeans and a black tank top with an olive green jacket.

“I suddenly feel a little over-dressed” I say to her in my dark grey dress pants and light pink short-sleeve button-down shirt. Luckily, I opted for flats instead of heels knowing that I will be moving things around so it could have been worse.

“Sorry, creampuff. I forgot to tell you that nobody really dresses up for teacher work week. However, you look incredible and you will make a great first impression with your colleagues. I promise,” Carmilla says as she hands me a cup of coffee.

“Thank you for the coffee,” I say and kiss her on the cheek. “That’s all you get from me for now. We’re at work and we can’t be kissing each other here.”

“Damn.”

“Let’s go, grumpy pants”

Carmilla opens up the door to the cafeteria and I walk in ahead of her. There are probably over a hundred people in here and I have no idea where to sit. Luckily, Carmilla tells me to follow her and she leads me to a table where a few people are already sitting and motions for me to sit down next to her. Sitting at the table are three women who look thrilled to see Carmilla. The super tall girl reaches up for a hug and Carmilla returns it.

“Laura, this is Danny Lawrence. She’s a P.E. teacher and the women’s basketball coach. Danny, this is Laura Hollis, she’s our new literature and journalism teacher” Carmilla says.

“Hi! It’s really nice to meet you. Welcome to Silas. This is Sarah Jane, she teaches Chorus and Elsie here teaches Reading and study hall” Danny says while reaching her hand out to shake my hand.

“Hi everyone, it’s really nice to meet you. Thank you,” I say as I wave to everyone and then shake Danny’s strong ass hand. Geez.

“Is this your first teaching job?” Danny asks.

“Yea, why do you ask?” I say.

“You just look so young and you’re very pretty” Danny says and then looks over to Carmilla.

Carmilla put her hand on my lower back, rubbing it gently for a moment but then quickly withdrew. I think she got a bit jealous and forgot where we were for a moment, but she’d never admit it.

“I’m 23, but I know what I’m doing. I received a great education and I’m ready share my knowledge with the students here” I say with a big smile on my face in order to come across as sincere.

“Well Karnstein, your friend here seems pretty cool. Where did you find her?” Elsie interjects.

“We ran into each other in the front office one day,” Carmilla says and then looks at me with a tiny smile on her face.

The principal steps up to the podium over in the corner of the cafeteria and begins to speak into a microphone. “Good morning everyone! I hope you had a great summer and got plenty of rest because we have over 3,000 students coming here on Monday and we need to be ready. For everyone that’s new, I am Lolita Morgan, the Principal here at Silas High. Welcome to our family. On your tables there are a number of hand-outs that you all need to make sure to pick up and don’t forget to sign-in over by the front door. You should have all received a schedule of all meetings being held this week. Be sure to attend all of them and sign-in so that you will receive the correct amount of in-service points for your certification renewal. Today, there is only a new teacher meeting at 10 and a meeting about the new Biology EOC at 2. Only those who meet the criteria for those meetings need to attend, the rest of you may work in your classrooms until 2:00 with a one hour lunch. All new teachers should report to our assistant principal Mr. Vordenberg in the front office for classroom assignments and keys. Please enjoy a light breakfast provided by Ms. Spielsdorf and the SGA before returning to your classrooms. Thank you and welcome back.”

Everyone applauds the principal’s speech and quickly jumps up to get in line for breakfast. Wow, these people are seriously hungry. I get up with Carmilla and the rest of our table to get in line. After waiting a few minutes. I’m able to fix a plate of some mixed fruit and a bagel with some orange juice. I sit at the table quietly eating while everyone around me catches up and spilled details of their summer adventures. Apparently Danny likes to travel and she has a lot to talk about. Carmilla just mainly listened to the three girls go on and on, but made sure to look over at me every once and a while to make sure I was ok. I can only smile because I really don’t know these people and I don’t know what to say.

We finish up our meal and part ways with the three amigos. Carmilla asks if I want her to go to the office with me, but I tell her I can handle it. She has enough of her own work to do.

I’m standing in Mr. Vordenberg’s office and it smells like a mixture of incense and moth balls. He’s a little weird, but seems very straight forward and nice enough.

“Name? SAP Number?” He says while looking at his computer monitor.

“Um, hi, I’m Laura Hollis. SAP number 24601.”

“Ah, Ms. Hollis, our new Literature teacher. Tell me Ms. Hollis, was it Hemingway, Austen or Yeats that made you fall in love first?” he says as he peers over his glasses to look at me for the first time.

I can’t help but smile. “Hemingway, sir.”

“I should have known. That says a lot about you, dear. You will do just fine here.” He reaches into the cabinet that sits on the side of his desk and pulls out a set of keys and hands them to me. “You’ll be in room 307 over in Q wing. Most of the teachers in there are nice so you will have plenty of help. I’m also here if you need anything. Make sure you’re at the new teacher meeting in the Library at 10. It was nice to meet you Ms. Hollis.”

“Thank you, it was nice to meet you as well.”

“Here is a welcome packet from the administration. Bring this to the meeting with you. There is a map in here that should help you get around,” he says while extending his hand to shake mine.

I shake his hand, thank him again and make my way around the campus to find my classroom. I want to find it first and then I’ll move my car around later to move everything in. I can’t believe this is real. I’ve been waiting for this for so many years and now I have the keys in my hand. Here we go. Q wing. All the other teacher’s doors are decorated except for mine and that one at the end of the… wait a minute, Carmilla’s classroom is right down the hall from mine. We teach in the same building. I honestly don’t know how this could get any better. I’m pretty nervous about starting this job, but it makes me feel so much better to know that she will be so close to me.

I quickly unlock the door and rush inside. When I turn the lights on, it reveals room gleaming with potential. Yea, the walls may be barren at the moment, but they’re a canvas for my student’s work to me. There’s a desk for me at the corner. All the tables and chairs are stacked in the back of the room. I will research the best way to set up my furniture later. Right now I want to go see Carmilla.

I’m making my way down the hallway and I see that her door is now propped open. As I walk into her room, I see her sitting at her desk with Elsie standing there talking to her. Their conversation immediately stops when I walk in and to be honest it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

“Hey, cupcake” Carmilla says as soon as she sees me.

“Hey” I say and look nervously over at Elsie.

“See you round, Karnstein. It’s nice to see you again, Laura” Elsie says as she turns to go back to her classroom.

“Bye” we say in unison and turn to look at each other.

“Guess what?” I exclaim as I practically hop over to her.

“What?” she says as the crosses her legs and raises an eyebrow.

“I’m teaching over in 307, in the same building as you.”

“I was hoping you would get put over here with us. We have a pretty great thing going on in this building and I want you to have a good experience your first year. I’m glad, cutie.”

“I’m glad, too. I should be out of my meeting by 11. Do you want to get some lunch with me?” I say, aching for contact but I know that I can’t. We’re at work.

“Yea, meet me by my car and I’ll take you somewhere great” she says while looking at me like she wants to eat me.

I move a little closer to her. “Ok, it’s a date. Well, I have to go move my car and carry some boxes in. See you at lunch?”

Looking up she says “let me help you with the boxes, buttercup.”

“I can handle it.”

“I know you can, but I want to help you. Please?”

“Ok, fine. Meet me outside in a few minutes?” I say, putting my hands on my hips.

“It’s a date.”

I head back over to the cafeteria parking lot to get my car. On the way there, I start to think about how distracting it may be to have Carmilla working so close to me. When she’s at my apartment, I forget about all my household chores, ignore my phone completely, and just shut everything out. Knowing that she’s 25 feet from me might be a problem, but I have a job to do and I can’t allow her intoxicating presence cloud my judgement. I finally get to my car and move it over to a space right behind my building. Carmilla is already standing there waiting for me. She has the trunk open and has grabbed the first box before I even get out of the car.

“Thanks, Carm.”

“You’re welcome, cutie. Now grab a box, I’m not doing this by myself” she says and then winks while walking inside. I grab a box and run in after her.

We finished carrying in all of my things and she grabs a chair for herself from the back of the room and I sit down in my desk chair. We sat for a few moments, just resting from carrying in all the boxes full of books. I may have been a little excessive with how much of my book collection I brought with me, but I’m a literature teacher. I can’t have too many books, right?

“This is a nice little space you have here, Laura. I’m happy for you” Carmilla says with a voice brimming with sincerity.

“Thank you for everything. I don’t think I would be here right now if it weren’t for you.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You earned this. I’m just glad I can be here with you” Carm says and moves her chair a little closer to mine.

“I’m really glad you’re here too.” I look up at the clock hanging by the door. “Oh crap, I have to get to that meeting. See you soon?” I say as I jump out of my chair.

“Definitely.”

I lean in to kiss her, but stop short, remembering where we are. Carmilla smiles knowing that I want her just as badly as she wants me and I grab my things and run out of the room before we get into trouble.

I navigate my way through campus to the Library and walk in to find a familiar face sitting at one of the tables.

“LaFontaine! What are you doing here?” I say as I get over to their table and sit down.

“Oh wow, L. You are alive! Perr and I were starting to wonder if you and Carmilla were ever going to see the light of day again,” they say and shove me on the arm.

“Yea, I’m sorry we keep skipping out on lunch. I just… we just…”

“I know, you don’t have to say it. I can’t say that I didn’t feel the same way when Perry and I officially got together. Make it up to us by going to dinner with us tonight. I won’t take no for an answer.”

“I’ll have to ask Carmilla, but I’m sure it will be fine. I’m sorry, LaF. Anyway, you never answered my question. What are you doing here?”

“Oh yea, I didn’t want to tell anyone in case it didn’t go through, but I finally finished my degree and I’m teaching Biology here.”

“Really? This is amazing! Now I have you and Carmilla here with me. This really can’t get any better. Congratulations, LaF!”

“Thanks, frosh. Hopefully this meeting won’t take too long. Perry’s bringing me lunch. Do you want to join us?”

“Maybe next time, Carmilla and I are getting something.”

“Of course you are.”

 

* * *

 

The meeting lasts for approximately an hour with about five minutes to spare. We learn about faculty procedures, school rules, and other basic information. There will be rotating meetings on Wednesday to learn specifics and receive more training. This was more like a welcome meeting than anything.

I stopped by my classroom to make sure that it’s locked up and quickly make my way to the parking lot to find Carmilla. She moved her car next to mine and I jump in the passenger seat.

“How was your meeting?” she says while putting her sunglasses on.

“Boring, let’s go eat.”

“Sounds good to me, cupcake.”

We drive through different neighborhoods. Everywhere you look kids playing outside; trying to squeeze out every possible ounce of their quickly evaporating summer. Carmilla and I pull up to a little shack on the side of the main highway. In the middle of all these major businesses, sits this trailer with a bunch of picnic tables outside with red umbrellas.

“I know it looks sketchy, but they have the best burrito bowls in the world. Trust me,” she says with pure excitement on her face.”

“Ok, let’s go” I say and she leans over to kiss me. She pulls away to open her door and I grab her cheek to pull her into another kiss. I can’t help it. That first one just wasn’t enough. I’m so happy today and I have her to thank for everything. I kiss her slowly and deliberately, running my tongue along her bottom lip and caressing her cheek. I love the way she tastes.

We finally pull apart and she says “are you ready now?” with a huge smile on her face.

“Yes,” I laugh.

We go up to the window and order our food. Carm hands me two cups to fill up while she waits for the food. I go over to the drink machine under this awning and pour us each a Sprite with a lot of ice. It’s hot out today and that seemed like a good choice. I grab utensils and extra napkins and find us a table. By the time I get everything wiped off and ready, Carmilla is there with our food. She was right, the food was delicious and I didn’t realize how hungry I was.

“Well, are you having a good day so far, cupcake?”

“Yes, actually. I didn’t tell you yet, but my friend LaFontaine is starting as a Biology teacher at Silas too. Now I have both of you there and that makes me feel a lot better.”

“That’s great, sweetheart. What do you mean you feel better? Are you still nervous?” She asks and moves around the bench to be close to me.

“Yea, a little bit. I just feel like I’m behind, but I don’t know where to start. I’m just a little overwhelmed is all. I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll figure everything out, don’t worry so much. I’ll help you discern what you actually need to do this week and what can wait. Maybe that will ease your stress a bit,” Carmilla says while putting her arm around me and kissing me on the side of my head.’

“That would help a lot actually. I don’t know what I would do without you anymore” I say as I move my head slightly so that I can look at her. She tilts her head and leans in to kiss me. My hand instinctively moves up to her neck and I hold her tight.

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Let’s finish up eating so we can finish up at school and go back to your place.”

“Actually, since we have been cancelling on my friends for days now, I promised LaF that we would meet them and Perry for dinner tonight. Will you go with me please?”

“Alright, as long as I get you alone to myself at the end of the night.”

“Deal.”

We finish our lunch and got back in the car to head back to school. Neither of us have any more meetings today so we decided to help each other set up furniture. I made sure to text LaF to confirm our dinner and we decided on 7:00 at our favorite diner. They seriously have the best cookies in the entire world. I would never admit that to my old boss at the bakery, but Mama Klaus at the diner knows her sweets.

Carmilla and I work for the next couple of hours moving tables, desks and chairs. She helped me hang up some posters and framed things in my classroom and I helped her do the same. It was honestly a really nice afternoon. She said that we would sit down tomorrow morning and make a to-do list for ourselves of the documents we need to get together and everything else we need to prepare for the first week of school. I am so glad that I have her here to help me. I would be completely lost otherwise.

I head back to my room to finish up somethings before we head back to my apartment. Looking around my first classroom, I can’t help but be filled with hope for the future. I am going to be good at this, I know it. I have worked too hard to fail. I can’t wait to really get started. I lock up some personal items in my desk, turn out the light and close the door behind me. As I turn around to lock the door, I see Principal Morgan walking out of Carmilla’s classroom in a hurry. When she sees me, her body tightens up and she gives me a nod before walking out the door.

I lock the door and go to check on Carmilla. She’s sitting at her desk and looking straight ahead at the back of the room. She is so dazed that she doesn’t even notice me walk in. I don’t really know what this woman has done to her, but I know every time Carmilla even thinks of her, she suddenly appears defeated. I close the door behind me quietly and walk over and stand directly next to her, sliding my hand across her shoulders and down her back. This pulls her out of whatever world she was trapped in and she matches my affection by wrapping her arm around the back of my legs and pulling me close.

“Can we go home?” she asked while pressing her head onto my stomach.

“Ready when you are,” I say, stepping back to give her room to stand. She locks up her classroom and we walk to our cars together.

“Ok, I’m going to swing by my place to grab some things. Is it ok of I stay over for a few days? I don’t really want to be at home right now.”

“Of course, I’ll meet you at my place when you get there,” I say as sit down in the driver’s seat of my car.

“Sure, cupcake. See you in a little while.”

“See you soon,” I say as close the door and shoot her a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 will be posted very soon. Dinner with LaFerry. :)
> 
> Follow me at 2edge4u.tumblr.com and lets be friends!
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you!!!


	7. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Told from Carmilla's POV. She and Laura finally go to dinner with LaFerry!

Getting into my car, I can’t help but feel especially grateful for Laura today. The first day back is always the worst for me. I always have some anxiety at work because of mother’s micro-managing and unreasonable expectations, but it’s usually worse for me at the beginning of the year. I feel like I’ve given this girl every reason to run, but for some reason she never pulls away. I’m usually much better about hiding my insecurities, but something about Laura breaks down my walls and she can see right through me. It’s honestly a little scary to be this vulnerable with someone. Yea, of course I’ve dated people before but it was never like it is with her. Laura is different and I feel like I don’t deserve her. She is too good for someone like me.

On the drive back to my house, I get a call from my brother.

“Hey, kitty”

“What can I do for you, fresh meat?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m back in town. Kirsch told me you came by the restaurant and I’m sorry that I missed you. He said you brought a little nerd hottie with you. Do you have a new girlfriend I don’t know about or something?”

“Yea, actually. I do. You didn’t tell me you were leaving town. Everything ok?”

“Yea, everything’s fine. It was something for school. Back to you though. Who is this girl? When do I get to meet her?”

“Um, her name is Laura. You can meet her when I’m ready to introduce you. I want to make sure that I don’t mess this up before I start introducing her to people.”

“Wow, fine then. Sounds like you really like her. I’m really happy for you, kitty.”

“I really do like her, and I think she feels the same. It’s kind of weird.”

“Yea, well, bring her by the restaurant some time. I want to meet her when you’re ready. Good to talk to you, kitty.”

“Yea, I will. Later,” I say as I hang up and throw my phone in the center console as I’m pulling into my driveway. It’s a really good thing that this house is paid for because I really don’t like to be here unless I have to so paying a mortgage or rent would be annoying. Because of mother’s brilliant parenting skills, I hate the feeling of being alone. Although Will and I grew up together, we were constantly isolated from each other and everyone else in the world. There was not one day of the week that I didn’t have some kind of lesson or scheduled activity late into the evening. Mother had to make sure that we were constantly training for a career in which we would ultimately let her down anyway. Nothing will ever be good enough for her. Nothing.

I gather up a bag with some clothes, hygiene things, a few movies and my laptop. I promised Laura that I would help her with some lesson plans and things and I intend to follow through with it. Every day with her may feel like a vacation, but I will make time for the important stuff because I know she gets stressed easily. I quickly lock up my house, set the alarm and head for Laura’s apartment. She’s probably starting to wonder why I never want her to come to my house and I always want to go to hers. There have been so many moments when I feel like I’m ready to open up to her, but something just stops me. There’s a part of me that will always believe what mother taught me growing up and I guess I just don’t feel like I’m worth it. I’m afraid if she finds out about the real me that she’ll leave. They always do.

Alright, it’s time to get myself together and just have a relaxing night with my girlfriend. Forget about what mother said this afternoon and push it deep down so you can deal with it later. I take a deep breath and sigh heavily as I pull into the parking lot for Laura’s apartment. I really just want to stay here with her all night and watch movies, but she really wants me to meet her friends and I pretty much always give in to what she wants to do. I may come across as intimidating to most people, but I’m a big sap when it comes to Laura. I can’t help it.

She opens the door before I even get the chance to ring the doorbell. I’m pretty sure she’s been waiting for me. I stopped to get a juice so it took a bit longer than usual to get here.

“Hey!” Laura says with a worried smile on her face.

“Hey cupcake, you look great.”

“What? I’m just wearing sweat pants and a tank top,” she says with a bunched up face. Damn, she’s adorable. “Come in.”

I kiss her in between her eyes and she relaxes her face and smiles. I don’t think I could ever get tired of looking at her. I feel like I’m staring sometimes, but I don’t really care. I walk into her apartment and go straight to her bedroom to set down my things. Laura doesn’t follow me so I take the opportunity to freshen up in the bathroom. I feel really weighed down today so I splash some water on my face hoping to wake myself up. I have to socialize with people tonight and I need to be awake for that.

Just when I turn around to head back to the living room, I see Laura standing in the doorway watching me. She’s leaning against the door frame and she’s let her hair down from that messy bun she had when I walked in.

“Hey cutie, how long have you been standing there?”

“Not long enough,” Laura says and bites her lip. She doesn’t even realize when she’s doing that and it drives me crazy. It’s really not fair.

“Is that right?” I say as I grab her hand and pull her over to me, resting my hands on her hips.

She lays her body against mine, pushing me into the counter and pulls my head down into a kiss. I’ve never really been an affectionate person when it comes to relationships, it just wasn’t my thing. But with Laura, I can’t get enough of her and I’m going to kiss her whenever I want to and she can be all over me whenever she feels like it. I will never get tired of touching her.

I kiss her so softly and gently, rubbing circles with my hand on her lower back with my other hand tangled in her hair. I intentionally like to take my time with her. I know that she wants me to move faster most of the time and it drives her crazy. It’s in these moments that I find her the sexiest. She pushes herself into me, gripping me even harder, scratching me and I give her a gentle touch in return. She melts like a puddle in my hands and I know in that moment that she’s mine and I then give her exactly what she wants.

I pull away from her, letting my eyes flutter open to look into hers. Pulling her hand gently, I lead her over to her bed and we climb onto it, falling into each other. She rolls me on my back and hovers over me, letting her hair fall around me. The light that’s shining in through the window is piercing its way through her honey-brown hair and creating beautiful pattern on her skin. The bright light is making her squint a little bit and I can’t help but smile at how beautiful she is. She is the perfect combination of sexy, adorable, compassionate and kind. She’s perfect.

“What?” she says with a curious look on her face.

“Nothing, I just…”

“What? It’s ok, you can tell me. What were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about how lucky I am. You’re so beautiful.”

Laura throws her leg over me and moves so that she’s straddling my hips. She runs her hands down my arms and laces her fingers with mine, bringing her face inches from my own.

“I think that I’m the lucky one here, but we can work out the details after.”

“After what?” I say with a huge grin on my face.

Laura whips her hair over her right shoulder and brings her lips to meet mine. There is so much behind this kiss that has yet to be said out loud, but we’re saying it right now. The way that she’s gently holding on to my face and kissing me as if she might never see me again. The way I’m pulling her into me as if she were drifting away and I’m the only one who can save her. There are no words to describe this feeling, only action.

She suddenly pulls away and says “after this,” with a big smile.

 “Wait, don’t we have to meet your friends soon? We can’t be late now can we?” I say with a hint of sarcasm while I run my hands up and down her back.

“Well, we don’t have to meet them until 7, and it’s only 4:30 right now. I think we have enough ti-“

I don’t even allow her to finish her sentence before I flip her over on her back. She starts laughing and I swear to god that it’s my favorite sound in the world. I would do anything to hear her laugh. I settle in between her legs and look in to her eyes. Her bright, happy expression soon turns into one of desire and I swear I’m going to lose it. Using one hand, I brush her hair out of her face and behind her ear. I want to see every bit of her perfect skin and kiss every inch of it.

Starting with her jawline, I trail kisses to her ear, down her neck and eventually landing on her delicious collar bones. She’s beginning to squirm underneath me, slowly grinding her hips upward to meet mine. I sit up, take my shirt off and unbutton my pants. I’m usually make a bigger deal about foreplay, but I need her right now and there’s no time. I move back on the bed so I can take her sweatpants off and put my hands on the warm skin underneath. As I’m kissing the inside of her thigh, I slide my hands under her shirt to feel her perfectly toned stomach. Every part of her body is absolute perfection.

Crawling up the length of her body, I finally give her the kiss she’s been waiting for. I kiss her slow and push my thigh into her, making her gasp and grab on to my back. With each kiss, I push even harder and she’s beginning to moan and tremble beneath me. I roll over onto my back, pulling her on top of me. She slowly takes her shirt off, letting her hair fall down around her shoulders. I sit up, cradling her in my arms and begin to kiss her neck all while unclasping her bra and sliding it off of her.

I gently lay her down on her back and step off the bed. I slide my pants off and stand back up to look at this beautiful woman. In almost every situation, she is a bit awkward, shy and definitely too sweet for her own good. But laying here, she’s waiting for me with this raw, sexy confidence that I think she reserves for only me and that makes me want her even more.

Laura is laying on her bed, stripped of everything but these cute little blue panties that she has on today. She is on her back, with one hand behind her head and the other gripping the sheets next to her. She has one leg extended toward me and the other bent with her legs spread just enough. I crawl onto the bed and stop to hiver right over her stomach. I begin to kiss lightly on the area right below her belly button. Not wasting any time, I wove downward and lick on top of the fabric of her underwear, making her entire body convulse so I move my hands to her hips to help steady her. This is apparently teasing her a bit too much because she grabs my shoulders and pulls me up into a kiss. At first, she’s smiling but then kiss deepens into a needy cry for affection. I’ve made her wait long enough.

I slide my hands down her stomach and find her center, hot, wet and ready for me. I don’t know if Laura has ever been this turned on before and it’s making me want to work even harder. Just this initial contact makes her arch her back and her eyes disappear for a moment into the back of her head. Starting with slow and gentle movement of my fingers, she is already climbing toward release. Her body is reacting to me in the best way. Her breathing is ragged, interrupted only by the occasional moan and “Carm,” or “fuck…” She is gripping onto the sheets like her life depends on it and her body keeps bending and shaking.

Without any warning, I push two fingers inside of her while pushing down on her clit hard with my thumb. This makes her cry out and yet again, her fingernails find my back but I don’t mind. A little bit of pain is worth seeing Laura like this. I masterfully move my fingers in and out of her with the occasional upward pressure and it only takes a few minutes to make her come. This time was so intense, I thought she was going to break. Laura screamed my name so loud, that I bet her neighbors know it now. Her legs were shaking so hard so I just entwined mine with hers and held her until she rode this out and I felt her body relax.

Just when I thought that she would have been too tired to do anything, she flips me over.

“Your turn,” she says while sliding my underwear off.

“Is that right? I thought you would be too tired.”

“Oh, I am thanks to you. But if my memory serves me correctly, I owe you. Now, shut up and let me have my way with you.”

“If you insist.”

Laura gives me this smug little smile and gets right to the point. She settles herself in between my legs and starts licking me slowly, but applying a lot of pressure. She’s either figured out exactly how I like it, or she’s just really good at this because fuck me she’s good. She anchors herself to my hips and relentlessly moves her tongue around until I fall apart.

It’s in this moment right now, with her laying on top of me, covered in sweat, breathing heavily and holding me tight that I feel it for the first time. I love her. I love Laura. She may be way too good for me and I don’t know if she will ever feel the same way, but I love her. Every moment that I’m not with her, I want to be. Every time she looks at me, I feel fulfilled and every time she touches me I feel content. I don’t know how I’m going to tell her. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Oh god. She has to, right? She has to.

* * *

 

We’re pulling into the parking lot for this diner right at 7:00 and I swear Laura is going to have a fit. She has to be early to everything and I’m just not used to that. It’s just now 7:00, and we’re on time, but that’s not going to cut it with this girl.

This place doesn’t seem so bad. It’s one of those old fashioned diners with red and black checkered everything and stainless steel everywhere. However, instead of the typical 50’s Americana décor, the place is covered in commercialized Christmas vomit and I think it’s a year-round concept here. It’s not really a big deal as long as the food is good and Laura swears by it. When we walk toward the table where Laura’s friends are, I can’t help but feel a little uneasy. I’m not really good at meeting new people and I don’t want to let her down. I need to be on my best behavior tonight.

“Laura! Finally! How are you? It has been entirely too long since we’ve seen you,” one of them says as she runs up and kisses Laura on both cheeks. This one seems to be a bit uptight, but nice nonetheless.

“Hello Perry, I’m great thank you. Remember Carmilla?” Laura says to her as she wraps her arm around my waist.

“Oh yes, hello Carmilla. It’s lovely to see you again.”

“Uh, hi. Nice to see you,” I say to her with a half-smile.

“Hey Carmilla, thanks for finally letting Laura out of the bedroom long enough to have dinner with us,” Laura’s other friend says jokingly.

“LaFontaine!” Perry says while slapping them on the arm.

“Sorry, it was just kidding. L, it’s nice to see you and same to you Carmilla.”

“Great, now can we eat? I’m starving,” Laura says as she pulls me over to the table to sit down.

“I bet you are,” I whisper in her ear as the ginger twins are busy sitting down.

Laura looks at me with such a shocked expression. I love messing with her in public because she embarrasses so easily and it’s just so much fun. She replies by kissing me on the cheek so sweetly, completely disarming anything I may try next. If I’m going to be honest, she always wins because I may or may not be wrapped around her finger.

She settles herself right beside me, finds my hand and pulls it into her lap before she starts talking with her friends. I love it when she traces words on my palm and she knows it. They catch up on the last few weeks of their favorite tv shows before the waitress comes to take our order. I got some breakfast with extra hash browns. You can always judge a diner by the quality of their hash browns, so we’ll see what this place has to offer. Laura wanted to get two orders of cookies, but Perry was going to have a fit that she’s not eating right so she got some breakfast as well. I mean, French toast is still full of sugar, but what else would I expect from my girl. We’ll get the cookies to take home with us.

Laura tells me the stories of how she met LaF and Perry. She met Perry first when she was Laura’s floor don in college. I guess Laura was a pretty sheltered girl going into University so she didn’t have a whole lot of friends. She and Perry became friends due to the amount of time they had to spend together dealing with the ridiculous events that took place on that campus. LaFontaine and Perry had been friends since they were five. They grew up together as best friends and eventually fell in love. Laura and LaF met when they would come with Perry to Laura’s room and they have all been friends since.

“So, we have something that we have been wanting to tell you Laura. You see, there’s a reason that we wanted you and Carmilla to come out with us. We have some news,” Perry says.

“What’s going on?” Laura says and squeezes my hand unknowingly.

“Well, we’re…” LaF says as the waitress comes up with our food.

It takes a few minutes for the food to be passed to the correct person. I have applied the perfect amount of salt and ketchup and I grab the fork to my right to prepare to try these hash browns before the conversation turns heavy again.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Laura says to me with the cutest little smile on her face.

“Well, it’s in my half-booth cutie and possession is nine-tenths,” I say while shoveling some hash browns into my mouth. Oh god, they’re so good. Laura looks at me with an expression of disbelief that I would take her fork. I stab one of her home fries with the fork and hand it to her, because like I said, she always wins.

While I’m waiting for the waitress to come back around so I can get some silverware, the conversation starts back up.

“Anyway, back to what we were saying,” LaF says.

“Oh yea, you and Perry are…” Laura says while happily eating her potatoes.

“Getting married,” Perry says and looks at Laura.

It takes Laura a second to register what Perry just said to her. She looks up and it looks like she might spit up her food.

“Congratulations! It’s about time you asked her, LaF! Have you picked a date yet?”

“Actually, that’s why I wanted to tell you so soon. I want you to be my maid of honor and we’re getting married in two months. I need your help to pull this off.” Perry says while reaching her hand across the table to take Laura’s.

“Of course I’ll help you. I’m so excited for you two!”

“Thanks, L. We can’t wait to finally make this thing happen,” LaFontaine says to her.

These two are a pretty unconventional couple. This Perry character seems to be so worked up about every little thing, while LaFontaine is the right kind of calm to level her out. They seem to be good for each other and they seem to really care about Laura. Since I plan on being in Laura’s life, I’m really glad that her friends seem to be pretty nice. We all finish our meals completely because the food at this place really is amazing. I can totally understand why Laura loves it here. I excuse myself from the table to pay for our food. I wanted to give Laura a few minutes alone with her friends, but I also wanted to order those cookies that I know she wants so badly. We can pick them up on the way out the door.

As I’m walking back to the table, they are all standing and getting ready to leave. Laura pulls me into a hug when I move beside her and she kisses me quickly on the lips before she lets go to say goodbye to her friends. I go to shake LaFontaine’s hand and they pull me to the side.

“Hey, we’ve never seen her this happy so please keep up whatever you’re doing. Thanks,” they say with a serious look on their face.

“I don’t know what I’m doing but I’ll keep doing it.”

“You make her happy and she deserves it after everything she’s been through.”

“You’re right. She does.”

“You better not hurt her or you’ll have to deal with us,” they say with a half-hearted smile.

“I could never do that. Promise.”

“Good.”

I go over to shake Perry’s hand and she pulls me into a hug before kissing me on each cheek.

“It was lovely to formally meet you, Carmilla. Take care of our Laura.”

“I will, Perry. It was nice to meet you too,” I say to her as I grab Laura’s hand.

The bobsey twins walk away and Laura turns to follow. I pull on her hand for a second and she turns to meet me.

“Hold on,” I say and walk over to the counter. I walk back with a bag in my hand and I swear that Laura might cry.

“You didn’t.”

“Of course I got your cookies. I couldn’t let you leave here without them, now could I?”

She looks at me with pure adoration in her eyes. I kiss her before she has a chance to say a word and pull her out the door. I want to get her home before she eats this entire bag of cookies in the car.

* * *

 

I’m lying in her bed, the windows are open and I can smell the rain coming. I love the smell of the air right before the first drop of rain breaks free from the clouds. The air is hot and thick with moisture and it almost smells a little sweet. This moment is even better because I have Laura in my arms. Her head is laying on my chest, listening to my heart beat and I am making a game out of touching as much of her skin as I possibly can.

“Hey,” Laura says while moving beside me and sharing my pillow.

“Hey, cupcake.”

“Thanks for going to dinner. My friends really liked you. They said you’re good for me.”

“Hmm, I’m glad they think so highly of me. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m glad to be of service.”

Laura leans over to kiss me. “You make me happy and they could tell. Before I met you, I was in a really dark place and I guess that they were worried. You pulled me out of it and I’m just really grateful.”

“I would do anything for you,” I say as I lean over to kiss her again.

She pushes me back over and lays her head on my chest. She starts tracing letters over my stomach and I have never felt more content in my life than I am in this moment.

“Will you go to the wedding with me?” Laura says.

Just as I’m about to answer, I hear my phone go off on the table beside her bed. I reach over to get it because it’s probably important for someone to be texting me this late.

 **Mother:** “I need to see you in my office first thing in the morning. Do not be late.”

Shit, what did I do now? I swear that I’ll never catch a break with her.

“Is everything ok?” Laura says, looking up at me with a worried face.

“Not sure actually, my mother wants to see me tomorrow. I wonder what I did to piss her off now. That’s not important right now though. Let’s go to this wedding,” I say as I tuck her hair behind her ear and give her my most genuine smile to distract her from the real emotions I’m feeling right now. As much as I’d hate to admit it to anyone, my mother scares the shit out of me.

“We’re definitely going to be the hottest couple at that wedding,” she says as she lays her head back down.

I think I wore her out earlier because she’s going to fall asleep any second. She pushes her hand back under my shirt to trace letters on my stomach and I draft out a quick text to mother.

 **Me:** “Of course, Mother. I will see you in your office at 7:30 am sharp. Thank you.”

I am repulsed by my own words, but I know what this bitch wants to hear and I don’t feel like arguing right now. I’ll deal with her in the morning. I plug my phone back in and set it on the table. Laura has already fallen asleep and I’m glad. I have a bad feeling about tomorrow and she’s going to need her rest to deal with my level of crazy. Mother doesn’t usually text me, she just drops by whenever it’s convenient for her so this is a bad sign. This is not going to be good at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. :)


	8. Safe Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla finish out their first week, they go on their road trip and Danny makes some trouble causing Carmilla to have to face her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is a bit shorter, but the next one is coming soon. Sorry for all the fluff (not really). Laura's POV.

Carm does not want to get out of bed this morning. I’ve already tried to wake her three times and she just pulls the sheets back over her head. I would be really frustrated if she weren’t so cute when she’s grumpy. We have to be to work in 45 minutes and she’s going to be so mad if I don’t get her up. Let’s try this again.

Walking into the bedroom, I see her wrapped up in my sheets like a little burrito. I slide in the bed behind her, pull the sheets up and wrap myself up with her. I can fix my hair later.

Kissing her softly on the neck I say “Carm, you really have to get up. We’re going to be late.”

“No,” she says with a strained voice, but she pulls my arms tighter around her.

“Baby please, we can’t be late today.”

She stretched every muscle in her body like she were feeling them for the first time and rolled over to face me. Her eyes are still closed but her lips curl up into an adorable smile.

“I like it when you call me that,” she says and then yawns.

“What, baby? I’ll call you that as much as you want as long as you get up. We can’t be late,” I say to her and kiss her on the nose, causing her eyes to flutter open.

“Fine, I’m up.”

“Get ready and I’ll have breakfast ready in 20 minutes. We’ll have to take it to-go.”

“Thanks, cutie.”

“You’re welcome,” I say as I kiss her on the forehead and roll out of bed.

 

* * *

 

 

During our drive to school, Carm seems really preoccupied and nervous about something. We decided to take one car today since there’s no point in us driving separately if we’re going to the same place. She is normally distracted from the road by one thing or another. Whether it’s the topic we’re discussing, the song on the stereo, or wanting to kiss and touch me, she’s usually always doing something other than driving. Today, she’s just staring straight forward with both hands gripped on the wheel so hard, her knuckles have gone past white and are starting to turn blue. This is most likely about the meeting she’s supposed to have with her mother, and I’m not sure of how to ease her anxiety about that. I don’t really know much about the situation and I don’t want to say the wrong thing.

We’re sitting at a red light that is taking an eternity to change. Carmilla is bouncing her leg up and down to the point that the car is shaking and sitting in silence is probably not helping her stress level either. I reach over to rub her thigh gently, just to let her know that I’m here. I know she’s stuck inside her head right now, but I want her to know that she’s still grounded. She doesn’t really react at first. I think it’s because she’s so far gone in her thoughts and it takes her a moment to come back down. Eventually I see her start to relax beginning with her shoulders, then her hands, her face, her chest, and eventually she is able to breathe. She takes my hand into hers, bringing it to her lips to kiss it gently.

We pull into the parking lot at Silas and we just sit there for a moment. It’s 7:22, so Carm’s not really in a big hurry to get out of the car. She turns the car off and puts her hands in her lap, already looking defeated.

“Hey,” I say softly.

“Yea?” she says while turning to look at me.

“Whatever happens today, it’s all going to be ok. Nothing that’s going to happen in there is going to change who you are. Also, remember that you get to come home with me when it’s all over.”

I smile at her, hoping to cheer her up at least a little bit. She immediately smiles back and leans in to kiss me. She pulls back from the kiss and wraps me in a tight hug. She’s squeezing me so tightly, I’m having trouble inhaling.

“I needed to hear that,” she says before pulling back to look at me.

“Come find me after. Good luck.”

Walking to my classroom, I’m starting to get really nervous. What the hell has this woman done to her to make her this way?  Carmilla seems so worried and I don’t know what to do to help her. I know they’re in her office right now and she’s probably tearing Carm down and I just can’t think about it or I’ll get really angry and that won’t help anyone. I need to be here for her.

Carmilla made a to-do list for me last night of things that I need to accomplish before Friday. Most of it is paperwork, which I’m quickly finding out is 70% of this job so I better get started before I drown in it. I decided to get a head start on my syllabi for each class. I was lucky enough to be taking over for a teacher that was really nice and left me all of their old files. Between hers and the ones that Carmilla gave me to look at, I should be able to adapt them in to what I need with ease. I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel here, just improve it a bit.

About an hour later, I’m finishing up the course calendar for my AP British Lit class and I hear someone knock on my door. I guess I was distracted and forgot to unlock it when I came in. When I open the door, I’m surprised to see that tall woman I met yesterday at the faculty meeting. I think her name was Danny.

“Hi, what can I do for you?” I say, honestly confused as to why she’s here.

“Hi, Laura right?”

“Yes, and you’re Danny, right?”

“Yes, I am. I just wanted to come say hi again. We didn’t really get the chance to talk yesterday and I wanted to welcome you to Silas.”

“Thank you, that’s so nice of you. Please, come in.”

“Thanks,” she says as she walks in and looks around at everything Carm helped me hang up on the walls. “So, are you liking it here so far?”

“Yea, it’s pretty great. It’s honestly my dream job.”

“Your dream job, huh?”

“Yea, I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was a little girl.”

“Aww, you are entirely too sweet. Definitely a little too sweet for Elvira.”

“What? Who are you talking abou-“

Just as I’m starting to get very uncomfortable with where this conversation is going, Carmilla walks up and stops Danny in her tracks.

“Xena, don’t you have some balls to be cleaning or something?” Carmilla says with a scowl. I don’t know if it was Carmilla’s joke or the look on Danny’s face, but I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Whatever, I have stuff to do anyway. See you later Laura,” Danny says while looking straight through Carmilla and right at me before she walks out the door. I’m not sure of what just happened, but I’m pretty sure that Carmilla’s not very happy about it.

“You ok?” she says while closing the door to my classroom.

“Yea, I’m fine. I don’t know what just happened.”

“Well, it looks like Lawrence has you in her sights and she’s making a big deal about it.”

“Can’t you just tell her that we’re together?”

Carm sits down in one of the student chairs and I sit down beside her. She’s looking down and hasn’t said a word. I’m starting to freak out. Does she not want anyone to know?

“Carm?” I say, begging for an answer.

“I’m pretty sure she figured it out already and she’s trying to use it against me.”

“What do you mean?”

“One of the things my mother had to say this morning is that she overheard a few teachers talking about me dating the new lit teacher. I’m pretty sure that my mother finding out was not exactly an accident and that Danny had something to do with it. We’re obviously not doing anything wrong, but my mother will do anything to ensure that I am as unhappy as she is so she’s trying to take it out on me. She gave me a long speech about professionalism and how you’re only going to hurt my career. She is determined to ruin my life and wants to control every part of it to make sure that I burn in the end.”

“Oh god, I am so sorry. I mean, I knew that she was awful, but I had no idea that it was this bad. If you being with me is going to cause you problems, then I don’t-”

“Cupcake,” she interrupts. “Being with you is more important than anything else in my life. I told my mother to stay out of my personal life. She’s not taking it very well, but I’m not going to let her take you away from me.”

I can’t believe that she would go up against her mother, this monster for me. Carmilla can be kind of hard to read sometimes and I’m still not really sure of how she feels about me. I just don’t want to mess up her life.

“Carm, please don’t take any risks for me. I know that you’re mother is hell to deal with and I don’t want to make things worse for you than they already are.”

She moves off of her chair and kneels on the floor in front of me. I’m looking down at my folded hands on my lap because I didn’t really mean what I said. I want her to take a risk for me. I want her fight her mother for me because I can’t stand the thought of losing her. I want her in my life every day; all the time. I want to pretend to watch movies, meaning that we ultimately make out until the credits roll. I want to take spontaneous car rides to nowhere with her hand in mine and Alanis Morissette on the stereo. I want to make her breakfast after a long, passionate night together and sit by her side while we eat in the most comfortable, content silence. I just want her but I’m afraid to let her see it. I’m afraid to be that vulnerable because I don’t want to be hurt and even more I don’t want to hurt her.

She gently grabs onto my hands and moves closer to me. “I’m not going anywhere, Laura. There’s nothing that you can say that will change my mind. You could never make anything worse for me by staying with me. Every part of you is what’s making me better.”

I look up into her eyes and they are burning into me like a solar flare radiating from the sun. I can’t help but get lost in them, allowing the warmth of her gaze to comfort me to the bones. There’s so much that I want to say, but I can’t find any words to properly illustrate the emotions I’m feeling.

Carmilla must sense my internal panic because she says “you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried. Sorry, Cupcake.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that I don’t want to then.”

 

* * *

 

 

After lunch, Carmilla went back to her classroom to finish up some work but she was back within thirty minutes. She walks in with her laptop and pouting like a child who didn’t get their way.

“Carm? I thought you had some work to do.”

“Yea well, I thought that we’re just both sitting alone working on our computers… which are portable… that maybe we could maybe work in the same room? If it’s going to bother you I can go, but I just wanted to be-“

“It’s fine,” I say to her while fighting back a huge smile. She’s honestly so cute. She just missed me, but she would roll her eyes back into last week if I mention it. She pulls a chair over to my desk and boots up her laptop.

“So, what are you working on?”

“I’m still finishing up the syllabus for my AP British Lit class. The College Board is stupid and I have to include all this unnecessary stuff for it to be approved so we can begin the course on Monday.”

“Wow, sounds like a lot. Didn’t ‘what’s her face’ that used to teach that class leave you hers?”

“She did, but I needed to change it a lot. It wasn’t exactly complete and comprehensive.”

“Ooh, big words from a little Laura,” Carmilla says while laughing.

“Shut up. Anyway, what should I do about Danny? I don’t want to be rude.”

“Don’t worry about it, Cutie. I’m going to talk to her and let her know what’s going to happen. You won’t have to worry anymore.”

 “Thank you. I don’t mind being friends with her, as long as she knows that we’re only friends.”

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the week goes by dreadfully slow. We had to spend all of Wednesday in meetings in these frigid classrooms, sitting in the student desks that have those plastic chairs hard enough to make your butt go numb in under fifteen minutes. It was honestly miserable. We had to learn about school procedures, the guidance department, safety issues and other pertinent information for the start of school and they couldn’t have made it any more boring if they tried.

I felt really bad about it, but I spent most of each meeting texting Carm and I probably didn’t retain as much information as I should have. We were in the same group as we rotated from one meeting to the next, but I didn’t want to be rude and talk the whole time so we just texted back in forth, sitting right next to each other and exchanging inappropriate glances. She is so ruthless sometimes with her flirting techniques and it’s enough to make me writhe in my chair. She knows that her romantic wiles are working on me and it’s making her work even harder. I eventually have to put my phone down because if we continue this any longer, I might get myself into trouble. She laughs and sits back in her chair, folding her arms and smiling at me with this snide sense of victory.

Thursday and Friday at school are pretty uneventful. I was able to get all my paperwork together, create lesson plans for the entire first semester and get all my materials that I need for the first two weeks copied. I still can’t believe that we only get one case of paper per semester from the school as I’m pretty sure I’ll go through my first case in two months.

With my first week at Silas coming to an end, I’m really excited for next week. I can’t wait to meet my first group of students and get started with the year. With that being said, I’m a little more excited about this weekend. As soon as we are free from school today, we’re stopping by my place to pack things up and heading out on a weekend trip. Since I surprised her with that spontaneous road trip last time, she’s taking me to one of her favorite places. All she told me is that I’ll need to pack an overnight bag and some decent shoes. My inquisitive nature makes me want to pry the answers out of her, but if I’m being honest, the surprise is making this road trip all the more exciting.

I’m hurrying to finish putting together the journals I got for each class when the intercom suddenly comes on, scaring the crap out of me and making me knock a pile of at least thirty composition notebooks onto the floor.

“Good afternoon Silas faculty, thank you for all your hard work this week. I feel that we are more prepared than ever to take on the school year. As long as you’ve handed in your professional development feedback and your syllabi for approval, you are free to go for the day. Enjoy your weekend and get some rest. See you on Monday morning at your assigned duties.”

Even when Principal Morgan is making a polite and cordial speech, she still gives me the creeps. However, right now I could not be happier with her because this means that Carm and I get to leave a little earlier than expected.

I’m bent over, trying to pick up the journals I worked so hard to decorate with each student’s name when I hear Carmilla speaking from the doorway. “Where I’m taking you has a great view for sure, but this might be even better.”

“Don’t be rude and come help me pick all this up so we can go,” I say, spinning around and trying my best to look stern.

“Anything for you, Cupcake.”

Carmilla and I finish putting everything back in its place and make our way to the parking lot. As we’re walking out the gate and to her car, we see Danny and Elsie talking over by the front office. Carmilla hands me her keys and says “I’ll be right back.”

As she’s trying to walk away, I pull at her wrist and say “Carm, we can deal with this another time. Let’s just go.”

“I’ll only be a minute.”

I walk over to her car, climb into the passenger seat and position myself so that I can see the conversation that is unfolding between them. I’m trying to decipher Danny’s body language to see if I can gauge how she’s going to react. The last thing that I want is to cause any problems here. I like Danny. I think she’s nice and I could stand to gain a few more friends. I don’t want to mess things up more than I feel like I have.

Suddenly, Danny reaches her hand out to shake Carmilla’s. They seem to have come to an understanding and I finally let out the breath I didn’t know was trapped in my lungs. They both turn to look at me and Danny gives me a shy wave and I reciprocate with a smile and a wave back. They appear to say goodbye to each other and Carmilla comes over to the car.

Climbing into the driver’s seat, Carm lets out a sigh and turns to take the keys from my hand.

“Ready, Cupcake?”

“Yea, but what just happened? Do you really think that I’m going to let you get away with not telling me?”

Carmilla laughs. “Everything is all good now. I explained to Lawrence that we’re together. She didn’t understand how serious things are and well… I”

“You what?” I say, hoping to get the truth out of her. She can really be elusive sometimes.

“We can talk about that tonight. Just trust that you won’t have to worry anymore. I think you two will end up being good friends” she says with the sweetest smile.

“Ok, tonight then. I’m holding you to it.”

“Deal.”

 

* * *

 

 

We slowly make our way through town to get back to my apartment. I’m really glad that we stayed up a little late last night, packing things up so all we have to do load the bags in the car. The traffic this afternoon is absolutely atrocious and it’s making Carm really anxious. I think it’s hilarious how angry she gets when people don’t use their blinker properly. Some person in front of us turned at the last second without properly signaling and I swear she was going to lose her mind. She honked the horn for like eight hot seconds and called them a “withering idiot who has less business driving a truck than a damn newborn baby who probably has more common sense than them anyway. Fuck.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and she shot her fiery eyes in my direction, still seething with anger at this person that she’ll never see again. I could play into it and act like I’m offended, but I decide to do what I do best. While I usually love messing around with her and dragging these comedic situations out, I’m wanting to be close to her right now and even the center console of her car is too far a distance between us.  The smile starts and the corner of my lips, and my eyes widen. I look down for a moment, only to look back up and hit her full force with the sweetest smile that I can conjure. If there’s anything that I’ve learned about Carmilla since we’re known each other, it’s that she doesn’t need much to be brought back to reality. Every muscle in her face relaxes immediately, only to be pulled into that beautiful smile that I have memorized every detail of. She reaches over to me to pulls my hand into hers, giving me the contact I’ve been after.

We finally make it back to my apartment after another twenty minutes of fighting our way through traffic. Although it seems like every soccer mom and elderly driver are out in force today getting in our way at every turn, it seems that Carmilla’s road rage has subsided for now which will make for a much more pleasant trip. That’s definitely a good thing since we apparently have a three hour drive ahead of us.

After loading our bags into the trunk and stopping by the gas station to fill up, we set out toward out destination. We stop for dinner a while later at this little food truck type thing that sold some of the best loaded fries I’ve ever had. Carm got these things called fried green tomatoes. While I wasn’t sure why you would eat green tomatoes, she made me try it and I have to admit that they were delicious. I ended up eating more of them then I think she originally intended.

We’ve been in the car now for about three hours so I know that we have to be close. It’s just after seven and the sun is just sitting on top of the horizon, painting the sky this combination of pink and blue in the East that reminds me of cotton candy and this brilliant mixture of red, orange, and yellow in the West.  It’s been at least forty-five minutes since I’ve seen any remnants of civilization so I figure that wherever we’re going is very isolated. Sounds good to me.

“We’re almost there,” Carmilla says as she turn onto a dirt road that sits at the base of a very modest mountain range.

“Good. I think my legs are going numb from sitting so long.”

“Hmm, I can take care of that for you. I think a massage is in order for you tonight, Ms. Hollis. You’ve worked very hard this week and it only seems right.”

“Is that so? I can’t say that I’m opposed to the idea.”

Carmilla bellows out an honest laugh and reaches to begin her massage on the inside of my thigh, making it clear that her motive behind this is a lot more than simple stress relief.

We finally pull up to this simple little cabin that sits on a plateau between two mountain peaks. Shutting the car off, Carmilla is quick to jump out of the car and take me inside pulling me by the hand.

“Whose place is this?” I ask, as I walk through the threshold of the front door.

“It’s mine actually. Since my house in town is paid for, this is where I pay my mortgage.”

“This cabin is yours? Like, you own it?”

“Yea, it is. I like to come here as often as I can. It’s far enough away that no one can get to me. It’s my favorite place to be. Well, it’s at least my favorite location.”

My cheeks turn red, knowing what she really meant by that. I let go of her hand to further explore each room. While the outside may give the illusion of a little country cabin, the interior tells an entirely different story. The kitchen is furnished with what would be considered to be dream appliances, the living room has the most beautiful fireplace with an equally as impressive flat screen tv sitting above it. The bedroom. Oh dear god, the bedroom was something out of a movie. While the décor was breathtaking, I couldn’t get my eyes past anything but the bed. The duvet looked so soft and inviting and I suspect that we’ll be spending a lot of time here this weekend, not that I’m mad about it.  Leave it to Carmilla to have the most perfect house ever hidden away in the middle of nowhere.

I make my way back to the living room to discover that Carm has already brought everything in from the car. She sets the last bag down, turns to lock the door and kicks off her boots leaving them in the middle of the doorway.

“Alright, cutie. Get changed. We’re going for a bit of a walk. We need to leave soon if we’re going to make it before it gets too cold.”

“What? I thought we were staying here.”

“As much as I love it here, this isn’t why I brought you up here. I have something better to show you. Now, go get dressed and I’ll get everything ready.”

Carmilla kisses me on the top of the head, grabs her bags and finds her change of clothes. I follow suit and do the same before I head to the bathroom. I’m not sure what she has planned for me tonight so I make sure to freshen up before I change into my favorite jeans, running shoes and Carm’s college hoodie. She doesn’t know yet that I grabbed it from her house when we went over there last night, but I’m sure she won’t mind.

When I go to find her, she’s sitting on the couch with a back pack beside her waiting for me. When I walk into her line of sight, she sits back on the couch cushion and smiles up at me.

“Well, don’t you look… studious.”

“Shut up. Don’t be mad because it looks better on me.”

“I can’t argue with you on that one, Cupcake. Ready to go?”

“Yes,” I say with a definitive smile.

 

* * *

 

 

We set out on a trail behind the house. It’s pitch black out here so I’m really glad that Carm knows where she’s going. I’m glad she says that we don’t have to walk very far because even with these bright ass flashlights, I can’t help but feel uneasy. Maybe we’ll have time to walk back though here when the sun is out because I can only imagine how beautiful it is. The canopy above us is blocking out any light that comes from the moon and the stars so I literally cannot see anything outside the harsh limits of the illumination of our flashlights.

We finally reach the end of the trail that connect to the entrance of an open field. It’s a little breezy out so the tall grass is swaying back and forth gently, the owls in the trees are calling to each other, the wolves are crooning in the distance and the moon is as bright as the midday sun. This is breathtaking.

“Come on,” Carmilla says while looking out into the field, grabbing my hand and pulling me with her. We walk hand in hand until we are out far enough into the field to get a purely unobstructed view of the night sky. “This will do.”

“What are we doing out here?” I ask, not really caring why because this is amazing.

“This is the best view of the stars in the entire world. I love it here and I really wanted to show you.”

Carmilla sets her backpack on the ground and pulls out a blanket, smoothing it down over the tall grass and motioning for me to sit beside her. She pulls out a thermos and sets it down to the side and then lays down flat on her back, putting one arm behind her head to support it gently. Yea, the stars may be beautiful and all that, but that’s not where I want to be looking right now. The serenity on Carmilla’s face is absolutely enchanting and I don’t think she has ever looked more beautiful.

I’m half laying down, propped up on my elbow while looking at her and she says “you’re staring.”

“Uh, well I really like the view.”

“I didn’t bring you up a mountain so you could look at me, Cutie. Come here.”

I snuggle up to her side with my arm draped over her stomach while looking up into the sky. We just lay there for a while, breathing each other in and looking at the stars. I really don’t know how this moment could be any more perfect.

“You’re the first, you know.” Carmilla says without moving a muscle.

“What are you talking about?” I breathe into her chest

“I’ve never brought anyone here before. I’ve never really wanted to share my safe place.”

I sit up and turn to face her. She’s still lying on her back, but she’s turned her head to look at me.

“I didn’t realize that this place was so special to you. You didn’t have to bring me here if you weren’t ready.”

“I was ready. I realized it when I saw Danny gawking at you the other day. It made my blood boil and it just further revealed to me how I really feel about you.”

“Oh” I say, keeping my response short in hopes that she’ll keep going. She turned on her side to look me in the eye.

“See, that’s why I told Danny what I did today.”

“What did you two even talk about?”

My heart is pounding out of my chest. I want to tell her everything that I’m feeling. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but it feels like much longer than that. While I’ve been in relationships before, nothing has ever compared to the intensity of my relationship with Carmilla.

“Well, Lawrence and I are actually good friends. We’ve actually known each other since college. She was in all the annoying social clubs and I was more of the intellectual type so we argued a lot but we had a lot of education classes together so we ended up becoming friends anyway. Because of our wildly different personalities and deep sense of pride, we always ended competing over everything; women being something we always fought over. When she saw you in the cafeteria that day, it was just another day to her and she was just making a move to see if she could mess with me. She may have a legitimate crush on you, but she respects me enough to not cross the line after what I told her today.”

“Oh, well that makes sense I guess. Wait, what did you tell her?”

Carmilla lays down on her back again and looks up before continuing.

“When I was explaining to her that you are my girlfriend and this is not going to be one of her games she asked if it was serious between us. I told her it was without hesitation.”

“Yea?” I said, reaching to lace her fingers with mine.

“Yep, and she almost laughed.”

“Is that why you shoved her? I thought you two were going to fight right then and there.”

Carmilla laughed “yea, I pushed her and I guess she figured it out.”

“She figured what out?

Carmilla turned back to face me. I was still propped up on my elbow and she mimicked my position so that we were looking directly at each other. She reached with her free hand to push some stray hairs behind my ear, then sliding her hand down my shoulder and arm to rest on my waist.

“That I’m falling in love with you.”

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, I just didn’t know how to say it but it’s true.”

“I love you too, Carm.”

As soon as those words leave my lips, my heart swells and her eyes widen in disbelief. I know it took everything she had to say that because I’m having difficulty with it myself. To show her how much I mean it, I lean in for the softest and most meaningful kiss of my life. Our touch is so light that her lips feel like a ghost on mine. I rotate my shoulder to fall onto my back and pull her down on top of me. I love Carmilla and she finally knows it. Not only that, but she loves me back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. You are all lovely people. What do you think so far? 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at 2edge4u.tumblr.com if you want to see some quality web content.


	9. Vanilla Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla fulfills a promise, her and Laura go to dinner with friends and they run into trouble. 
> 
> Carmilla POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so there's a lot of fluff in here but the plot is coming and I'm sorry. I've been in my feels lately so this is what you get. 
> 
> Trigger Warning: childhood trauma.

Lying here under the heavy night sky, with the sound of the gentle breeze and nocturnal creatures orchestrating a soothing symphony in my ears, I can’t help but feel utterly content. This feeling is only made better by having Laura wrapped tightly around me as I take it all in. I’ve known for a while how I feel about her, I just didn’t know the right way to tell her. I know that to most people I come across as confident, maybe even intimidating, but I feel the same emotions as everyone else. Laura sometimes looks at me like I’m everything in the world. Yea, I may have helped her get the job at Silas and I may be standing up to my mother for her, but that doesn’t mean that it was easy or that I wasn’t scared the whole time.

Laura is the most intriguing person I have ever met. She tries to hide it, but she is the biggest dork I have ever seen. I’ve never really been into the Harry Potter movies or that Doctor Who crap before, but I’ll watch them with her every time if it means I get to watch her adorable reactions and hold her close when she gets upset over something she’s already seen a million times. She is sweet and thoughtful, always making sure that I am taken care of physically and emotionally. No matter how many times I get wrapped up in my head, she knows exactly how to kiss me and what words to whisper into my ear to bring me back to her. She is incredibly sexy and doesn’t even know it. The way she looks at me when she’s waking me up in the morning, the noises she makes when we kiss, and even the way she balls up her fists when she gets angry. Every single thing about her drives me wild.

We stayed in that field for more than an hour, me on my back and her wrapped around my side. We held hands and kissed probably over a hundred times. It’s ridiculous really; the fact that I have somehow turned into a sappy romantic practically overnight still shocks me every day. I’ve never been like this before, but something about Laura just puts me under a spell and I can’t seem to help myself.

It’s starting to get really cold so we decide to go back to the cabin for the night. I’m glad that she made me stop for groceries on the way, because now that I’m here, I don’t want to leave until we have to.

“So, are you still interested in that massage I promised you?” I say as I close the door behind us and turn to lock it. Turning back to her, I see a mix between surprise and shock written on her face but she’s not saying anything.

“I asked you to come all the way out here. The least I can do is make you feel better after you had to sit in that horrible car for three hours.” I step closer to her, feeling as though she’s pulling me in.

“I… you don’t have to.”

“I want to. It will be fun for both of us.” She couldn’t hide the desire in her eyes if she were blindfolded, which now that I think about it sounds like a great idea for another time.

Just as I’m closing in the space between us, she looks away and giggles. I swear to god, she giggled. I think I may have fallen in love with her all over again in this moment. Yes, everything about her is incredibly sexy to me but it’s in moments like this that I am most attracted to her. The way she reacts to my glances, my touch, my love is what I live for. I realize moments later that I’ve wrapped her in my arms and I’m just staring at her, seemingly centimeters away from her face.

“What?” she says while looking up at me. The smile she’s wearing so honestly has reached her eyes, and mine.

“Nothing, I just really can’t believe you’re real sometimes. I feel like I’ve waited centuries for you and the fact that I’ve found you is just overwhelming sometimes. I never thought I deserved to be as happy as you make me.”

Laura wraps her arms around my neck while raising herself up on her toes and kisses me with all the fervor in her little body. I can’t help but squeeze her so tightly that I think I’ve lifted her off the ground but it’s ok because I’m pretty sure I’m floating along with her.

She pulls back and says, “You deserve everything and more.”

Time suspended while we held each other kissing, hugging, trying to get as close to one another as possible without achieving complete osmosis. I have honesty never felt so strongly about anyone before. I didn’t know that love like this even existed. My cynical nature didn’t want to believe that it was possible, until now.

“Come with me,” I say as I finally loosen my grip from her and sliding my hand down her arm to hake hers. We walk to the bedroom hand in hand, exchanging sweet glances along the way. I tell Laura to lie down on the bed and I set off to find what I need to make plan come to reality. You see, I kind of had an ulterior motive to the whole massage comment in the car today. Of course I want to make her sore muscles (which I think she’s actually just being a big baby) feel better, but really I’m more interested in the after effects of said massage. The thought of straddling her thighs while dripping oil onto her back and slowly rubbing every inch of her golden skin sounds like a great idea to me. Ok, I need to find this shit and get back to her fast.

I walk back into the bedroom to find her in the middle of the bed sitting with her legs crossed. Damn she was so cute.

“What’s that?” she asked with a shy grin.

“Oh this?” I say holding out the vanilla scented body oil I received as a gift once. I never had a reason to use it until now. “It’s nothing, Cupcake.”

I set it down on the night table and prowled onto the bed. She immediately placed her hands behind her to lean back and I took it as a chance to get even closer. With this speed and strength that I didn’t even know I had in me, I reached behind her to ley her gently on the bed. As I gently fall into her arms, her legs suddenly wrap around my back and she pulls me closer to her. The sudden pressure makes her moan softly and I’m more than glad to swallow it with a kiss. Her hands find their way under my shirt and start rubbing softly up and down my back, from my dimples to my shoulder blades. While I’m really enjoying her hands being all over me, this is supposed to be about her so I reluctantly pull back.

Laying on top of her, staring into her eyes with her kiss-bruised lips trying desperately to steal my attention, I get ahold of myself and focus. I sit up and straddle her hips, pulling her up with me and taking her shirt off. Leaning in to shower her neck with kisses, I reach around her body and unclasp her bra with practiced ease. I trail open mouth kisses up her jaw and find her lips while pushing her back down onto the bed. Sitting back on my feet, I unceremoniously take off her jeans and underwear causing her to laugh a bit.

“What’s the rush, babe? We’ve got all night here,” Laura says.

She’s laying there with her legs pulled up, but they’re pressed together. She’s looking at me from around her knees and smiling like an adorable idiot. I guess the reason that I’m rushing right now is because I plan to tease her relentlessly and I’m getting really excited just thinking about it. I can’t let her know. Stay cool, Karnstein.

I throw her jeans onto the floor and turn to look at the beauty on my bed. Placing a finger on each knee, I slowly spread them apart and settle in between them. I slowly lean in for a kiss but I feel her raising her hips up to meet mine, desperate for any kind of friction or pressure. I stop just before our lips meet and grind my hips down into hers hard, causing her to let out this low groan and her entire body to spasm. Before she can even regain her senses, I start a slow rhythm with my hips and she equally matches my pace. We’re now kissing and it’s hot, sloppy and wet while grinding into each other so hard that we may start a fire. I can tell my her breathy moans and harsh nails on my skin that she’s already climbing the delicious ascent to climax, but I have a lot planned for her so I all but jump off of her and leave her breathless.

I’m standing at the side of the bed now, facing away from her and I swear that I can feel her pouting from over here. Teasing her is quickly becoming my favorite pastime because the reward at the end is so satisfying for both of us.

“Carm, what the fu-?”

“Shh, turn over. Lay on your gorgeous stomach and I’ll be right there.”

“What?” I can hear her starting to get up.

“Baby, please. Just turn over. It will be well worth the wait.”

“Fine.”

I make a show out of undressing myself. I know that this is going to get pretty messy so I definitely don’t want to be clothed for this. I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard her humming and moaning softly as I bend over to take off my pants and black lacy thong. I thought for sure that she was going to get up, but she stayed on the bed so I won’t make her wait anymore because she is trying so hard to behave.

When I turn around, she’s laying on her stomach with her arms stretched above her head and underneath the pillows. As I climb up on the bed, I realize the heat between my legs is already growing stronger as I’m memorizing at every detailed muscle on her shoulders, the perfect curve of the small of her back and her perfect little ass. I know that Laura feels self-conscious sometimes and while her feelings are warranted because she is allowed to feel however she wants, I will never truly understand why. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and she will never be able to convince me otherwise.

I grab the body oil and crawl over to her to sit on the back of her legs. Her breath hitches at the contact, probably because she can literally feel how turned on I am by this and she’s having the same reaction because her hips grind down into the bed.

“This might be a little cold,” I say as I start to drip the oil between her shoulder blades.

I see her body tense up at the unexpected sensation and I immediately want to sooth her but I keep going, slowly adding more oil drip by agonizing drip. Once I see a substantial puddle forming on her skin and she looks like she’s going to burst, I finally set the bottle down and knead my hands into her back. She starts to hum appreciatively as her arms slide from underneath the pillows and grip the sheets. The noises she’s making are too much to handle. I really want to flip her over right now and fuck her senseless, but I have a job to do here. Generously applying more oil to my hands, I slide and push them around every part of her body that I can reach from this position. I make sure to thoroughly work each and every muscle out, bringing her to complete relaxation. I’ve never really been particularly spiritual, but if I were to believe in anything it would be whatever deity created Laura Hollis.

 I slide down her legs so that I’m sitting on her ankles. Applying a considerate amount of oil onto my hands, I begin to work on her thighs. First right above the knee, rotating my ringers in circles and pushing down firmly I slide my hands down her calves and then back up. I drip more oil onto the back of her thighs and continue my circles upward, stopping just below her ass and dipping a hand in between her legs drawing a loud gasp from Laura’s mouth. Every little reaction she has is making me want her even more so I keep my movements slow and deliberate to pull every moan, gasp, thrust, and scratch out of her. I continue my work up and down the length of her body, pausing only to kiss her everywhere my hands once touched. Luckily, this stuff is vanilla flavored as well as vanilla scented but I can’t tell much of a difference. Laura already tasted like sugary cupcakes and vanilla dreams to me.

When I can’t take it anymore, I flip her over to reveal a panting and withering mess. There is nothing better than knowing that she wants me as badly as I want her.

“Carm, please… I can’t....”

“I know, it’s ok.”

I lay down gently on top of her, with one leg in between hers and one of hers in between mine. With plenty of oil on my hands, I slide my hands up her sides to find her breasts and give them as much attention as I have the rest of her. Even if I wanted to fight it, she pulled me in for a kiss before I even knew what happened. With the slow work of my hands and the even slower grind of our hips against each other, I was more than happy to deepen that kiss until we both has to gasp for air. When I look down to find her eyes, I see that tears are streaming down the sides of her face. I quickly pull back and grab her face, wiping her tears with my thumbs.

“Laura, what’s wrong? I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” She starts crying even harder. Fuck. “Laura, please. What happened?”

“No, I’m fine. I just… I’m realizing how much I love you and it’s too much. I love you too much. I feel out of control.”

“Laura, baby. I love you too. You’re not out of control. I’m right here. I have you and I’m not going to let you go. I promise.”

She doesn’t say anything but she closes her eyes and smiles sweetly, letting the last tears fall from her eyes that night. I kiss them away and she wraps her hands in my hair to pull my lips back to hers. For lay there for the longest time, just kissing each other and feeling every part of each other when that familiar rhythm between our hips from earlier starts up again. With every movement, the pace picks up and I suddenly find my hand in between her legs. We are rocking and writhing in perfect unison, crawling closer and closer to climax together while both panting and mumbling curse words and broken versions of each other’s names. Between my talented fingers and me grinding down on the toned, slick muscles on her thigh we both come in minutes taking almost as much effort to come down from it.

I eventually flop down beside her, exhausted in every way possible. She immediately curls up to my side and kisses me softly while trying her best to fix my sweaty, disheveled hair. There have been plenty of times that I question if anyone could ever love me, especially someone as perfect as Laura. However, in moments like this when she’s touching me with such care and loving every inch of me I know my insecure thoughts are all bullshit. Everything mother tried to make me believe is bullshit. I am not worthless. I am worthy of love. I’m worthy of Laura’s love. I’m not that little girl that’s been locked away, starved for love and affection anymore. Laura tells me that I’m beautiful and I’m starting to believe her.

We just stay there for a while, holding and kissing each other before she is determined to return the favor and I am happy to oblige. We spend most of the night in that bed, worshipping every part of each other inside and out. We did make a trip to the kitchen around two in the morning. Sitting naked on the floor in front of the open refrigerator, we fed each other fruit and yogurt before we ended up making out on the floor and having another round of intense sex right then and there.

* * *

 The next day, I was the first to wake up which was a complete shock. I am most definitely not a morning person and therefore I’m always the last one awake. I take this opportunity to make Laura a breakfast of french toast and some of the fruit we didn’t eat last night. When I bring it into the bedroom, she’s still fast asleep. I can’t fight the smirk that pulls its way onto my face knowing that she’s so exhausted because of me.

I set the tray carrying both of our plates and juice down on the bed and sit beside her. She’s sleeping so peacefully on her side with the sheet only up to her hips so her naked body is halfway visible making my stomach flip. I’ve seen her naked countless times by now and it still feels like the first time every time. I lean down and gently kiss her shoulder and run my hand down her arm to rest on her hip. Her eyes flutter open to meet mine with a smile.

“Good morning,” I say and lean in to kiss her on the forehead.

“Morning. What time is it?”

“I glance over to the clock on the night stand and say “it’s around eleven.”

“Oh my god, why did you let me sleep so long?”

I move closer to her and move my hands around to the back of her neck ad pull her in for a kiss.

“Because Cutie, you clearly needed the sleep after last night and it gave me time to make us breakfast.”

I reach over to grab the tray and put it on her lap. She smiled from ear to ear and reached for a piece of the fruit. The look on her face tells me that she now has the same images pop into her head that I do when eating a piece of watermelon and I just laugh. After reassuring her that she doesn’t need to get dressed to enjoy breakfast with me, we sat there enjoying our french toast on my bed with her wrapped up in my sheets and me comfortable in one of her t-shirts that she’s secretly happy that I stole.

We spend the rest of the day sight-seeing around the mountain, walking the various trails that run from the plateau to different peaks. Normally this is not my kind of thing, but holding her hand and wrapping my arms around her while taking in the beautiful view is actually making all this physical activity worth it. Kind of. I’m really starting to dread that fact that this perfect moment is soon coming to an end and that have to return to work, to mother, to life.

We weren’t as crazy tonight as we were last night. Believe me, it’s not that we didn’t want each other, it’s just that we’re absolutely spent from all the hiking today and other various physical pursuits from the weekend. Nonetheless, while we were sitting and pretend to watch Buffy, her hands began wandering and mine took her cue. Before the story took its predictable wrong turn, she was on top of me and we came within minutes. I would typically be embarrassed of such a thing, but I’m exhausted and she’s hot so what do you want from me? I ended up falling asleep on the couch with her on top of me and I held her tight.

* * *

 

The next morning, I wake up in my bed and Laura is back to her usual chipper self. I’m not sure how we got here but whatever. She thinks I’m still sleeping but I’m watching her flutter around the room in purple boy shorts and a tiny black tank top through heavy eyelids. She’s humming something softy, swaying her hips while she packs our things back into their bags and oh my god she’s so hot like this. I really want to pull her back into bed with me and tell her how hot she is without using any words, but we have a long drive ahead of us. I get to and sneak up behind her, sliding my arms around her and kissing her neck softly.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Mmm, good morning.”

“How are you today, Cupcake?”

“Better now that you’re awake,” she says while turning in my arms to capture my lips between hers. “Now, as much as I would love to stay here and kiss you all day we have to get back. Help me pack?”

I suppress the growl finding its way out of my mouth and just smile, trying to hide my disdain for doing actual work. Any other person would have received a hearty “fuck you very much” for asking me to do work this early on a Sunday morning, but Laura could get me to do anything without much of a complaint.

We quickly finish packing everything up and hit the road, opting to get breakfast along the way. It only takes nine minutes of us being on the highway before she reaches over and pulls my hand into her lap, lacing her fingers with mine and holding it tightly with both hands. I’m not complaining at all. I love the way she always wants to be touching me because I feel the same way. Her proximity is completely intoxicating and lack of contact puts me into what seems like withdraw and I feel empty. I guess that qualifies as an addiction, but I cannot even begin to explain how many shits I do not give. If I’m going to be willingly addicted to anything, it should be Laura Hollis.

We get back into town a couple hours later and go straight to her place. As I’m unloading her bags from the car to take into her apartment, I pause to look at mine not really sure of what to do. I know it seems ridiculous, but I don’t want to go home tonight. I know that we’ve spent the last few weeks together but I just can’t be alone anymore. After so many years of solitary confinement, both forced and intentional I never want to be alone again.

Laura must see my internal conflict because she comes up behind me, grabs my bags from the trunk and says “are you coming inside? We have some laundry to do for the week.”

I look at her and smile, not saying anything because she’s so perfect and I don’t want to ruin it.

“Carm, you can stay. It’s ok.”

“I love you”

“I love you too. Now, I’m serious about that laundry. Come on.”

This time I let that growl find its way out of my throat and she just laughs because she knows I’m going to help anyway.

* * *

 

We finish our chores before settling into the couch for a movie or two. I used to be more of a social person, but I find myself wanting to stay home with my girl more often than not. I know it’s probably frowned upon by most people, but again, zero shits given. Just as all those bitchy girls start throwing their tampons at Carrie in that bathroom, I get a call from Danny. I reach for my phone on the other side of Laura and she is no help, just wrapping her arms around me tighter.

“Xena.”

“Fang-face.”

“Why the hell do you call me that anyway?”

“I don’t know, you look like a fucking vampire or something with your pale-ass skin and it just seems fitting.”

“Anyway, why are you bothering me on the weekend?

“It’s our last night of freedom, Karnstein. Let’s go out. Bring Laura.”

“Hold on.”

I put the phone down and Laura sits up to find out what’s going on.

“Danny wants us to go out. Did you want to or are you too tired?”

“No, that sounds fun. Let’s do it.”

I wiggle my eyebrows at her mention of doing it because Laura sometimes brings the immaturity of a teenage boy out of me. I laugh and pull her back into my side while picking the phone back up.

“Lawrence?”

“Yea, still here.”

“Yea, we’ll go. What are we doing anyway?”

“I don’t know. I’m just bored and I want to go somewhere. Can you get a table at your brother’s place?”

“Yea, probably. I’ll text you.”

“Ok.”

I hang up and immediately text Will. It’s a Sunday so there’s probably a table available, but business has been great for them lately so you never know.

“Hey Cupcake, you should invite your friends the ginger twins. We’re going to my brother’s restaurant and maybe it will be more fun if there’s more people than just us and Danny.”

“Great idea, I’ll call LaF now.

* * *

 

A few hours later, we’re pulling up to the restaurant. Laura feels over dressed in the little black dress I picked out for her but she looks amazing. We’re walking up to the front door and I put my hand around her waist. It’s not that I’m trying to show off my incredibly hot girlfriend to everyone in this line before I skip ahead of them, subsequently pissing them off or anything. Who am I kidding, that’s exactly what I’m doing and I could not be happier to do it.

When we reach the door, I’m surprised to see this guy Theo who is typically the sous chef acting as the maître d’ instead of the usual Kirsch.

“Good evening Ms. Karnstein, Ms. Hollis. Your table is waiting.”

Upon hearing groans from those poor bastards waiting in line, we are ushered inside by Theo to a table where Kirsch and Will were seated waiting for us. Laura and I thank Theo before he leaves to head back to the door.

“Hey, Kitty” Will says while getting up to hug me.

“Willy-boy”

After hugging Will and saying hello to Kirsch, I turn to Laura and take her hand.

“Will, this is Laura Hollis. My girlfriend.”

“I know who she is by now, Kitty. Laura, it’s nice to finally meet you. This one won’t shut up about you. I feel like I know you already.”

I hit Will on the arm before he reaches to shake Laura’s hand. I have to give him a hard time, but I know that’s his ass hole brother way of telling her that he approves.

We all sit and wait for the rest of the party to arrive. We’re still waiting on Laura’s friend and Danny who’s apparently bringing Elsie. Great. I mean, they’re both fine but they kind of annoy me when they’re together. We start with drinks while everyone slowly trickles in.

“So little bro, how did you manage to get Theo to take over so you and Kirsch could both have the night off?” I say, honestly wondering how that happened.

“I’m paying him double. I wanted to meet this girl you keep talking about and I couldn’t leave Kirsch hanging.”

Laughter erupts from the table at the ridiculous high five shared between the two brutes. I love them both, but sometimes their blatant displays of masculinity are nauseating. Stories are shared all around the table while we eat the food that Natalie brought us. William tells Laura some embarrassing stories from when I was a kid and I have plenty of ammunition to get him back. LaFontaine tells us stories about when they and Perry were kids and they would play house. Apparently Perry was just as uptight back then and for some reason I find that hilarious. Laura and I both notice how much Danny is laughing at the stories Kirsch is telling and how he is laughing at hers. I’m not sure what’s really going on there, but they would be cute together I guess. I really don’t care.

Having a few glasses of water, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. When I turn back toward the table, I swear my heart had fallen right out of my body when I see mother standing behind my empty chair and next to Laura. Every atom in my body is screaming at me to run back into the bathroom and lock the door but I can’t leave Laura and Will like that. Who knows what she’s talking to them about. I take a deep breath and clench my fists so tight that I think I cut my palm with my fingernails before I walk back to the table.

“Carmilla, dear. We were just talking about you.” Mother said with her typical condescending tone.

“I’m sure, Mother.”

“Well, I’m a little disappointed to see that you didn’t heed my advice Carmilla, but I won’t keep you. I will see you all tomorrow.”

I stood there and watched as she walked out the door and only took a breath when I felt Laura’s hand take mine.

“Hey, it’s ok. She’s gone,” Laura says into my ear as she’s suddenly standing next to me. I guess I stood there longer than I thought.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok. I’ve got you. You’re safe here with me.”

I finally break my eyes away from the door to find hers and she meets me with a smile. Usually in times like this, it would take Will hours to bring me back to reality and Laura is able to do it is seconds. She cups my cheek and pulls my in for a sweet kiss before pulling me back to the table. She asks if I want to leave, but I don’t want to ruin the evening more than I already have so I insist that I’m fine.

We all finish our dinner and a few order dessert as we talk about anything and everything. To be honest, I don’t do much talking for the rest of the evening but Laura picks up on my mood and is happy to jump in when I need her to. I’m very content to be sitting with my right arm around her shoulders and her hand on my thigh while I kiss her on the cheek whenever I want to. The facial expressions around the table while looking at the two of us range from adoration (ginger twins and Kirsch) to jealousy (Danny and Elsie) but I don’t care. Laura makes me feel safe and loved and I will kiss her whenever I please.

Will looks at us with an expression that I can’t quite figure out.

“What?” I say to him with a scowl.

“Nothing, I just get it now.”

“What do you mean you get it?” Laura says and settles further into my side.

“I get it. I understand why it’s Laura. I have never seen anyone pull you back from hell so quickly. I can’t even do that and you’ve known me your whole life. You obviously love each other and I’m just happy for you, Kitty. Don’t fuck this up.”

Laura laughs when I throw my napkin at Will. That was really one of the nicest things he has ever said to me and I appreciate it, I’m just pissed that he chose to do it in front of everyone.

We stay for maybe another hour, everyone getting to know each other and I’m starting to feel like this is going to become a permanent thing or something. Like I said, I’m not really into social events these days but if I have to hang out with a group of people, I guess I could find worse. We all say our goodbyes and everyone hugs to finally part ways for the night before seeing each other at school tomorrow.

* * *

 

On the drive home, I quickly regress into my shocked state remembering what mother said to me at the restaurant. I disappointed her. Again. I know that she can’t hurt me anymore if I don’t let her, but I guess it’s all the years I spent in that hell hole subjected to her torture that keeps me scared after all this time. There are so many other kids in the world that have had it worse than Will and I, but that doesn’t mean that I’m any less fucked up. Whenever I would disappoint mother, which I quickly found out I could do by simply breathing, she would find new and creative ways of punishing me. She never hit me which was ok I guess, but the psychological terror was enough to ruin me. She would most often lock my in a closet with no light whatsoever for hours on end. One time she forgot I was in there for a day and a half. When she finally let me out, I cried myself unconscious and soiled myself which made her lock me up for another half a day.

Sometimes she would deprive Will of food and water or lock him up because of my mistakes. She could fuck me up all she wants, I was used to it being the oldest and most hated sibling, but I could not handle the thought of Will suffering because of me. When I was seven and Will was five, mother was accusing us eating a snack before we had our dinner which we both knew better than to even try. I tried to deny it which made her even more mad and I learned very quickly that day to never try to defend myself against her because I will never win. She padlocked the fridge and every cabinet only to cook herself these extravagant meals in which the aroma would fill the house to torture us further while she starved us for more than a week. Unfortunately this happened during the summer so we didn’t have the benefit of school lunches and we were left to go insane with hunger and dehydration only being able to drink from the bathroom sink whenever she would unlock the dead bolt on our bedroom doors long enough for us to shower. If there is one thing that mother wouldn’t stand for, it was poor hygiene.

This is why I never want to be alone. This is why I don’t want to go home to my own house, but I can’t bring myself to tell Laura all this yet. I know that she loves me, but there’s a part of me that still believes mother and that Laura will run when she finds out just how fucked up I really am. So, that’s why I want to stay with her all the time. This is the first time in my entire life that I feel warm, loved and safe. Being wrapped up in Laura’s arms is the exact opposite of that dark closet I spent so many years trapped in and I can’t get enough of this feeling.

“Carm? Baby, are you ok?”

Laura knows there’s something wrong and it has everything to do with my mother. She puts one hand on my shoulder and the other on my thigh while I drive toward her apartment. I can’t lie to her but I can’t tell her the full truth yet either.

“No, I’m not ok really.”

She is shocked by my blunt honesty and has to restrain herself from crawling over the center console to sit in my lap because we’re going fifty miles per hour and that would probably be unsafe. She instead starts playing with my hair and rubbing circles into my thigh.

“I’m sorry. I know I can’t fix anything but I’m here. I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.”

“I know, and I love you too.”

I really love that Laura doesn’t try to tell me a bunch of fluff just to make me feel better. She just makes me feel loved and supported and for the first time since dinner, I take in a full breath.

* * *

 

We get back to her apartment and immediately get ready for bed. We have to be up early for work and we’re both pretty exhausted from everything that’s happened over the last few days.

I’m lying next to her, with our legs entwined together and staring deep into each other’s eyes. It’s amazing sometimes how we can just be still for so long. I don’t mean physically still, because believe me when I say I’m feeling her up every chance I get. I mean still as in silent, calm, reverent and just present in the moment together. Every time I look at her I find my new favorite thing about her and in this moment, it’s her beautiful eyes and how they glimmer in the light coming from the candle on the bedside table.

“I’m sorry about what happened today,” she finally speaks.

“What on earth do you have to be sorry for, Cupcake?”

“About your mother. I know it really upset you and I’m-“

“Laura… Laura, it’s not your fault. If anything, having you there made things easier.”

“I know, it’s just that she doesn’t want you to be with me. It’s obvious. Someone has to be sorry and it might as well be me.”

I sit up suddenly blown away by Laura’s words.

“Hey, nothing here is your fault. I could give a shit what my mother thinks about my relationship with you. I love you and there’s nothing that she can say that will change that.”

Laura sits up to look at me and I continue.

“Yea, she doesn’t want me to be happy and she’s going to try to psych me out of a good thing like she always tries to do. The difference is that this time, my feelings for you far outweigh my fear of her. She could fire me, lock me away forever and torture me relentlessly and I will still live and breathe for you. Got it?”

“Wow. Got it.” Laura says while trying to hide the smile pulling on to the corners of her mouth.

“Good, now can we go to bed? You wore me out this weekend and we have a long week ahead of us,” I say as I lean in to kiss that smile off her face.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what happened with your mother when you were a little girl and you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. You really don’t. I just need to tell you that nothing is going to change if you do. I am still going to love you. There’s nothing that you could ever tell me that will make me want to leave. I just want you to know that.”

This is honestly everything that I’ve ever needed. I need someone to make me feel safe and I have finally found that in my Laura. I can’t bring myself to say anything because there are no words that can eloquently top what she just said to me. I instead pull her down on the pillow and kiss her as though I were drowning and her lips were my lifeline. As many times as Laura and I have made love, this is by far the most intimate moment of my life and I will never forget it. I wrap her up in my arms and hold her close as we drift off to sleep to prepare for the stressful week ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read my fic. It really does mean the world to me. Come back to find out what happens during Laura's first week as a teacher and more about mother. :)
> 
> Come say hi at 2edge4u.tumblr.com. I would love to talk with all of you.


	10. Taste of Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first day of school, Laura meets some interesting students and Carmilla has to make some plans.

I’m woken up by the very loud intrusion of the phone alarm. I can tell since I’m hearing ‘Bad Blood’ by Taylor Swift that I’ve already slept through my first two alarms and Carmilla apparently didn’t hear them either since she’s still fast asleep next to me. I’m somehow able to sit up enough to dismiss the alarm, which is a miracle because I’m exhausted I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. It’s one of those days that I can’t really move yet and I’m just sitting on the bed staring at the wall when I realize what day it is. Oh my god. Today is finally here.

I have been waiting for this day since I was in Mrs. Rheinfeldt’s 5th grade class. She all but forced me to enter an essay contest because she apparently saw something in me that I didn’t. To make a very long story short, she was the teacher that really inspired all the decisions I later made to get here. Winning that essay contest changed my life. I ended up receiving a second place medal at the state level after sweeping districts which then qualified me for the national level where I earned third place. It would have been great to win, but I did end up with a handful of scholarships by the age of ten and I first gained my passion for knowledge that year. I knew from that moment on that I wanted to dedicate my life to learning and sharing my knowledge with as many people as I could. I wanted to be a Mrs. Rheinfeldt for someone else.

I suddenly find myself with a lot more energy and I’m out of bed in seconds. It’s only just after five so I’ll let Carmilla sleep a little longer. She really is not a morning person which makes me wonder sometimes why she decided to teach high school. I take a quick shower and set off to make breakfast for the two of us. I make up a batch of my favorite banana bread french toast with eggs and orange juice. As I’m setting out the plates on the table, Carmilla places a soft kiss on my shoulder before sitting down and yawning.

“Mornin’” she says while yawning again.

“Good morning, I expected to have to drag you out of bed.”

“Hmm, well I didn’t want to stress you out by making you late so I set an alarm. Plus, this smells great so I don’t think I could have slept longer anyway.”

“Babe, you could sleep through a category five hurricane in a five star restaurant.”

“You’re right,” she says before taking a sip of her juice.

“Well, thank you for thinking of me.”

“I always do.”

I bend down to kiss her on the cheek while she’s already finishing that glass of juice. She hums in appreciation while reaching to the back of my thigh and squeezing it gently. I head back to the kitchen to get the rest of our breakfast and some more juice for Carmilla. We enjoy our breakfast together with occasional sticky syrup kisses and clean up before getting ready for the day. I think I’ve had my outfit picked out since last summer, but I don’t dare tell Carm that because I know she would make fun of me. This outfit is so perfect though. It’s a navy suit with a silver blouse that fits tight enough to not look ridiculous but not tight enough to be scandalous. I’m pairing it with killer heels that won’t make me want to cut my legs off at the knee by the end of the day and sensible, yet fashionable earrings. I braid my hair into a fishtail that drapes over my left shoulder and apply some very modest make-up. My goal is to look professional, but not like an old lady either and I think I’m pulling it off well enough.

I walk out of the bathroom to find Carmilla in a long sleeve black shirt and those leather pants of hers. I never thought that a pair of pants could look so good on someone, yet here we are.

“Wow Cupcake, you look incredible.”

Carmilla moves over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and I quickly followed with my hands on her collar bones.

“Thank you. You look… uh.”

“What? Is there something on my shirt or something?”

“Haha, no. You look more beautiful than ever. I just didn’t think we could wear leather pants to school...”

“Probably not, but I don’t really abide by trivial things such as a dress code so I pretty much wear what I want. Mother can suck it.”

“Oh, well that works too.”

Carmilla leans in to kiss me but before things get too intense, I do the responsible thing and pull back causing her to groan in disapproval. As much as I want to make out with my girlfriend and rip those leather pants of hers off right now, I will not be late for my first day of school.

* * *

 

I wasn’t really nervous until we pulled into the parking lot. It’s already 6:40 and I can’t work up the courage to open the stupid car door. Of course I’m excited to meet my students, I’m just afraid that I’m going to mess something up or they’ll hate me. I have that black hole kind of feeling in the pit of my stomach and I think I might be shaking.

“Laura, are you ok? You’re shaking.”

Yep, well that answers my question.

“I… uh. I think so.”

“Laura...?”

“I guess I’m just nervous. What if I mess up?”

“Cupcake, everything is going to be fine. You are more prepared than any new teacher I’ve ever seen.”

“I know, it’s just that-“

“They’re going to love you.”

“You think?” glancing over toward her.

“Without a doubt. I love you so I don’t understand why they wouldn’t too,” Carm says while reaching for my hand. I slide my fingertips down the underside of her wrist and lace my fingers with hers.

“I love you so much. Thank you for everything.”

“You’re very welcome. I should be the one thanking you, though.”

“For what?” I say with a confused look.

“Well, I will gladly to tell you tonight but right now we have some children to educate,” she says while squeezing my hand and pulling it closer to her.

“Oh, right. Yea. We should probably go, huh?” I say as I turn toward the door.

“Wait.”

I suddenly feel her hand on my cheek, pulling me back toward her and into the sweetest kiss imaginable. There was nothing but pure adoration and support being communicated here and my head is spinning. When we pull back, Carm leaves her hand on my cheek and looks deep into my eyes.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you and you’ll be great today. See you during planning?” she says while gently tracing my cheekbones.

“Thanks, Carm. Yes, I’ll see you during 5th period.”

We get out and walk toward our building, making sure to keep an honest distance between us. Of course we’re not embarrassed of each other or anything, it’s just that teenagers are quick to pick up things like this. The last thing we want is to be the subject of all gossip around the school because it could possible make it back to the principal. We definitely don’t want that.

I’m now standing alone in my classroom. I already had everything that I’m going to pass out set aside and ready to go so I’m just waiting for the students to start coming in. I’m really nervous but I think it’s a good kind of nervous. The butterflies in my stomach have turned into birds of prey, my chest is tight, and my hands are numb but it honestly feels great. I have never felt more alive than I do in this moment. It kind of feels like that fight or flight mentality, but amplified by a hundred times. I’m pretty sure that I have more adrenaline in my veins than actual blood and I finally feel ready. I’m ready for whatever comes my way today and I will not fail. I have prepared my entire life for this moment. Time to girl the hell up and change kids’ lives.

The bell rings to tell the students to head to first period. I head to the doorway because I’m making a point to greet every student on the way into my class. I want them to feel welcome and safe and it starts with my first interaction with them in the day. As I’m standing there, students start trickling in and I offer them genuine smiles and “good mornings” while trying to keep my composure. I’m so excited I might be shaking but I don’t know. I can already start seeing their personalities as they walk through the door. Some of them are bright-eyed and excited for the start of school and some of them are barely conscious and extremely pissed off. This should make for a very interesting home room.

I glance down the hall toward Carmilla’s room and she’s actually standing at her door too. It seems like everyone in this building is doing it and since it’s not a requirement, that’s pretty cool. I smile in her direction and she gives me that half grin with a raised eyebrow, making those birds in my stomach go on the offensive. I’m pulled out of my trance by an overzealous girl standing in front of me.

“Good morning! I’m Abigail Stillinger and I’m heavily involved with the journalism department here at Silas. I just wanted to welcome you and say hello.”

“Well good morning, Abigail. I am Ms. Hollis but you probably knew that already.”

“Haha, yes. I’m really excited that you’re here. I’ve read a lot of the articles you published in the SU newspaper and I’m a big fan of your work. You’re exactly what we need to take our department to the next level.

“Oh, well I’m very flattered. I’m very excited to get started and really turn things around.”

“Me too! Well, I have your first period so I guess I’ll see you inside. It’s nice to meet you Ms. Hollis.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” I say with a smile and then look over to Carmilla. She’s laughing at me and I look at her with wide eyes. This girl is going to be something else, but I have a feeling that she’s going to be the heart of my program. She reminds me a lot of myself at her age if I’m being honest.

The late bell rings and all the teachers close their doors in unison to start the day.

“Good morning everyone and welcome to Classics of British and American Literature. I am Ms. Hollis and I’ll be your new teacher. Welcome back. We won’t have any seating charts in here so you may sit where you like as long as your work is completed.”

I see a couple head nods and looks of approval at that comment so things are going well so far. I pass out the syllabus for the class and their journals. We spend the first fifteen minutes of class going over the syllabus, required materials and course calendar. I don’t hear much complaining because I’m intentionally trying to not overload them with unnecessary projects. My goal is to foster their love and appreciation for these great works and to teach them to be able to express their thoughts and opinions articulately.

“For the rest of class, I want you all to start your first journal entry. This is something that we will do a lot in here.”

I see eyes rolling and hear groaning from the back of the class which was to be expected. A lot of the students seem excited about this class, but there’s always going to be a handful that are going to be difficult.

“I know, I know. Writing sucks, right?”

They look at me like a herd of deer caught in headlights and I have to stifle a laugh.

“Look, I get it. Writing all the time sounds super boring and so not what you’re into. I don’t want you all to write just for some curriculum standard that we have to meet, or because I secretly hate you and want to ruin your lives. I want you to write because I want to know who you are. I want to learn your opinions on The Twelfth Night and the wild love triangle between Viola, Olivia and Orsino with a side-order of Sebastian, I want to hear you talk about how much of a Moby Dick Captain Ahab was for casting a spell on the crew of the Pequod and forcing them to join the crew of anti-Whale Wars, and I just want to learn about what literature truly speaks to you. Trust that I’m not going to assign you more than is necessary to pass the course.”

Hearing a bit of laughter, I look out at the students and most of them are definitely smiling. I’m not sure how long this is going to last, but I think I won them over for now. I really hope so.

“So, I want you to write about three topics in this entry. First, I want you to write about yourself. Tell me what you’re passionate about and what you want to do in the future. Second, tell me what your favorite works of famous literature are. If you can’t really think of any, think of anything you like to read and tell me all about it. Third, tell me what you want to get out of this class. I won’t be collecting the journals until Friday and we are only doing three entries per week so you have time to work on it. Any questions?”

This young man with the brightest socks I have ever seen on raises his hand.

“Uh, yea. How long does it have to be?”

“Oh, right. Each topic must be a minimum of seven sentences long. So three good paragraphs for this entry.”

A girl in a tank top and combat boots with long blonde hair raises her hands next.

“Yea, well if we can’t think of any literature or whatever, can we write about our favorite fanfiction?” She says while laughing with a friend behind her.

“Absolutely, as long as you keep you summary school appropriate. There are a lot of great young writers out there that use fanfiction as a medium to express themselves and they deserve recognition too.”

She looks back at me with a shocked face and I just return it with a sweet smile.

“Any other questions?” I say while looking around the room.

A very quiet and timid girl in the back raises her hand just enough for me to see.

“Yes, dear?”

“Um, is anyone going to read these?” She says while sinking even further into her desk.

“I will be the only person to read your entries. I promise.”

I see the ghost of a smile touch her lips before she looks away from me. I can tell that she has a lot to say, but she never has a safe opportunity say it. I hope these journals will be good for her.

“Well, unless you have any more questions, please begin your writing.”

The next thirty minutes fly by. I notice that a few of the kids have already finished, but the majority of them are still working. Abigail is writing so fast, I’m worried that her notebook might catch on fire. Some of the kids are just writing with their heads on the desk while others stare blankly at the wall. The quiet girl, her name is Paige, is writing just as fast as Abigail if not even faster.

The bell rings and most of the kids pack up and walk out without saying a word. Abagail doesn’t move a muscle and I realize that I have her for my second period Narrative Journalism class. Paige hasn’t moved either, but it’s because she’s still writing. I don’t think she even realized the bell rang.

I walk over to her and sit in the desk in front of her, turning to face her.

“Paige sweetie, the bell rang to go to second period.”

“Oh, sorry. I just got caught up. I’ll go,” she says while frantically putting her things away.

“It’s ok, no need to worry. I just didn’t want you to be late to your next class. Are you ok?”

She looks at me like I’m speaking in tongues or something.

“Um, I’m fine. Thank you,” she spills out while she rushes around me to leave.

That was weird.

* * *

The next part of the day goes just as well. So far I’ve had Classics of British and American Lit, Narrative Journalism, AP British Lit, and Intro to Yearbook. It’s the first day so I continued my plan of reviewing the syllabus and starting them on their journals. My yearbook classes won’t have these journals because the deadlines are so crazy and we simply don’t have the time so their first assignment is a review of the Silas yearbooks from years past. I want them to see the strengths in their previous designs but also see how can improve the yearbook for this year. I haven’t had any behavior problems and all the students have been really nice so it’s a great first day so far. I could not be happier.

It’s now 5th period and all the teachers in my building have planning which Carm told me is basically an extended lunch period. I’m walking around the room to pick up a few pieces of paper and pencils that were left behind when Carmilla walks in the room.

“Ms. Hollis, how is your first day treating you?” she says while closing the door behind her.

I laugh and say, “It’s been great actually. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine; tired, hungry, and a bit annoyed by apathetic teenagers. You know, living the dream.”

She walks over and wraps me in a hug that I didn’t realize until now that I needed. Before she can pull away, I pull her in even more and lay my head on her chest to breathe her in. I can feel her humming and she kisses my hair.

“What was that for?” she says.

I pull back to look at her, “I don’t know, I guess I just missed you is all.”

“Hmm. I missed you too, Cupcake. That’s why I’m here. Come over here and sit. Let’s eat,” she says while taking my hand and pulling me to my desk.

We sit and eat for a while. She tells me all about her classes she’s had so far. I didn’t know it until now, but Carmilla’s actually the department chair and teaches some really difficult classes. Already today she’s had AP European History, two AP World History classes, and A Study of Medieval History. From what I can tell, the students here love her because her classes are completely full and they seemed to leave happy. I knew she was really smart, but I had no idea how intelligent Carmilla really was and it makes her even more attractive which I didn’t think was possible.

I tell her all about my classes and how the day has gone so far. I tell her about Abagail and how excited about every single thing that I say. It’s kind of overwhelming, but it’s also really sweet. I tell her about Paige and how she stood out to me today. Carm says that she’s had Paige in a few classes before and she’s really quiet, but brilliant. That sounds about right.

We’re finishing our lunch or PB, J and banana sandwiches when there’s a knock at the door. I go get the door and I’m kind of surprised to see Danny standing there.

Hey, Danny! Come in,” I say while stepping out of the way to give her room.

“Thanks, Laura. How are you?”

“I’m doing very well. How are you?”

“I’m great.” She glances over toward Carmilla who’s still sitting on my desk. “How’s it going, Karnstein?”

“Fine, thanks. What brings you here?” Carmilla says while slipping down into my chair and propping her feet up on my desk.

“Actually, I came here to apologize. I should have done this at dinner the other night but there were so many people. Laura, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t realize that you and Carmilla were a real thing and I crossed the line. I didn’t mean anything by it and I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Danny. Everything is all good now, but I really appreciate it.” I said with an earnest smile.

“Ok, well I’ll leave you two to finish your lunch. I’ll see you later,” she says with a shy wave.

“Bye, Danny.” I say while turning back toward my desk.

“That was nice of her.”

“I told you that Lawrence is actually a good person, she’s just overly competitive and that’s why she was acting so weird. She’s a good friend,” Carmilla says while standing to give me my seat back.

The bell rings to indicate that sixth period is coming. We only have two more classes and an after school faculty meeting and then we can go home. Don’t get me wrong, today has been amazing but I am pretty tired and I can’t wait to go home. Carmilla just squeezes my shoulders since some of my students have already come in and heads toward the door.

“Thanks for your help on that thing, Ms. Hollis” Carmilla says with a stupid smile on her face.

“You’re welcome, Ms. Karnstein. See you at the meeting.”

“Yes,” she says while walking out the door and letting her hand linger on the door frame.

I smile to myself and feel the blood rush into my cheeks. Get ahold of yourself, Hollis. You are at work and these kids aren’t stupid. I look up and I’m pleasantly surprised to see Paige again in her same seat. This is my Composition II class so I’m starting to wonder just how interested in writing this girl really is. She’s looking at me with a tiny smile, looks at the door and then back down to her desk. I’m not sure what that was about since she made every effort to avoid my eye contact in first period, but whatever.

This class goes by without incident and this group is actually excited about writing, considering that it’s the whole reason they signed up for the class to begin with. I’m particularly excited about the short story project that they’re going to do later in the semester after we’ve laid some foundation for their writing techniques. My last class of the day is Advanced Yearbook and let’s just say that I’m not surprised to see Abigail front row center. This class will also be reviewing yearbooks from the past to begin with. I designed a spreadsheet for them to categorize what we can pull from each book and what we definitely don’t want to use again. This should take them a few days to complete.

The final bell rings for the end of the day and I am relieved to say the least. I mean, I could not have asked for a better first day but I’m also glad that it’s over. It’s really stressful having to filter every thought that develops in your brain to make sure that it’s not only politically correct but also intellectually stimulating. This is going to take some getting used to for sure. I shut down my laptop, clean up and lock my door to head for the Auditorium where we’re having the faculty meeting.

I arrive at the front door of the Auditorium lobby to find Carmilla waiting there for me.

“Hey Cupcake, you survived. Congratulations.”

“Haha, very funny. How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here. How did sixth and seventh go?” she say while opening the door for me to walk through.

“Great. I seem to have a lot of really bright students and they’re all fairly nice. I think it’s going to be a good year.”

“See, I knew they would love you. How could they not?” she says while we sit down toward the back. We’re then joined by Danny, Elsie, Sarah Jane and some other teacher I haven’t met yet.

The grin I have stretched to each ear from Carmilla’s sweet words and I’m suddenly angry that we’re in a room full of our colleagues because I can’t kiss her.

“Thanks Carm,” is all I can get out without sounding like a love-sick teenager.

LaFontaine walks in and stands by the door, obviously not sure of where to sit. I wave them over and a look of relief rushes over their face.

“Hey, LaF! How was your first day?”

“It was great. I had my students do an experiment where they extracted their DNA from their cheek cells and put it in a bag to take home. A lot of them thought it was super gross but some of them thought it was cool. Overall a good day I guess. Did you survive the first day ok?”

“That’s great, LaF. I had a great day too. All my students are really nice so far.”

Before I could continue, Principal Morgan’s voice come crashing through the speakers. Carmilla immediately freezes and every muscle in her body tenses up. I brush up against her side enough to let her know I’m there and after a moment she relaxes a bit.

“Good afternoon everyone, thank you for a very successful first day. In all my years at Silas, this was definitely one of the smoothest opening days I’ve seen and the administration could not have done that without you. Thank you for all your hard work last week and today. The students were in their classes, we had minimal behavioral disruptions and everyone went home safe. In my world, that makes for a good day. We have some logistical things to go through this afternoon, but you’ll be out of here by your contract time. Have a good afternoon.”

She leaves after handing the microphone to Mr. Vordenburg to talk about testing data and new procedures. After her mother walks out the door, I see Carmilla finally take a deep breath. I know she’s my boss, but I’m starting to really hate this woman. All she has to do is be within ten feet of Carmilla and she is completely disarmed and it takes everything she has to not crumble to the floor. The worst thing that I could do would be to pity her, so I do everything I can to be strong and supportive. I don’t want to pressure her about anything because I can see that whatever’s going on between them is much deeper and darker than I can even begin to fathom. Everyone’s eyes are trained toward the stage so I give her thigh a light squeeze and a smile. Finally, she came back to me.

* * *

 

We’re walking toward the car after the most boring meeting ever finished when I hear LaF calling after me.

“Hey! Laura!”

I stop and turn to face them.

“Yea, what’s up?”

“Perr wants you to call her to talk about wedding stuff. I know we still have a while but you know how she is.”

“Yea, I know. I’ll call her tomorrow ok?” I laugh.

“Great, see you later.”

“Bye, LaF.”

When I turn back around, I see Carmilla standing at my door holding it open for me. Her chivalrous qualities are very endearing. I’m so lucky.

I walk over and brush my hand over her lower back as I get in the car, being subtle enough for no one to really be able see.

“Thanks you,” I say while setting my things down on the floor of the car.

“You are quite welcome,” she says while gently shutting my door and making her way around the car.

She gets into the driver’s seat and immediately turns the car on and puts the air conditioning on full blast. It’s really hot outside and neither of us are really dressed appropriately for the occasion.

“Ready to go home?” I ask.

“Home?” Carmilla says while moving her hands from the steering wheel to her thighs and looking over at me.

“Yea, home. My apartment,” I declare.

“Oh, yea. I thought for a second that… never mind. I’m definitely ready.”

“Let’s go then,” I say as I reach over to place my hand on top of hers.

We make our way through downtown with only minor traffic inconveniences. Carmilla really is an impatient driver and it one of my favorite things about her. She gives ever driver that makes her mad a hilarious nickname, usually based on their license plates or bumper stickers. Some of my favorites so far have been “one-woman baby cannon” and “Louisiana flip-flop douche.” She yells at them like they can hear every words and they’re going to listen. It is honestly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen, but I don’t dare tell her that.

We get back to my apartment and I’m so happy to be home I practically raced Carm to the front door. Once we get inside and lock the door behind us, I can feel myself relax. She heads for the fridge to get some water and I can’t wait to change my clothes so I head to the bedroom. I love this outfit, but shorts and a tank top are much more comfortable.

Throwing my sleep clothes onto the bed and take off my jacket and blouse and set them on the bed to so I can start on my pants. Just when I get the button unfastened, I feel Carmilla’s arms slink around my stomach and her press herself into my back. She moves my hair to one shoulder and nuzzles into my neck, dropping light kisses while she squeezes me even tighter. A soft moan escapes my lips and I can’t help but lean into her.

“You. Feel. So. Good.” Carmilla says in between neck kisses.

I spin around in her arms, placing my hands on her shoulders and lean in for a long kiss. I know I’ve seen her a couple times throughout the day, but I still feel like I missed her. She apparently feels the same way based on the way her mouth is moving so expertly against mine and breathing in every breath that I’m exhaling into her. It doesn’t take me very long to melt into her due to her wandering hands all over my back and hips. I never really thought that I was the kind of person who liked to be touched by anyone, but Carmilla’s hands are just so… talented. I can’t get enough of her touch.

We stand there and kiss for a while before she finishes the work I started on pants, letting them fall to the floor. She picks me up without effort and places me gently on the bed, quickly following to reconnect our wanting lips. Just when things are getting good, she pulls back with tired eyes and quickly peels her clothes off and crawls back onto the bed and wraps herself around me with her tucked under my chin.

“Everything ok?” I ask, not really sure of why she stopped.

“Yea, I just need to be close to you right now,” she says as she pulls me even tighter against her.

I wrap my arms around her back and trace her bones with my fingers.

“I’m right here,” I breathe.

“I know, I just…”

“It’s ok, I’m right here. Did something happen today?”

“Everything’s ok, I guess I just missed you. Ridiculous, I know.”

“I felt the same way when I saw you at lunch. Don’t feel so bad,” I say while hugging her tighter.

She props herself so she can look at me and her eyes have gone soft from the smile pulling at them. Instead of responding to me, she leans in for a kiss and I swear she’s a taste of heaven right now. We make out for a while but end up just holding each other until we get hungry enough to go make dinner. Don’t get me wrong, sex with Carmilla is earth shattering and life changing but these moments with her are sometimes even better. Being this intimate with someone else is unparalleled; communicating through looks, touches, kisses, hugs, and breaths all without saying a word. Every bit of stress and anxiety I had has melted away and I feel brand new.

Carmilla helps me make a dinner of roasted chicken, yellow rice, a sweet potato mash with a little bit of hummus on the side and by helping I mean she occasionally stirred the rice but mainly kept touching my butt and making fun of the way I cut up the chicken. She likes to think she’s funny and I have to agree… most of the time.

We ate our dinner, and watched some season four Buffy before it was late enough to get ready for bed. Since Carmilla materializes within twenty feet of unwashed dishes, she’s already gone to the bedroom while I stay behind to finish cleaning up. When I finally get to the bedroom myself, I’m surprised to see that she’s nowhere to be found. I go into the bathroom and there she is.

“Hey, Cupcake. A bath sounded like a good idea.”

“Hmm, it seems so.” I say as I lean up against the door frame.

“You should come over here.”

“Should I?”

“Yes, you should join me in this tub.”

“Oh yea?”

“Yup, now get over here before I come get you and we have a big mess to clean up.”

“Ok, ok.” I say as I slide my shorts down my legs and letting them pool down at my ankles. I step out of them and walk over to the tub while taking my shirt off along the way ad tossing it on the floor. I’m standing at the edge of the tub so I lean over, bringing my face inches from Carmilla as I slide my underwear to the floor making to keep enough distance between us to be frustrating. Standing back up, I feel her hand reach around and squeeze the back of my thigh and I jump a bit because my god that feels so good. I quickly take my bra off and slide into the tub in front of Carmilla. She wraps her arms around me and mine are resting on her legs.

We just sit there for a while and let the weight of the day disappear into the water. After a while, she leans me forward and gently washes my neck, my back, my arms and chest. This feels so good, I think I don’t ever want to shower or bathe by myself ever again but that’s just impractical.

Carmilla pulls me out of the water and wraps me in a towel before I can even reach for one. We get back into our sleep clothes and finish out nightly routines before falling into bed. She’s normally all over me, taking my clothes of every time we’re behind closed doors but something is off today. It’s not that I mind her holding me close and kissing me sweetly by any means, it’s just that her behavior has suddenly changed and I feel like something’s wrong.

“Hey, Carm?”

“Yea, Creampuff?” she whispers into my chest.

“Is everything ok with you today? You seem to be bothered by something. I didn’t upset you did I?”

“No, no, no. It’s not you at all.” She sits up so she can see me. “It’s just, I got an email from mother during seventh period today.”

She looks down to avoid my eyes.

“Hey,” I say as I place my hand on her chin to pull her back up to me. “What happened?”

“Um, she wants to go to dinner.”

“Oh god, that’s horrible. I’m sorry.”

“It gets worse.”

“How so?”

“She wants to go to dinner with the both of us. I guess she’s not going to give up.”

“When are we going?”

“I haven’t answered her yet. I wanted to talk to you first but I couldn’t bring myself to get the words out all afternoon. This is the last thing I want to subject you but I know she won’t stop asking.”

“I’ll go as long as you’re there with me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Baby, it’s ok. Honestly. I know I don’t like her, but I will put up with her if it will make your life any easier. We can handle this, together.”

“Ok, I’ll email her in the morning. Right now let’s just forget about it,” she says and leans down to kiss me sweetly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Cupcake. More than you’ll ever know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. You're all incredible people. :)


	11. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura go to dinner with the principal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took a while. This chapter was really hard for me to write. I had to fight through a lot of memories on this one but it's helping me work through my own demons. Thank you for reading this. It really means a lot to me.
> 
> Huge shout out to DBAS15 for helping me with this one and generally encouraging me to push through this chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> -moniac87

**Carmilla POV**

I woke up earlier than Laura this morning which is most definitely out of the ordinary. Holy shit, did we oversleep!? I glance over at the clock and oh god it’s seriously only 4:30? What kind of cruel hell do I have to be living in to be awake at this hour? It’s bad enough that I teach high school and I have to be awake so early but 4:30 is just absurd. Great, now I have to pee.

I’m walking back into the bedroom and I see Laura stirring in the sheets.

“Carm? Where are you?” she asks with a sleepy voice.

“I’m right here, Cupcake. I just had to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, well come back to bed. I’m cold.”

I slide under the covers and wrap myself around Laura, breathing her in and realizing just how lucky I am to have her. I love the way she squeaks when she yawns, I love the way she buries her face into my chest when she’s tired, I love the way she shivers under my touch; I just love everything about Laura Hollis.

“Mmmm, you feel so good.” She whispers into my collar bones.

She kisses my shoulder and pulls me closer to her (which I didn’t think was possible) and I feel her hands beginning to wander.

“Cupcake, what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she says before placing an open mouth kiss at the base of my neck.

“Laura, it’s 4:30 in the morning. Don’t start something that you may be too tired to finish.

“You’re one to talk, sleepy head. I know exactly what I’m doing. Are you complaining?” she says before pulling back to look at me.

“Hell no,” I say as I lean to kiss her until she’s breathless. If she’s going to start this, I’m going to finish it. She may not be tired now but she will be.

I slide down her body while pulling up her shirt, tracing a line from below her belly button to the base of her neck with my tongue before going in for another kiss. The noise that come out of Laura’s mouth is raw and primal. I don’t think I have ever been more turned on in my life. I slide her shirt all the way to her wrist and she tries to help me the rest of the way but I have a better idea. I tie the shirt around her wrists and place a pillow on top of them.

“Is this ok?” I ask.

“Mhm,” Laura lets out surrounded by another moan while nodding so fast I fear she may get whiplash.

“Good. If you touch me, I’ll have to start over from the beginning and we’re going to be late for work. If you can do that, I will make it worth your while. Can you do that for me?”

“God yes. Just touch me, Carmilla.”

Laura is practically writhing underneath me. I’m not even touching her yet and I swear she’s going to come any second. I lean down and blow cool air onto her left breast and she cries out almost as if it were painful. I softly trace my fingertips down her arm, then her waist and slide back up her thigh causing her to buck her hips into me involuntarily because she is about to explode if I don’t give her the friction she wants.

“Carmilla please, I need to touch you. I can’t take it.”

“Shh, baby. If you’re patient, I will give you everything you want. Do you trust me?”

“You know I do, I just… please just fuck me already. I’m going crazy here.”

I laugh before leaning in to kiss her. This kiss is anything but soft and sweet; it’s hungry and needy, communicating every bit of desire and lust that we share between us. When I pull back, I slide my knee in between her legs and press down hard. Laura lets out a guttural moan and her eyes roll so far back into her head, her pupils and iris disappear completely. I rock my hips into her agonizingly slow, pulling every delightful sound I can out of her.

“Mmmh. Fuuuck. Carmillllaaaaa,” Laura moans while pushing back into me.

The sound of my name leaving her lips is all I need and I’m now the impatient one. I take off my shirt and underwear before her eyes roll back into reality. I tear her underwear off, throw the pillow and shirt constricting her hands to the floor and settle myself down on her thigh. We start rocking our hips together, slipping and sliding while climbing our way toward climax together. It’s getting really hot and messy but I honestly don’t give a shit because my god this feels so good.

Laura grabs my hips to pull me closer, giving her the friction she needs. We’re riding and grinding so fast, getting closer and closer before I hear Laura cry out my name while digging her nails into my hips. That’s all I needed and we come together, rocking and jerking into each other while we ride it out.

I flop down beside her as we both try to capture the breaths we’ve been fighting so hard to lose.

“That was… wow,” Laura says between labored breaths.

“Yea, thanks for uh… starting it,” I say.

We laugh together and just lay there for a moment before I remember that we actually have to go to work today. Shit.

“Cupcake, as much as I would like to stay here and play that on repeat all day, we kind of have to be to work in an hour.”

“Ugh, but I’m so tired.”

“Remember, you’re the one that started it. Besides, you’ve made it all the way to Friday. We just have to get through today and tonight’s dinner with my mother and then we can come back here lock ourselves away for the weekend.”

“Mmmm. Sounds good to me,” she says while throwing her arm over my stomach and kissing the skin above my breast.

“Come on, let’s go take a shower.”

Laura raises her eyebrow at me and I can’t help but smile at how insatiable she is sometimes. My god she’s so cute.

“Cutie, we don’t have time to take separate showers and we can’t fool around in there either. If we have to see my mother tonight, we can’t be late today. Come on,” I say as I lift us up and drag her toward the bathroom. She wines the entire way and I love it.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

My life right now is so surreal. I never thought that my life would fall into place so quickly after university. I mean, not too long ago I was peddling cupcakes for a bakery and spending my time off desperately applying for jobs. Now I’m sitting in my sixth period class while my students are working in groups to deconstruct “Apprehensions” by Sylvia Plath and they actually seem to be enjoying it. They are engaging in intelligent debates and some of them have even gotten so excited to express their point that I’ve had to ask them to lower their voice. I feel like I have waited my entire life for this and now that it’s here it almost seems too good to be true.

Not only has my professional life panned out, but my personal life has taken off as well. I am in love with the woman I’ve waited my entire life for. Carmilla is perfect; she’s kind, generous, extremely intelligent, hella sexy, compassionate, loving, and wildly hilarious. Every day when I wake up, I have to shake off the feeling that this is all a dream but when I look at the space next to me on the bed I remember that this is reality.

While my students are working, I’ve started reading some of their journal entries since today is collection day. I need to get a head start because I have a feeling that Carmilla’s not really going to want me do much work this weekend. After we spent every waking moment of those couple weeks before school started together, it’s been really hard on her to be apart from me for so long every day. It is honestly the most adorable thing and I love it.

Some of these journal entries are very interesting. There’s this boy Shane in my first period class that wrote about his summer experience. His parents made his go to a basketball camp because they are demanding that he become some star athlete when all he really wants to do with his life is become a film editor. He is so sad because he had to spend a month running back and forth in a gym with a bunch of sweaty kids every day instead of working on his real passion. He told me that he has to keep his involvement in the school’s tv program a secret from his parents because they would take him out in a heartbeat and that just breaks my heart.

Abigail wrote four pages about her internship at the local newspaper. She mainly got the journalists coffee and lunch but to her, this internship is the beginning of the rest of her life. She did have the opportunity to work on a couple of articles with someone that took her under their wing. I guess that person sees the same thing in Abigail that I do; a younger, hungrier version of themselves. While her behavior can be a little irritating, I understand where that energy and drive is coming from now. In another entry she told me a little about her home life. Her father left before her mother even gave birth to her and her mother became a severe alcoholic by the time Abigail was three because she resented her so much for being “abandoned by that piece of shit father of yours” as her mother likes to tell her every day. Abigail says she wants to go into journalism because she wants to tell other people’s stories because hers is so sad. You have to have respect for a girl like that.

The really interesting journal entry I’ve read so far has been Paige’s. This girls is true wordsmith and my god does she have a lot to say. She lives at home with both of her parents, but from what Paige says it’s absolutely unbearable. Yes, while her parents may be providing her with a nice home, clothes and other essentials, she says that she’s living in “an emotional hell impossible to escape.” She tells me that her parents are “super conservative bible humpers” that keep her at church on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights and all day on Sunday. She does not believe in the same things that they do but of course she’s terrified to tell them anything like that because they’ll organize another revival and have the congregation pray over her for days to try to “save my soul from the inevitability of hell for a sinner like me.” These people have the right to believe whatever they want to and I’m not judging them for that, it just kills me that Paige seems to be so heartbroken. She told me that she’s recently realized something about herself but is afraid to tell anyone. She doesn’t feel like she has her own voice and that is just so sad. Paige also told me that she thinks I seem really kind and she may be able to tell me one day but not right now. I hope she does because I would live the chance to be able to help her. It appears as if she may not have anyone else in her life that cares enough to do so.

The bell rang for the kids to leave and everyone runs out of the room because they only have one class period left separating them from the weekend. Well, everyone except Paige that is. She’s slowly packing up her things and just kind of staring at her desk.

“Paige, are you alright?” I ask, walking over to sit by her.

“Yea, thanks Ms. Hollis.”

“I’m glad, but you better get going. You might be late to Ms. Belmonde’s class again and we both know how well that would go.”

“Yea, I definitely don’t want that. I just really like it in here. I feel safe,” she says before looking back down at her desk.

“I’m really glad to hear that, Paige. You know, I might need some help organizing some literature for a project we’re doing in a couple of weeks. Do you think you would be interested in helping me next week?”

She looked up at me and I have never seen her look like this before. She’s looking at me with wide eyes and the most genuine smile.

“I would love to, I’m just not sure if my parents will let me. I will try my best because I really want to help you. You’re my favorite teacher, Ms. Hollis.”

“You’re very sweet, Paige. I would love the help but if it doesn’t work out, don’t worry. You better get going though. Ms. Belmonde will not be happy if you’re late.”

“Yea, you’re right. Thanks.”

She gets up and walks toward the door.

“Paige?”

She turns around and says, “Yea?”

“Have a great weekend, ok?”

“Thanks, you too Ms. Hollis.” She smiles.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

I would honestly rather put out a campfire with my face than trapped in this room for another 37 minutes trying to get these children interested in The Louisiana Purchase. Out of all the classes I teach, American History has to be my least favorite. None of these kids want to be in here but they have to since it’s a graduation requirement so they don’t make it easy on me. I just have to get through the rest of this class period and I can get Laura and take her home. I’m really not looking forward to tonight’s dinner with my mother, but at least Laura will be by my side.

“Alright everyone, who can tell me which country the United States bought this land from?” I ask.

I look around the room and get absolutely nothing.

“Anyone?”

Still nothing.

“Alright then, how about you with the yellow shirt. Any ideas?”

“Uh… France?” they guess.

“Yes! Yellow shirt kid is correct! Everyone take a note of their intelligence and excellent wardrobe selection skills because someone finally gave me a correct answer today. Good for you, kid.”

Every other kid in the class looks down sheepishly to avoid my eyes. I know I can be really intimidating in the classroom, but it works for me. I have the highest pass rate for those horrible standardized tests they are forcing us to administer in my department and my students are typically happy they learned a lot by the end of the year.

“Now, your homework for the weekend is to write a two page essay on the relations between these countries and how the leaders at the time came to this agreement. This will be due first thing on Monday and do not use Wikipedia as a source. I will know. Everyone understand?”

I get a few verbal responses but mainly just looks of disapproval but understanding. I allow them to get started on their research ideas for the remainder of class. They are actually working diligently when the bell rings because I think I may have scared them. They all go running out of the room and I can’t say that I’m upset about it.

We’re supposed to stay until 2:45 since that’s technically the end of our contract time, but I need to get out of here. I quickly shut down my computer, lock up my classroom and head over to Laura’s.

“Hey, Cutie. Let’s get out of here. I can’t stay in this building another minute,” I say as I walk into her classroom and close the door behind me.

I’m really surprised to see that kid Paige standing at Laura’s desk talking to her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you had company,” I say.

“It’s ok, Ms. Karnstein. I was just leaving,” Paige says to me and then turns to Laura. “Thanks again Ms. Hollis, I’ll see you on Monday. I still can’t believe they said yes.” She walks toward the door.

“You both have a good weekend. Bye,” Paige says before smiling up at me and walking out the door.

I walk over to Laura and give her a quick kiss.

“What was that all about?” I ask.

“Oh, nothing really. Paige seems to feel really safe in here and she needs someone to talk to so I asked her to help me with something after school on Monday.”

“See, this is why I love you. You are the most generous person I know.”

“Yea, I love you too. Let’s get out of here. It’s been a really long day,” she says while closing her laptop.

“Say no more, Cupcake. After you,” I say and gesture toward the door.

“Such the gentlewoman. I’m so lucky.”

Laura leans in for a kiss before walking out the door. She locks up and we head for the car.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

We spent the afternoon together in bed. We had a couple rounds of great sex, but mainly just laid there holding each other. Carmilla seems to be getting really nervous about tonight’s dinner and I don’t know how I can help her other than to be there for her. I don’t know very much about her relationship with her mother yet, but I can tell that it is not good at all. Her body language and mannerisms every time she even thinks about her mother, let alone sees her tells me a lot. Her entire body tenses up, her eyes go wide and she can’t seem to breathe. I hope that she will tell me more one day soon because I hate seeing her like this.

“Carm?”

“Yea, babe. What’s up?” she says while rolling over to look at me.

“Do you think we should get ready? We’re supposed to be at the restaurant in an hour.”

“Yea, I guess so.”

She looks so defeated and I just want to kiss her pain away. I love her so much and I hate seeing her so sad. I lean in to kiss her and she wraps her arms around my back, pulling me as close to herself as she can. We lay there for another couple of minutes kissing and I rub her back to try to sooth at least a little bit of her anxiety.

“Alright love, let’s get this over with,” she says before kissing me one more time and pulling me out of bed to get ready.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

I don’t know what my mother has planned for tonight’s dinner conversation, but if I’m being honest I am scared to death. Laura is by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and mother is hell bent on taking anything that brings me happiness away from me because she blames me for her own unhappiness. I know that my father leaving was not my fault, but that doesn’t stop her from blaming me for it. She is convinced that I was such a terrible child that he left her to get away from me. He left because she’s fucking crazy and always has been. Things only got worse for Will and me after he left and even now as an adult, she is still trying to ruin my life to get her revenge.

Mark my words, if she tries to do anything to Laura I swear that I will expose her for the piece of shit that she is and ruin her precious little career. This district will never vote for a superintendent that has a history of terrible child abuse and psychological torture. I’ve been ashamed of it all this time because I feel so weak and pathetic but I don’t care anymore what people will think of me. I will ruin her if she tries to hurt Laura in any way whatsoever. I will take my mother’s dreams away from her just like she has done to me.

We pull into the parking lot of the restaurant and I realize that I haven’t said much to Laura on the way over here. I’m just so scared and I’m afraid to let her see that.

“Babe, it’s going to be ok. I’m right here,” she says and reaches over to pull my hand into her lap.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just nervous. I don’t know what she has planned.”

I look at Laura and in an instant I can feel all my fear and anxiety melt away. She has this power to pull me out of my head and back to her. I don’t know what it is about Laura Hollis that is so calming, but I know that I need it. I need her.

“I know and I wish that I could do more to help you.”

“Laura, you have no idea what you do for me do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been sitting here stuck in my head the entire trip over here. All you had to do was look in my eyes and I don’t even remember what I was so upset about. I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do. You deserve everything good in the world. You are everything to me and I couldn’t imagine ever being without you. I love you.”

She reaches up to cup my cheeks and pulls me into a bruising kiss. I can’t believe that I have finally found someone as beautiful as Laura is inside and out. I can’t believe she’s mine. I pull back slightly and kiss her between the eyes.

“I love you too; to the moon and back. Let’s get this over with.”

I get out and walk around the car to open Laura’s door. Mother insisted that we meet at the most expensive restaurant in town. The prices don’t really bother me, it’s just that the food at The Perrodon kind of sucks; it’s way too gourmet for my taste. I would honestly rather have some wings and beer right now, but mother only accepts the best.

We walk in and the hostess takes us to our table and it looks as though we are the first to arrive. We’re only a few minutes early so mother should be here any minute.

“Wow, this place is incredible” Laura says while looking around. There is expensive artwork hanging on every wall, very expensive furniture and a huge fountain in the middle of the restaurant.

“Yea, it’s pretty fancy here but I’m not a huge fan of the food. This place is mother’s favorite but I always hated it.”

“Speak of the devil,” Laura says averting her eyes toward the door.

There is mother, in her bright red power suit and pretentious attitude. As the hostess is bringing her to the table, I can feel the bile rising in my throat and I am ready to run but I can’t move. Laura moves her hand to my thigh under the table and it calms me just enough to stop shaking. I get up from my chair to greet mother out of fear that if I don’t things will get much worse. Laura takes my cue and does the same.

“Hello mother,” I say and reach to kiss her on the cheek.

“Hello Carmilla, thank you for coming.”

“Hello Ms. Morgan. It’s nice to see you,” Laura says while reaching out her hand.

“Hello Laura, thank you for coming as well. Shall we sit?” mother says without extending her hand back to Laura.

We all settle in at the table and the waitress takes our drink orders. Laura and I both get water and mother orders the most expensive wine on the menu. Only the best for mother.

“So, how did you both fair in your first week?” mother asks, trying to sound like a civilized human being for once.

Laura spoke up first. “It was great, thank you. I am really loving my classes and I am so happy to be working at Silas. Thank you again for the opportunity.”

“You’re welcome, dear. When Carmilla came to my office to talk to me about you, I was very intrigued as to why she would speak so highly of an applicant. I just wish I would have known the truth as to why but everything is clear to me now.”

“My week was great, mother. My classes seem to be pretty bright this year,” I say to ty to change the subject. I did not like where that conversation was going.

“Good to hear, Carmilla. You could have a great future in education if you really wanted to but you insist on accepting mediocrity by staying in the classroom. I don’t know how I could have possibly raised such a lazy child.”

Laura grabs my hand because I had balled up my fists without realizing it. She pried open my fingers and is tracing hearts onto my palm and it calms me down just enough to not cry.

“I admire Carmilla’s dedication to her students. She is following her passion and I think that’s brave,” Laura says before lacing her fingers with mine and squeezing my hand.

“Well, that is certainly one way to look at it. I can see why Carmilla is fond of you.”

The waitress came back and took our dinner orders. Mother of course ordered surf and turf, I got beef wellington and Laura ordered salmon. I really hope the food gets here soon so we can get the hell out of here.

“Mother, why did you bring us here?” I ask.

“Right to the point, aren’t we Carmilla?”

“Just get on with it.”

“There is no need to be rude. Have I taught you nothing?”

“I’m sorry, mother. I just want to know what this is about.”

“What is it about? It’s about you two. I’m afraid that finding out about the true nature of your relationship second hand was very disheartening, Carmilla. I don’t know why you couldn’t just tell me the truth. After everything I’ve done for you, why did you have to keep this from me?”

“I didn’t think that you would approve, mother.”

“Well, you’re absolutely right Carmilla,” she states.

“What?” Laura says and squeezes my hand even tighter.

“She’s right, I do not approve of your relationship at all. As your boss, could you imagine how I feel to have two of my female employees dating each other, one of them being my own daughter, and having to deal with the repercussions?”

“What repercussions are you talking about? We’re not doing anything wrong here. There is nothing in our contract saying that teachers can’t date each other. There are literally four married couples that work at Silas together. How are we any different?” I ask, pushing the anger down.

“How are you any different? That’s funny, Carmilla. You’re different because you are my daughter and you are dating another woman that works for me. Do you know how that makes me look? You know I’ve never been ok with this… phase you’re going through and I am certainly not going to let it tarnish my reputation. Besides, we can’t allow the students thinking that this kind of behavior is ok. If your father only knew how you turned out. He would be so ashamed.”

Laura lets go of my hand and before she can say anything to mother, the waitress arrives with our food. It’s probably a good thing because I think Laura would have said something that would have gotten her fired on the spot. We eat in silence for a few minutes before Laura speaks up.

“Ms. Morgan with all due respect, like Carmilla said we are doing nothing wrong here. Our relationship is not going to affect your reputation in the slightest because we have nothing to do with your career. Only your actions can determine how people perceive you, not us.”

“Well, that was very brave of you. No one has ever really spoken to me that way before. You have quite the mouth on you. With that being said, I still feel the same way. We have to figure out what we’re going to do about your so called relationship.”

“Mother, don’t talk about her that way. I won’t allow it,” I say before taking a very large gulp of water.

“You won’t allow it? Who do you think you are? I hope you didn’t forget what you really are Carmilla. I hope you don’t think this thing you have with little miss optimism over here is going to last. She’s going to leave you like they all do.”

“She’s not going to leave me, mother. We’re in love and there’s nothing that you can do about it.”

Mother takes a bite of her lobster and then washes it down with her Pinot Noir before looking over at Laura. This is not going to be good.

“Is that true? Do you love her?”

“Yes, I love your daughter with everything that I am.”

“Well, isn’t that interesting. I have no choices left I’m afraid.”

Mother turns back to me.

“Carmilla, either you two end things with each other or I will have no choice to terminate Ms. Hollis here.”

“You can’t do that! We’re doing nothing wrong!” I shout, drawing the attention from everyone around us.

“On the contrary, I can do whatever I want. She is under a 90 day probationary contract that I can terminate at any time without any justification. You see Carmilla, once again I have all the power here and there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it.”

“That’s it, mother. I will not allow you to hurt me anymore and I’m sure as hell not going to allow you to do anything to Laura. I don’t care what it takes, but it’s over. You don’t own me anymore. You can’t lock me up, starve me or torture me to keep me down anymore. I don’t care what it takes but I promise that I will ruin you. Laura, we’re leaving.”

I throw some money on the table, grab Laura’s hand and drag her out of the restaurant without looking back. I have no idea what mother’s going to do but I don’t care anymore. I will not let her hurt Laura. We get to the car and once we are safely inside I completely break down. Laura reaches for me and pulls me into her arms and I sob so hard that I start to hyperventilate. I think I may be having a panic attack and I haven’t had one of those since college. Only mother can do this to me.

“Carmilla, it’s ok. We got out of there and I’m here. I love you. I won’t let her hurt you,” Laura whispers into my ear while she holds me and rubs circles into my back.

She continues to whisper “I love you” into my ear while I eventually come down from my panic. I never wanted Laura to see me like this but I’m so glad that she’s here right now. The last time this happened to me, I ended up getting really drunk and getting into a fight with some guy in a bar. I don’t remember what the fight was even about but I remember waking up in the hospital with a broken cheekbone and alcohol poisoning.

I finally take a full breath after an eternity of painful sobs and shallow breaths. Laura pulls back and wipes my tears and kisses me so softly.

“Come on, switch seats with me. I’ll drive us home, Laura says before kissing me again.”

She gets out of the passenger seat and walks around to my side. She opens the door and reaches for my hand. I stand up from the car and she wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a hug that I needed more than oxygen in this moment. After a minute of holding me, she takes my hand and walks me around the car, opens the door for me and closes it after I climb inside. Laura drives us home, looking over at me every few minutes to make sure I’m ok and I love her for it. She’s the first person in my life that has ever cared about me this much and I don’t know what I would ever do without her.

We finally get back to her apartment and I could not get inside fast enough. Laura closes and locks the door before heading to the kitchen to get us something to drink. I head straight to the bedroom, stripping everything but my bra and underwear and climb into bed.

“Laura, where are you?”

“Right here, babe.” She walks into the room with two glasses of water and sets them down on the night table.

She takes off her dress and climbs into bed with me. I wrap myself around her and hug her tight. We stay like that for a while, not saying a word to each other because we’re not sure of where to start.

“I’m sorry,” Laura says.

I pull back to look at her.

“What on earth are you sorry for?”

“I didn’t defend you in the way that I should. Your mother scares me and I couldn’t step up. I feel terrible.”

“Laura, are you kidding? I love that you want to defend me, but you don’t have to feel bad here at all. My mother is the devil incarnate and you heard what she said. If you had said any more than you did, she would have probably said worse. I’m sorry that you had to see all that. I promise I won’t let her do anything to you.”

“How? She’s right about the probationary contract. She can fire me tomorrow if she wants to.”

Tears start streaming down Laura’s face and I can’t bear the thought of my mother tearing Laura’s hopes and dreams away from her. She has worked her entire life for this job and I will not let mother ruin that.

“I have something I could use against her, but it will change everything for me if I bring it up. I’m scared, Laura.”

Laura pulls me in for another hug and squeezes me tight before pulling back.

“Baby, it’s ok. I’m here. She can take my job and everything else that I have except you. It’s you and I forever and your mother can’t do anything to change that.”

“I want to tell you, I’m just afraid that you’ll see me differently. I’m afraid to lose you, Laura.”

“Carm, there is nothing that you could ever say that would make me walk away. I love every part of you, even the parts of yourself that you may hate. You can tell me anything, but please know that you don’t have to until you’re ready.”

I sit up on the bed and pull her up with me. I think that I’m ready to tell everything that happened because I have a feeling that I’m going to have to protect her from mother and Laura deserves to know the entire truth. If I’m really going to start a life with her, she needs to know.

“Ok, I’m going to tell you something that may change how you look at me, but I think it’s time that you know.”

Laura reaches out and grabs my hands and holds them in her lap. Here goes nothing.

“My childhood was pretty grim to say the least. My father ran away with some woman when I was four and my brother was two and my mother is convinced that it’s my fault. She blames my brother to an extent, but she seems to take most of her aggression out on me. She used to tell me that if I weren’t an ‘insufferable little slut’ that my father wouldn’t have left. When we were little, if I did anything remotely wrong she would either lock me in a closet for days with no light, food or water. There were a couple of times that I was close to dying of dehydration but I somehow survived. I remember when it first started happening, I would claw and scratch at the door until I had ripped my finger nails off and bled all over myself and the door. My voice is so raspy to this day because of the years of screaming for help at the top of my lungs. My brother would try to help me when he got old enough to understand what she was doing to me and that’s when she started to abuse him too. She would use starvation as her main punishment for the both of us. We would sometimes go days and a few times even weeks without food while she would cook these elaborate meals for herself and eat them in front of us just to make it worse. My brother has memory issues even now from being malnourished for so long. She never really hit us or anything, but I think that what she did was bad enough.”

There are hot tears streaming down my face and when I finally get the strength to look up at Laura, she’s crying too.

“This is why I’m so afraid of her, Laura. Whenever I’m in the same room as her, I’m afraid that she’s going to throw be back in that closet and forget about me for good. By the time I was a teenager, I prayed for death. Dying would have finally brought an end to my suffering but I never tried to kill myself because I couldn’t leave my brother behind. He would have gotten her full attention and I’m sure she would have finally succeeded in killing one of us. I feel so weak and pathetic for letting her control me all this time, but I’m just so afraid and I can’t help it.”

I break down again and Laura launches across the bed and wraps her arms around me, holding me tighter than she’s ever done before. We’re both crying and I feel like I’m going to fall apart if she doesn’t hold me together.

“Please tell me that you still love me. I can’t do this without you,” I say.

She pulls back with the most loving look on her face.

“Carm, of course I still love you. I love you more right now than I ever have before. I am so glad that you felt comfortable telling me this. I am so sorry that she did that to you and your brother. I don’t look at you any differently at all. You’re still the same strong, caring, intelligent and beautiful woman that I fell in love with before. I can’t believe that you made it through that hell and turned out to be so amazing. I can’t believe how strong and brave you were for sticking around to help your brother. I don’t know that I would have had enough strength to do that. What can I do? How can I help you? I don’t know what to do. She should be in jail, Carmilla. You know that, right?”

“I know she should, but by the time I got the courage to speak up the statute of limitations ran out and I couldn’t do anything. No one would help me. It was too late and she knew it. That’s why she still tries to control my life because she is working on becoming the superintendent one day and she wants to make sure that I keep my mouth shut. Laura, you already do so much for me. You have no idea. No one has ever really loved me before, but especially the way that you do. In my darkest moments, you are the only thing that can bring me out of it. The fact that you can love me, even though I am so damaged beyond repair is everything to me.”

“Carmilla, what your mother did to you is disgusting and criminal, but you are not damaged beyond repair. I see strength and beauty in you every single day. The statute of limitations may have run out on this, but there has to be something we can do, right?”

“That’s the plan. I want to expose her for the monster she really is. I have been so afraid all this time for people to find out because she made me feel like it would ruin my life too. She always told me that no one would believe me anyway and that I just need to abide by her rules to survive. I don’t care what happens to me anymore. Laura, you have finally given me a reason to fight and I am determined to take her down. I will not let her take anything away from you. You have worked your entire life for this job and I will not let her fire you because she’s mad at me.”

“Good, she deserves to go down. Please understand though that I could care less about my job right now. As long as I still have you, it doesn’t matter what happens to me. I love you and I’m ready to fight for you, even if that means losing my job.”

“I love you too. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you any sooner.”

“Don’t be, this is a part of your life that is not easy to talk about.”

She pulls me in for another hug and we end up falling onto the bed. I’m lying on my back with Laura partially on top of me. I don’t think I could ever get enough of this woman. I thought that I loved her before, but the fact that I can tell her about the darkest part of me and her love me even more just blows my mind. I don’t know what I did to ever deserve Laura Hollis, but I swear that I will never let her go.

“Laura?”

She props herself up so that she’s looking in my eyes.

“Yea?”

“I don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you for everything. I don’t think that I could survive another day without you in my life.”

“Well it’s a good thing that you don’t have to because you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried,” she says before smiling down at me.

Her smile does things to me that I never thought possible. My heart is racing and I feel like I can’t breathe. How could I be so lucky?

“You do realize that we spend every night together at this point right?” I ask.

“Yea, and that means what?”

“Well, it seems a bit ridiculous that you have an apartment and I have a house that stays empty most of the time.”

“What are you saying, Carm?”

“I think we should move in together. You know, only if you want.”

She rushes down and kisses me so hard our teeth knock together and quickly pulls back before squealing in excitement.

“Are you serious!? Of course I want to move in with you!”

“Perfect, we’ll plan to move your things in next weekend.”

“Wait, I thought you hated your house.”

“No, it’s not that I necessarily hate my house. I mean, of course there are some weird emotions there considering that it was my birth mother’s house but what I hated most about it was the lack of you in it. With you living there with me, things will be perfect. Think about it, you won’t have to pay rent anymore and you get to wake up next to me every day. How does that sound?”

“Perfect. It sounds like the beginning of the rest of our lives,” Laura says.

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” I say before pulling her back down into a kiss.

She lays her head on my chest and we fall asleep having forgotten for at least a moment about the battle we’re about to face with my mother. That fight will happen soon enough, but right now I can’t dream of anything else except living the rest of my life with my Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really grateful for everyone's continued support with this story. I didn't expect it go get so emotional but here we are. I love you all.
> 
> Find me at 2edge4u.tumblr.com and let's be friends!


	12. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla spend the weekend together before going into battle and go to dinner at LaF and Perry's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, if you haven't watched Across the Universe and Death Proof I recommend that you watch them immediately. Not only are they amazing films, but you will connect with this chapter a lot more.
> 
> \- moniac87

**Laura POV**

When we woke up this morning, Carmilla didn’t feel much like talking and I really can’t blame her. I told her to sleep as long as she wants to today and that I’ll be here when she wakes up so she just curled back up in bed. After everything that happened last night and everything she told me, I can’t imagine how she must feel. It’s taking every bit of strength I have to not call every news station I can get ahold of and expose her mother for who she really is but Carmilla has a plan and I have to trust that she’s right. She knows the real version of her mother better than anyone and she knows what needs to happen to take her down. All I can do at this point is support her in every way that I can while she fights this and be there to hold her when it all becomes too much.

It really breaks my heart that Carmilla has held onto this all her life without having anyone to help her through it. I mean, I know we haven’t known each other all that long but I love her and part of me wishes I would have known this earlier so I could have helped her more whenever she would shut down. I didn’t really understand what was happening at the time, but now that I look back everything is starting to become clearer. All the times I’ve heard her crying in her sleep, the times she could only give me one word responses, how she makes sure that we eat well even if I’m not hungry and especially how she doesn’t like to be alone for more than a few hours; it all makes sense. I don’t hold anything against her for not telling me by any means because this isn’t something anyone would want to talk about, but I just wish I could have helped her sooner. I just want her to be ok.

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed about falling in love. I saw the way my parents looked at each other and I couldn’t wait to share that with someone. While each of my fantasies were a little different than most girls my age, I still wanted the same things they did. I wanted to be swept off my feet and carried off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The difference between myself and the other girls is that the person sweeping me off my feet was not the typical knight in shining armor but a princess instead. I didn’t really expect to run into my princess, knocking everything out of her hands and making a complete ass out of myself while trying not to cry hysterically in front of her but looking back I wouldn’t have it any other way. The way Carmilla and I met is a part of our story and I wouldn’t change it if I could.

When I was younger, I didn’t really understand what really loving someone meant. I thought it was going to be all fluff and sweet moments, but the truth is that love requires so much more. Loving someone for who they are takes work; it takes you being selfless in a lot of situations, committed even when it’s hard, stepping out of your comfort zone for that person and being strong for them even when you’re ready to fall apart yourself. I’ve had a few relationships in the past, but none that really made me want to become a better person like my relationship with Carmilla does.

 For a while, I thought that my relationship with my most recent ex was going to be it for me. I thought that we were really in love but I soon found out that I was very wrong. Rachel was absolutely beautiful and fun to be around, but I think that I loved the idea of being in love with someone more than I was actually in love with Rachel herself. She was a somewhat successful trombone player that toward the end of our relationship started to travel a lot more for performance opportunities. It bothered me at first that she really didn’t keep in contact when she was on the road, but after a while I didn’t really care as much as I should have. I didn’t miss her anymore and I soon realized that I never really missed her in the first place. I just missed the feeling of not being lonely. As is turns out, she didn’t miss me much either and we decided to end things before one of us really hurt the other. She had ways of making me feel small and underappreciated without even realizing that she was doing it. She always had to protect me from everything that happened in my life without ever giving me a chance to fend for myself, even when I wanted to. I felt like I lost my voice and when Rachel and I ended things I was determined to never let that happen to me again. I learned a lot about myself and what I deserve in life from my relationship with her so I don’t regret it at all.

Now I have Carmilla, and she really is everything I’ve waited for. She validates my feelings, supports me in ways that aren’t controlling, encourages me to go for my dreams even when I already feel like a failure and is there to pick me up if I do fail. When I told her all about Rachel, she was nothing but understanding. It opened up a dialogue about what we both want out of life and our relationship with each other and I feel like we are so much stronger because of it. She told me about her ex, Ell. Carm said that she told her only a fraction of the things she’s told me about her past and that Ell couldn’t handle it. Ell actually told her that she “couldn’t stick around to fix Carmilla enough to want to be in a relationship with her.” How horrible of a person could you possibly be to say something like that? From what I can tell, Carmilla really loved this girl and was absolutely devastated when Ell left her. To Carm, it was just another person in her life to hurt her deeply so that’s why she has such a hard time opening up to anyone.

That’s the difference between what Carmilla and I have and what we’ve had with previous relationships. We don’t feel like we have to fix each other because we fell in love with each other for the person that they are. Of course Carmilla has gone through some horrible things in her life; things that I never thought were possible but the things that her mother did to her do not define her in any way. If anything, I want to help her take her mother down so she can finally feel free, not take off because the relationship isn’t easy. I just want to be there along the way as she begins to love herself again. I want to show her how much I care with every early morning kiss, late night walk to the corner store with my hand in hers for two liters of chocolate milk, every movie marathon in our underwear on the weekends and spontaneous road trips to nowhere. I know that things are going to get pretty intense in the next couple of weeks with her mother, but I’m not going anywhere. I don’t need to fight this for her because she is certainly strong enough to do this herself, but I will be by her side every step of the way.

It’s just after noon and I think Carmilla’s still sleeping. I’ve been up since before nine so I’ve caught up on some of the house chores I’ve been neglecting. So far today I’ve done the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, swept and mopped my ridiculously large floor and dusted a bit. I still need to vacuum but I don’t want to wake Carmilla. I decided to order us some lunch from her favorite sushi place downtown so that when she gets up, she’ll have something good to eat. Just as I’m getting off the phone and I’m about to leave to go pick up the food, I hear Carm stirring in the bedroom. I walk in to find her sitting up in the bed, looking out the window.

“Hey, babe. How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Hey. I’m feeling ok I guess. Come here,” she says while stretching her arms out to me.

I quickly walk over to the bed and into Carmilla’s arms. She pulls me down on the bed so that we’re lying next to each other, entwining her legs with mine and kisses my neck so softly.

We lay like that for a moment before she says “I feel much better now.”

I pull back, brush the hair out of her face and lean in for a chaste kiss on the lips.

“I ordered your favorite from Jordan’s Bistro and I was about to go pick it up. Why don’t you go take a shower and I should be back by the time you get out. We can eat and then do whatever you want to do today,” I say, giving her the sweetest smile I can conjure up.

She just stares at me for a moment, almost like she has a million things to say and she’s fighting to pick the right words.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you too, but where did that come from?” I ask.

“I don’t know, I just had a lot of bad dreams last night and to wake up to this reality with you is more than I could ever ask for. I just feel so lucky to have you, Laura.”

“Geez, and to think that all I had to do was buy you some sushi,” I say, giving her a wink.

She gasps in mock protest before I quickly add “believe me, I don’t want to be anywhere else but here with you. I’m sorry you had such bad dreams, but everything’s going to be ok. You’re awake now and they weren’t real. Now, go get your shower and I’ll be back before you know it.”

I lean in for a languid kiss before getting off the bed to only have her smack me on the ass on the way out.

“Hurry back, Cupcake.”

“I will. I promise.”

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that way that Laura makes me feel. Even in my darkest moments, when I truly feel dead inside she has this way of making me feel alive; more alive than I’ve ever felt before. She just has this intense passion about everything that inspires me to want to become a better person. The way that she never gives up, even when things get hard or something may scare her is a quality to be admired. She’s told me a lot of what she remembers about her mother. She told me about how her mother would sing to her when she was sad, how she would make Laura hot cocoa after a rough day at school, how she always put Laura first even when she wasn’t feeling well and how much she loved Laura and her father unconditionally. Laura told me once that she dreams of becoming as brave, strong and caring as her mother was, but she is already all of those things to me. She may not see that now, but I am determined to show her that no matter how long it takes. I have the rest of our lives together to prove that to her and I won’t give up until she believes me.

By the time I get out of the shower and get dressed in sweats and a tank top, I hear Laura coming through the front door.

“Carm, I’m back! You hungry?”

I walk into the living room and over to the kitchen area to find Laura standing on her toes to get some plates. Honestly, how can she be so cute? I just don’t understand it. I walk up behind her, wrapping one arm around her waist and stretching the other out to get the plates that are just out of her reach.

“Starving,” I breathe into her ear. I feel her shudder under my touch before sliding down the front of my body and back to the floor.

She turn around before saying “good, because I just spent a fortune on some raw fish.”

I set the plates down on the counter before wrapping her in both arms, pulling her closer and kissing her like we haven’t seen each other in days. A small moan escapes the back of her throat before she wraps her arms around my neck deepening the kiss. I could do this all day, but I actually am starving so I pull back much to Laura’s dismay.

“Thank you, this raw fish may be expensive but it’s delicious,” I say.

“Whatever you say,” Laura smiles and then picks up the plates to fix our lunch.

We spend about an hour at the dining table, eating and talking about what we wanted to do for the day. She asked if I wanted to get started on the plan with my mother but I don’t want to face that until I have to. It’s the weekend and I want to spend it with my beautiful girlfriend, not plotting to take down my worst enemy. I can do that on Monday. We decided to spend the day inside, watching all of our favorite movies and probably eating way too much junk food. We finish our lunch and Laura cleans things up while I run out to get said junk food. I think that ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, cocoa, and grape soda are a good start. We can always make another trip later.

When I get back, Laura has really outdone herself this time. She pulled the mattress from her bedroom out into the living room and essentially created a movie marathon fort for us to spend the day in. I didn’t think she could get any more adorable, but then I walk in on a scene like this.

“Do you like it? I mean I could always change it back but I wanted to do something special for you and I didn’t know what else to do since we’re just watching movies and I-“

“Cupcake, you’re rambling. I love it. It’s perfect, just like you.”

She beams the most genuine smile at me and I’m beginning to melt like the ice cream in my hands. After a quick kiss to her forehead, I move to the kitchen to put everything away. We did just eat lunch so we’ll get to the junk food when we’re ready.

“So, what’s on the program first?” I ask from the kitchen.

“Have you seen Across the Universe? It’s one of my favorites,” she says as I make my way over to the movie fort to join her.

“Nope, can’t say that I have. What’s it about?” I ask.

“Well, it’s a musical of sorts, but not the kind you’re probably thinking of. It’s a love story centered during the hippie counterculture movement of the late 60’s in California all set to the soundtrack of incredible Beatles’ remakes. The production value of the movie and music is impeccable and the female protagonist Lucy is just so great. She’s not afraid to go after what she wants in life and I just love her character so much,” she gushes.

“Sounds great, let’s do it.”

A while into this movie, I can understand why Laura loves it so much. First of all, Evan Rachel Wood is hot as hell and the character she plays is right up Laura’s alley. She grew up in a sheltered life, lost someone who meant everything to her at a young age, fell in love with Jude who was probably the last person she probably expected to fall for, basically ran away to start a new life despite what her parents wanted for her, gave her time endlessly to try to end the war and save her brother all while discovering how strong she really was. If that doesn’t sound like my Laura then I don’t know what does.

The music in this movie is pretty great too. I’ve always had a great appreciation for The Beatles as innovative song writers and as an inspiration for subsequent generations of musicians, but to hear their songs redone with modern production tools really opened my eyes and ears. I think my favorite song from the movie so far is “Because.” I wasn’t too fond of the original but this version is incredible. I wonder if I can find the soundtrack somewhere.

When we finish the movie, I look over to see that Laura’s crying.

“You ok there, Cutie?” I ask.

“Yea, this movie just gets to me. When Jude sees Lucy standing on the building across from him and they’re both crying I can’t help it. Did you like it?”

“Yea, I really did actually. The music was incredible.”

“It really is. I have the soundtrack on my iPod if you ever want to listen to it. The songs are a bit different than they are in the movie but still great.”

“I would love to actually,” I say.

“So, what do you want to watch? It’s your turn to pick.”

 “Let’s change the pace a bit. Have you seen Death Proof? It’s my favorite Tarantino film,” I ask, hoping that she hasn’t seen it. I love this movie.

“Nope, what’s it about?” she asks.

“Oh good, let’s just say it has a lot of hot ladies in it and some of them take revenge on this horrible stunt driver who is out for blood. It’s female power to the extreme. I love it.”

“Ooh, sounds bloody.”

“Yea, there are some bloody parts but I can warn you if something is coming up so you can close your eyes if you want. I think you’ll like the movie though. Zoe Bell is an absolute bad ass.”

“Sounds good, put the movie in and I’ll get some snacks.”

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

While I’m scooping some ice cream into two bowls and crumbling the cookies on top, I hear my phone ring from the other room. I run to pick up the phone while Carm is still trying to figure out how to operate my DVD player.

I don’t even look at the caller I.D. before I pick up.

“Hello,” I say.

“Hey L, it’s LaF. Perry want to know if you and Carmilla want to come over for dinner tomorrow. She wants to talk wedding details and we really just want to see you.”

“Yea, that sounds great hold on,” I say before covering up the phone receiver and making my way back to the living room.

“Hay Carm, LaFontaine’s on the phone and they and Perry are inviting us over for dinner tomorrow. Do you want to go?”

“Yea, sure. We can go,” she says before running to the bathroom.

I uncover the phone. “Hey, you still there?”

“Yep, what did she say” LaF responds.

“We’ll be there. What time?” I ask.

“How does six sound?”

“Perfect, we’ll see you then.”

“Great! I’ll tell Perr. She’s going to be so excited. She loves dinner parties.”

“Talk to you later, I’ve got a movie to get back to,” I say while Carm is grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the fort. I try to hide my giggles to no avail.

“Ok, have fun!”

I hang up before I can even respond. Carmilla pulls me down on the mattress and into a playful kiss. I love it when she’s like this. We start the movie and I take my opportunity to snuggle up as close to Carm as I can. I know that things are probably going to get really stressful with her mother and I want to make the most out of this weekend.

So far, this movie’s pretty awesome actually. I’m not typically a fan of action movies but this one is different. The female characters are really interesting.

“Ok, who on earth is that?” I ask.

“Oh, her? That is Vanessa Ferlito,” Carmilla responds.

“The way she moves her hips against that jukebox should probably be a crime.”

“I think it probably is in a few southern states, but you haven’t seen anything yet. Just wait for the lap dance scene,” Carm says and then wiggles her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

“Oh dear lord, I don’t think I can handle that.”

We continue watching the movie and I am just so creeped out by every guy in this movie, but especially Stuntman Mike. If I didn’t know I was gay before, this movie just reaffirmed that. He is just so gross.

“Ok, that just makes me mad,” I say.

“What?”

“Really? Jungle Julia can’t write a proper text to save her life. ‘Your a asshole’ is probably the worst attempt at three words I’ve ever seen. As an English teacher, I’m appalled.”

“So out of everything that could bother you about this movie, that’s what makes you mad?” Carm laughs.

“Yes.”

She pulls me in and kisses me on the head while laughing even harder. We snuggle in and keep watching until we get to that lap dance scene Carm was telling me about.

“Oh, I see what you mean. Butterfly is really hot and Stuntman Mike is way too creepy to deserve that kind of attention from her. Now I hate him even more,” I say.

“Haha, I thought you would like this scene. Don’t worry Cupcake, he will get what’s coming to him.”

“Good, he’s a jerk.”

“Yea, he is. How about that lap dance though?”

“Oh, it’s my favorite part of the movie so far. Maybe I’ll give you one of those one day if you play your cards right,” I breathe before leaning in for a languid kiss.

When I pull back, Carmilla is completely stunned. Her mouth is hanging open and her eyes are half closed.

When she finally regains her senses, all she can say is “I think I’d like that very much.”

“I thought so.”

Stuntman Mike gets Pam into his death trap of a car by offering a ride home and things get intense really quickly. He basically uses his car to murder her and I just can’t.

“Oh my god why would he do that to Rose McGowan!? She was my favorite Halliwell sister!” I shout.

“Oh wow, Cupcake. Did you seriously just make a Charmed reference?”

“Yes, I loved that show and I’m still bitter about Prue’s death but Paige quickly became my favorite and I can’t believe that Stuntman Mike just killed her!”

“Oh my god you’re adorable. Keep watching and everything will be ok. I promise,” I say.

I run to the bathroom but by the time I come back, all hell breaks loose. All four of the girls I thought were the stars of the film get murdered by this creep and his car and it’s super bloody and gross. I’m kind of glad I wasn’t paying too much attention. I did look just in time to see Jungle Julia’s leg being severed and thrown twenty feet from the car and I almost puked. Now that the main female characters are dead, we’re introduced to four more bad ass female characters and I’m starting to see why Carmilla likes this movie so much. I have a feeling that these girls are going to give Stuntman Mike what he deserves and I can’t wait to see it happen.

The new girls are all in the movie business and have a few days off from shooting. One of them is visiting from New Zealand so they have this crazy plan to test drive some muscle car for fun. They somehow pull off taking the car out without the owner and play the scariest game I’ve ever seen.

“Ship’s mast is the worst idea for a game I’ve ever seen and Zoe is crazy for wanting to play it,” I say.

“I told you she was awesome. How cool do you have to be for Quentin Tarantino to cast you as yourself in one of his movies?” Carm replies.

“That is pretty cool I guess. Oh no, is that? What is he doing here? Is he going to-“

Before I can even finish my sentence, Stuntman Mike rams their car going entirely too fast while Zoe is dangling on the hood only holding on to a couple belts. How she didn’t fall off and die I will never understand. I sit up and forward because this is way too intense and I have become way too invested in these characters for this ass hole to hurt them now. Kim is an amazing driver and somehow manages to keep Zoe safe while Abernathy is in the seat next to her freaking out before they spin out. Kim pulls out a gun and shoots Stuntman Mike in the arm.

“Hahaha, he’s such a baby! Listen to him cry! This is so great,” I say, laughing at him.

“I told you he would get what’s coming to him. They’re not done with him either.”

“Good.”

They chase him down, running their car into his completely forgetting the fact that they’re on a test drive in a priceless car. Once they catch him, they circle around him, taking turns to beat the crap out of him until he looks like he’s dead.

“I’m not one to really condone violence like this, but I’m glad they got him. I hate him and I’m glad they all survived,” I say before leaning back into Carmilla’s arms.

“So I take it you liked the movie?” she asked.

“I’m kind of surprised, but I did. I don’t really like action movies but all the girls in this movie were awesome. I especially liked Kim. She is so funny!”

“Yea, she’s hilarious and so is Abernathy. I really love this movie.”

“Me too.”

By the time we finished Death Proof, it was around dinner time so we decided to order some pizza before continuing our marathon. After we ate, we watched “We’re the Millers” and “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane” while continuing to stuff ourselves with junk food. I really don’t like horror movies either, but all Carmilla had to do was tell me that Amber Heard was in that Mandy Lane movie and I was sold. They both ended up being great movies and it’s been an even better day.

While we’re watching the last movie, Carm had partially lifted my shirt and was running her hands up and down my back while I curled up against her chest. If I wasn’t so tired from all the cleaning I did this morning, I would probably jump on her right now but this is just so comfortable. I could honestly stay in this movie fort with her forever and we fall asleep holding each other while the credits roll.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

I wake up the next morning to find static on the tv and Laura curled up to me in the same position we fell asleep in. There’s some real magic to this little fort she built yesterday. I thought it was kind of ridiculous at first, but I haven’t slept that well in ages. We’re going to have to do movie marathons in a fort more often. When I look up at the clock, I see that it’s already two in the afternoon. I don’t mind sleeping in that late, but I know Laura does. I know we stayed up pretty late but she never does this. She must have been really tired.

I try to pry myself away from her to go to the bathroom, but as soon as I move her eyes flutter open. It takes her a moment to realize where she is but once she does, she pulls me in even tighter and takes a deep breath.

“Good morning,” she says with closed eyes and a sleepy voice.

“Don’t you mean good afternoon?”

“Oh crap, what time is it?” she asks.

“A little after two.”

I run my hand down her arm before lacing her fingers with mine.

“Why did you let me sleep so late?” she asks.

“Well, I was kind of sleeping too. Besides, it’s Sunday. We’re allowed to sleep all day if we want.”

“I guess that’s true. We should probably get up though. We have to be at LaF and Perry’s in a few hours.”

“If we must.”

Laura stretches every muscle in her body and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s like she isolates every muscle individually and stretches them thoroughly, causing a moan to spill out of her mouth that honestly makes me want to skip this dinner party and really put this fort to good use. When she’s finished, she looks up at me and I give her the most mischievous grin I can come up with this early.

“What?” she asks.

“You are so beautiful.”

Laura suddenly gets a burst of energy and straddles my hips, cupping my cheeks and pulling me into a kiss. I put my hands on the small of her back to pull her closer and she just kisses me even harder. I used to consider myself a good kisser, but Laura takes it to another level. She can do things with her tongue that I didn’t think were possible and I cannot ever imagine getting enough from her. After a while of making out in a fort like a couple of teenagers, she pulls back and wraps her hands around my neck.

“As much as I would like to stay here all day, we made plans tonight and we should probably get up.”

“Do we really have to?” I ask.

“Yes, but I’ll make it worth your while,” she says before kissing me on the lips so lightly I could barely feel it.

I pull her even closer before whispering “I’m going to hold you to it.”

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

Carm actually helped me clean up the huge mess we made yesterday before we ran to the store to get the wine we’re bringing with us to LaF and Perry’s. I hear that you’re never supposed to show up to a dinner party empty handed and Perry would be almost offended if we brought any food. She really prides herself on her cooking and I can’t compete with her culinary prowess anyway.

We get to their house and LaF comes running out of the house before we even get to the door.

“Hey guys, come on in! Perr says dinner will be ready shortly.”

“Hey, LaF. Thanks again for the invite,” I say while following them through the door with Carmilla behind me.

“Of course, thanks for coming. How’s it going, Carmilla?” they ask.

“I’m great. Thanks for having me over. We brought you some wine,” Carm responds while handing LaF the bottle.

“Don’t mention it. Thanks you guys,” they respond before heading into the kitchen to tell Perry that we’ve arrived.

Perry comes out of the kitchen looking like a regular Betty Crocker. She has her curly red hair in a messy bun and a floral print apron over her sun dress. She has what looks like flour on her cheek, but LaF is quick to wipe it off for her. LaF is such a sweet partner to Perry and they are going to be such a happy married couple. I’m so excited for them both.

“Laura, Carmilla, thank you so much for coming over. I’m glad to see you,” Perry says while walking over to greet us both. Perry is so formal sometimes and it’s really endearing.

“I’m glad we could be here,” I respond.

After a while of small talk and drinking wine at the table, Perry serves us a dinner of roasted duck, thyme and basil cous cous, parmesan asparagus, and a salad that I’m not really sure what’s in it, but it’s delicious.

“So, things with the wedding are happening really quickly and there are some things I need your help with,” Perry says to me.

“Yes, of course. What do you need me to do?”

“Well, I already have the food and invitations taken care of but I need your help with dress shopping for myself and the bride’s maids. Are you available next weekend?”

I look over at Carmilla before turning back to Perry.

“Actually, next weekend will be really busy for me. I can go some time this week if you’re able to do that.”

“What’s going on next weekend, L?” LaF interjects.

“Actually, Laura and I are moving in together and Saturday is moving day,” Carmilla adds.

“Seriously!? Way to go Laura!” LaFontaine shouts.

“Oh my goodness, I am so happy for you two. We can go this week, no problem. Where will you two be moving to?” Perry asks.

“Carmilla has a really beautiful home close to the school and I’m going to move in there. You should see it, it’s honestly one of the most breathtaking houses I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s great, Laura. Congratulations,” LaF says.

We finish up our meal and Perry and I decide to go shopping on Wednesday afternoon. On our way out the door, LaF pulls me aside while Carmilla makes small talk with Perry. Carmilla really isn’t one for small talk, but she’s trying for me and I love her for it.

“Hey, so you and Carmilla seem to be getting pretty serious, huh?” they ask.

“Yea, I know it’s all happened really fast but she is honestly so perfect. She is so loving and supportive, LaF. She’s what I’ve been waiting for.”

“Yea? I’m really happy for you, L. Just be careful.”

“I know, but she’s nothing like Rachel was. She’s not going to hurt me. Carmilla loves me and I’m pretty sure she’s it. She’s the one, LaF.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I know it. I can’t ever imagine a day without her in it.”

“That’s amazing, Laura. You deserve to be happy and I’m glad you finally found someone who can do that for you. I’ll tell you this though, if she does ever hurt you she’s going to have to answer to me”

“Ok, ok. I’ll be sure to tell her,” I say while laughing and pulling them into a hug.

“Tell her when you leave. She’s honestly kind of intimidating.”

“Haha, I guess so. I don’t see her that way anymore but I could see how others would.”

“I think it’s the leather,” they say.

“Must be.”

LaFontaine and I join Carm and Perry in the dining room just as Perry’s done cleaning up the dishes.

“Well, Carmilla and I better go. We all have an early day tomorrow and we need to get some sleep,” I say, taking Carm’s hand.

“Sleep… right…” LaF says, giving me a wink.

“Oh, LaFontaine. Don’t be crude!” Perry says.

LaF and Carmilla share a laugh at Perry’s expense before we all say our goodbyes and head home. On the way home, I can’t help but notice how quiet Carmilla is and now that I think about it, she was pretty quiet at dinner as well. I’ll wait until we get home before I ask her anything.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

We get back to Laura’s apartment and I can’t help but feel relieved. I had a good time at her friends’ place, but I was honestly a bit distracted. I’m starting to get really nervous about what’s going to happen with mother. She could fire Laura tomorrow before I get the chance to do anything and I just can’t let that happen. I need to talk to Will before I do anything because I don’t want this to be a surprise to him. I just hope that mother doesn’t do anything stupid before I have the chance to do what I need to do.

“Carm, is everything alright? You’ve been really quiet all night,” Laura says.

“Yea, I’m fine. I’m just thinking about everything that I have to do.”

“Your mother?” she asks.

“Yea, I’m just worried. I know that I have enough to take her down for good, but part of me still feels helpless when it comes to her. She’s controlled me for so long, it’s hard to imagine myself standing up to her for real.”

“I know and I’m sorry. While I can’t fight this for you, I’ll be here every step of the way. Anything you need, please just ask. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I know, it’s just that I’ve been alone in this for so long, it’s hard to feel otherwise. I know that you’re here, it’s just going to take so getting used to.”

Laura looks at me with kindness and love in her eyes and in this moment I don’t know how I ever survived a day without her. Even in my weakest moments she makes me feel strong. When I feel like I can’t go on, she’s there to hold me up and tell me it’s all going to be ok. Things are going to be rough for a while with this whole situation with my mother, but if Laura can stick by me during this then there is nothing that will hold us back. I have never felt so loved and supported in my life and I don’t know how I could ever show Laura how much that means to me.

We don’t even bother changing into pajamas, but just strip off our clothes instead and crawl into bed in nothing but our underwear. She curls into me like I’m the only place she can call home anymore and I pull her in tight. She is the only thing I have left that is tethering me to reality and I will never let her go.

“Carm?”

“Yea?”

She sits up a bit so she’s hovering just above me.

“Thank you for everything; for this weekend, for coming to dinner, for asking me to move in, for supporting me in my new job, for always making me laugh when I need it and for loving me. I don’t know what I would ever do without you. I love you so much it scares me.”

“What do you mean it scares you?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I’ve just never felt this strongly about anyone before. When I think about anyone hurting you, past or present I get so angry and I just want to fight the whole world to protect you. I know you can take care of yourself, it’s just that I want to take care of you too.”

“Well I may be able to take care of myself but I kind of like the idea of having you take care of me too. I feel the same way, Cupcake. I can’t be held responsible for my actions if someone ever tries to hurt you but I guess that’s what love is right?”

“Yea, I guess so. I’m just so thankful for you. I didn’t think I would ever be this happy.”

“Neither did I, Laura. Neither did I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is helping you understand the characters a little better. I'm trying to develop them in a way that makes sense but it's taking time. Enjoy the fluff while it lasts because shit is about to get real.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has left me comments. I appreciate it more than you know. Please feel free to leave me more as I cherish every single one of them. 
> 
> Come find me at 2edge4u.tumblr.com and let's talk Carmilla theories! I have a lot of them!


	13. Now We're in the Ring and We're Coming For Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an accident in school, Carmilla drops a bomb and they prepare for war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so long, I just had a lot to say. Title from Glory and Gore - Lorde.
> 
> Trigger Warning: childhood abuse

**Carmilla POV**

The next day, Mother was apparently at a training meeting for all the principals in our district so she was just too busy to start ruining our lives so we’re fine in that regard. My day was pretty good until I had to break up a fight in my third period class. These two jocks got into it over a girl who is also in my class and apparently there was a large fight online that happened to spill over into the middle of my classroom. The kids were all working in groups when one of the boys just stood up, picked up his desk and threw it at the other kid. I have never seen such an aggressive display of immaturity and faux masculinity in my life. They were screaming “she’s mine, you dick!” back and forth at each other and I just wanted to puke. The fact is that she doesn’t belong to either one of them and when she told them that they lost it and they’re taking it out on each other.

So here I am, standing in front of these boys to separate them from the girl they’re fighting over and the rest of my frightened students when it gets pretty serious. One of the kids, his name is Chris ends up on top of the other kid and is just pummeling his face to shreds. I couldn’t sit back and watch every bone in this kid’s face get smashed so I stepped in to help since the administration had yet to show up. Big mistake.

Just as I reach them to try to pull Chris away, he brings his arm back for another punch and his elbow hits my eye so hard I go flying back into the audio cabinet on the wall and hit my head. I succeeded in stopping the fight between the two boys because they realized just how badly they fucked up. Just as I’m trying to get off the floor (not very successfully) a handful of deans and other faculty come running in because my students were shouting that I was hurt. I couldn’t hear anything except this really loud ringing and I couldn’t see very well. The admins had dragged Chris and the other boy out of the room and I was lying on the ground when Laura suddenly appeared in front of me.

“Carm, it’s ok. I’m here. What hurts?” she said. Everything around her goes white and I would swear that she looked like an angel.

“I’m fine. My head just hurts,” I respond.

Laura pulls me in for a hug but I feel her inspecting the back of my head.

She pulls back, cupping my face in her hands and rubbing her thumb under my eye where I was hit.

“You need to be seen by a doctor. The nurse is already on the way but she’s going to say the same thing,” Laura says but I don’t care. She’s so beautiful and right here.

“I’m sleepy.”

“Carmilla, you can’t go to sleep right now. You may have a concussion. I swear to god that if you do those boys are going to pay.”

“What are you going to do, fight a couple of teenagers?” I laugh, and it hurts.

“If I have to.”

The nurse come in to look at me and Laura helps me sit up so the nurse can work. I see that all my other students have left the room and it was just Laura and I in there that whole time. That’s probably a good thing.

“Carm, let Jessica here look at you and I’ll be right back. Ok?” Laura says.

“Ok, hurry please.”

I’m really not feeling well all of a sudden. I feel like I’m going to throw up any second and I’m seeing two of everything. The nurse is looking at the back of my head. She pulls gauze out of her bag and presses it hard to my head and I cry out in pain. I apparently hit that cabinet pretty hard since I’m bleeding. Oh thank god, Laura’s coming back.

“How is she?” Laura asks.

“She’ll be ok. She might need a few stitches and a concussion but she will be fine. I suggest she goes to the hospital to be checked out,” The nurse says. “Should I call an ambulance?”

“No, Mr. Vordenburg is getting coverage for our classes for the rest of the day. I will take her now. Thank you for your help,” Laura says while looking into my eyes the entire time.  She turns back to the nurse for a moment.

“Jessica, I need one more favor. Could you stay with her for a moment while I take care of something and pull the car around?”

“Yes, of course”

Laura squeezes my hand. “Carm, you stay right here and I’ll be back before you know it. Don’t go to sleep. Everything’s going to be alright. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok. I’m not going anywhere, Cupcake.”

Laura smiles at me and leans down to kiss my forehead before getting up to walk away. I don’t even care who’s watching us right now. I love this woman.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

When I walk out of the classroom I can feel my blood beginning to boil. I go back to my classroom to get my things and head up to the discipline office to have a word with these boys myself. When I walk in the door, I see them sitting on opposite ends of the room, all bruised knuckles and egos and I’m ready to snap.

I walk right past them and up to Ms. Carter, the discipline secretary.

“Hello Ms. Carter, how are you today?” I ask.

“I’m lovely, Ms. Hollis. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just a little stressed. Would you mind if I have a word with these two young men?”

“Sure thing. They’re waiting for their parents to get here before the deputies have a word with them as well.”

“Thank you, Ms. Carter. I promise I’ll be nice.”

“Go get ‘em, girl.”

I smile at her before turning around. I think I’m really going to like working with her. I walk toward the two boys and they look so scared they might have already peed their pants.

“Hello, could I have your names please?” I ask them.

They look at each other before looking back down at the floor.

One of them finally speaks up. “I’m Kenny… and this is Chris.”

“Last names please.”

“I’m Chris Gates and this is Kenny Tarver.”

“Well Mr. Gates and Mr. Tarver, could you please tell me what was so important that you had such an outburst in Ms. Karnstein’s class?”

“We were fighting over Ashley. We were dating and she cheated on me with him,” Kenny says while looking over the other boy before a tear runs down his cheek.

“You two were never dating, or at least that’s what she told me,” Chris says.

“I see. So because of a girl that seemed to have manipulated you both you felt the need to beat the crap out of each other at school? Do you understand that Ms. Karnstein is pretty hurt? Do you realize what you’ve done? Mr. Gates, look over at your friend. You hurt him really badly as well. There is no way that your argument over this girl could ever justify your violent actions toward each other. You should both be ashamed of yourselves.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Hollis. I like Ms. Karnstein a lot and I never meant to hurt her. I feel terrible,” Chris says.

“Me too,” Kenny says.

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way, but there will be consequences to your actions. Do you both understand that?”

“Yes ma’am,” they both say.

“Good, may I give you some advice?” I ask.

They both look at me and I can see that they really are sorry, but this moment can define who they become as adults and I really hope that they hear me.

“Whatever consequences come from this mistake you both have made, accept it and learn from it. Putting your hands on someone will never truly resolve the conflict, only smash it down until it rears its ugly head to attack you twice as hard. Neither one of you owned the rights to that girl. She played you both and now not only are you hurt but you hurt a teacher as well. I hope you both learn from this and grow up to become better men.”

“I’m really sorry, Ms. Hollis. I deserve whatever punishment is coming my way. Please tell Ms. Karnstein I’m really sorry,” Chris says.

Me too. I’m so sorry,” Kenny whispers.

“Thank you, boys. I will let her know.”

As I turn to walk out the door, Ms. Carter gives me a nod of approval.

I run to the parking lot to get Carmilla’s car and pull it closer to the building. When I walk into her classroom, she’s laying back down and Jessica is cradling her head in her hands. Once Carm sees me standing over her, she smiles as if nothing is wrong.

“Hey Cupcake, wanna get out of here?” she laughs and tries to get up.

“Slow down, Cassanova. Let me help you up,” I say to her.

Jessica helps me stand her up and we walk her to the car. Once she’s safely in the passenger seat, I thank Jessica, hug her and run around to the driver’s seat to get Carm to the hospital asap. I’m sure it’s just a small concussion but we need to be sure.

We play the alphabet in the car to make sure that she stays awake. Even when Carmilla is partially unconscious she kills me at this game. She is so infuriating sometimes but I love it.

We get to the hospital and it’s a good thing because her symptoms seem to be getting worse.

We park and I motion for someone to bring us a wheelchair. Carmilla’s fighting me on having to use it but I don’t really care. I’m doing what’s best for her and she’s just going to have to deal with it. Luckily the E.R. staff doesn’t make us wait very long and they take us back to triage right away. After taking her height, weight and vital signs, they ask her a bunch of questions that I have to answer half of them because she can’t remember or concentrate on much right now.

After a few more minutes of questioning, we are lead back to the critical care unit of the emergency department. After the transporter leaves, Carm reaches for my hand and squeezes it tight.

“Thank you for being here, Laura. I need you here,” she says before wincing in pain.

“I know, and I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I’m not going anywhere unless it’s to take you home.”

She just smiles and closes her eyes.

“Carmilla, you can’t go to sleep. I now it’s hard and you’re so tired but you have to stay awake. Stay with me,” I say while moving to stand closer to her bed.

“Ugh. Fine.”

Just as I’m leaning down to kiss her, the nurse walks in and up to the other side of the bed. She grabs Carmilla’s hand, looks at her wrist band and asks “Name, date of birth?”

“Carmilla Karnstein. April 2nd 1989,” Carm responds.

“What happened here, Carmilla?” the nurse says

“I was trying to break up a fight between two lackwits in my class when I got hit in the eye and thrown into a cabinet head first.”

“Ouch, I’m so sorry. Let’s get you hooked up to some fluids. The doctor will be here in a moment so we can get some tests ordered and give you some pain meds,” the nurse says before squeezing Carmilla’s hand and walking to the supply cabinet.

“Thank you,” I say because I really appreciate how kind she is. My mother’s nurse when she was in hospice at the end of her life was very callous and cruel so I’ve been afraid of hospitals ever since. This lady seems very nice and I’m so glad because I’m really worried about Carmilla. I’ve never seen her like this and it scares me but I can’t show her. I need to be strong right now.

The nurse, her name is apparently Laura as well, starts an IV with just fluids to make sure Carm is well hydrated. Hopefully that will help with the headache until she can get cleared for pain meds. The doctor walks in a few moments later. He is a slight man with no hair but a kind smile.

“Hello, how are we feeling?” he asks.

“Like crap,” Carmilla admits.

“I’m sorry to hear that Ms…” he glances down at his chart “Karnstein.”

“You can call me Carmilla. Just fix me up, ok doc? I want to go home.”

“Ok Carmilla, I’ll try my best. I need you to hold on a few minutes. We’re going to take you to get a CAT scan to make sure there’s not any intracranial bleeding. Once I have a look and determine the diagnosis, we can get you some pain medication and stitch you up as long as there’s nothing serious going on. Sound good?”

“Sounds like the time of my life,” Carm says while rolling her eyes.

“Ok, I’ll be back once I have a look at the pictures. It won’t be long,” he says as he turns on his heels to check on his next patient.

Carmilla turns on her side to face me.

“Laura, could you turn out the light?” she asks.

“Carm, you can’t go to sleep until we know what’s going on.”

“I promise I won’t, the light just really hurts my eyes. Please.”

“Ok, but you have to stay awake.”

When I stand up to flip the switch behind her, I feel her grab my hand and start to pull me down to her.

“Well I guess you’ll have to find something to occupy my time,” she breathes as she pulling me in for a kiss. Even with head trauma, she is smoother than I’ll ever be. Just when we start kissing, the transporter comes in to take Carm for testing.

“Oh, sorry. She’s ready to go,” I say while straightening my blazer out.

“I see that,” the transporter says while fighting a laugh.

Carmilla gives me a cocky grin while being wheeled out the door. While she’s gone, I decide to take a quick walk to the cafeteria to get a drink. I haven’t really had time to process everything that’s happened today and I need a moment. I’m gone for probably twenty minutes and when I get back, Carmilla’s still not there. CAT scans don’t really take that long so I’m admittedly a little worried. There can’t be anything seriously wrong with her. There just can’t be. I can’t go through this again.

Before panic can really set in, Carmilla is being wheeled through the door. Thank god. I shoot up out of my chair and rush over to her.

“Hey,” I say while grabbing her hand.

“Hey, it’s ok. I wasn’t gone that long,” she says. I guess I look as scared as I feel.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m trying to be strong for you it’s just hard.”

“I’m going to be fine, Laura. It’s going to take more than a couple of idiots to take me down,” she laughs.

“You’re right. I’m just not very good with hospitals is all,” I confess.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. You don’t have to be here if yo-“

“Forget it, Carm. I’m not going anywhere. I can deal with my crap later. I’m staying right here no matter how hard it is.”

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you too.”

I lean down to kiss her, hoping to distract both of us from the situation at hand and the doctor walks in.

“Oh my. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he says, clearly a bit uncomfortable.

I pull back, and Carm just gives me the sweetest smile.

“It’s fine, doc. Just tell us what’s going on,” Carmilla says.

“Well, I have good news I think. There’s no bleeding inside the skull, just a little bruising. You definitely have a concussion but that will heal without any issues as long as you follow discharge instructions. However, you will need some stitches for the wound on your head to prevent infection and you have a fractured cheekbone from where you were struck in the eye. That will take a while to heal and you will have a wicked bruise.”

“Oh, well I guess that is good news. Thanks,” Carm says.

“Yes, thank you doctor. How long until she can get some pain meds?” I ask.

“I’ve already ordered them and the nurse should be on the way. Once we get you stitched up you’ll be on your way. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you feel better soon, Carmilla.”

“Thanks.”

The doctor walks out and I’m very thankful to be getting out of here soon. Hospitals are the absolute worst and I’m starting to feel very anxious just being here.

It takes about another hour for the wound to be stitched up and for Carmilla to get her discharge orders and prescriptions. I thank the nurse and doctor one more time before wheeling Carmilla to the car. I have strict orders to get her prescriptions immediately and to not let her sleep for another four hours and then wake her frequently after that to check if her symptoms have changed any. The doctor gave her a referral to be seen in a few days and a note to take a week off school. I know her mother is going to be furious but I don’t care.

I get Carmilla back to my apartment and onto the couch before taking her phone to call Danny. I need someone to stay with her while I run to get her medicine.

“Carmilla? Are you ok?” Danny asks.

“Hey, Danny. It’s actually Laura.”

Oh, hey Laura. I heard what happened at school. Is she ok?”

“She will be. She has a concussion and a fractured cheek bone but she’ll be fine. I’m actually calling because I need a favor.”

“Sure, Hollis. Name it,” Danny says with.

“I have to run to get her medicine and some more things from her house but I can’t leave her alone because she can’t sleep just yet. I know you don’t really know me, but would you mind coming to my apartment to sit with her while I’m gone? I know you two are friends and I would feel more comfortable this way.”

“Absolutely. Just text me your address and I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m glad she has you, Laura.”

“Thanks, Danny. I’ll see you soon,” I say before hanging up and sending her a quick text.

When I walk back into the living room, Carmilla is fighting sleep with the last little bit of strength she has left.

“Carmilla, you can’t go to sleep yet. I’m so sorry. I know you’re tired but you have to stay awake,” I say while sitting next to her and brushing her hair away from her face.

“I’m just so tired. This isn’t fair,” she says.

“You’re right, it’s not fair. Those boys are going to get punished but they also wanted me to tell you they’re sorry.”

“Well, they should be. Those little shits really hurt me, but I know they didn’t mean to. They’re bright kids, but I guess puberty just hit them a little too hard and I’m the one that’s paying for it.”

“You know, that girl played them both. They were fighting for nothing.”

Carmilla laughs and her every muscles in her body tenses up in pain.

“Can’t say that I’m surprised. This whole situation is just fucked.”

“You’re right about that one. Anyway, I need to run to the pharmacy and by your house to get you some more clothes. I called Danny to come sit with you while I’m gone.”

“Why would you call Xena? I don’t need a babysitter.”

“She’s your friend, Carmilla. I have to make sure that you don’t fall asleep and I needed help with that. I’m just following the doctor’s orders.”

“Ok, I’m sorry. My head is just killing me.”

“I know and I’m sorry. That’s why I need to go get your medicine. Is there anything else you want me to get from your house or the store? Something to make you feel better?”

“Well, some chocolate would be great. Also, I need you to get something from my house,” she states.

“You’ve got it. What do you need?” I ask.

“On my key ring, there’s a small brass key. It opens the bottom-left drawer on the desk in my office. There’s a false bottom on the drawer that you can remove easily by pushing on the front right corner of it. Inside you will find a rectangular wooden box. Please bring that to me and don’t try to open it until you get here. Understand?”

“Ok… I understand but what’s going on?” I ask.”

“Just trust me, Laura. This is not the concussion speaking. I will explain everything when you get back,” Carmilla says, reaching for my hand and brings it to her lips to kiss my palm.

“Ok. We’ll talk about this when I get back. Can I get you anything before Danny gets here?”

“Hmm… your yellow pillow from the bedroom, some cookies and a kiss would be great,” she says and smiles. Even with a concussion she can knock me off my feet.

I bend down and kiss her as hard as she can stand it. She’s in a lot of pain and I don’t want to hurt her but I just love her so much and I’m so relieved that she’s going to be ok. When I pull back slightly and look down at her beautiful bruised eyes, the doorbell rings. What is with all the interruptions today? I mean, really.

I give her a quick kiss on the lips before running to get the door. I open it to discover Danny on the other side.

“Hey Danny, thanks for coming. I really appreciate it,” I say as I open the door wider and gesture for her to come in.

“It’s no problem, I was really worried about Carmilla. I’m glad you called me. Where is she?” Danny asks.

“She’s over here,” I say pointing toward the living room. “Why don’t you go say hi? I need to grab some things for her.”

“Sure thing.”

Danny walks away and I go grab my pillow, some cookies we picked up from the diner the other day and I grab some drinks for her and Carmilla. After a quick kiss to Carmilla’s forehead and a wave to Danny, I’m out the door.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

“Hey, Lawrence. Thanks for coming over,” I say.

“It’s not a problem. What the hell happened to you”? Danny asks.

“You know those two kids Gates and Tarver on the basketball team?”

“Yea, what about them?”

“They broke out into a pretty bad fight and I couldn’t sit back while they killed each other and now you’re babysitting me.”

“Way to go, dumb ass. That’s why we shouldn’t break up fights. They have people at our school that are trained to do that, not including the two school resource officers.”

“Thanks for your sympathy. Anyway, they were really going to hurt each other. It was getting really bad and I couldn’t let that happen in front of me. I know it was stupid and I got hurt, but whatever.”

“Well, I hope you get better soon. Laura seems like she’s taking really good care of you,” Danny says.

“Yea, she is. She’s really great actually,” I say before smiling up at the ceiling.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

I look over at her so she can see how much I mean this.

“I really do. She makes me feel brave, loved and accepted. She’s it, Danny.”

“Wow, that’s really great. I hope I find that one day.”

“You will, I know it. Now, get me some of those damn cookies,” I laugh.

Laura is gone for probably another forty-five minutes and I get a little worried after a while. I know I kind of freaked her out with the whole box thing. I need what’s in that box to take down mother and I’m not even sure that this will work since it’s been so long. I couldn’t just tell her what’s in that box until we’re sitting together because it’s going to be really hard for her to see and I don’t want her to be alone in that moment. Hell, even I don’t want her to be alone in that moment.

Danny and I unfortunately make small talk while watching some boring nature show while I wait for Laura get back. Danny’s cool and all, I’m just in terrible pain and I’m not in the mood for this right now.

Laura finally comes barreling through the door and I couldn’t be more relieved. Danny and I say our goodbyes before Laura thanks her and practically rushes her out the door. I’ll apologize to Danny later but I’m pretty sure Laura is ready to talk.

“Hey, babe. How are you feeling?” Laura asks while closing the door and locking it.

“I’m ok. Better now that you’re here,” I say with a slight smile.

“Here, let’s get some medicine in you first.”

Laura reaches into the grocery bags, portions out three different types of pills and comes back with a glass of water as well. She helps me sit up so I can take the pills and then walks to grab the box.

“You’ll need my keys. Bring those too,” I say in between pills two and three and Laura stops dead in her track. She looks at me over her shoulder before returning to get the box.

I close my eyes to take my last pill because I’m really nauseous and swallowing this fucking horse pill just might kill me. By the time I get it down and open my eyes again, Laura is sitting next to me with a worried look on her face. She probably should be worried considering what I’m about to show her.

I set the glass down before turning to her and taking the box into my hands.

“Laura, I know you want to know what’s in here and I’m going to show you but I need to tell you something first.”

“I’m listening.”

“Ok, a lot of why I never told anyone about what my mother did is because I thought no one would believe me without any proof. She told me that no one would believe me and I believed her. So, William and I endured all that for so long and are still under her control because I didn’t have any proof. Well I didn’t have any proof until I received what’s in this box from Will last year.”

“Carmilla, what’s in the box? Is it going to help us?”

“I don’t know if it will help us. I think that we should contact a lawyer to see what we can do. I want to be honest with you about everything but know that this is going to be really hard. I haven’t shown anyone what’s in here because I tried to forget about every bad thing that happened to me but this is just too hard to ignore. I never really had a reason to live until now so I have to do this.”

“I can handle it. Just let me help. Show me,” Laura says and she really doesn’t know what she’s asking but I have to tell her. She’s going to find out eventually and I’d rather it be now when we’re alone than in front of some lawyer.

“Ok, remember all the things I told you about what my mother did to us?”

“Yes.”

“Will came to me last year and gave me this box, saying that he couldn’t hold on to this by himself anymore; that it was killing him. Apparently when we got a little older and the abuse was getting worse, Will started to document everything. He took pictures, videos and wrote things down, hiding everything in the wall behind his bed by peeling back the wallpaper and digging a hole through the dry wall. He was afraid to show me because he wasn’t sure if I would tell mother or not so he just kept it to himself until the guilt became too much.”

“Oh my god, so everything he had is in here?”

“Yes. I want to show it to a lawyer and see what kind of action if any we can take against my mother. Even if the consequences are only in her professional life. I know the statute of limitations has run out but there has to be something we can do,” I say.

“We have to try,” Laura breathes and hands me my keys.

“Are you sure you want to see this?”

“Yes, I’m ready,” Laura says.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

Carmilla fumbles with her keys and eventually opens the box. Inside is what looks like 9 VHS tapes, four composition notebooks and a stack of polaroids. I pull out the pictures first and look at her before going through them. She is showing me evidence of the darkest part of her life and I want to make sure it’s ok before going through with it. I get a nod of approval and look down at the pictures. Most of them are of Will but he managed to take a few of Carmilla while she was sleeping. They were so sickly looking. I don’t know how no one noticed that something was terribly wrong. They were both way too thin, had really dark circles under their eyes and looked for too sad to be a normal child. I can feel myself beginning to cry but I fight it back in an attempt to be strong for Carmilla.

I grab one of the tapes labeled “13.” I look up to Carmilla and she nods that it’s ok. Walking over to the tv to put the tape in, a question arises about the tapes.

“Carm, what do the numbers mean?” I ask.

“The numbers indicate how old Will was when he made each tape,” Carm says

“So when this tape was made, you were fifteen?”

“Yes.”

I don’t know how to respond to that without crying so I just turn back around to put the tape in. I walk over to sit back down on the couch while Carm is messing with the remote.

“Are you sure you want to see this?” she asks.

“Yes, if you’re ready for me to see it.”

“I can’t do this by myself anymore.”

“Ok, press play.”

There is nothing that she could have said to adequately prepare me for what I saw on this tape. As soon as the tape starts you see what appears to be Will entering the screen. He gets inches from the camera so he can speak without being detected. It’s dark in his room but you can still make out his facial features.

“So, it’s August 23rd and Carmilla and I have been locked up for four days now. I’m lucky enough to be locked my room but mom put her in the closet again. I can’t listen to her scream anymore. I hate myself because I’m too afraid to do anything. I know Carmilla’s probably hurt herself by now trying to get out of there because she’s so afraid but I’m too much of a fucking coward to get out of here and tell someone.”

Will looks down and I hear it for myself. In the background you can hear a young girl screaming at the top of her lungs. How the neighbors never heard that I will never understand. I can’t fight it anymore and tears start running down my face when I realize that the girl screaming was Carmilla. I look over to her and she’s crying too. I pull her into my arms and hug her while saying “I’m sorry” over and over because I’m too shocked to say anything else. Will begins to speak again.

“I want to bust out of here and let Carmilla out but I know that mom will catch me and make things so much worse. Why do we have to live this way? It’s just not fair,” he says while reaching to turn the camera off.

After a few seconds of static, the camera turns back on to find Will sitting on his legs in the middle of the room. The date on the corner of the screen shows that it has been two days since the last time he made a video so that have been locked up for six days. The poor kid looks so defeated; like he has given up all hope. Thank god the camera appears to be hidden from sight when his mother comes flying into the room. She looks exactly the same as she does now, only more real. It’s like the version of this woman we see at school is simply a mask that she puts on every day to hide the real monster hidden inside.

“William, I’m going out for a few hours. You can retrieve your sister. Clean her up and you two may eat as long as I don’t see the evidence when I get back. Do you understand me?”

He doesn’t dare look up at her but says “yes, Mother. Thank you.”

She walks out and Will stays frozen until he hears the front door slam shut. As soon as he hears the door, he gets up and runs out of his room. Minutes later, you see him drag a motionless Carmilla into the room and onto his bed which is thankfully still in frame of the camera. I’m crying even harder and Carmilla can’t even watch anymore so I’m just holding her against my chest as I fight to keep my eyes on the screen. Will runs out of the room and comes back with a glass of water that he throws onto Carmilla’s face, violently bringing her back to consciousness. She screams and flails her body like she’s still scratching at that closet door until Will assures her that mother is gone. She eventually calms down and Will gets them both some water to drink and what looks like a turkey or chicken sandwich. As Carmilla’s eating, Will goes to get a first aid kit to clean up her bloody and cut up hands.

“He would always take care of me like that when I was locked up for a long time. I think I started to go crazy and I would punch and scratch at the door until I ripped my hands open and passed out from exhaustion,” Carmilla says.

“Carm, I’m so sorry. I know you told me what happened but to see it is another thing. I can’t believe this.”

“Neither can I sometimes. Maybe if I show this to someone they will believe me and be willing to help,” she says.

“They’ll have to. This is awful, Carmilla. They just have to,” I say before pulling her even close and we cry harder while Will is gently bandaging her wounds on the screen.

We shut off the tv because that was enough to watch right now. Carmilla shows me a few pages of Will’s journals. He tried to write down in detail everything that their mother did to them. It’s essentially a timeline of abuse. Being that he started all this when he was ten years old, he was a pretty smart kid.

“I need to call Will and tell him what I’m planning to do. I don’t want to do this if he’s not ready,” Carm says.

“I understand. I’m going to go put the groceries away. Are you ok by yourself for a minute?” I ask.

“Yea, I’ll be fine. Bring me a drink when you come back?

“You’ve got it. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I say.

“Thanks, love.”

I kiss her cheek before heading off to the kitchen.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

William might not be ready to hear this, but I need him to understand. It’s time that she pays for what she’s done and I can’t let her do anything to Laura. I dial his number and hope for the best.

“Hey, Kitty. How the hell are ya?”

“I’ve been better. I got into a bit of a scuffle at school today breaking up a fight. Fractured cheek bone and a concussion.”

“Damn, sis! Are you ok?” he asks.

“Yea, I’ll be fine. Laura’s taking good care of me.”

“I knew I liked her for a reason.”

“Yea. Anyway, that’s not why I’m calling. It’s about mother,” I say, trying to swallow the lump rising in my throat.

“What’s going on?”

“She’s doing it again, Will. Trying to control everything even though we don’t live there anymore. She doesn’t approve of Laura and she’s going to fire her because of me. I can’t sit back and let that happen. Laura’s worked her entire life for this job and I love her, Will. I love her and I can’t let mother hurt her just to get back at me.”

“What are you going to do?” he asks with a small voice.

“It’s time to take her down for good.”

“Do you mean?”

“Yes, I mean the box. I want to contact a lawyer and see what options we have. Will, we can’t let her control us anymore. We don’t deserve to live this way and we never did. We were kids back then but we’re adults now and I’m ready to fight. I need you with me.”

He stays silent for a while. I know he’s wrestling with every part of himself just like I am. On one hand, I’m ready for anything and will fight until the end, but on the other hand I’m still a terrified little girl that wants to just run away. Just when I think he’s hung up on me, he finally speaks up.

“Ok. Let’s do it. Let me know when you’re meeting with the lawyer. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Hot tears are streaming down my face again. I’m so relieved; for now at least.

“Thank you. I’ll text you when I find out. I love you, Will.”

“Love you too, Kitty. Feel better and tell Laura I said hi.”

“Will do,” I say before hanging up and putting my phone on the coffee table.

I cup my face in my hands and let out a few sobs that have been threatening to rip me apart. This is all just too much for me to handle right now. Facing my mother is hard enough but I’m still in so much pain from earlier today that I just feel weak. Laura comes back just in time.

She sets a grape soda on the counter and lightly wraps her arms around me, setting her chin on my shoulder. We sit there for a few minutes; her holding me without wanting anything in return and me crying until I begin to feel numb. If she weren’t here right now, I’m pretty sure I would completely fall apart.

“Will said ok. I’ll call the lawyer in the morning,” I say once I’m able to breathe again.

“That’s good, Carm. What can I do for you?” she asks.

“Just stay with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. It’s been long enough so let’s get you to bed,” Laura says while pulling me up.

“Ok, are you coming with me?” I ask her as we’re stumbling down the hall to her bedroom.

“Of course, I have to check on you.”

“I’m sorry, Laura.”

She gently lays me down on the bed, pulls my pants off and tucks me in under the blanket.

“Carmilla, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I’m going to take care of you and there’s nothing you can do about that. Now, get some sleep and I’ll wake you in a couple of hours to check on you.”

Laura leans down to kiss me gently on the lips and I pull on her collar to deepen the kiss for just a moment.

“I love you so much,” I say with my eyes still closed.

“I love you too. Now, sleep.”

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

Carmilla drifts off to sleep without any hesitation. She has been beyond exhausted all day so she’s been waiting for this. I couldn’t imagine going to sleep myself so I head back to the living to dig through the evidence in a little more detail. I can’t believe that this is all so real. I’m so thankful that Will was able to not only collect all this, but also keep it from their mother. There has to be something the lawyer can do. There just has to.

* * *

 

I make it through the night ok. I wake Carmilla every few hours to make sure her symptoms aren’t any worse and she seems to be healing just fine. I offer to stay home with her but she refuses, not wanting to make her mother more mad than she probably already is and Carm’s probably right. I called Will when I got up and he assured me that he would be by to check on her so I feel a little better about leaving.

I walk back into the bedroom after making Carmilla a light breakfast.

“Hey, I have some eggs, toast and juice here for you. You should try to eat something with all the medicine you’re taking.”

“Thanks,” she says, wincing in pain as she tries to sit up. I set the breakfast tray down on the bed and reach to help her.

“Are you sure you want me to go? I’ll stay here if you need me,” I say.

“I’ll be fine, Laura. I promise. Don’t miss work on account of me. Those kids will miss you,” she says before kissing me.

“Ok, please try to eat. Will’s going to be by around lunch time and I’ll see you around 3:30. Paige is helping me after school today since I left yesterday. Call me if you need anything. I’ll come right home,” I say.

“I will. Have a good day.”

“You too, Carm. Get some rest.”

On the drive to work I can’t help but feel horrible for leaving her today. She’s in so much pain and I want to be there to take care of her, but she’s right. Ms. Morgan will be on campus today and I don’t need to give her another reason to help me.

Everything is going fine at school. My students were all working hard and some of Carmilla’s students even came by in between classes to ask about her welfare. I guess I wasn’t exactly discreet about my feelings toward her yesterday in the panic of the situation and some of them figured out that we’re at least close friends. Whoops.

I call Carm on my planning period. She assures me that she’s fine. She said she has a killer headache but that her vision is clearing up and her nausea is a bit better. Will should be coming by soon enough so I feel ok about letting her go.

I’m now about fifteen minutes into my sixth period. I’m explaining a writing prompt to the class when Ms. Morgan walk in the door, sits down in a chair on the side of the room, pulls out a tablet and starts taking notes. I try my best to hide that I’m in a complete panic and continue teaching as I’ve planned. While I walk around to check the progress on their essays, I see her check my lesson plan that we have to have posted on the door and take more notes. When the bell rings and the students leave, I walk up to her.

“Hello Ms. Morgan, is there anything I can do for you?

“No, Ms. Hollis. As your employer in this district, I am entitled to unscheduled observations at any time I see fit. Is there a problem here?” she asks.

“No ma’am, there’s no problem. Thank you,” I say as I walk to the door to greet the students coming in for 7th period. Thank god the day is almost over.

She stays in my room until it’s time for her to leave and prepare for the afternoon announcements. She doesn’t say a word before getting up and walking out the door. I hate that woman and I hope she gets what’s coming to her.

Once the bell rings and I’m alone in my classroom, I take a moment and realize just how freaked out I am. She’s only doing this to find any reason she can to fire me. Part of me just wishes she would get it over with. I can’t go through that again.

“Hey, Ms. Hollis. Is it ok to come in?” I hear a tiny voice from the door and look over to see Paige.

“Yes, come in. I’m sorry,” I say while standing up.

“I’m sorry you’ve had a rough couple of days but I’m glad my parents let me come by today,” she says.

“Me too, Paige. Thank you. Ready to get to work?” I ask.

“Yes.”

We’re sorting through the giant pile of photo copies I prepared for this project, trying to collate and staple them. If I were doing this by myself it would take forever, but with Paige’s help we should be done in no time. We’re working in relative silence when she drops a bomb out of nowhere.

“Ms. Hollis, is Ms. Karnstein your girlfriend?” she asks.

I almost choke on the gum I’m chewing before I stutter “Um, well…”

“I’m sorry. I only asked because I see the way you look at each other. Then yesterday I saw how you helped her and heard about what you said to those two idiots who hurt her. I’ve always liked Ms. Karnstein and you’re amazing. It would be really cool actually but you don’t have to answer that. I’m sorry.”

I think for a moment and decide it wouldn’t hurt anything to tell Paige. She seems sweet and I don’t think she would really tell anyone.

“Well, you’re right. Carmilla, I mean Ms. Karnstein is my girlfriend.”

“I knew it. After yesterday, it’s obvious to me that you love her. Am I right?”

“Yes, Paige.  I do love her.”

“That’s so cool,” Paige says before returning to her work.

We work for a while longer before she speaks up again.

“Can I tell you something Ms. Hollis?” she asks.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I’m afraid to tell anyone in my life because they’ll tell my parents. They’re not going to be ok about it.”

“Well, I won’t tell anyone unless someone is in danger. You understand that, right?” I ask.

“I understand and no one is in danger. It’s just that…”

“What is it?”

“This past summer I went on a mission trip to Puerto Rico with my youth group. I‘ve been going on these trips since I was nine and everything was normal until this past summer.”

“That’s so cool! Tell me about it.”

“It started out like every summer. We would get there, settle in to where we are staying. This time it was an old military base on really close to the beach in Aguadilla. We had church services, live music, great food prepared by the local citizens; it was amazing. Honestly one of the best times of my life.”

“Ok, but how did things change?”

“I met someone and it changed everything. We were working on the same construction team so we spent every waking moment together. Each team would eat together, pray together, have bible study together and work together in the field. By day four, I couldn’t stop thinking about them, even when I was asleep. We were working alone together at this drug rehab center we were helping to build in town. We were installing part of the framing for the ceiling when a large piece of metal broke free and cut my arm pretty badly. She was helping me bandage my arm when she just leaned in and kissed me. I couldn’t pull away because I saw fire and lights behind my closed eyes and every part of me was burning for her. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and it scared me. It scared me because I know how my parents would react. I can’t like her this way but I can’t help it.”

I’m looking at Paige and she’s blinking away painful tears. This poor girl shouldn’t have to go through this. She can’t help who she likes and I hate that she has to hide this part of herself. It’s tearing her apart.

“Wow, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this, Paige. I promise that this won’t last forever. It’s really hard right now, but you’ll get past it one day.”

“I know, I decided a while ago that I just shouldn’t tell them yet. They just won’t understand and it’s easier for me if they don’t know. That’s why I’m glad to have you, Ms. Hollis. I felt like you would get it and I was right.”

“Yea, I think I get it. You’re so brave, Paige. I hope you know that.”

“I don’t know about all that, but I should get going so I can be home by the time my mom gets there.”

“Well you are to me. Could you come by again next week maybe? I still need some help and I would love to hear about that girl,” I say with a smile.

“Yea, I would love to tell you about her. She’s amazing,” Paige gushes.

“Ok, I’ll see you in class tomorrow. Have a good evening,” I say while walking her to the door.

“You too, thanks again for listening.”

“Any time.”

I gather my things before locking up and rushing home. It’s been a stressful day and I really need to check on Carmilla myself. I know Will was there but I need to see her.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

Laura comes running in the door like a bat out of hell and it honestly kind of scares me a bit. I was half asleep while Will was flipping through the channels.

“Whoa, Cupcake. What’s the rush?” I ask.

“How are you feeling? Are you ok?” she says while coming over and sitting next to me.

“I’m fine, feeling a little better but I should be asking you if you’re ok.”

“I’m ok… I think. I was just really worried about you and something happened today.”

Oh god. What now. I turn to her and grab her hands.

“What happened?” I ask, giving her hands a squeeze. Will goes into the kitchen to give us a moment.

“Your mother was in my classroom for all of 6th and 7th period, typing little notes and staring at me. I thought I was going to break down in front of my students but I somehow held it together. I know she’s just trying to scare me but I just”

“Laura, I’m so sorry. This won’t be going on much longer. That’s why Will is still here,” I say and pull her into a hug.

She pulls back and says “what’s going on?”

“Well, we don’t want to wait another minute. The lawyer should be here soon and we’re going to show her everything.”

“Seriously? That’s amazing. What can I do to help?” she asks. Laura is too sweet to me.

“Well, could you order enough dinner for everyone? Italian sounds good to me. How about you?” I ask.

“Perfect, I’ll make sure to get your favorite. We’re going to get her, Carm. I can feel it.”

“Me too, Cupcake.”

A while later, there’s a knock at the door. My heart jumps into my throat because I can’t believe that I’m about to show a stranger this part of my life. When Laura opens the door, I’m relieved to see that it’s just the food delivery kid. Laura pays and sends him on his way and I barely have time to get comfortable again before we hear another knock at the door. Shit.

I make my way to the door slowly to greet Ms. Bruner after Laura greets her and she looks horrified.

“Oh god, are you ok?” she asks before I even have the chance to say hello.

“I’m fine. I got roughed up breaking up a fight but that’s not why I called you. Let’s sit down and I’ll explain everything.”

“Oh, ok. I’m sorry you’re hurt but thanks for calling me. I’m glad to help however I can.”

“Ms. Bruner really helped one of my college buddies with a similar situation so I thought she would be the perfect person to help us. She’s impartial,” Will says to me as he sits down across from me at the table and I sit in between Laura and Ms. Bruner.

We all fix our plates with an assortment of pasta, chicken cutlets, salad and bread while Laura pours everyone some wine and me some water. We eat for a few minutes in comfortable silence before Ms. Bruner speaks up.

“So, why have you all brought me here?” she asks.

“We need to speak to you about our mother,” Will says.

“Ok, what about her?” she asks.

“Well, she’s the principal at Silas High and she’s planning on becoming the superintendent of the school district. We can’t let that happen,” I say.

Ms. Bruner sets her fork down and I think that she can sense that she’s about to hear something horrible.

“She abused us for most of our lives. Starved us, locked us up, and still tries to manipulate us by threatening our jobs and my girlfriend’s job here. Someone who did such horrible things should not be allowed to work with children and we can’t allow it to go on any longer.”

“I see… but why did you hold onto this for so long?” she asks.

“We were frightened of her, but enough is enough. We have to do something,” Will says.

“Ok, well without any evidence we”

“Oh, we have plenty of that,” I say, pulling the box from Laura’s hands and placing it in front of her. “In here, you’ll find videos, pictures and journals that my brother collected over the years of everything she did to us.”

“Holy cow, this is incredible. It’s not every day that you have such strong evidence against a suspect. You all have done the right thing here,” she says.

“I mean, I know it’s too late for any prosecution but”

“What are you talking about?”

“I was told the statute of limitations has run out on this,” I say.

“How long has it been since you both moved away from your mother’s house and out of the abusive situation?”

“We both moved out when we turned eighteen so it’s been eight years for me and six years for my brother.”

“Well, I have great news then. The statute may have run out for you since the limit is eight years, but we can prosecute every count she committed against William here. If this evidence checks out, she’ll be going to prison for a very long time.”

//

I suddenly can’t breathe and everything goes white. This can’t be real. I can hear people talking but I’m not able to register what they’re saying. Only Laura rubbing my back brings me back enough to prevent them from calling 911.

“Carm, are you ok?” Laura asks.

“Yea, I’m fine. I just can’t believe it.”

“I know, this is great news. She’s going to pay for what she did to you and Will,” she says.

“So what do we need to do?” Will asks.

“Nothing. Let me contact some detectives and get the process started. Carmilla, you said that you and Laura work at Silas with your mother?”

“Yes.”

“I suggest you both take a few days off until we are able to get a warrant to apprehend her. There’s a process that we have to go through to make sure everything is by the book. We have to with a high profile case like this.”

“What about our jobs? She’s already threatened to fire Laura and was harassing her in her classroom today,” I say, grabbing Laura’s hand.

“Your jobs will be just fine. Even if she fires you tomorrow, I will be able to take that to court and get you your job back. She will have no more power over you as soon as the district attorney sees the contents of this box.”

“Wow, I can’t believe this is really happening,” Will says.

“Well, you all lay low for a couple of days. I will call the D.A. when I leave here and report back to you in the morning. We’re going to get her. I will do everything I can to make sure of it,” Ms. Bruner says.

We all shake hands and she leaves to get started on the case. Will leaves shortly after because it’s been a rough day for all of us and we need some rest. Laura cleans up the table before joining me on the couch.

“Hey, it’s all going to be ok now. Your mom is finally going to pay for what she’s done,” Laura says while curling into my side and I pull her in tight. I really missed her today.

“I know, it just seems too good to be true. Nothing is ever this easy with mother,” I say.

“I feel like Ms. Bruner knows what she’s doing. I feel good about this.”

“I do too, I’m just still scared.”

Laura sits up and grabs the unbroken side of my face before kissing me softly.

“I know, but you’re strong enough to do this. You’re stronger than I’ll ever be, Carmilla.”

She kisses me again and I swear I don’t deserve her but I’m glad she’s here.

She leans in closer and says “ok, we’ll deal with all this tomorrow. Right now, I want you naked in my bed so I can kiss away every bit of pain you feel,” Laura says into my ear while gently moving her hands into my hair.

“Sounds good to me.”

Laura walks me to the bedroom, sits me down on the edge of her bed. She gently pulls my shirt over my head and lays me down before taking my shorts and underwear off. She strips down to her bra and underwear off before crawling under the covers with me. She lays her head on my chest for a while and just holds me like I’ve been needing her to all day. I reach and tuck some hair behind her ear before pulling her into a long, languid kiss. I can’t believe that after I’ve told her about everything, she’s still here. She still loves me and she’s still here.

Laura spends the next hour or so kissing and massaging all my pain away. She the perfect combination of firm and gentle to take all my fear and stress away and I love her more in this moment than I ever have before. After everything that’s happened in the last few days, this is exactly what I needed. We fall asleep knowing that a war is coming, but comforted knowing that we don’t have to face it alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying the angst. I didn't really expect this story to go here but I love it. Stay with me. It will all pay off in the end.
> 
> You can find me at 2edge4u.tumblr.com if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you so much for reading this long ass chapter.


	14. It's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I really didn't expect this story to take such a dark turn when I started writing it but I have no ragrets and I really hope you love it as much as I do.
> 
> Trigger Warning: Violence, Kind of Scary

**Laura POV**

Last night I set my alarm for around 4 am. I needed to get up so early so I can email Ms. Spielsdorf to explain that Carmilla and I will be out for the next three days and also send some assignments for the subs to use while we’re gone. I probably should have sent all this last night, but Carmilla was in so much pain and I didn’t want to leave her. She seems to be sleeping comfortably so I can sneak away for a few minutes.

I open my laptop and draft out an email:

_Ms. Spielsdorf,_

_I hope this message finds you well. I’m afraid that Ms. Karnstein and I will be out for the next three days. I’m sure that you heard about the accident at school yesterday. She needs someone to help her in her healing process and I am in the position to do that. I have already put in for a substitute for both of us using the online program we are to use and it has been approved. Attached to this email you will find .pdf files detailing the assignments that each of our classes are to work on while we are gone and a copy of the note we received from the hospital explaining everything. Thank you for your understanding and support during this difficult time. If you have any questions pertaining the attached assignments, please email me at this address._

_With regards,_

_Laura Hollis_

It’s not that I really want to take off work, but Ms. Bruner is right. The principal was already harassing me in class. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the same building as her after she found out about what we’re doing. It’s probably not very smart to be working right now and knowing that my job is still safe makes me feel a lot more comfortable about this situation.

Once I shut down my laptop, I head back to the bedroom to find Carmilla still sound asleep. After everything she went through yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised if she sleeps all day and I would let her. She deserves it. I climb into bed behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling myself as close to her as I can. I love it when she holds me but sometimes I think I love holding her more. Everything feel right and back to normal when she’s in my arms. I almost feel like I can protect her from what’s coming and I drift back to sleep feeling comfortable for the first time in a while.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

I wake up to the sound of my phone going off in the living room. I must have left it in there last night. Laura is wrapped around me so tight that I can’t really move but it’s honestly fine. I really don’t mind it. I lift my head in an attempt to roll over and face Laura but I feel like I’ve been hit by a school bus. I haven’t been in this much pain ever I don’t think and I groan loudly before I can even stop myself. This must have scared Laura awake because she’s climbing over me so she can see my face within seconds.

“Carm, are you ok? What’s wrong?” she asks, checking up and down every inch of my body frantically.

I grab her hand and she stops. “I’m fine, my head is just killing me, but I guess I expected that.”

“I’m sorry. I was just having a nightmare and then I heard you and you sounded like you were in pain and I guess I panicked.”

I brush her hair behind her ear and rub her arm until I feel her calm down enough to breathe again.

“Laura, I’m fine. We’re here alone and we’re both fine. No one can get us, ok?”

“Ok, I’m sorry”

“No need to be sorry, Cupcake. Things have been pretty crazy lately. It’s perfectly understandable if you’re a little jumpy.”

We both hear my phone start ringing again from the living room and Laura jumps up to get it for me since my head is throbbing at the moment. When Laura comes back into the room, I know immediately that something is wrong.

“Who is it?” I ask.

Laura is just staring at the phone.

“Laura, who is it?”

“Carmilla, you have seventeen missed calls from your mother. Twelve voicemails.”

I reluctantly hit play on the last voicemail that mother left and put it on speaker phone.

“ _Carmilla. Darling. My glittering, diamond girl. I cannot believe that you would betray me in such a way. After everything I’ve done for you? I am appalled that you would go to such levels to live your disgusting life style. Your father was right to leave I suppose. Who would ever want a fucking filthy excuse for a daughter such as you? I know that I certainly don’t anymore. You are what parents have nightmares about. You have ruined my life and I won’t let this go on any longer. You and little miss moppet better watch yourselves, Carmilla. You may find yourself in a lot of trouble before you know it. See you soon, darling.”_

“Oh my god, she knows something is wrong. Someone must have tipped her off or something. She knows a lot of people in this town.”

“What are we going to do?” Laura asks, holding the still ringing phone.

“We’ve got to get out of here. Now,” I say. “Take the battery out of my phone. We can use yours if we need to contact someone.”

Laura tears the back of my phone apart in seconds, throwing the battery onto the bed beside me. She runs to her closet and pulls out a couple of duffle bags.

“Laura, hold on.”

“No, we’ve got to pack quickly because she has my address and you’re hurt and I don’t know what she’s planning and”

“Laura, come here.”

“We just have to get out of here right now Carmilla because I have to keep you safe and I can’t do that here and” Laura rambles while she tears through her closet and is throwing clothes into the bag.

I takes all the strength I have, but I get up from the bed and walk over to Laura.

“Laura. Stop.”

I reach down, grab her arm and pull her up into a hug. She tries to fight me at first but then just breaks down into tears. I know that she’s terrified and I am too, but we need to stay calm and work out getting out of here undetected.

“Laura, it’s going to be ok. Come over and sit with me,” I say as I pull her to the bed.

“Carm, what are we going to do?” she’s crying even harder.

“Pack a bag for a few days and pack some things for me as well. I’m going to call Will and Ms. Bruner. Do you think you can have everything ready in fifteen minutes?” I ask.

“Yea, I think so.”

Laura looks over at the window. Her eyes are wide, her breathing is labored and every part of her is shaking. She’s honestly terrified and it’s all my fault. I put her in this situation and I can’t let anything bad happen to her. I cup her face gently with my hands, running soothing fingers over her red cheeks and wipe her tears.

“Laura, I will keep you safe. No matter what it takes, I won’t let her do anything to you. Hurry up and pack and we’ll be on the road to the cabin in no time. Ok?”

“Ok. I’ll hurry,” she says.

I grab Laura’s phone and head to the living room. I dial up Will’s number first and he answers on the first ring. He never does that so mother must be calling him too.

“Carmilla?” he says.

“Yea, it’s me. Hey, has mother been calling you?” I ask.

“Yes. Non-stop. She knows something is happening. She’s been saying some awful things,” he adds.

“I know, Will. I’m taking Laura to my cabin. You remember where that is don’t you?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“Do not tell ANYONE but Ms. Bruner that we’re there. Mother doesn’t know where it is and I need to keep it that way. Where are you going to stay?”

“I’m going to crash with Kirsch. I should be fine there,” Will says.

“Ok, well if things get too bad here, come to the cabin. Just make sure you aren’t followed,” I say.

“Ok, thanks Kitty. Stay safe and keep in touch.”

“You too.”

I hang up to make a quick call to my lawyer before getting dressed.

“Erin Bruner speaking.”

“Ms. Bruner, it’s Carmilla Karnstein.”

“Hello Carmilla, is everything ok?”

“Not really. It appears as though my mother knows something is up because she’s kind of losing it. Calling and leaving threatening messages for me and my brother.”

“Oh god, how could she?”

“I don’t know. I wanted to tell you that Laura and I are getting out of here. If things get really bad, William knows where I’ll be. You can contact me on this phone. Please keep me updated on the case. Ok?”

“Absolutely, please stay safe Carmilla. It appears as though your mother has a lot of connections in this town. We don’t know how far her reach goes.”

“I know and I will. Thank you,” I say before hanging up and joining Laura in the bedroom.

“How’s it going in here? Need any help?” I ask.

“I’m almost done. Will you get what we’ll need from the bathroom?” Laura asks. She is significantly calmer, stoic even.

“Sure thing.”

While I’m packing up things in the bathroom, I’m finally able to take some medicine for my debilitating headache. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with this whole fleeing situation, but to do it with a fractured cheek bone and a concussion is making it almost impossible. I have to do it. I have to get Laura out of here and make sure she’s safe.

I finally get everything together and go to the bedroom to find Laura packed and ready to go. We make sure everything in the apartment is turned off and all the windows are locked before dead bolting the door and heading for my house. Laura insists on driving since I’m still not feeling that well and that’s probably a good idea. Since I’m not driving, I can keep an extra look out around us to make sure we’re not being followed. We’re driving through town and Laura is silent. She’s usually trying to make small talk in the car to keep her mind occupied but right now she’s lost in her thoughts and on a mission.

“Laura, everything ok over there?” I ask, knowing that it’s really not.

“Yea, I’m fine. I’m just a little freaked out. How can this be happening?” she asks.

“I’m so sorry, Laura. I never meant to put you in this position. If you don’t want to”

She jerks the wheel and pulls off the side of the road, slamming to a stop. She takes off her seat belt and turns to me.

“Stop. Don’t you even say it, Carmilla. There is nothing that she could do to ever get me to walk away from you. I know I look scared, and I am, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going anywhere. Got it?”

“Wow, ok. I got it. I just feel like I did this to you. We’re here because of me.”

“No, you’re wrong. Your mother is the monster here, not you. When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with every part of you. Even the parts that may lead us into scary territory. But that’s how love is truly tested, right? If we can make it out of this and still love each other, then there is no stopping us. I will not let her win this time. I’m ready to fight with you, Carmilla. She can’t control you anymore.”

“You’re right, she can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you never have to then,” she says before smiling at me and pulling back onto the road.

We drive further into town and just before Laura pulls onto my street, I notice something strange. There’s a blacked out SUV car sitting across the street from my house a few houses down. The lights turn on as soon as I see the car. This just isn’t right.

“Laura keep going straight.”

“What?”

“Please, just do what I say. We cannot go down there. We’ll figure it out but keep going straight.”

Laura does what I say and drives forward without saying a word.

“Turn right here,” I say. “Laura, please stay calm but I need you to speed up a little.”

“Carm, please. What is going on?”

“Don’t panic, but we’re being followed by a man that was waiting at my house. Turn where I say and drive as fast as you are able and everything will be fine. Do you trust me?” I ask.

“Yes.”

“Good, turn left here, speed up and get into the right lane.”

“Ok.”

As Laura is weaving through traffic and breaking every regulation in the book, I turn around to see the SUV making the turn shortly after we did. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s obviously a trained professional and I think we’re in over our heads here.

“Turn right here.”

Laura turns and the SUV follows. No matter where we go, this guy is always on our tail. I’m starting to think we’re never going to get away when I get an idea.

“Ok, switch seats with me.”

“What? No! You can’t drive in your condition.”

“Laura, listen to me. What we need to do to get away from this guy, I can’t ask of you. Please. Just switch with me and I will get us out of this.”

“Fine.”

I crawl over the console and slide in the seat behind Laura as she keeps the steering wheel steady. She climbs into the passenger seat and I hit the gas, heading for the freeway.

“Laura, help me with my seatbelt,” I say as I’m weaving through traffic at more than 80 mph.

She crawls over the center console and fastens my seatbelt, pulling it tight before sitting back down.

“Laura, what I’m about to do may scare you. I’m asking that you please try to stay calm and don’t scream. I need to concentrate to keep us alive and I need you wit me. Can you do that?” I ask.

“Yes, I’ll try.”

“Alright then. Buckle up, Creampuff.”

She clips her seatbelt just as I make one of the dumbest decisions of my life and pull onto the on-ramp of the freeway going the wrong direction as fast as I can. The SUV quickly follows so I have no choice but to amp things up. I accelerate, reaching close to 110 mph while I weave in and out of every lane while angry motorists flee for their lives. There are cars running into the concrete barriers to get away from us and others barely missing a head on collision. Luckily, my car is very fast so I’m able to gain a significant lead on the douche bag following us. Suddenly, I hear a huge noise from behind us and see a cloud of smoke in the rear-view mirror and I know it’s safe to slow down a bit. He just couldn’t keep up in that giant SUV of his and crashed into some tractor trailer trying. I slow down to around 40 mph and exit the freeway so I can check on Laura. Once I’m parked on the side of the road I turn to her and oh god I fucked up. She’s gripping the ‘oh shit’ handle with one hand, her other hand is currently bruising my thigh and her face has gone completely white.

“Laura, I’m so sorry. Are you ok?”

She can’t say a word. I reach for her hand and she just stays frozen. No matter how hard I squeeze her hand, she’s like a statue.

“Laura, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how else to get away from him. He was right behind us. Please say something.”

“I- I’m fine. I just thought we were going to crash and there’s so much”

“I’m sorry. Please be ok. I need you to be ok.”

“I’m fine, let’s just go. I need to get out of here,” she says.

I pull her hand up to my lips and kiss her palm until she relaxes enough to touch me. I pull her into a hug and whisper “I’m sorry” into her ear a few times and kiss her neck before turning back to the steering wheel and taking off.

I drive as fast as I can without the police taking notice until we get out of town. We still have another hour and a half of driving before we reach the cabin but we need to eat something and pick up some groceries and other items. We stop at a diner on the side of the highway for a quick bite to eat. Neither one of us are really all that hungry, but we both know that eating is necessary to keep your strength up so we order something anyway.

After we both eat enough of our meals to satisfy the other, we go across the street to this little general type store. Laura picks out some food and drinks while I get some clothes and other essentials. We pay for our items and the gas we just put in the car before we’re out the door in all of ten minutes. One of mother’s lackeys could find us any minute and we need to get out of here as soon as possible.

Laura takes over driving for me because we’re further away from town and my eyesight is getting a little blurry. We drive the rest of the way without incident and we’re able to be comfortable, at least for a little while. We pull onto the dirt road leading up to the cabin and I hear Laura sigh in relief.

We drive up the mountain and pull into the gravel driveway to my cabin. Just as we’re getting out of the car to stretch our legs, Laura’s phone rings. It’s Ms. Bruner.

“Hello, Carmilla?”

“Yes, how’s it going with the case?”

“I have good news. I just left the district attorney’s office and he feels very good about our chances for a conviction here. Are you all safe?”

“I think so. Mother had us followed but I took care of that. I’m sure you’ll hear about it on the news. What’s going to happen now?” I ask, while Laura is walking around the car to listen a bit closer.

“Well, a judge has to approve a search warrant and we can go from there. I will call you as soon as hear things are in motion. Stay safe, Carmilla.”

“We will, thank you.”

I hang up and turn to Laura. She looks so frightened and I could just kick myself for letting this happen. How could I let mother get to her? What am I going to do?

“Everything ok?” Laura asks.

“Yea, I think so. Ms. Bruner said that the D.A. is working on a search warrant for mother’s house.”

“That’s great, Carmilla! She’s so going down!” Laura smiles for the first time since all this started and it reminds me of every reason why I need her.

“Looks like it. Let’s get everything inside. It will be dinner time soon and I don’t know about you but an early bed time sounds good to me.”

“Oh, definitely. Today has been an absolute disaster and I’m exhausted too," she says.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

I help Carm get inside before I go out to get the bags from the car. She’s still pretty banged up from the whole ‘being punched and thrown into a cabinet thing’ and today certainly hasn’t helped her healing process a whole lot. What the hell are we going to do now? I knew her mother is crazy, but I didn’t know that she was this level of crazy. To have us followed to the point where we need to break a thousand laws to get away? This is just ridiculous and I’m honestly terrified. I don’t know if things are going to get any worse but I have a really bad feeling.

Once I get everything inside, I make my rounds in the house to make sure everything is locked up tight. I know Carmilla said that her mother doesn’t know about this place, but she also said that she has a lot of connections. I don’t think we could ever be too careful with her. Once I make sure that nothing could get in this house, not even a gust of wind, I set out to find where Carm ended up. I systematically search every room and she’s nowhere to be found. Panic starts to set in when I check the bedroom one more time. I missed her the first time because she’s in bed with the blanket pulled completely over her.

“Carm, you ok in there?” I ask, standing at the foot of the bed.

She pulls the blanket back, revealing her tear-stained face. Neither of us say a word and I crawl into the bed and curl into her side. I don’t know how to make her feel safe right now and it’s killing me. The truth is, I don’t know much about her mother and what she’s capable of. All I can do is be here right now and hold her as long as she wants me to.

We lay there for probably an hour or so. Carmilla has her head on my chest and I’m running my fingers through her hair. Neither one of us fall asleep but we don’t say a word either. So much has happened and I’m not sure we know where to start. A few days ago, we were worried about which movie to watch next and now we may be running for our lives. This is not what my expected my life to be like right now, but I couldn’t be anywhere else. I know Carmilla was trying to tell me that I don’t have to be here when we were in the car and I couldn’t even let her say it. How could I ever leave her? Especially in a time like this! I knew from the night that Carmilla surprised me with dinner after going home that I can’t live without her. I may be in danger now and my father would absolutely lose his mind if he knew what was going on, but leaving wouldn’t help anything. No matter how bad things get, I will never leave Carmilla’s side.

Carmilla is just about to fall asleep when my phone starts ringing. I pull if from my back pocket and it’s Ms. Bruner again so I hand the phone to Carmilla. She answers and puts it on speaker. Thank god.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Carmilla?”

“Yea, hi. What’s going on?” Carm asks.

“Good news again. The search warrant has been approved for your mother’s house. If there’s any evidence there to verify your brother’s records then we’ve got her, Carmilla. I’ll call you as soon as I hear something. You guys hang in there.”

“That’s great, thank you.”

Ms. Bruner hangs up and we stare at the phone for a second. I can’t believe that this is happening. Not only is she going to be out of our lives, but she’s going to pay for what she did to Carmilla and Will all those years.

“I can’t believe it,” Carmilla says.

“I know, it’s really happening. They’re going to get her, Carm. You did it.”

“This is so crazy. She’s controlled everything for so long. I don’t know how to live life without her running it. It’s over. I’ll be free,” she says.

I pull her into a tight hug before saying “I know, but you’ll be ok. You have me and I’ll help you figure things out. I’ve got you.”

“I love you, Laura.”

“I love you too.”

We lay there for a while longer before deciding that we should probably have some dinner. Carmilla comes out to keep me company while I make us some tacos. Everything almost feels normal for a while. I’m stirring the season into the meat when I feel Carmilla’s hands snake around my stomach and she starts to kiss my neck. For just a little while, we’re able to forget the chaos that brought us here and just enjoy each other in the moment.

It takes probably 25 minutes before we’re eating. I forgot the hot sauce at my apartment and Carmilla is not afraid to show her disappointment, but it just makes me laugh. She’s so cute when she’s like this. I somehow manage to make a delicious meal even without the hot sauce and we eat every bit of it. With the stress of everything that’s going on, neither one of us has eaten much lately and I guess we were hungrier than we thought. After I clean up the dishes, we both change into something more comfortable and climb into bed. There’s honestly no point in trying to watch anything on tv because we are too freaked out to concentrate on anything like that. We might as well get some rest before tomorrow comes. There’s no telling what it will bring.

Carmilla is pressed up against me and I have my hand around her shoulder. We’re about to finally fall asleep when the phone rings again. It’s almost midnight so this can’t be good. I feel like I’m going to be sick. Carmilla reaches to the bedside table to unplug my phone and we both sit up.

“It’s William,” she says.

“Answer it,” I say.

She hits the answer button and puts it on speaker again.

“Will. What’s going on?” she asks.

“Carmilla, the police went to mother’s house. Ms. Bruner said that they found the locks still on the closet and bedroom doors. They found the scratches on the doors with dried blood and tissue still on them. They took samples of everything.”

“That’s great news, Will. Did they arrest her yet?”

“That’s why I’m calling. No. They can’t arrest her until they process all the evidence. Everything is apparently circumstantial until they can directly link the evidence in the house to the stuff we turned in. It will take time,” Will says.

“That’s fucking bullshit! So what does that mean? Mother is free to roam the streets until those little lab rats finish their work?” Carm shouts.

“Unfortunately, yes. They said they didn’t have enough to arrest her. I don’t know where she is right now so I want you to be extra vigilant.”

“She can’t find us here, Will. It’s you I should be worrying about.”

“I’ll be fine, Kitty. If I hear anything I’ll call you. You do the same.”

“I will, please be careful,” Carmilla says.

“You too,” Will says and hangs up.

Carmilla drops the phone to the bed and just falls into me. This is all way too much for anyone to handle. I can’t imagine how she must feel right now. Her own mother hating her this much? I never knew this kind of evil existed in the world, but I will do whatever it takes to vanquish it and give Carmilla the life that she deserves. She eventually calms down enough to lay back down on the bed with me.

“Carmilla?”

“Yea?” she says.

“I’m really sorry all this is happening to you. I don’t really know what to do right now, but I feel like I have to do something. I want to keep you safe and I don’t know how and I”

“Laura,” she says while lightly touching my face. I can’t help but stop talking when she’s looking at me like that. Her eyes are so warm and they're looking at every part of me. Suddenly, everything is ok.

“You don’t have to do anything. You’ve already given me everything by just being here. I’m sorry I’ve put you in this situation”

“Carm wait”

“No, please. Let me finish. I’m sorry that you had to run away with me. I’m sorry that we can’t just start our lives as a normal couple, only worrying about bills and sick pets. I’m sorry that you’re so scared and I’m sorry that we may be in danger right now. I swear to you that I won’t let anything happen to you if it kills me. We will get through this and she will be gone soon enough. I love you, Laura Hollis. I don’t know what the future is going to bring, but I know that I want you in it.”

“I love you too, Carm. I’m not going anywhere and I don’t blame you for anything. None of this is your fault in any way. We will have our normal life once all this is over.”

Carmilla wraps her hands behind my neck and pulls me on top of her for the best kiss of my entire life. We’ve probably kissed a million times since we started dating, but this one is different. Every ounce of love and emotion she has in her body is surging into mine and I can feel every part of her burning me from the inside out. I have never felt this way and I never want to let go of her. I won’t ever let go of her. Carmilla feels it too because she’s holding onto me for dear life while we are drowning in each other without any reservation.

We don’t take things any further because Carmilla isn’t quite healthy enough for that yet. Her concussion hasn’t quite subsided yet and her cheek is still broken. We’re content with just holding each other until we fall asleep. Tomorrow will probably bring a lot more pain so we need to get some rest.

* * *

 

**Carmilla POV**

I wake up the next morning and it’s really dark in here. Laura must have gotten up and closed the curtains because I can’t see a thing. Wait. What the fuck? I can’t move. Where the fuck is Laura? My arms are tied behind my back and to my ankles. I can’t fucking move! I try to scream but there’s tape on my mouth and I can’t get anything out. I all can do is make muffled screams. I’m lying on my side and it looks like I’m in a fucking closet. Oh dear god she got me. I can’t believe it. She got me.

Once my eyes adjust to the lack of light, I see Laura laying across from me. She’s tied up and gagged too. This can’t be happening. Not to Laura. I’m screaming but nothing is coming out. Laura is still passed out and I don’t know what to do. I feel sick, like I’ve been drugged. Mother must have done something while we were asleep. How did she find us? How am I going to get us out of here? Oh my god this can’t be happening.

I use every bit of strength I have and scoot over to Laura. I’m kneeing her and head butting her softly; trying anything to wake her up. I need her help to figure out how to untie each other. It takes probably fifteen minutes of relentless and exhausting attempts to wake her before she finally comes back to me in a gasp of panic and dread. She pulls so hard on the ropes and screams, just as I did when I woke up. I move to where we are looking directly into each other’s eyes and try to calm her down enough to think of something and I suddenly get an idea.

I flip over so that my back is to her front. I scoot back and upward so my fingers can reach the duct tape across her mouth. It takes a long time to get a grip on the corner, but when I do, Laura pulls back and I pull forward to eventually free her from silence.

“Carmilla, what happened? Oh my god,” Laura’s crying and I can’t answer her. I start crying too but I motion for her to turn over too and take the tape off my mouth. After another ten minutes or so, the tape is off my mouth as well and we are face to face so we can talk quietly.

“I don’t know. I think she drugged us or something last night when we were sleeping. Are you ok?” I ask.

“No, I’m not ok. I’m hogtied in a closet with my girlfriend and I don’t who what’s waiting on the other side. I don’t remember what happened, but I think she hit me or at least someone did. I think some ribs on my right side are broken and I can’t see out of my left eye.”

“What the fuck? This can’t be happening. Laura, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s happening but I won’t give up. I’m so sorry I got you into this.”

“I love you, Carmilla.”

“I love you too. When we get out of this, I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I promise you that.”

“I’m going to hold you to it.”

I lean in to kiss her because at a certain point before you may face mortality, words become superfluous. Just as her lips brush mine and I feel her breathe me in, the door to the closet we’re being imprisoned in flies open and everything is over.

“Oh Carmilla, defiant to the end aren’t we. I knew I should have separated you, but that won’t matter for much longer,” mother says.

She steps in to the small room, grabs me by my hair and proceeds to drag me out kicking and screaming. Laura is screaming at the top of her lungs and trying to fight her way out the door when it is slammed shut again, leaving her to scream and wonder about my fate in the dark.

“Carmilla, no! Please take me!  You’ve done enough to her!” I hear Laura shout before I’m far enough to not be able to make out her words any more. I swear to god that she will have to kill me before I ever let her put a hand on Laura.

Mother drags me through the house and into the dining room where she has two chairs set up directly across from one another. She pulls me up into one of the chairs and ties me to it tightly before adjusting the rest of the ropes so that I can’t move a muscle. She sits in the chair directly across from me and plays with the knife while staring into me as if looks could kill.

“Carmilla, do you see what you actions have culminated to?” she asks.

“My actions? You can’t be serious, mother.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Carmilla. Because of you, my entire life has fallen apart. Again. You father left me because of you, your brother amounted to nothing because of you and now I will lose my job because of you. I can’t let you get away with this anymore.”

“Do you really not understand how fucking sick you are? You abused us, making every waking moment of our lives a living hell. You will go to prison for what you’ve done to us. It’s over, mother.”

“Well, you’re right about one thing, Carmilla. It is over. I’ll return in a moment,” she says.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I knows she’s crazy, but she’s not going to really hurt me. Right?

I hear Laura screaming and the sound is getting closer by the second. She’s yelling my name until her voice breaks and screaming for mother to let her go. I can’t take this anymore. I start kicking my legs and waving my hands as hard as I can within the restriction of the ropes until the chair falls over backward. I hit my head again and that’s probably not good but I need to get to Laura. When I look to the side, I see mother dragging Laura by her hair and tying her to the other chair just like she did to me.

“Carmilla! No!” Laura screams.

“Laura, I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!”

“Shut up, it’s not over yet! Bitch, you better let me go! I will kill you!” Laura yells.

“Oh, shut it you insufferable little twat,” mother says.

I scream this loud, primal roar because I cannot fathom the thought of sitting back and having to watch my mother kill the love of my life.

“Mother, please. Sit me up. We need to talk!” I say, hoping to get her attention on me.

It works, because I suddenly get pulled upright again only to see Laura tied to the chair across me with tears streaming down her face. She’s trapped and broken and it’s all my fault.

“What are you planning to do?” I ask. I don’t know what else to say. She’s clearly snapped.

“You’re going to sit there and watch as I kill your little pet here,” she says while she walks behind Laura and begins to braid her hair. Laura is squirming but somehow manages to hold it together.

“Mother, you don’t have to hurt her. It’s me you want. You hate me, not her. I’ll do whatever you want. Just let her go.”

“Why does it matter how you die? You both won’t make it through the next hour.”

“Please, just kill me. After everything I’ve don’t for you, you owe me at least that. Just kill me. You don’t have to hurt her, mother.”

“Fine, I’ll start with you and see where the night takes me.”

Laura starts screaming again and I can’t understand what she’s saying. It sounds like broken versions of “stop!” “you bitch!” and “take me!” but I can’t concentrate on anything but my mother approaching with the most frightening eyes I’ve ever seen. Whatever sane part of my mother was left is now gone because all I can see is 100% maniac. She doesn’t have any love left for me and all I see left in her is rage. This is it.

“Carmilla, I’ve had enough of you disappointing me. It’s over,” mother says.

I hear Laura screaming my name as I feel the knife puncture my stomach just above my belly button  and slide in excruciatingly slow. It takes an eternity for the blade to be completely buried into me before she pulls it back out. Laura is screaming louder and I look down to see blood running out of my body and the knife sliding back in. I can’t hear anything anymore and all I can see is mother’s face; she’s smiling. It’s almost like she’s been waiting her entire life for this moment. I’ve never seen her so happy.

Just as she’s about to thrust the knife in a third time, the door is kicked in and mother runs over to Laura. She puts the knife to Laura’s neck as guns are trained on her head.

I’m on the verge of unconsciousness, but I’m able to stay awake long enough to see mother start to slice Laura’s neck open and then I hear a gunshot. Everything goes black.

* * *

 

**Laura POV**

It’s been three days since the attack. I’m fine. I had to have a few stitches to close the wound on my neck but there shouldn’t even really be a visible scar. Carmilla had two surgeries to repair the damage done by the blade over the last three days. The doctors say that the procedures went well, but she hasn’t woken up yet. I haven’t left the hospital because I’ll never be able to forgive myself if she wakes up and I’m not here so LaF and Perry have been bringing me clothes and other things. She almost died and it’s because she was trying to save me. She convinced her mother to kill her first and she did, but Carmilla was strong enough to survive it.

If it wasn’t for Will’s gut feeling and Ms. Bruner calling Detective Benson, we would both be dead. Instead, I’m laying here beside Carmilla because she’s going to wake up soon. Lilita is dead and we are all free to live our lives. Life has been hard and it’s not perfect yet by any means, but I’m so thankful. Everything is going to be ok and Carmilla will finally be safe.

After reading a few chapters of _The Kite Runner_ to her, I run to the bathroom, only to come back to a miracle. When I walk back into the room, Carmilla has opened her eyes and she’s looking around trying to figure out where she is.

“Carm!?” I say, running over to her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“You’re mother tried to kill you, but you survived it. You’re alive and awake!” I say, leaning down to kiss her. I pull back and look into her eyes because I can’t believe that she’s here. She’s alive.

“Are you ok?” she asks.

“Me? I’m fine. She barely got me. Carmilla, you were stabbed twice and survived it. It’s a miracle you’re alive,” I said.

“What happened to mother?” she asked.

“She’s dead. That’s how we’re alive. She was killed before she cut my throat and they already had an ambulance on the way so they were able to give you blood right away. You lost so much blood. I thought you were dead,” I say as I begin to cry.

“Yea, but I’m not. I’m here. I can’t believe it’s over, Laura. We’re free,” she says and pulls me into another kiss. I could do this for the rest of my life and I think I’m going to.

“Oh my, I see that Ms. Karnstein has woken up,” the nurse says from behind us. I shoot up and turn to face her.

“Yes! She just woke up. We’re so happy!” I say.

“I see that. Do you mind if we check her out?” she asks.

“Oh course. Carm, I’ll be just outside. I love you,” I say to Carmilla.

“Love you too, Cupcake. Don’t go too far.”

“Never again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking though it and reading until the end. Now, back to your regularly schedule fluff and smut in the subsequent chapters :)
> 
> You can yell at me on my blog: 2edge4u.tumblr.com


	15. Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been weeks since the attack in the cabin. Carmilla is recovering well but is still in a lot of pain so Laura refuses to leave her side. After they come home, they have their friends over for dinner to thank them for their help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooo sorry for taking 84 years to update this fic. There have been a lot of changes in my life and to be honest I haven't been in the mood to do much of anything, let alone write something this emotional. I'm glad to be back though and I really hope that you enjoy this update. I'm super proud of it.

**Laura POV**

I can’t believe that today is finally here. It’s been more than two weeks, but today I finally get to bring Carm home from the hospital. I’ve stayed with her every night except for one. I ended up getting food poisoning from a sandwich I bought from the hospital cafeteria. The nurse sent me out of here in fear that I might have come down with a virus. While I understood the reason for her asking me to go, I was not happy about leaving Carm’s side and I made that very well known to the hospital staff in between dry heaving out the door. Once I was sure that I was in no way contagious, you better believe that I was back in that uncomfortable plastic covered chair in Carmilla’s room in no time.

Carmilla told me a few times that I should go home and get some rest; that she was fine. I know that she’s recovering well and with some time she would be back to normal, well as normal as you can be while missing a pretty substantial part of your small intestine. I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that she’s going to be gone the next time I wake up. I saw her mother stab her twice; putting the knife in down to the handle. If everyone hadn’t gotten there when they did, she would be dead. She lost so much blood that she went into shock in the ambulance and there was nothing that I could do but watch. I sat there and watched as the paramedics frantically worked to save her life and I couldn’t help but feel like a failure. I only remember bits and pieces from that night, but I do vaguely remember fighting Lilita. She chloroformed Carmilla first in her sleep. I woke up when I felt her body go limp in my arms and jumped up to fight Lilita. She ended up kicking me in the ribs and chloroformed me when I bent over in pain. I let Carmilla down and I swear on my life that I will never do it again.

So I’ve spent the last few weeks in this terrible chair during the day, making sure that she eats and stays hydrated. We sometimes take walks around the floor when she’s feeling up to it. It’s good for her because it keeps her muscles from getting weaker and it’s good for me because I love seeing the smile on her face when we make it to each new goal we’ve set. Depending on how she’s feeling, we have little checkpoints to gauge her progress. The first couple of days she was only able to make it to the nurse’s station before we had to go back to the room, but by the fourth day she was able to make it all the way to the bathroom by the elevators. The look of pride and accomplishment on her face was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. It took a couple more days of pushing herself but she’s been able to make it all the way around the seventh floor for a while now. The first day we made it, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me in the hallway. The boy in the room next door yelled “nice!” and Carmilla flipped him off before I dragged her back into the room laughing into the kiss. I know she has a long way to go, but I’m so proud of her for fighting so hard to get through this. She’s in terrible pain but pushes through it because she wants her life back.

The first day she woke up, I was so afraid to even touch her out of fear that it might hurt. It was almost unbearable because I never realized how much I crave her touch until I couldn’t have it. I was fine during the day when I could fuss over everything she needed, but at night was when it hurt the most. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed with her and lay my head on her chest but I couldn’t take it if I was the source of any more pain in her life. So I slept in that horrible chair the first two nights, but the night after that she asked me to get in bed with her. She said that she missed me so much she couldn’t stand it so I very carefully laid down next to her and draped my arm over her chest. We both cried from the overwhelming emotions from everything that we had been through in the last week and a half but we were ok because we were together. That was the first night since the attack that I didn’t have a nightmare.

“Where the hell is my doctor? She said that I would be discharged at two and home by three but it’s 2:30 and I want to go home,” Carmilla says.

“I don’t know but maybe she had an emergency with another patient” I say, trying to reason with her a little bit.

“Well, they’re going to have a real emergency on their hands if they don’t let me out of here soon.”

She goes to stand up, presumably to ask go find her nurse and ask where the doctor is, but winces in pain and sits back down.

“Carmilla, will you just take a deep breath? I’m sure Dr. Lockhart will be here soon and then we can go home. LaF and Perry said that all of my things are moved in so I can just take you home.”

“To our home,” she says with a smile.

I close in the space between us to kiss her and we hear someone clearing their throat over by the door.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m here to see you one last time before you go. I just have to make sure everything’s still good with your stitches,” Dr. Lockhart says while walking into the room.

“Finally,” Carmilla says.

“I know, I know. You’re ready to get out of here and I bet you’re been giving your girlfriend here a hard time about it, right?” Dr. Lockhart says and then looks over at me, giving me a sideways smile.

“I have not.”

I look over at Carm and turn my head to the side.

“Ok, well maybe a little bit. Where have you been anyway? You said I would be out of here by 2:00,”  
 Carm says.

“I’m sorry, we just had a situation with one of my other patients. He’s fine now but he wasn’t there for a minute.”

“See Carm, I told you it was something like that,” I say and grab her hand.

“Yea, well I’m sorry,” Carmilla says.

“Ok, lay back and pull up your gown,” Dr. Lockhart says.

“Don’t you think you should buy me dinner first, doc?”

“Good lord are you ever not going to use that joke, Carmilla? Just when I was beginning to think you were one of my favorite patients.”

“Nope. I’m gonna say it every time,” Carmilla laughs.

“Well, everything looks good. Laura, you’ll make sure that she follows the recovery instructions carefully and takes her medicine on time?” Dr. Lockhart asks.

“Yes, of course. Thank you for everything, Dr. Lockhart. This would have been so much harder for Carm if it weren’t for you. You saved her life that night and I could never repay you,” I say.

“Yea, thanks doc. It’s because of you that I’m still here with Laura and I can’t thank you enough,” Carm says.

“Please, call me Abby. It was really a pleasure getting to know both of you. I’m so sorry that we met under these circumstances but never forget that it was your strength that got you through this, not mine. You will both be fine if you take care of each other. Please don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions. Good luck to you both,” Abby says before smiling and turning to continue her rounds.

After the nurse disconnects her IV and goes over the extensive discharge instructions, I help Carm get dressed and I wheel her out to the car. She tried to fight getting in the wheelchair at first but it’s hospital policy and she eventually gave up. We stopped on the way home for smoothies but we were in the driveway in just over thirty minutes. I expected all of my things to still be in boxes in the living room, but LaF and Perry must have stayed for a while because not only is everything already put away but they hung up a huge ‘Welcome Home” banner. I help Carmilla to the couch and go to the kitchen to get some water. I opened the fridge to find it recently stocked with a ton of ready to eat foods, drinks and even desserts that Perry must have made. I’ll call them tomorrow to thank them but right now I kind of just want to relax. I don’t remember the last time I was actually able to take a complete breath.

When I return to the living room, I find Carm laying down on the couch and staring up at the ceiling. I walk over to her, stand by the side of the couch and lower the water bottle down to her.

Instead of taking the bottle, she opens her arms so I set the water down on the table and lay down beside her and allow her to wrap herself around me.

I sit up just enough to see her and ask, “Are you feeling ok?”

“Yea, I’m fine. I mean, I’m in a bit of pain but nothing too bad. I was just thinking about things,” she says.

“What kind of things?”

“It’s just that I can’t believe she’s gone. I just don’t know how to feel about it. It’s like I want to be happy because she’s dead because we’re finally safe but at the same time I don’t want to be happy about it. How could I be happy? That sounds sick doesn’t it?”

“No, it’s not sick. It makes sense. I don’t know that happy is exactly the right word. I think maybe you’re more relieved than you are happy right now.”

“Oh, I’m pretty happy right now but it has nothing to do with my mother,” Carm says.

I lean down and kiss her softly on the side of her lips. She turns the rest of the way to meet me while bringing her hand around to the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. We’re lost there for a few minutes just kissing each other and I swear that my insides are melting. The most gentle touch from Carmilla will set me on fire and I don’t understand it but I don’t want to. Love isn’t supposed to make sense. It isn’t supposed to fit together like a key in a lock. I never understood that before I met Carmilla, but now realize that love is something so much more complex but if you can figure out how to really love someone for who they are and not for what they can do for you then you can have the world.

* * *

 

 

**Carmilla POV**

We must have fallen asleep on the couch shortly after we got home because it’s getting dark out and Laura’s half way on top of me, fast asleep. I still can’t believe that this is how I get to wake up every day. I used to think that I had the worst luck in the world, but lately I can’t help but feel the opposite. I’m still alive, Laura’s still alive and we’re now living together; safe from my mother. I may be in pain for a while but life honestly couldn’t get any better.

I run my fingers up and down her back gently to wake her up, but she’s not stirring at all.

“Laura?” I say.

Nothing. She’s out cold.

“Laura. Wake up, sweetheart. We slept all afternoon” I say, brushing the hair away from her face and behind her ear.

She snuggles in closer to me before saying “do we actually have to get up though? I’m so comfortable.”

“Don’t you want to eat something other than hospital food? I know I do.”

“You’re right.”

Laura orders us some pizza and we go upstairs to check out what the ginger twins did with all her stuff. I can’t say that I was exactly crazy about them poking around our house when I wasn’t here but they seem pretty trustworthy I guess. They put all of Laura’s clothes on the right side of the closet and brought over a second dresser for the rest of her things. They managed to make it look like she’s lived here all along and I honestly love that. I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t know how I ever survived before Laura was in my life.

“You’ll have to thank your friends for me. This was really nice of them,” I say.

“I will, but you do know that they’re your friends too, right? LaF and Perry were so worried about you.”

“Yea, I guess I do. I’m just not used to people being this nice to me for no reason.”

“Well, get used to it.”

The pizza arrives pretty quickly and we eat it in record timing because it has been weeks since we had  real food and I guess we were both starving. I read a little bit while Laura cleans up dinner before she takes me upstairs.

“Do you want a shower?” Laura asks.

“I do, but I don’t think I can stand up that long. I’m so tired. Can’t I have a bath instead?”

“No, you can’t have one until your stitches are out. We can’t aggravate the wound too much.”

“But I’m so sick of smelling like a hospital,” I pout.

“I have an idea. You get undressed and I’ll be right back,” Laura says.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

I manage to get my jeans off without much incident and I’m thankful that Laura brought me a button-up shirt to wear home because I’m really sore right now and I think that raising my hands above my head is out of the question. When she comes back in the bedroom carrying a chair, she moves past the bed and into the bathroom without so much as a glance in my direction. She’s determined to set this up quickly and I’m glad because I’m actually a little self-conscious about how I look right now. I’m usually very confident in my looks, I would dare to say even a bit too confident sometimes but with everything that’s happened I’m feeling a down. My entire torso is a dark purple color with hints of yellow and red, lined with ugly stitches across the skin. My face is still bruised from the accident at school and I just feel gross. I know this will all go away in time but I can’t get over it right now.

Laura comes back out from the bathroom and her compassionate eyes find mine. She gives me a small smile and I suddenly forgot what I was so worried about. How does she do that?

“You ready?” she asks.

“I guess so,” I say before standing up.

She walks over to help me up and leads me into the bathroom. The shower is already running at what’s probably the perfect temperature.

“Ok, so I put a chair in there for if you get tired. I can stay in here if you want or I can go out into the bedroom.”

“Oh, so you’re not coming with me then?” I ask.

“I can if that’s what you want,” Laura says.

“Of course that’s what I want. I just want to get back to normal and you are my normal.”

She pulls her shirt over her head before walking over to me and pulling me into a kiss. I wrap my arms around her back and unclasp her bra while she wraps her arms around the back of my neck. Her skin feels so good I’m getting weaker than usual but she’ll be there to hold me up. She tugs on my underwear with her thumbs until they fall to the floor. I quickly rid her of her jeans and underwear and we climb into the shower. She sits in the chair and I sit in her lap, facing her so the water is falling against my back. We sit like this for a while, kissing each other intently. I don’t know for how long and I don’t really care because the combination of the hot water hitting my sore muscles and her roaming hands is enough to stop time completely.

We eventually pull back and she reaches to put some soap on a wash cloth and gently wash my skin. She starts by kissing my neck and then she washes the skin there. She kisses my collar bones and then washes there. As she’s making her way down, I start to feel a little uncomfortable and I think she can tell.

“Carm, what’s wrong?” she asks, sitting back.

“Nothing. It’s just… All these bruises are disgusting and I hate that you have to see me like this.”

“Carm, please don’t. You are as beautiful to me now as you have ever been; maybe even more beautiful. I love every single part of you. From your lips (kiss), to your chin (kiss), to your neck (kiss), to your shoulders (kiss), to your incredible and overflowing heart (kiss), to your perfect stomach (kiss), to your really hot boobs (kiss),” we both laugh and she sits up to meet my eyes. “I even love your scars because they are a part of you and I love you.”

She leans back down to slowly kiss my wounds and I couldn’t fight the tears burning streaks down my face if I wanted to. What did I ever do to deserve Laura Hollis?

“I love you too. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you that night, Laura.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t have to. We’re both here and I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

I smile and she continues to gently wash away dirt and fears down the drain. She carefully cleans my wounds and even helps me shampoo my hair since I’m not really strong enough to lift my arms up for that long and I haven’t felt this good in weeks. She holds me closely while softly washing my back and have never felt so loved in my life. Part of me wants to stay in this shower with her forever but the bed is sounding pretty good too.

She helps me out of the shower, dries me off, helps me get dressed and into bed. I’m not really used to people taking care of me like this so it’s been kind of strange. Honestly, if it were anyone other than Laura, I would probably complain a lot more and fight them on everything but any excuse to be close to the cupcake is good enough for me. She hops back into the shower to wash her hair and I settle into a good book while I wait for her. I somehow manage to stay awake and I think she’s just as surprised as I am.

“Wow, you’re still up?” she says, coming out of the bathroom with her towel wrapped up in a towel and another barely covering up parts of her body.

“I had to. Seeing you right after a shower is my favorite thing in the world and I didn’t want to miss it.”

“You were literally just in the shower with me for like an hour,” she says, furrowing her eyebrows a bit but still smiling.

“Doesn’t matter. I will never get tired of it. My stomach flips every time.”

“You’re unbelievable,” she says and walks over to her dresser.

She pulls out some underwear and a tank top and slowly drops her towel to put them on while facing away from me.

“Ok, this is just entirely unfair,” I say firmly.

“What is?” she asks, pulling the shirt over her head before turning around to face me.

“You, giving me the best shower of my life and then walking around here all naked when I can’t do anything about it.”

She smiles and walks over to crawl in bed with me.

“I’m sorry, I know this has been awful for you. I can’t imagine the pain you must be in. We just have to take good care of you so that you’re feeling better sooner rather than later. Then I promise you can do something about me being all naked around the house.”

I roll over and push her down slowly so she’s laying on her back. I settle between her legs with my head on her chest and wrap my arms behind her shoulders. For some reason, I just need to be close to her. I could have lost her that night. If the Scooby gang wouldn’t have burst through the door when they did, mother would have surely succeeded in taking us both out. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was the knife that nearly killed me slicing into Laura’s throat and I could have easily died right then. I would have been fine with mother killing me, but I couldn’t live in a world without Laura in it.

“You know, I was thinking that we should do something to thank our friends. They’ve done a lot to help us the last few weeks,” Laura says, running her fingers up and down my back.

“That would be the right thing to do. What did you have in mind?” I ask.

“I don’t know, maybe invite them over? Even for just a few hours.”

“Like a housewarming party?” I ask.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that if you don’t”

“Laura.”

“What?”

“Don’t you understand that this is your home now as much as mine? When I asked you to move in it was because I want to share everything with you. You’re not just staying here. This is our home. Together. It’s only right that we have a house warming party because before you got here, this house was cold and empty. I never wanted to be here I think because home is wherever you are. Now that you’re here with me, this house is a home for the first time.”

“Oh, well I guess we better have one kick ass house warming party then,” she says and we both laugh. “Sometimes I can’t believe that we made it through all that. It just feels so surreal.”

“I know, I feel the same way but it’s real. We’re here and we’re safe now. We can live our live together the way we want and not worry about looking over our shoulder anymore,” I say and slide up her body to kiss her gently. I forgot for a minute about my stitches and it hurt like hell but damn is this worth it.

I have to settle back down before the pain gets too bad and she immediately returns to gently rubbing my back. We exchange whispered an ‘I love you’ and fall asleep just like this.

* * *

 

 

**Laura POV**

We spend the next few days watching different things on Netflix and a few DVDs. Carm convinced me to watch a bunch of really weird documentaries like that one about the female serial killer from Florida, Aileen something. I know she killed a bunch of men, but I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I can’t say that serial killer documentaries are my favorite thing in the world, but they were very interesting. I talked her into watching a couple of my favorite movies like _Dirty Dancing_ and _Moulin Rouge_. Carm was convinced that she would hate both movies but she actually kind of liked them. She will never admit it, but she was totally crying at the end of Moulin Rouge when Christian and Satine were singing “Come What May” to each other.

“Carm, are you ok?” I asked her, maybe she was actually in pain.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I looks to me like you’re crying.”

“It’s just- It’s just not fair. I mean, they love each other but nooooooo, she has to be all sick and The Duke of douche bags has to get all jealous. Why the hell would you make me watch this? It’s so sad, Laura.”

I’m trying to fight back a laugh when I answer her.

“It’s a beautiful story and I just love it so much, I’m sorry it made you sad. We can watch whatever you want after this.”

“Good,” she says wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “We’re watching _The Evil Dead_.”

In between our endless tv binging, we took short walks around the neighborhood to continue strengthening her weakened muscles to keep the healing process moving forward. I met a lot of Carm’s neighbors and they were so relieved to see her. Since she was essentially living at my apartment before the attack, they were worried something happened to her. Although something did happen, they were happy to see that she’s ok and that I’m there to take care of her. It honestly seems like a nice neighborhood to live in. A really great place to start a family.

* * *

 

 

It’s around noon and we’re just getting up to prepare for the housewarming party tonight. There is so much to do, but it will all be worth it. If it weren’t for our friends lately, I don’t know what I would have done. Between LaF and Perry bringing me clothes and food, Will bringing me hot chocolate every time he comes to see Carm and everyone else being genuinely supportive with their gifts and visits, I have been overwhelmed by just how many people care about us. It was just me and my dad for so long, it’s kind of weird having this huge group of people that are like a family to me.

Carmilla’s in the shower while I’m making her breakfast, lunch… whatever. I’m pretty sure that waffles are great any time of the day. I’m standing at the counter in my underwear and a sports bra dancing along to the version of “Back To Black” by Amy Winehouse playing in my head when I hear her clear her throat from behind me. I immediately freeze and focus on mixing the batter in front of me.

“Oh, please don’t stop on account of me,” Carm says walking closer to me.

“I didn’t know you were up yet.”

“Clearly,” she says while wrapping her arms around my stomach. “I love watching you dance.”

“I have no idea why. I’m a terrible dancer.”

“I disagree. When you think no one is watching, you move your body in ways that only I’m used to seeing in bed and I would be lying if I said it didn’t have an effect me.”

“Oh,” I whisper.

“What’s wrong?” she asks while turning me so she can see me.

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just embarrassed is all. It’s hard to think of myself as…”

“Sexy?” she asks.

“Yea, I just don’t see it. I’m such a dork, Carmilla.”

We both laugh a bit, but she places her hand on the small of my back and pulls our hips flush together.

“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” I shake my head. “Laura, we don’t even have to be in the same room for you to turn me on. Just thinking about you is enough to make me want you in a way I’ve never felt before. But god, when you look at me I feel like we are two galaxies that have just collided, tearing each other apart, stars being thrown into all corners of the universe only to be brought back together as one because the force between us is that strong. I don’t know how else to explain how you make me feel. You may think you’re this dorky girl, but while I may see a little of that, I also see the most gorgeous, intelligent, sexy, strong, and compassionate woman I have ever known. Out of all the people on this planet you have chosen to be with me and sometimes I still can’t believe it. I love you more than words could describe but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to show you anyway.”

“Wow, you say that words can’t describe how you feel, but you just did a pretty great job trying. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, Carm. I love you so much. You make me feel so safe. After everything you’ve been through in your life, you’re right there to comfort me when I’m afraid and sometimes I feel like it should be the other way around. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I’m never going to let go of you. It’s you and me forever.”

She pulls me into a searing kiss and I suddenly understand that colliding galaxy thing she was talking about. Kissing Carmilla makes me feel so alive and I swear that each kiss is better than the last. Her hands made their way into my hair while she pushed me back into the counter. I’m gently rubbing the skin just above her hips underneath her shirt and a small moan escapes her mouth and flows into mine. I’m so afraid sometimes to touch her because I don’t want to hurt her, but I think she needs it. She’s been too afraid to let anyone else touch her to even hug her, but every time my hands are on her she melts into me. So everywhere I put my hands is gentle and calculated; making sure to elicit comfort and quell any fear she may have at the moment. She runs her tongue along my bottom lip and I open my mouth slightly to allow her in. Her tongue finds mine with practiced ease and we’re finding a good rhythm when we smell the first batch of waffles burning.

“Crap!” I say, spinning around to pull the waffle out of the machine before we burn this beautiful house down.

“Calm down, cupcake. A burnt waffle is nothing to panic over. I’ll finish that if you want to open the windows.”

“Fine, I’m sorry.” I walk away and begin opening the kitchen windows and trying to fan the smoke outside before the alarm goes off.

“Don’t be sorry, I’m the one who distracted you. Otherwise the waffles would be fine,” Carm laughs as she’s pulling the charred dough out of the waffle maker with a fork.

“Yeah! You’re right. Are you going to let me be long enough to finish making breakfast?” I say while walking back over to her.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” she whispers before leaning in for a kiss.

Carmilla does eventually leave me be long enough to make breakfast. I know she doesn’t go back to school until next semester, but I’m supposed to be going back in a few weeks and I don’t know how we’re going to handle spending so much time apart each day. After almost losing each other, it’s been hard to be apart at all; even for just an hour or two. It’s just that every time I close my eyes or walk out the door, I feel like she won’t be there when I come back. Carmilla has told me she feels the same way, but I think she has it even worse. Maybe it would be worth talking to someone about it. We’ll see.

After breakfast, we get dressed and head to the grocery store. We’re expecting eight or nine people to come over tonight and I want to be sure that we don’t run out of anything. I’m pushing the shopping cart while Carmilla follows close behind me in one of those electric scooters. I’m a little concerned she’s going to knock something over or hit me but she’s having fun so I can’t stop her. We pick up plenty of wine and beer and the fixings for typical barbecue food. The Will and Kirsch are coming over a little early to help me cook and I’m glad. I’m going to handle the sides while they tackle the grill. Sounds like a solid plan to me.

We get back to our house and I have just enough time to get the groceries inside and shower before people start arriving. Carm and I get cleaned up and she sits at the kitchen table reading while I’m mixing up ingredients for the salad and cooking the sides. I’m stirring some brown sugar into the beans when I hear a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it!” I say excitedly.

“Oh darn, I was dying to get up and do it,” Carm says.

I squint my eyes at her, but smile as I run to open the door.

“Hey, little nerd! How’s it going?” Kirsch says.

“Things are great. Thanks, Kirsch. How are you, Will?” I ask.

“Great, thanks for inviting us over. Where’s Carmilla?” he asks.

“She’s in the kitchen, please come in.”

Will moves past me to see his sister. He’s still terrified of what might have happened to her that night and I can’t blame him. I feel the same way but I get to be with her all day. It must be really hard for him. Kirsch comes over and wraps me in a bear hug. We’ve maybe hugged one other time so this is kind of new.

He lets go and says “I’m sorry if that was weird for you. It’s just that Will’s been my bro since forever and so has Carmilla. She loves you and I have come to see you as a bro too. I’m just really glad you guys are ok.”

“It’s ok, Kirsch. It’s not weird. You’re my bro too and I’m thankful to have you around. So, are you ready to help me cook up some chicken and burgers?”

“Definitely. I’m always willing to help a bro out. Point me to the grill!” he says and we walk into the kitchen.

Will looks like he was just crying but he and Carmilla are just smiling at each other when Kirsch and I walk in the room. I know they haven’t exactly had the most normal upbringing, but through all of that they became very close and love each other very much.

“Dude, are you ready to help me get cooking?” Kirsch asks Will.

“Yea, sounds good. What are we making, Laura? Will asks.

“Burgers and two different types of chicken. I have a honey-sriracha sauce and a homemade barbecue sauce that you can use. This way everyone should be happy,” I proudly say.

“Holy crap, that all sounds good. We’ll try our best!” Kirsch exclaims.

I help them gather all the ingredients together before Will leads Kirsch out to the grill. Luckily he’s used it before because it’s honestly huge and I would have no idea how to even use it.

* * *

 

 

**Carmilla POV**

The boys are outside cooking and Laura is busying herself preparing baked potatoes when others start arriving. First Perry and LaFontaine come in carrying a generous amount of baked goods for the party. I’m kind of thankful because Perry’s brownies should probably be a mortal sin they’re so good. Laura leads them into the kitchen and hugs them both.

“Thank you both for coming. We could never thank you enough for what you have done for us lately, but we’ll start with dinner,” Laura says.

“Honestly Laura, there is no need to thank us. We care about you both and friends are supposed to take care of each other so that’s what we’ve done. I’m just so relieved that you’re both ok,” Perry says.

“Yea L, no thanks needed. I won’t turn down a good dinner though. Hey, Carmilla. How ya feeling these days?” LaF asks.

“I’m ok I guess. Laura here has been helping me and making sure I eat. I’d be a mess if it weren’t for her,” I say. Laura smiles and puts a loving arm around my waist before leaning over to kiss my cheek.

“You two are gross. I’m going to check out the food situation,” LaF says as they go outside to join the boys at the grill.

“Laura, do you need any help with the food?” Perry asks.

“That would be great, Perry. Thank you,” Laura responds before leading her into the kitchen.

Over the next hour, Danny, Elsie, Sarah Jane, Natalie and Betty all arrive; each bringing a different food or drink to add to what we already have. This is probably going to be a good night. Laura leads everyone that’s interested around the house and back yard to show it off and I can’t help but smile as I watch her practically running from room to room. It’s only when I understand the reason she’s so happy is that she’s showing them our home that we share together, not just a house that she lives in that I get the urge to be near her again.

Even though my pain is pretty strong at the moment, I fight my way across the house to find her showing our friends the library. While they’re all looking around, taking in the titles of all the books I’ve accumulated over the years, her eyes find mine and she’s by my side in a second.

“Are you ok?” she asks.

“I’m fine. I’m in a little pain but I missed you,” I say while wrapping my arms around her waist.

“Ok everyone, feel free to look around outside and check out the pool. We’ll be back in a few minutes,” Laura says, grabbing me hand and leading me upstairs.

“Laura, where are we going? We have a ton of people here,” I protest (but not really).

“You said you were in pain so just give me a few minutes. I want you to enjoy tonight, not be in agony the whole time,” she says.

I squeeze her hand tighter as she helps me up the last few steps. It’s still kind of hard to climb both flights of stairs, but it’s really good for me right now so I try to do it as often as possible. Laura pulls me into the bedroom and sits me down on the bed.

“Stay right here,” she says.

“Where am I going to go?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.

She gives me a quick kiss before retreating into the bathroom only to come back out with some pain medicine, a glass of water and some lotion. I’m not sure of exactly what her plans are but I already like what’s happening here.

“Scoot back on the bed,” she says while setting everything down on the table.

It hurts a lot, but I use my hands to push myself toward the center of the bed. She grabs a pill out of the yellow prescription bottle and the glass of water and crawls over to me, kneeling in front of me.

“Where does it hurt?” she asks.

“Everywhere. Mainly my stomach, shoulders and head. I have a pounding headache but I think it’s because I read too much already today,” I answer honestly.

She frowns and opens her hand to offer the pill. “Carm, take this. I know you don’t really like it but you’re clearly in a lot of pain today. You deserve a break too, babe.”

I smile at her before reaching out to take the pill from her hand and grab the water. As I’m throwing my head back to swallow, I feel her starting to unbutton my shirt and I almost choke on my water.

“What are you doing?” I ask, coughing up the water which makes my stomach hurt even worse.

“Just relax, please.” She takes the glass of water from my hand and sets it down on the table. “I just want you to feel better so you can have a good time. Do you trust me?” she asks.

“Of course I do,” I say.

“Good,” she says before stopping the progress she was making on my shirt to pull hers over her head. She return to undo the last few buttons of mine before she slowly pulls the shirt down my arms. Her touch is so gentle that she almost feels like a ghost of what’s really here. I know she’s afraid to hurt me and it breaks my heart that she was so afraid and still is afraid of something happening to me. I never expected for anyone to fall in love with me, but especially Laura.

She takes the lotion from the night stand and climbs behind me, slowly rubbing the lotion into my back and shoulders. Each caress and squeeze from her hands is overwhelming. I know that she’s afraid of losing me but I feel the same way. Seeing the things that mother did to her, knowing that she hurt her while I was unconscious and couldn’t protect her, and hearing her scream my name when she thought I was dying was more than I could handle. I don’t know that I will ever be over that to be honest. But here she is, holding me and trying to take all my pain away. Most people would have run from me long ago, but for some reason Laura fights for me. I don’t think I could ever live without her and I don’t plan to.

“Damn, that feels so good,” I breathe.

“Yea? I was hoping it would. I can do this any time you want me to,” she says while pressing her front against my back and wrapping her arms around me. She kisses my neck and I swear I’m going to melt into this bed.

“How does all the time sound to you?” I ask.

“Perfect,” she says, pulling back to continue massaging my shoulders.

After a few more minutes, Laura is helping me put my shirt back on and I actually do feel a lot better. I don’t know if it was her, the medicine or both but I feel like I can maybe enjoy myself tonight.

“Feeling better?” she asks.

“Much better, thank you.”

She kisses me sweetly before putting her shirt back on, checking her hair in the mirror and leading me back downstairs. We head outside to join everyone and find that they have set the table and dinner is ready. How long were we up there? Whoops.

“There they are! We were just going to come look for you guys,” LaF says.

“Sorry, we just had to take care of something,” Laura says while pulling out a chair for me to sit in. She kisses me on the head before sitting in the chair next to mine.

“Anyway, I believe that dinner is ready so let’s eat!” Perry says.

* * *

 

 

**Laura POV**

Everyone starts shoveling alarming quantities of food onto their plates. I fix Carm a plate and then one for myself before I sit down. I’m honestly really proud of the boys because the burgers and chicken turned out much better than I could have hoped for. I’m glad I asked them to cook it because I probably would have ruined it. My salad was a pretty big hit and everyone is eating way more than we probably should have.

Dinner is winding down when LaF runs out to their car and comes back with a big cardboard box in their hands.

“What’s in the box?” Carmilla asks.

“Well, as I’m sure you both know, you’re all everyone at school is talking about.” Carm and I look at each other before LaF continues. “Most everyone is shocked that the principal did what she did, but they’ve also been so worried about the two of you. You can ask Danny and the others, both students and faculty alike are constantly coming up to us and asking about you.”

“Oh my god, that’s so sweet,” I say. Carmilla grabs my hand and pulls it into her lap. I already feel like I’m going to cry and I haven’t seen what’s in the box yet.

“One of Laura’s students, I think her name is Abigail, organized this whole things where everyone brought in things they wanted you two to have and it’s all in this box. Inside are letters, pictures, drawings, stories, books and so many other gifts. Just know that everyone at Silas is behind you and we all miss you,” LaF says while setting the box down in front of us.

I let go of Carm’s hand and start pulling things out of the box. LaF was right when they said that there were so many different things in here. There’s everything from a bowl that one of the girls in my British Lit class made for me in her ceramics class with my favorite Wordsworth quote “Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart” painted around the rim, to a couple of stuffed whales in homage to the Moby Dick joke I made on my first day. I manage to hold myself together as I watch Carmilla pull out gifts her students had left her. There are framed pictures of her with former students and tons of drawings and paintings her students made for her. She tells me all the time that she’s “just the history teacher” but I can see in this moment as she’s looking at every single gift in this box, that she finally feels like she is more than that. She has made an impact in these students’ lives.

When I get to the bottom of the box, I see a letter addressed to me. I open it to find a hand written letter from Paige.

 

_Ms. Hollis,_

_I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you and Ms. Karnstein. I could tell by the way you looked at her that day in your classroom that you love her and I can’t imagine the pain you both have gone through. I’m so relieved that you’re both ok. You’re honestly the best teacher I’ve ever had (please don’t tell Ms. Karnstein) and I cried when I thought about the fact that things could have gone differently than they did. The only time I feel safe and free to be myself is when I’m in your classroom or writing to you in my journal. You don’t judge me. You accept me for who I am and you actually see me as more than a useless teenager. You make me feel like I can achieve my goals and for the first time in my life I actually want to try._

_I miss you every day and I can’t wait for you to come back but I understand that you and Ms. Karnstein need time to heal. Please continue to take care of each other and I hope to see you soon._

_Sincerely,_

_Paige_

By the time I read the salutation, I realize that everyone is looking at me while I’m seconds away from sobbing. It’s just overwhelming to realize how loved you are when you have felt alone for so long. I know my dad was there for me in his own way, but after my mom died I kind of retreated inside my head and it hasn’t been that long since I started to let people in. Now I have all these wonderful people sitting here with me, students like Paige and Abigail that truly care for me and Carmilla who I love more than I thought possible.

“I’m sorry everyone,” I cry more. “It’s just a bit much to feel all this at once. I’m just so thankful for all of you and for Carmilla. The last few weeks would have been so much more difficult without you all. That’s why we wanted to have you over; to say thank you.”

Carmilla pulls her chair closer to me and wraps her arm around me while squeezing my arm with her other hand. She kisses my cheek before looking back to the group.

Will stands up. “I for one am just glad that we can all be here together. What my mother did almost made that impossible and I’m just grateful that things worked out the way that they did. Carmilla, I’m sorry that you got hurt so badly and you too Laura. I think I speak for all of us when I say that I wish I could take the pain away. Just know that we’re all here for you in the meantime. Love you both,” he says.

“Love you too,” Carm says before raising up her glass. “To great friends and a future with those we love,” she says while looking over at me.

“To love,” I respond before we all tap our glasses together in celebration of what we have; each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, friends. I'm always a slut for domestic Hollstein and I'm glad to be taking it into that direction. Please let me know what you think either in the comments or on my tumblr (same username or whatever). Is this story something that you would like to see weekly updates from? I would be glad to do it as long as people want that.
> 
> Thanks, yo!


	16. Like I Owe You a Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everyone leaves the party, Carmilla and Laura finally have some time alone after a long day. The next day they visit Silas and are greeting with an amazing surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, sorry again for taking so long to update. I'm still getting used to my new work schedule and I've actually been really sick lately. Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. I was listening to super gross R&B while writing the first half of this (hence the title) so that should tell you the direction we're going. Enjoy :)

**Laura**

The party is winding down and everyone insisted on staying to clean up so Carm and I wouldn’t have to. I’m actually relieved because I don’t remember a time in my life when I was ever this tired; even when I was working thirty hours a week at the bakery while taking twenty-two credit hours. Even when I’m able to fall asleep, it’s not for very long because I’m either woken up by another nightmare about the cabin or by Carmilla squirming in her sleep from her own nightmares. I haven’t been able to sleep more than two hours at a time for about a month now and it’s really starting to take a toll on me. I have these horrible migraines, I’m nauseous all the time, I’m extremely fatigued and I even get a bit delirious toward the end of the day when I can’t take it anymore. I know that I should really be taking better care of myself, but my thoughts and actions are so preoccupied with taking care of Carm that I don’t have time to think about myself. She needs me and I can’t let her down again.

Everyone else cleaned up outside while LaF and Perry took care of the kitchen, then they all left after making sure that Carm and I didn’t need anything else. I’ve always known that my friends were the people in my life that I could count on, but I had no idea just how much they all cared. Even Carmilla’s friends from Silas have really been great and I just feel so lucky to have them. Of course things were really scary for a while, but look at how everything has turned out. Lilita is gone and she can no longer hurt anyone, Carm and I still have our jobs, we’re living together in this beautiful home and the future looks brighter than it ever has before.

Once I lock the door behind LaF and Perry, I turn and lean my back into the mahogany doors behind me and sigh in relief. As much as I loved seeing everyone, having to entertain them while worrying about everything else was just exhausting. Taking a deep breathe I propel myself off the door in search for Carmilla who I’m sure is even more tired than I am. I make my way from the foyer, through the living room, then the kitchen and the library and she’s nowhere to be found. I turn out the downstairs lights and make my way up to our bedroom hoping that she’s there. The hallway lights are out but I can see a soft light spilling out from the cracked door of our bedroom. I instinctively ball up my fists and hold my breath because even after all this time together, she still makes me a bit nervous. I can’t really explain it. Since the attack the feeling seems to have gotten even stronger. I just love her so deeply and even the thought of her not being with me feels like someone cut a hole in me.

I finally let out a breath as I approach the door and slowly push it open to find her sitting on the bed waiting for me.

“Hey, cupcake.”

“Hey.”

“What took you so long?” she asks.

“I had to practically kick Perry out of here. She’s sweet wanting to take care of us but they had to go. Then I was looking for you but you’re up here,” I say before walking over and joining her on the bed. She reaches for my hand, pulling it into her lap and holding it with both of hers.

“Yes I am, and I thought you would never find me,” she says.

“I’ll always find you.”

The side of her lips curl up in the most honest smile I’ve ever seen. It’s like I’m looking into a mirror because what she’s showing me is exactly how I feel about her. I move my free hand up to her hair, pulling her in for a kiss and we almost miss each other because we’re too busy smiling. Every time she kisses me I feel like my chest on fire; my heart is racing, I can’t breathe and every part of me aches for more of her.

Just like every kiss we share, things start progressing very quickly. My hand travels deeper into her hair, pulling it softly while hers make their way under my shirt and scratching red lines down my back just hard enough to give me goosebumps. Her tongue is doing things to mine that would probably qualify as a sin but there’s no way in heaven or hell I would ever want her to stop. Everything is overwhelming because it has been so long since we slept together and to say I miss her would be an understatement. Just a few more minutes of this alone will have me shuttering in her arms but we can’t. She’s still not recovered all the way and I have to stop this or I could hurt her even more.

I pull back and say “Carm, wait.”

“What?” she breathes, her chest heaving and lips bruised.

“You know that we can’t, not yet.”

“Why not? I feel fine right now and I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Because, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Cupcake, I’m not as fragile as you think I am. Besides, the doctor never said anything about you not getting any now did she?” Carm says with a raised eyebrow.

“But… but, that’s not fair,” I stutter.

“Who the hell cares about fair?” she asks before pulling me back into a searing kiss.

My hands find their way back to her hair but before I can pull her close to me she’s trying to stand up. I open my eyes to find her trying to hide her discomfort. I can tell that she just needs to feel normal right now so I don’t jump up to help her like I normally would. She’s tired of feeling like a victim and tonight I want her to know that she doesn’t have to. She needs to take care of me for a change and I’m going to let her. She reaches over and grabs the hem of my shirt and I raise my arms to make it easier for her to pull it over my head. She looks down at me as if I’m everything to her and I’m starting to believe that I am.

She pushes me down by my shoulders and slowly crawls on top of me. She can’t really hold herself over me so she lays her body against mine, not that I mind. I’m lying on my back looking up at her when everything hits me at once. I can’t believe that she’s safe after what happened and I start to cry. Tears start to fall down the side of my face when she brings her hands up to wipe them away and sooth the flushed skin on my cheeks.

“Shhh, it’s ok. I’m right here,” she says.

“I know, it’s just that so much has happened,” I sob.

“Laura, I know everything is painful right now but I’m right here and I’m never going to leave you. We can get through this and then we have the rest of our lives together to forget all about it.”

She leans down and kisses my tears away, drop by drop. I reach up to slide my hands around the back of her neck and pull her lips back to mine. I feel her relax even more into me and her weight on top of me makes me feel safe for the first time in forever. Her hands are cupping my cheeks and she’s kissing me with every bit of strength she has left. I’m running my fingers up and down her back underneath her shirt, just waiting for the right moment to take it off. As scared as I am to hurt her, I can’t take not having her for another minute.

She pulls away from me and before I can whine in protest she’s reaching to take her shirt off so I help her to make it easier. She rolls onto her side and I follow, connecting our lips again with fervor. She reaches behind me and unclasps my bra with practiced ease and her mouth is on me before I can even react. She pushes me onto my back again, all while circling my left nipple slowly with her tongue. My legs start to cramp up and I’m feeling it in every part of my body but she just goes even slower, torturing me in the best way. She lets go and looks down at me with a devilish smile.

“I love seeing you this way,” she says, her voice raspy.

“Like what?” I whisper.

“Underneath me, chest heaving, cheeks red, lips bruised from kissing me, eyes dark from wanting me and just…”

“In love?” I say.

“Yea, in love”

She lays back down on her side and I roll over to kiss her again. She’s smiling so hard she can barely keep her lips still long enough to kiss me back but I don’t care. I love her so much and the fact that she’s this happy with me makes me love her even more. Her hand slides up my stomach and onto my hip, circles the bone there three times before traveling down my leg to my knee, moving down in between my legs and up my thigh stopping just short of where I need it most. I think we’re past the point of feeling embarrassed so I raise my knee up, opening my legs as an invitation and a way of telling her it’s ok. She knows I’m still apprehensive because I’m terrified of hurting her but my body is telling me to put those fears aside for now.

She sighs while burying her face into my neck while cupping me over my jeans. I can’t help but buck my hips into the brief pressure she’s giving me and I feel her smile against my shoulder while pressing a kiss there. She starts rubbing me softly through my clothes and I could come just like this but knowing Carmilla, she’s going to take her time. While I’m usually all for that, right now I just need her to touch me.

“Carm, please…”

I feel her chuckle against my chest and she looks up at me, never halting her incessant rubbing of my jeans. My hips are rolling against her hand and I can’t stop my eyes from rolling back into my head.

“What do you need, beautiful?” she asks before returning to kiss down my neck.

“I need you… I need more,” I moan.

She stops the movement of her hand and pulls it away. My hips chase after her but she pushes them back down. I want to cry out but then she’s unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them down. The cool air on my legs is startling but then she’s rubbing them up and down and I suddenly don’t feel so cold anymore.

“Close your eyes,” she says.

“What?” I ask.

“Trust me. Close your eyes,” she says with a firm voice.

I comply, closing my eyes and letting my hands drop to my side. I feel her weight roll off of me and I think off the bed entirely. A moment later I feel her getting back onto the bed. As much as I’m enjoying this I hope she’s not going to be too sore in the mor-“

“Oh- OH!” I yell.

I open my eyes, looking down to find her laying on her stomach, in between my legs and smiling at me like she’s won a game I didn’t know we were playing. She moves her head back down and drags a flat tongue from my entrance to my clit through my underwear. It’s just enough pressure to drive me crazy but not enough to drive me closer to release. My hips jerk and if I could control it I would because it’s just inflating her ego even further. With each broad pass of her tongue, I’m squirming harder and moaning louder.

“Carmilla please. Enough.”

“What do you want sweetheart?”

“Please just fuck me. I need you. I miss you so much,” I almost scream.

She pulls my underwear down my legs as fast as she can and her mouth is on me, repeating the same motions but this time with no barrier. She moves her tongue up to trace circles onto my clit and I’m grinding into her softly with my hands in her hair urging her to keep going.

“Carm… I’m so- I’m close. Don’t stop.”

Suddenly I feel two fingers plunge into me and that’s all it took for me to come crashing down in a silent scream. I feel it in every part of me. My eyes slam shut, my hands grip the bedsheets beside me, my legs go completely tense and my toes curl to the point where my feet start cramping. I haven’t had a release in so long that it’s completely overwhelming and exhausting in the every way. When I can finally open my eyes again, I find Carmilla hovering over me and smiling this beautiful, genuine smile. I pull her by her shoulders down into me for a kiss and she gladly follows.

“I love you, Laura,” she says in between kisses.

“I love you too, Carmilla. More than I ever thought possible.”

She’s wiping more tears away from my eyes when I roll her over onto her back. I’m sliding my hand down her stomach when she stops kissing me.

“Wait, I thought you didn’t want to with me?” she asks, looking hurt.

“Of course I want to, did you think I didn’t?” I say.

“Well, kind of. Every time we would get close you would stop and come up with a reason why we couldn’t.”

“Carm, please.” I pull her closer to me and kiss her softly. “There’s never been a time that I didn’t want to be with you.”

“Then why do you always want to stop?” she asks and she looks like she’s going to cry.

“Baby, please don’t cry. I want you, believe me. I’m just so afraid to hurt you… again.”

“What do you mean again?” she asks.

“I didn’t protect you like I was supposed to, Carmilla. If I would have, then you wouldn’t have anything to recover from. I let you down,” I cry out and look away from her.

“No, don’t you dare think that this is your fault, Laura. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine for waiting so long to do anything. I put you in that position and I can’t believe that I was so stupid as to not see how you’ve been feeling. I’m sorry, Laura. None of this is your fault.”

“How can you say that? I had the chance to take her down but she got me and you almost died!” I yell.

“Exactly. Almost. You wouldn’t have been in that position if I would have done something sooner. Besides, don’t you know that you’re the one that saved me?”

“What are you talking about?” I say, between hiccupping cries.

She wipes her eyes and continues, “Yeah, the doctors may have done all the physical work but I know for a fact that I would be dead if it weren’t for you. During what I’m guessing was my first surgery or whatever, I found myself in this weird place that wasn’t quite life or death. It was like this place of vast emptiness and I was watching myself through this open door. There was another door that I had a feeling what it was, but I just wasn’t ready to let go yet. I watched the doctors scramble to save my body and they did. Dr. Lockhart really is amazing but it still wasn’t enough to come back. I had to make that choice for myself. I sat there in this place that seemed to have no end except for these two doors and watched everyone coming in to see me. There were my friends from school that I never expected would care about me as much as they do. Each of them brought a smile to my face, but it wasn’t enough to come back and fight through the inevitable pain. There were even your friends who came to see me and told me to not tell you,” I giggled at that and Carm just laughed with me before continuing. “Then Kirsch and Will came in separately and while I love them both, it still just wasn’t enough. I didn’t even have a guarantee of what would happen when I came back through that door and I wanted to make sure that I had a life worth living for before I made that jump. But then I saw you. You must have just gotten released by your doctors when you came rushing into my room. I watched through that open door as you fell apart on the floor next to my bed. You wanted to hug me but you were so scared to. I really did look awful; one failed heartbeat away from certain death. I couldn’t take seeing you like that so I tried to run toward the door, but I couldn’t reach it and I saw myself flat line. I think the pain I felt seeing you hurt like that killed me, Laura and that’s when I had to go back in for another surgery. You are the only thing in my life that is worth fighting for and I will never give up, even if it kills me. I could have made the choice to walk through that other door. I could have given up and faded away so I didn’t have to feel any more pain, but I couldn’t leave you. We have so much life left to live together.”

“Carmilla, I love you so much. Of course I want you; I’ve always wanted you and I will always want you. I know it was hard for you, but I’m glad you came back to me. I can’t live without you,” I say before kissing her again.

“So you don’t think my wounds are ugly?” she asks after pulling back.

“What? No! Is that what you’ve been thinking?” I ask her with a shocked smile.

“Yeah, kind of. I told you I hate the way they make me look and I wouldn’t blame you if you’re repulsed by me right now.”

“Carm, that’s impossible. Yeah, of course you have an amazing body but that’s not the reason I fell in love with you. I love you for who you are, you rock hard body is just an added plus,” I say with a sly grin.

“Really? Rock hard, huh?”

“Definitely. Your muscles kind of do things to a girl,” I say, blushing and looking down.

“I could say the same thing about you, but please go on,” she raises an eyebrow and gives me that look.

I push her over so she’s lying on her back, throw my leg over hers and gently straddle her hips. I slide my hands up her stomach so gently I’m barely making any contact and I feel her tremble beneath me.

“First of all, your stomach and those ab muscles are the stuff of wet dreams.” She bucks her hips up into me, but winces in pain. “Oh no, sweetheart. I’m doing all the work this time. You just relax, ok?”

“Well, please hurry it up. I can’t take it anymore. You’re so hot like this. Fuck,” she breathes.

I giggle before sliding down her legs and unbuttoning her jeans and sliding them down her legs just quick enough to not cause her any pain. I hear her make a noise that almost sounds like a whine and I know I can’t tease her any more.

I slide the thin strip of black lace masquerading as underwear down her legs while saying “and these legs are what girls dream of getting between but I know that only I can. Isn’t that right? I ask.

“Yes. Fuck me. Only you.”

“Hmm, that’s what I thought,” I say smugly.

While I don’t normally talk like this in bed, she needs to know how much I love and want her. I crawl back up the length of her body and fall down next to her. My knee finds its way between her legs and she pushes herself against me before I can push into her. As I’m reaching up to kiss her, she moans into my mouth and I’m feeling the warmth building in my core once again. I don’t know if she’s be able to go for another round but I hope so.

She’s starting to roll slow circles with her hips onto my thigh and while I’m loving the hot, wet feeling of her against me I can’t let her over-do it. I slide my hand from her hair, down her side, onto her stomach and stopping just below her belly button. She stops the movement of her hips in anticipation of what I’m about to give her and I want to remember this moment forever. The way she’s looking at me is nothing but love and desire. I will never get enough.

Before she can continue to move her hips I move my hand down and give her exactly what she wants. Her thighs press together in a desperate attempt to hold onto me forever and I let her. She cries out a strangled moan and I know exactly what she’s feeling because I just went through it. Even though we have been together virtually every moment since she woke up, we missed each other so terribly that being reunited like this is almost painful in itself. I’m rubbing two fingers up and down from her entrance to her clit slowly but with a lot of pressure. She’s pushing into me with her hips and biting down on the skin between my neck and shoulder. I start to narrow in on the narrow bundle of nerves and I’m drawing tighter, and faster circles. She’s gently rocking her hips into my hand and while I’m afraid she might aggravate her wounds, I know there’s no way I can get her to stop at this point.

“Laur, please don’t stop.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

She’s rocking her hips a bit harder so I speed up the movements of my hand and add another finger to apply more pressure.

“I’m gonna… oh my god. Laura!”       

“I know. I’m right here. Let go.”

With one last flick of my fingers her body tenses up and I wrap myself around her to make it easier for her contracting muscles while I massage her core gently with my thigh to bring her down from her orgasm. I’m holding her closely, rolling my hips into her and I feel her start to relax beneath me. When I hear her take a deep breath, I lean down to kiss her and she wraps her arms around my back to pull me closer.

“Oh my god, why didn’t we do that any sooner?” she asks.

“Because we couldn’t. Are you ok? I ask, falling onto my side and looking into her eyes.

“You’re seriously asking me if I’m ok? After that? I have never felt this good in my entire life, Laura. Good god, when did you get so good at that?”

I giggle before saying “I guess I just really missed you.”

“I guess so,” she says before pulling me into her chest and I wrap my arms around her back to hold her as close as I can.

“Really though, are you ok? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“Baby, please. I’m fine. You’re not going to hurt me by doing that. Ever.”

“I love you, Carm.”

“I love you too, cupcake.”

 

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

 Every time I open my eyes, I’m afraid I’m going to be back in that dark closet, tied up and just moments away from mother coming in and dragging me away from my Laura, but this morning is not the case. I woke up to intrusive sunlight pouring through my windows and onto my eyes. Before the attack that would have just pissed me off, but now it’s more of a comfort than anything else. I look over to see Laura, still naked and wrapped around me with her legs tangled up in mine. She looks more beautiful right now then I can ever remember. For the longest time, she had this perpetual look of worry on her face but right now, she just looks happy. I promise that I will never be the person that takes that away from her.

My abdomen is hurting quite a bit so I shift to take some of the pressure off. As soon as I move, I see her frown and her eyebrows scrunch together. I know that she has nightmares about what happened and I don’t want her to go through that right now. I lean over and kiss her in between her eyes. She still looks upset so I kiss her there again, then on the nose, on each cheek and only then falling on her lips gently. Her eyes flutter open and her face goes from a look of fear and worry to one of love and adoration.

“Good morning,” I say.

“Morning, Carm. Why did you wake me up?” she asks before yawning and god is she cute when she yawns.

“Besides missing you, I could tell you were having a bad dream and I wanted you to come back to me. What was your dream about?”

“You don’t want to hear it,” she says before looking away.

“Of course I do,” I say, trying to reassure her. “You obviously need to talk about it if it’s bothering you.”

“Well, it’s just that I have this dream every night. It’s always the same thing, replaying over and over and no matter how hard I try I can’t change things. You and I are sleeping in bed when I feel you go limp in my arms. I wake up, terrified because that’s what happened the night in the cabin and then Lilita’s in our room and she kicks me in the ribs again, drugs me and then I wake up screaming.”

She’s crying and I can’t believe she’s been having this nightmare every night and I had no idea. How could I be so oblivious to her pain?

“Laura, I’m so sorry. You know that she’s gone. She can’t hurt you anymore.”

“That’s just it, Carm. I never cared about her hurting me. What I can’t live with is the fact that I failed. She beat me and ended up hurting you. You almost died and it’s my fault.”

“Jesus Laura, it’s not your fault. None of this was ever your fault. My mother was after me even before you and I met. If anything, all of this is my fault. I put you in harm’s way and we both could have been killed because of it. Please, Laura. It’s not your fault. I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.”

We stayed there for a while, just holding each other when she leaned back and said “do you think we should talk to someone? Maybe get some help figuring this all out.”

“I don’t know, Laura. I’ve never been good at talking about feelings. Especially with a stranger,” I answer honestly.

“Think about it?” she asks.

“Yea, I’ll think about it.”

* * *

 

We take a shower and get dressed for a walk around the neighborhood. I used to hate all forms of physical activity, but lately I’m actually enjoying it. I really like the feeling of reaching a new goal and not feeling so helpless, but I love walking hand in hand with Laura while she’s encouraging me along the way even more. Every time I make it to the end of the street and turn around to go back, she beams at me like I’ve done something miraculous and for a second I feel like I actually did.

“Ready to go?” she says while skipping down the stairs to find me on the couch, trying to tie my shoes.

“Yes, well I will be when I get these damn shoes tied!” I say in frustration.

“Let me help you,” she says while sitting on the table in front of me, pulling my feet up and into her lap.

“I feel so helpless,” I confess.

“You’re not helpless, Carmilla. You’ve gone through a major trauma and after what we did last night, even someone not in recovery would be a little sore,” she says with a cute smile.

I can’t fight the grin that pulls at the corner of my lips as I watch her double-knot my laces. She gently places my feet on the ground on either side of her and leans in to kiss me swiftly.

“Ready?” she asks.

“Ready,” I say because I’ll honestly go anywhere with her; even if it’s only to the end of the street and back.

Today we only made it through two laps before I got too tired and returned home for breakfast. Laura made my favorite strawberry and peach waffles and fed them to me while I sat on her lap at the kitchen table. I’ve never really been comfortable with someone taking care of me like this, but with Laura it’s different. I am so terrified of the day she has to return to school because I never want this to end.

We lounge around the house for a while when we have to get ready to leave. Today is the day we’re supposed to go up to the school. A lot of the students and faculty have been asking to see us and we decided to go up there toward the end of school today just to say hi and let them know that we’re ok.

“Come on, babe. We have to leave in twenty minutes,” Laura says.

“I know, I’m just so comfortable. Can’t we go tomorrow?” I ask.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday, Carmilla.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Come on, everyone is waiting to see you. We’ll say hi to everyone and come back home. Then you can have me all to yourself again,” she says, sitting up from the couch we’re lying on.

“Fine, but can we get smoothies on the way home?” I ask.

She smiles and leans back down to kiss me. “Yes, we can get smoothies. Now, come on!”

She helps me get dressed and dresses herself before rushing me out the door. I know she’s excited to see everyone but I’m a little nervous. I’m still getting used to the feeling that people actually care for me. With mother it was always conditional; I had to buy her fake affection with a part of me I wasn’t ready to lose. But with Laura, my friends and students it’s like they actually love me for who I am and don’t need anything in return but the love I’m already willing to give. I’m not used to being loved freely. I’m used to feeling like love has to be bought and sold.

Laura can sense my anxiety and is trying to comfort me with gentle touches to my hands and knee while she drives us to school. I envy her strength sometimes but I know that she is hurting too. Maybe talking to someone won’t be so bad if she’s with me.

We pull into the school parking lot and I feel like I can’t breathe. Laura parks the car, unbuckles our seatbelts and pulls me in for a tight hug.

She starts whispering into my ear. “It’s going to be ok, Carm. I’m right here with you. I know you’re nervous but I’m not going anywhere. Everyone is here to see you because they care for you, Carm. They were worried for you and just want to see that you’re ok. I know that this is hard for you, but I won’t let go of your hand unless you want me to.”

I pull back just enough to kiss her gently and she reaches up to brush away a single tear with her thumb.

“Maybe we should talk to someone, Laur. You know, together if that’s ok,” I say after we pull apart.

“Of course, I’ll look into it tomorrow, ok?”

“Sounds good,” I say and shrug my shoulders.

“Now, let’s go see our friends and students, huh?” she says while grabbing my hand and giving me that gorgeous smile.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

 

**Laura**

We walk through the double glass doors leading into the front office and although I don’t know what everyone knows about our relationship, we don’t dare let go of each other’s hands.

“Oh my, Carmilla! Laura!” Ms. Spielsdorf shouts and runs around the desk to greet us.

“Hey, Betty. How are you?” Carm asks.

“Oh, I’m fine. How are you feeling? And you too, Laura? How are you both holding up?” she asks.

“Laura here has been taking great care of me so I’m fine. Things were pretty rough there for a while but I’ll be back to normal soon enough,” Carm says while squeezing my hand even tighter.

“I’m so glad you two have each other. I wish I could find a love that strong. You two have been the stuff of legends around here. The faculty is wrapped up in the love story between you two and the student have come up with this story of two heroines fighting to save each other. Somehow part of me thinks parts of both stories are true,” Betty says shyly.

“I guess you could say that,” I say, wrapping my arm around Carmilla’s waist and pulling her closer.

“I knew it,” Betty says before turning around. “Everyone, look who’s here!” she shouts and people starting coming out of their offices.

We’re greeted by the entire administration, all the secretaries and the guidance staff in a matter of minutes and my cheeks already hurt from smiling but I know there’s going to be a lot more ahead. I look over to Carmilla to find her looking a bit tired. I grab her hand and squeeze it gently. She looks over to me and smiles and I think she’ll be ok as long as I find her a place to rest.

“Hey Betty, is there a place that Carm could sit down? She’s a bit tired today,” I say just loud enough for her to hear.

“Oh, of course. Come with me,” she says while waving everyone else off. Carmilla and I follow her outside the back door of the office to a waiting golf cart.

“Uh, where are we going?” Carm asks.

“Just over to the Cafeteria. It won’t take long,” Betty answers. “Come on!”

We look at each other and shrug, not knowing what we’re walking into. We climb into the seats on the backside of the golf cart and hold on as Betty drives us slowly over to the other side of campus. Everything is really quiet but it’s only 4th period and the students haven’t been let out for lunch yet so that’s not really a surprise. We drive past the main doors and around to the side and I know something’s up.

“Betty, where are we going?” I ask.

“We’re going in through the kitchen. The school board guys are doing some repairs by the front doors and this is just easier,” she says without missing a beat.

“Ok whatever, can we just go? I’m tired,” Carmilla pouts.

I hop off the golf cart and help her down. Betty opens the door for us and we walk inside the back door of the kitchen to find no one preparing any food like they usually are this time of day. In about thirty minutes the first round of 700 students will come crashing through the door demanding chicken sandwiches and mozzarella sticks but there’s no one in here. Carm and I make our way through the kitchen and toward the door that leads into the cafeteria when I see them. I see them all.

“Come on, Carm. They’re waiting for us,” I whisper into her ear before opening the door.

* * *

 

We step through the threshold of that door to find the entire school packed inside that Cafeteria. As soon as they saw us, everyone shot up to their feet and gave us the loudest standing ovation imaginable. Faculty and students alike were clapping, shouting, whistling and yelling that they loved us. I look over to Carm through tear-filled eyes to find that she’s crying too. The feeling of over 2,000 people loving and supporting us this way is more than either of us were ready for. I mean, I expected to visit our classrooms and maybe give a few hugs but this is too much. The entire school is here to with us well and I can’t believe it.

After the applause dies down, we make out way over to the two chairs that were waiting for us. We sit down and wipe our tears as Danny steps up to the microphone to speak.

“Hey guys, we’re glad you could be here with us today. Carmilla, you’ve been my friend for a while now and Laura I think I could call you my friend now too.” I nod my head at her and she smiles and continues. “What happened to you both is unimaginable, but you two made it. We’re so proud of you. The strength it must have taken to get through that and come out of it ok is truly inspiring. We know that you still have a long way to go, but we as a Silas family want you to know that we’re here for you. Everyone pitched in, and I mean everyone pitched in for this gift. There are people that don’t even attend or work at this school that helped out with this. We’ve had a nice lunch catered in for today so that we can eat together as a family and there was plenty of money left over to pay for a nice vacation for the two of you before you have to return to work.”

“Oh my gosh, you don’t have to” I try to say before I’m cut off. Paige runs up and begins speaking before Danny even has the chance to.

“Hey, Ms. Hollis. Hey, Ms. Karnstein. I know that we didn’t have to, but we wanted to. What the two of you went through is more than anyone should have to bear, especially someone as lovely as the two of you. I think I can speak for the rest of the school when I say that we’re so glad that you’re ok and are coming back to us. Silas is just not the same without you here. We want you to enjoy the time you have off some you can come back to us well rested and feeling better. We miss you,” Paige blurts out.

“Oh, Paige that’s so sweet,” I say as I reach out my arms for a hug. She rushes into me and I hold her tight while she cries.

“Let’s hear it for Ms. Hollis and Ms. Karnstein!” Denny yells into the microphone and suddenly everyone is on their feet cheering again.

We eat our lunch surrounded by our school family, greeting everyone who wanted to come say hello. I hugged so many people I lost count but it’s honestly ok. I had no idea how much these people really cared for us. Today was one of the best days I can remember having and I get to share it with Carmilla which makes it even better.

We’re sitting at a table with Danny, Elsie, LaF and Sarah Jane while Danny explains the details of the vacation they have planned for us. The student government is busy running around and cleaning up the mess everyone made while the administration ushers all the students back to their respective classes.

“Well, we wanted to send you somewhere that you would both enjoy. Nothing cold because we figured that would probably aggravate your injuries. We didn’t want to send you somewhere that would require a passport because that’s just too much of a hassle so we decided on an island with great beaches and even better food. Puerto Rico!” Danny exclaims.

“Holy crap, that sounds awesome!” I say and look over at Carm who actually looks excited too.

“You’re both going to love it,” Sarah Jane says. “I stayed there for a few months in my late teens and I’ve never seen a place more beautiful. It’s just what you need to relax.”

“I can’t thank you all enough. This means so much,” I say.

“Don’t worry about it, L. Like Danny said, it’s all paid for and there are a lot of people in this community that are rooting for you two. This is just a small way of showing that,” LaF said.

“Yea, thanks you guys. This is pretty great,” Carm says.

“Don’t mention it, Carmilla. Anyway, your flight leaves on Thursday so you have less than a week to get ready. If you need any help getting the house ready or need someone to watch over it while you’re gone, all of us are willing to help. So are Kirsch and Will by the way,” Danny says.

“They know about this too?” Carmilla asks.

“Of course they do. They helped us plan it,” Danny laughs.

After exchanging a few more hugs and taking the travel info from Danny, I’m walking Carmilla back to the car. Although today was amazing, I know she’s exhausted and in a lot of pain so I just want to get her home. We get to the car and I open the passenger side for her first, helping her in before I close the door behind her. I run around to my side and climb in just in time to help her pull the seatbelt across her chest. She’s really having a hard time.

“Are you ok?” I ask, grabbing her hand gently.

“I’m fine, I think I was just hugged a few too many times. Take me home?”

“Of course, but no smoothies?” I ask.

“Ok, smoothies and then home,” she says and I smile before kissing her quickly and pulling out of the parking lot.

We arrive home around thirty minutes later. I walk her to the door with one hand and the other is holding onto the box containing our smoothies. I let go of her hand long enough to get the door open and she all but tumbles onto the couch when she finally reaches it. I set down the box on the coffee table and walk back to the door to make sure it’s locked and hang up the keys. I kick my shoes off as I’m walking back over to Carm. I sit down on the end of the couch and pull her legs onto my lap. I make slow work of untying her shoelaces and pulling her shoes and socks off. I’ve got her right foot in my hands, rubbing the pain away when she speaks up.

“Thank you for today,” she says.

“What do you mean? I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes you did. You knew that I should have gone even when I just wanted to stay home with you. When I was scared to go in, you made me feel safe and I’m so glad that you did because today was amazing. All those people, Laura. They really care about us. You didn’t leave me and I’m just thankful is all.”

“Well, you’re welcome. I’m always going to be here for you so you don’t have to thank me. I want to prove to you that you deserve every bit of love I can give to you. I love you, Carmilla and from the looks of it I’m not the only one,” I say and smile down at her.

“Come here,” she says and pulls at my shirt.

I settle gently between her legs so that I don’t hurt her but fall into her inevitable kiss. I will never get tired of hearing her tell me that she loves me, but it’s kisses like this that prove it even further. We may have been through a lot lately, but for now we can block it all out and just be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! The Hollstein vacation is going to be bomb af so please come back to read the next chapter. Laura will also be going back to work in a few weeks so that will be happening soon! Thank you for all your continued support in my writing. Please let me know what you think in the comments or on my tumblr (same name). You all are super lovely and I can't thank you enough for reading another chapter of this thing. <3


	17. Me Elevas, Soy Mejor de lo Que Fui Por Ti, Amor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla go on their vacation to Puerto Rico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for my terrible Spanish. I tried my best so please don't hate me. This chapter and the next are what I've been waiting to write so I hope you love them as much as I do!

**Laura**

We have so much to do before we leave tomorrow that I had no choice but to get up early this morning. Carm has yet to pack anything, we need to go to the store to buy a couple more things, I have to drop off the spare key and new alarm code to LaF and Perry, and I’m hoping to get Carm in for a quick doctor visit. If I knew it was going to take this much work to go on this vacation, I might not have agreed so readily. After I take a shower and get dressed, I go back into the bedroom to find Carmilla still asleep. I’ll give her another half hour, but then she really needs to get up if we’re going to get everything done.

I head downstairs to make up a light breakfast and call Dr. Lockhart. I dial her office number while opening the cabinet to get out couple bowls. She answers almost immediately.

“Dr. Lockhart speaking,” she says.

“Hey, Dr. Lockhart. It’s Laura Hollis.”

“Laura, how are you these days? Carmilla?” she asks.

“We’re fine, great actually. I was hoping that we could come in to see you today.”

“Let me open my schedule, hold on. Is everything going ok with Carmilla’s recovery?”

“Oh yea, she’s doing better than I could have hoped for. She’s so strong. It’s just that our friends and school community paid for a week-long vacation and I just want to make sure that Carm’s well enough to fly and have a good time once we get there,” I answer.

“Ah, I see. Looks like I have an opening just after lunch. Could you meet me at the hospital at 1:00?”

“Yes, of course. We’ll be there. Thanks for fitting us in under such short notice,” I say.

“I’m happy to do it. You have both been through so much, I’m just glad I could help you when you needed it.”

“Thank you, see you at one?”

“See you then,” she says and hangs up.

I set my phone down on the counter and go back to making our breakfast. I cut up some strawberries, green grapes, raspberries and bananas, mix it up with some orange juice and add blueberries before I top it with vanilla yogurt. I make some coffee and toast while cleaning up and then head back upstairs with breakfast in hand. Carmilla is still asleep and has actually managed to completely cocoon herself in the sheets, with the exception of one eye peering out. I set the tray down on the dresser and sit down next to her.

Placing my hand on what I think is her hip and gently shake her, trying desperately to wake her up. It takes a few seconds, but she eventually groans and pulls the sheets even tighter around her.

“Carm, you have to get up,” I plead.

“No.”

“Baby please, we have so much to do today. There’s already barely enough time and I need your help.”

The one eye I can see flutters open, closes again before finally opening just enough to squint at me. I move a bit closer to her and slide my hand to her lower back, leaning down to kiss her head softly.

“Come on, I brought you some breakfast. We can eat right here, take a shower and get ready together. Sound good to you?” I ask.

Carmilla literally grunts her response, but pulls the sheets down far enough to reveal her beautiful smile and pull me into a weak kiss. I pull back, only to find her still smiling and I can’t help but to kiss her again, this time with more intensity. I sit up slowly and pull her with me. I can tell immediately that something’s wrong.

“Carm, are you ok?” I ask.

“I’m just really tired. Like, really tired. I don’t understand it.”

“You look like you’re in terrible pain.”

“Yea, I am hurting a bit but I’ll be fine. Maybe getting up and moving around will help,” she says.

“Well, you have an appointment with Dr. Lockhart today at 1:00 so we can ask her about this fatigue then.”

“Since when do I have an appointment, Cupcake?” she asks, yawning and stretching before falling back down to let her head hit the pillow. I lay down on my side next to her, brush a few strands of messy hair behind her ear, run my fingers down her jaw to eventually find her hand and hold it against my chest.

“Since I called her twenty minutes ago. I know you hate hospitals and doctors, but Abby isn’t that bad. Besides, we’re getting on a plane tomorrow and spending a week away. I just want to be sure that you’re ok enough to handle all that,” I say and squeeze her hand a little tighter.

“Fine, I’ll go. Not because I really want to, but I would do just about anything to go on this trip with you.”

I finally get her to sit up and eat her breakfast after an adequate amount of cuddling. Although the coffee was cold by the time we got to it, everything was still delicious and I ate way more than I intended. Carmilla and I shower together for you know, water conservation and all that. Being held and kissed by my ridiculously attractive girlfriend is just an added bonus.

We’re out the door and on our way to LaF and Perry’s within twenty minutes. It’s still really strange to me that I’m the one driving us everywhere, because Carmilla always does the driving. I really don’t mind it because I’m not that fond of dealing with traffic, but Carm is still not cleared by Dr. Lockhart to drive or lift anything over ten pounds.

I look glance at her to find her lost in thought, far away from being here with me. I hate seeing her like this. She has been incredible, fighting every step of the way to get better, but part of her is still trapped in that cabin. Not only is she fighting physical pain, but the mental and emotional trauma she went through is effecting her just as much if not more. She’s talking to me about a lot of things, but I know that she needs more than that if she’s going to move past all this. I’m glad she’s open to seeing a therapist because I think we both need it. Dr. Lockhart recommended someone and I’ve booked an appointment for a week after we return home.

She’s still just staring out the window so I reach over and pull her hand into my lap and intertwine my fingers with hers. She finally shakes her head and comes back to me with a gentle sigh and a tiny smile.

“So, what all do we have to do today besides my appointment?” she asks softly.

“We have to drop some things off to LaF, go to the store to buy a few things, and then pack all your stuff. We should probably also get a lot of sleep tonight since our flight is so early in the morning so I want to get everything done pretty early.”

“I’m so ready for the sleep part but I’ll do my best to help you with everything else too. Sorry I’m pretty much useless right now,” Carm says.

“Hey, you are not useless. There have been some times before everything that happened when I thought a sloth could be more productive than you, but everything has changed. After the attack, you’ve become so strong. There may be days when you feel like you can’t do anything and that’s ok. You are fighting so hard to get better when most people would give up and expect to be taken care of.”

“You take care of me though.”

“You’re right. I do take care of you, but that’s only because I want to. I take care of you because I love you and the thought of you being in any kind of pain basically sends me into a panic,” I laugh.

“I love you and I love that you want to take care of me but you know that you don’t have to, right?”

“Of course I know that, you may act all bad ass but with me, you’re just a big sweetheart.” Carmilla gasps and shoots me a mock offended look. “I may not have to take care of you but it’s just something that people do for their loved ones and you are the one I love the most.”

She leans over the center console to kiss my shoulder just as we’re pulling into LaF and Perry’s driveway. I love my friends dearly but I hope they don’t keep us long because I want to get all this done and get Carmilla back home to rest. I run around the car to open Carm’s door and we walk up the brick path leading to their front door. The door swings open before I even get the chance to knock.

“Hey you two, come on in!” LaF says, stepping out of the way and gesturing for us to come in. “How’s it going?” they ask.

“Great, thanks. We’re ready for tomorrow to get here. Thanks again for keeping an eye on the house. I don’t know what I would do without you two sometimes,” I say and hug them.

“It’s really not a problem, L. We’re happy to do it. You two really deserve a break and we’re glad to be able to help make that happen.”

“Where’s Perry?” I ask.

“She’s not feeling all that great today so she’s still in bed. She asked me to tell you both goodbye and to have an amazing time.”

“Please tell her thank you and to feel better soon. There’s a pretty big event for you two shortly after we get back. The last thing Perry needs is to be sick on her wedding day,” I say and look over at Carmilla. She’s looking at me through exhausted eyes and while I’m a little worried about Perry, we really should go.

“I will,” LaF says and looks in the direction of their bedroom smiling.

“Well, here’s the keys and new alarm code. You only need to go over a few times, just to water the plants and make sure that no one has broken in or anything,” I say while handing everything over to them.

“Sounds good, you don’t need to worry. Everything will be as you left it when you get back. I hate to rush you out but I really should get back to Perry. I hope you have the best time of your lives. God knows you both deserve it after what you’ve gone through,” LaF says while pulling me into a hug and then Carmilla.

“Thanks, LaF. I really do appreciate everything,” Carmilla says to them.

“Like I said, it’s not a problem. See you in a week,” they say while opening the door.

After we leave LaF and Perry’s house, we head to Target to pick up what we need before grabbing a quick lunch at Palace Pizza and meeting Abby at the hospital. We probably should have waited until after Carm’s appointment to eat, because she looks a little nauseous.

“Babe, are you feeling ok?” I ask her as we walk through the automatic doors that lead into the hospital.

“I guess so, I just feel really tired and kind of weak.”

“Well, Abby will be able to tell you what’s going on so we’re in the right place,” I assure her. “I just hope you’re well enough to go on this trip,” I admit.

“It would honestly take an act of god to make me not go on this trip with you. I want you alone, on an island, in a hotel room, on the beach, in the water, god damn I just want you.”

Carm grabs my hand to stop me from walking. I spin around to find her grinning at me like time has stopped and we’re the only two people not affected. Maybe it did. She laces her fingers with mine and pulls me in for a sweet kiss. We probably would have continued if it weren’t for the shocked old lady behind us that yell-whispered “my heavens!” to her husband. We both laughed so hard at her blatant homophobia that the moment was lost. We walked away, Carm making sure to have her hand tucked securely in my back pocket before turning her head and winking at the old bat for good measure.

We’re walking through the long, twisted corridors of the hospital, brightly illuminated by fluorescent lighting and bleached walls. This environment is entirely too sterile for anyone to feel comfortable in. Carm is already feeling pretty crappy and I feel bad because I know her being here isn’t helping. We just have to get through this appointment and I can get her out of here.

We get to the door of Abby’s office and I knock softly, not knowing if she has another patient. The door opens almost immediately to reveal a very exhausted Dr. Lockhart on the other side.

“Carmilla, Laura, how are you both?” she asks.

“We’re great, right Laura?” Carmilla looks to me with pleading eyes. I know what she’s trying to do. She wants to go on this trip so badly, she would say just about anything so Abby will give her approval.

“Yes. Great. I just want to make sure your recovery is on track, ok?” I say and squeeze Carm’s hand. While I would do anything to be alone with Carmilla for a week in a hotel room and away from all the stress our lives bring, I don’t want to do so at the expense of her health. We can always go later.

“Well, please come in and let’s get started,” Abby says while yawning.

“Everything ok?” I ask.

“Oh, I’m fine. A patient came in the ER last night with a knife stuck four inches into her back, touching her spine. I was in surgery for 17 hours but she survived. Not sure yet if she will be able to walk again, but at least she’s alive, right?”

“You are truly amazing, Abby. You saved Carmilla’s life and I can’t imagine how many others. Thank you,” I say while leading Carm over to the exam table.

“I don’t know about all that, but I’m just glad to be in a position to help people. Especially people as lovely as the two of you. Alright Carmilla, let’s see how you’re doing. Lay down and lift up your shirt and I swear to god if you make another joke I will”

“Damn, I had a good one too,” Carm says, effectively cutting Abby off.

“Too bad. Now, from one to ten, how bad has your pain been lately?” she asked.

“Throughout the day it’s a three or four, but it’s worse in the morning. I don’t want to take any pain meds, but sometimes I just have to. Is that normal?” Carmilla asked. I reached for her hand to comfort her and she instantly relaxed a bit.

“It’s perfectly normal. I’m actually surprised by how quickly you’re healing. Now that you’re doing so well, I think I can tell you that what happened should have killed you; ten times over. You must have had something worth fighting for because you should not have survived an injury like that,” Abby admits.

Carm squeezes my hand before looking over at me and saying “I guess I did.”

Abby continues her exam, checking how her wounds are healing, sending her for an MRI, taking blood work and I can’t help but starting to feel panicked. I know that Abby meant to be comforting to tell us that, but it just brought back all the horrible memories of what happened that day and how close I was to losing her. I can’t live without her. I just can’t.

I’m sitting in Abby’s office when she and Carmilla return from yet another test.

“Everything ok?” I ask, trying to sound hopeful.

Carmilla crosses the room, pulls me up and into her arms before saying “everything’s great, cupcake. Doc here says I’m good to go.”

“You mean we can go tomorrow?” I gasp.

“Yes, she is clear to fly. I won’t get her bloodwork back for a few days but everything seems fine. She’s recovering remarkably well and you two deserve to have a good time. If anything happens while you’re in Puerto Rico, give me a call. I have a few doctor friends there that you go to if need be.”

“She even said I can go in the water as long as we’re not in there for too long,” Carmilla says and then wiggles her eyebrows at me. I can’t help but laugh and pull her into a tight hug. I was honestly so afraid something was wrong, especially with how Carm has been feeling the last few days.

“So do you know why Carm’s been feeling a bit down lately?” I ask.

“Her potassium level is probably a bit low. I suggested some foods to help her with her energy level and I’m sure that you’ll make sure she eats everything on the list, right Laura?”

“Definitely. You know I will. Thank you again for everything, Abby. I don’t know what we would have done without you,” I say and give her a hug. After the initial shock I feel her hug me back.

“You’re very welcome, Laura. Take care of our girl here. You two have fun and I’ll see you when you get back for another appointment to go over the bloodwork.”

“Sounds great, thanks doc. Come on, cupcake. We’ve got some packing to do,” Carm says while dragging me out the door.

I heard Abby saying something as we’re almost running down the hallway but we were too far away for me to make out what she is saying. Carm is so ready to get out of this hospital and I don’t blame her so I quickly follow behind her. The only time we stop on the way to the parking garage is when we see the geriatric homophobe and her husband sitting in the cafeteria so Carm was quick to stop us and pull me into a very heated kiss, of which I was glad to oblige. I wish I would have had the foresight to take a picture of that old lady because the look of horror on her face was priceless. She actually started praying when we walked away and we could not stop laughing.

The entire drive home, Carmilla could not keep her hands off me. She is the happiest I’ve seen her in days and I’m loving every minute of it.

“What’s got you all worked up?” I ask her.

“I’ve just been afraid that something was going to happen and we couldn’t go. Before I met you, everything in my life went wrong and I was just expecting the worst. When you told me we were going to see Abby today, I just knew that she was going to say no. I’m sorry I’ve been so grumpy lately, I just really wanted to go on this vacation with you but now that it’s actually happening I can’t contain myself.”

“Well, that explains it. Why didn’t you just talk to me?” I look over to her and then back to the road.

“I don’t know. I’ve just put you through so much already, I didn’t want to bother you with something so trivial.”

“Carmilla, nothing about you or what you think will ever be trivial to me. I want to share my life with you and I can only hope that you want to do the same. Please don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me. I will always care and I will always want to help you because I love you.”

“What did I do in a former life to deserve you?” she asked.

“It’s not what you did in a former life, it’s who you are now that I’m in love with. Everything that you are is enough for me. You’re perfect and I’m the lucky one here. Please don’t ever forget that.”

She leaned over the center console and kissed my cheek sweetly, laced out fingers together and laid her head on my shoulder. I could stay like this for the rest of the day but we have too much to do.

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

We’re finally home after such a long day and while I hate the idea of packing, the thought of having Laura alone in a pool, hot tub, or even the ocean is enough motivation for me to do just about anything. I am so excited I can barely stand it. I’m trying to maintain my broody, aloof exterior but I’m almost positive I’m not succeeding. Besides, Laura sees right through it most of the time and she’s the only one that I would ever allow to do that.

“Come on, Carm. We need to pack and get everything ready!” Laura practically squeals.

“Laura, it’s only three. We have plenty of time. Can’t we take a nap before dinner? I promise I’ll work extra hard to pack after we sleep a bit and then eat.”

“Fine, but only for an hour. We have to get everything done by eight because I want you in bed by nine.”

“Is that so?” I ask her and raise an eyebrow.

“You are unbelievable. Come on, let’s go take that nap.”

Laura grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs to our bedroom. Once we get close enough to the bed, she pulls me closer by my belt loops and gently slides my pants off. I think she’s the only other person on this earth that loathes wearing pants as much as I do, and I can’t be mad about that. Soon enough we’re down to our bra and underwear and tangled up in the sheets of our bed. I fall asleep to the feeling of Laura rubbing my back softly and the sound of her heart beat. If I could stay here for the rest of my life that would be ok and I think I want to. I want her forever.

Laura wakes me up way earlier than I was ready to, but once I remembered what we are packing for, I couldn’t help but smile. We lie there, holding each other for what feels like hours but soon have to get up if we’re going to get everything done. I jump in the shower while Laura goes into the kitchen to make us some dinner.

I come out of the shower to find her dancing in the kitchen again. This time she has her earbuds in and I’m almost positive she’s listening to Colbie Caillat based on the tune she’s humming. She’s swaying her hips back and forth, stirring the pasta sauce she’s making and she begins to sing softly. She would kill me if she knew I was watching her but I just can’t stop myself.

 _“I write our names down in the sand_  
_Picturing all our plans_  
_I close my eyes and I can see_  
_You, and you ask, ‘Will you marry me?’_  
  
_Is it made up in my mind?_  
_Am I crazy, just wasting time?_  
_I think this could be love_  
_I’m serious.”_

I walk over to her before I can even stop myself, wrap my arms around her and bury my face into her neck. She jumps before pulling her earbuds out and turning to face me.

“You’re not crazy and you’re not wasting time, Laura. I’m serious too. I love you.”

She drops the marinara sauce stained spoon to the floor in favor of wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me. I’ve known for a while now that I’m in love with her, but I realized in this moment that I can’t imagine ever spending another day on this earth without her in it. I have some plans to make, I just hope I can get it all done in time.

She pulls back, smiling at me and I swear I could melt onto the floor.

“Hey, dinner’s just about ready. Will you finish up so I can take a quick shower?” she asks.

“Of course, although I can’t promise I won’t burn anything by the time you get back.”

“You’ll be fine.” She kisses me again. “I’ll only be a few minutes, ok?”

“Go on, I’ll do my best to not ruin dinner but you better hurry,” I say before playfully smacking her butt.

She giggles before kissing me one more time and running out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I hear her yell “I love you too!” and I’m grinning like an idiot when I turn my attention to this sauce. I finish up dinner, plate everything and even managed to not burn the garlic bread. By the time Laura comes back downstairs, I have the table almost completely set and she looks so happy. Everything is perfect.

We ate our dinner, cleaned up and packed everything quickly so we could make our scheduled bed time. While I want more than anything to make love to my beautiful girlfriend after the day we’ve had together, I am beyond exhausted and in a ton of pain so I actually need to get some rest. I fall asleep with Laura holding me tight in her arms. I’ve never felt this safe. Yea, I definitely want this forever.

* * *

 

I somehow managed to wake up before Laura this morning, and I’m glad I did because I have a few calls to make that I don’t want her to hear. I grab my phone, wrap a blanket around me and go out to the balcony to dial William’s number, knowing that he’s going to be pissed I’m calling so early. I just hope that when he finds out why, maybe he won’t be so mad.

“What the hell, Kitty? It’s four-thirty in the morning!” he says.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just really need your help.”

“Are you ok? Laura?” he asks, sounding very worried.

“Yes, we’re great. That’s actually why I’m calling. I decided something last night and I need your help to make it all happen.”

“Well, hurry up with it. Some of us are trying to sleep you know,” he spits out.

“I’m going to ask Laura to marry me in Puerto Rico and I need your help getting the ring,” I say softly.

“Holy crap! Of course I’ll help. What can I do?”

“Well, first of all I hope you’re able to get a few days off work because I want you all to be there after it happens. I obviously don’t have time to go ring shopping so if I email you the ring design I want, can you get it for me and bring it with you?” I ask, hoping for a yes.

“Definitely. I’ll do whatever I can to help you. Oh my god, Carmilla. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m so damn happy for you!” he practically yells.

“Thanks, William. I’ll let you go for now, but expect me to be emailing you and texting you to help me with the details. I have to call Danny before Laura wakes up so I have to go. Love you, bro.”

“Love you too, Kitty.”

We hang up, and I know he’s wearing the same smile I am. I have never been more sure about anything as I am about marrying Laura. Everything we’ve been through just solidified the fact that she’s the only one for me. Any other person would have ran a long time ago, but she stayed by my side, even when it became life-threatening. I cannot wait for the day I can call her my wife.

I dial Danny’s number, bracing myself for the anger on the other end of the phone.

“What the fuck, Karnstein? Do you know what time it is?” Danny asks.

“Look, I’m sorry to call you so early but I really need your help.”

“Everything good?”

“Yea, everything’s all fine.”

“Then why would you call me so damn early?”

“How do you feel about taking a short trip to Puerto Rico to meet us there on Wednesday?” I ask her.

“But this trip is for you two, why would you want me there?” she asks, sounding confused.

“Well, I actually need you to ask everyone close to us to come as well. You’ll only really need to be there Wednesday night and some of Thursday. I’m paying to extend our trip another few days to celebrate and I want her to myself after you all leave on Thursday.”

“What exactly are you celebrating?”

“I’m going to ask Laura to marry me on Wednesday night and I want you all there to celebrate with us afterward.”

“Holy shit, Carmilla! I can’t believe you’re going to settle down! Of course I’ll be there and I’ll get the rest of the gang together. This is incredible!”

“I know. Laura’s the one for me, Danny. There’s no point in waiting when I already know she’s my forever.”

“Well, I’ll text you once I confirm everyone’s flight plans. Let me know if I can do anything else to help. I’m so excited!”

“Me too. Get some sleep and I’ll talk to you soon. Thanks for everything.”

“Any time,” she says before we both hang up.

“Who was that?” Laura says from behind me. Oh shit. She couldn’t have heard everything, right?

“I was just talking to Danny, but don’t worry about it. How long have you been out here?” I ask, hoping that she didn’t hear everything. I want it to be a surprise.

“Not long. I just woke up. How on earth did you wake up before me?” she laughs and I pull her close and wrap the blanket around both of us. She melts into me and I feel like I’m going to cry. This is really happening. I’m going to ask this beautiful girl to marry me. I just hope she says yes.

“Come on, Cupcake. We’ve got a flight to catch.”

* * *

 

**Laura**

If I thought Carmilla was grumpy before, ‘dealing with airport security’ Carmilla takes the cake and eats it too. The look she’s giving the TSA officer for selecting her for a random pat down is enough to make anyone pee their pants and I think that poor kid might have. He barely checked her pockets before waving us forward. I can’t stop laughing at how pleased she looks to have scared the crap out of him.

“Carm, you didn’t have to scare him like that.”

“Yes I did. You’re the only person allowed to touch me and I wanted him to fear me for I am the night.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but I know the real you.”

“And let’s keep it that way,” she says before throwing her arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek while we walk toward our gate.

We’re on the plane within an hour and on our way to Puerto Rico. I really wanted to sleep on the flight but I’m not sure that I can because I’m so excited. Carmilla was quick to put her earbuds in since there is a crying toddler a few rows away so I do the same and we settle in for a long flight.

An hour or so into the flight, an attendant comes by with the drink cart. I get some grape soda and Carm settles on ginger ale. The attendant hands Carm her drink first and then she hands me mine, lingering a little too long and touching my hand in the process. I’m not the only one that notices because Carm takes out her earbuds and places her had on the inside of my thigh, staring directly into the girl’s eyes. She all but scoffs and rolls her cart to the next row.

“What was that?” I ask.

“That Cupcake, was someone shamelessly flirting with you right in front of me and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let that happen. I’ve never really been the jealous type but that bitch better keep her hands off you.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at how cute she is right now. She looks adorable with her hood up and that little pout on her face.

“Well, you don’t have to worry because I’m sure you know by now that I only have eyes for you.”

“Damn straight,” she says and I laugh while pulling her into a kiss. I hope the flight attendant saw it too.

We land at the Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport in San Juan a few hours later and I have to wake Carmilla up. She looks angry at first because I know she’s still exhausted, but once she realizes where we are she sits up smiling.

“Come on, babe. We’re here,” I say while standing up and stretching. Holy crap my back hurts from sitting in that terrible chair for so long. This trip better be worth it.

I grab our bags from the overhead compartment and lead Carmilla out of the plane and into the airport. Upon exiting the jet bridge, I see a huge sign that reads “Bienvenidos a Puerto Rico” and I’m suddenly realizing that I’m going to have a difficult time here because I can’t speak a word of Spanish.

“Well, I really hope that there are some people here that speak English. If not, I’m really screwed,” I say.

“I’m sure there are, but didn’t I tell you that I speak fluent Spanish?” Carm responds.

“Seriously!?” I say, genuinely shocked.

“Seriously. I speak German and French as well but I don’t like to advertise it. I feel like it makes me look pretentious.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?” I ask, bewildered by my incredible girlfriend. I mean, I knew she was intelligent but I had no idea about this.

“I can’t ride a bike. Does that make you feel better?” she asks and smiles honestly. I can’t help but laugh and kiss her.

We collect our bags from baggage claim and head over to the car rental place. Danny really took care of every detail and I’m so glad. I have a lot to thank her for once Carm and I get back. After fighting our way through the crowds of the busy airport and to our rental, I plug the address of the hotel into the car’s GPS and we’re on our way.

I usually don’t mind driving, but today I really wish that Carm was well enough to drive. I am terrified and I just know that we’re going to get hit by someone. No one here is paying attention to the traffic lines. They’re just driving wherever they want and I feel like blinkers aren’t even a concept here. I cannot wait to get to the hotel.

We pull up to the Ritz Carlton Casino Spa and Carm has to all but peel my fingers off the steering wheel.

“Easy, Cupcake. We’re here and we’re safe. We’ll take a taxi everywhere from now on, ok?”

“That’s probably for the best,” I admit.

Before we can even get our bags out of the car, a hotel employee approaches us and says “Bienvenido a Ritz Carlton! ¿Nosotros podemos aparcar el coche y tomar tus maletas para que?”

Carm hands him the keys and says “Sí, eso sería muy agradable. Gracias.”

I think my jaw might have hit the floor. Hearing Carm speak Spanish like that is way hotter than I expected it to be. This is going to be a great vacation.

As we’re walking inside the hotel lobby I turn to her. “What did you say to him?” I ask.

“He just wanted to park the car and help us with our bags. I told him it would be nice and I thanked him.”

“Oh,” I say.

She grabs my hand and stops me from walking.

“What?” she asks.

“Nothing. It’s just… that was really, um…”

“I know, Cupcake. You don’t have to say it. I’ll speak Spanish to you all you want once we get upstairs,” she says and winks at me.

I know I have to be blushing because she laughs and laces out fingers together as we make our way to the front desk.

“Bienvenido al Ritz Carlton San Juan. ¿Cómo puedo ayudarle?” the concierge asks.

“Tenemos una reserva para Karnstein,” Carm says to her. I squeeze her hand to remind her that I have no idea what’s going on here.

“¿Hablas inglés?” Carm asks.

“Yes, of course Ms. Karnstein. It looks like your room is ready. Alejandro will escort you there and your bags will arrive soon after. My name is Isabella. Please call down here if you need anything at all to make your stay more enjoyable.”

“We will. Thank you, Isabella.” I say, trying to feel more included in the conversation.

“Come on, sweetheart. I’m pretty tired and I’d like to try out this bed with you if you don’t mind,” Carm says while taking out keys from Isabella and turning toward the elevators. I wrap my arm around her waist and walk with her, Alejandro following close behind. Once the elevator doors close, Carm pulls me into the hug I didn’t know I was waiting all day for. I am so happy to be here with her right now. I don’t know how this trip could possibly get any better.

Alejandro leads us down the hall and to our room. Making sure that we don’t need anything else, he quickly turns away and returns to the elevator. Carm opens the door and I am completely blown away. The room is so bright and vibrant. The décor is modern, yet it resembles the rich history of San Juan. While the bed looks incredible, I’m immediately drawn to the huge glass doors that lead outside. Our balcony overlooks the beach and we have the most incredible view of the Atlantic. I swear I could live here it’s so beautiful.

I let go of Carm’s hand and go out on the balcony. The smell of the ocean air is all but intoxicating, relaxing every muscle in my tired body. I hear Carm talking to someone in the room and it’s the same man from earlier bringing us out bags. She tips him and sends him on his way before joining me on the balcony.

“What do you think?” she asks.

“It’s beautiful here. How is this the first time I’ve been here?”

“It really is. We have plenty of time to see everything, but I need some sleep. You don’t have to join me if you don’t want to,” Carm says.

“No, that flight was exhausting and I want to be well rested before we do anything.”

We leave the balcony doors open and fall asleep to the sound of the waves and the smell of the ocean breeze. I don’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed and I don’t ever want to leave.

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

I woke up what must have been hours later. Laura is back on the balcony, watching the waves hit the shore. I don’t know which is more beautiful, the view itself or seeing Laura in nothing but my shirt and her underwear taking it all in. It’s definitely Laura.

Before I can even get out of bed to join her, she’s making her way back inside.

“You’re awake,” she says and smiles sweetly at me.

“It appears so,” I say and pull back the covers so she can climb back in bed with me. I wrap myself around her and breathe her in. If it weren’t for how hungry I am, I would stay in this bed all day and night with her.

“So what do you want to do?” she asks.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty hungry. Let’s hit the beach and see if we can find some pinchos. I’ve been craving them ever since I found out we were coming here.

“What are pinchos?” she asks.

“Oh my god, Laura. Only one of the greatest foods you will ever eat in your entire life. Trust me,” I say and get out of bed. I got up a bit too quickly and it hurt like hell. Maybe a quick shower will help. I make my way over to the bathroom only to find a shower schedule on the door.

“What the frilly hell is this?” I ask rhetorically.

“What?”

“There’s an actual shower schedule on the door. Hold on,” I say as I walk over to the phone to call the front desk.

“¿Cómo le puedo ayudar?”

“Hey Isabella, it’s Carmilla Karnstein. What’s the deal with this shower schedule?”

“I’m sorry for not mentioning it earlier. We’re experiencing a pretty serious drought here right now and in order to keep out pool and other spa amenities, we had to agree to a shower schedule to limit our guests’ water usage. Everyone on your floor may shower from six to nine pm. I’m sorry if this is an inconvenience to you, but we had to agree to this in order to stay open.”

“That certainly explains it, thank you,” I say and hang up.

“Damn, we actually have to follow this thing. There’s a drought on the island and we can only shower from six to nine at night.”

“That’s not so bad, Carm.”

“Yea, I know. I just really wanted a shower right now.”

“It will be six very soon. Let’s go eat and we can shower when we get back, ok?”

“We?” I ask.

“Yes, we. Unless you don’t want to.”

“Well we are trying to conserve water so it is the ethical thing to do,” I say.

“Of course. We must shower together for ethical reasons,” Laura says and giggles.

We get dressed and head downstairs. We’re walking through the pool area to get to the beach and I have so many ideas of what we’re going to do here. I can’t wait to get Laura in that pool, and that hot tub, and really just anywhere as long as she’s in a bathing suit.

As soon as our toes hit the sand, I see a food cart over to the right. We walk toward it and I’m practically drooling from the smell. It has been at least five years since I’ve had a pincho and I’m so excited.

“¿Qué puedo conseguir para usted?” the man asked.

“Dos pinchos, dos empanadas y un par de sodas por favor,” I answer.

“Sólo un momento.”

We stand there taking in our surroundings while we wait for the man to prepare our food. I’m so happy to be here with Laura, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about Wednesday. I mean, I’m pretty sure she’s going to say yes but I want every last detail to be perfect. I’m positive I’m going to sweep her off her feet with what I have planned, but anything could happen.

“Aqui tienes,” he says and hands us our food.

“Gracias,” Laura says and sounds adorable doing it. I smile at her and lead her back over to the hotel so we can find a table to sit and eat. Laura takes a bite of one of the pieces of meat from her pincho and moans loudly.

“Oh dear god, Carmilla. This is amazing!” she says.

“I told you, Cupcake. Pinchos are my jam.”

“How am I just now finding out about these? They should serve this everywhere because oh my god,” she says and goes in for another bite. I can’t help but laugh at her while I tear into my dinner. We very quickly finish our meals and head back up to the room.

“How about that shower?” she asks as I close the door behind us.

“Well, it’s just now six and I was kind of hoping we could hit one of the hot tubs downstairs for a bit. I’m hurting a little bit and I’m hoping that will help. We’ll make it back in time for our shower. Promise.”

“Sounds good to me,” she says.

Laura goes into the bathroom to change and I was a bit confused as to why until I saw her. I mean, I’ve seen her naked countless times, but seeing that white bikini against her tan skin is enough to make me lose track of any words I was going to say.

“You hate it, don’t you?” she asked, looking disappointed at my lack of words.

“Are you kidding me? No. You look incredible. I just can’t believe that you’re mine sometimes. I have never seen someone so beautiful and you’re here with me. I’m just in shock I guess.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Laura says as she walks over to me. She runs her hands along my stomach and pulls at my bikini bottom. If she pulled any harder, it would have come off and I think that may have been her goal all along.

We head downstairs and outside to find the nearest empty hot tub. There are people everywhere, but we somehow manage to find one in the corner of the resort. Laura goes over to the bar to order us a drink and I turn the temperature of the water down a bit. I want to sit in here long enough to enjoy it, but I don’t want to aggravate my injuries too badly.

I test the water with my toes first, and it feels perfect. I climb in slowly, bracing myself against the side while I submerge my body all the way up to my neck and good lord does this feel incredible. Every sore muscle in my body is instantly soothed and I already feel better, but seeing Laura walking toward me in that bikini is making me feel something entirely different. Every curve of her body is addicting to me and I cannot wait to get my hands on it.

“Hey, I hope you’re fine with a piña colada because it sounded good to me,” she says before handing me my drink.

“It’s fine, Laura. Now, get in here before I drag you in.”

Laura flashes the most brilliant smile I’ve ever seen before slowly bending over, setting her drink on the side of the hot tub, giving me the most incredible view I’ve ever seen. If she bent over any further, she might have fallen out of her bikini top and I would be perfectly fine with that. She stands back up, and I see every ab muscle contract and release. I’m really thankful to already be in the water because I’m getting embarrassingly wet just by looking at her. She lifts her arms up tie pull her hair into a pony tail and I swear to god I’m going to explode if she’s not in this water with me in the next ten seconds.

“Laura, please.”

“Patience goes a long way, Carm.”

She finishes with her hair and slowly climbs in the tub, sitting across from me. The sounds she made while adjusting to the temperature of the water are literally making my hips stir and I think she knows what she’s doing to me because she’s proudly wearing the most evil grin I’ve seen on her.

“What are you doing all the way over there?” I ask.

“Enjoying the view,” she responds instantly.

“But you’re facing the hotel.”

“We both know I’m not looking at the hotel, Carm.”

She floats over to my side of the tub, sitting right next to me and draping both her legs over mine. My hands find her skin like a moth to a flame and I can’t stop them from wandering. There are people all around us but I could care less. I brush the hair off her neck and move in to kiss the skin there.

“Carm, we can’t. People could see us.”

“If you really didn’t want to, you wouldn’t have worn that bathing suit and you definitely wouldn’t be looking at me like that.”

Laura doesn’t say a word, but instead pulls me in for a kiss. We both pull away before anyone notices what we’re doing but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop what my hands are doing under the water. I slide my hand from her ankles to her knees and she pulls one leg off of mine, effectively spreading them for me. I knew she wanted this as badly as I do.

Her breath against my neck is enough to set me ablaze and I am one touch away from combustion. When my hand finds its way to the inside of her thigh, she gasps and tries to squeeze her legs shut.

“Easy, Cupcake. You don’t people to figure us out do you?” I whisper in her ear before biting her earlobe softly and pulling away with it still trapped between my teeth.

She doesn’t say a word, but shakes her head and grabs my wrist to direct my hand to where she really wants it. She’s not going to win that easily.

“What happened to patience?” I ask.

“I could give a shit about patience right now, Carmilla. Please,” she pleads.

I can’t help but laugh at the bunched up face she’s making. I quickly wipe that look off her face when I press down on her clit with my thumb through her bikini. She bites down on my shoulder to try and muffle the involuntary moan that comes spilling from her lips and I’ve already won this little game we’re playing. She bucks her hips against my hand and I better speed this up or we might actually get caught. Laura has never been particularly quiet when it comes to sex and I don’t want her to be too embarrassed.

I look around to make sure that the other hotel guests aren’t paying attention before I really get Laura worked up. I start rubbing lazy circles over her bikini and her hips are matching my rhythm with practiced ease. She’s already gasping and moaning softly and I have to look around us again to make sure no one is watching. While I couldn’t care less if others see what we’re doing, I know that Laura will be completely mortified and I couldn’t let that happen. Once I’ve made sure the coast is clear, I slide my hand underneath the cloth and even in the water I can feel how wet she is for me and suddenly I’m the one who’s moaning.

“God, Laura. Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

She’s trying to respond, but it comes out in a strangled, muffled moan when I slide my finger from her entrance to her clit and back down again. I can feel her legs shaking and I know she’s close. I lean in to kiss her, hoping to muffle the inevitable moan I know will be spilling out of her mouth soon enough. I circle her clit one more time before entering her with two fingers, curling them upward and pressing down hard on her clit with my palm and she falls apart in my arms. I thrust my fingers a few times to ease her down from her orgasm while whispering “Te quiero” against her lips and I feel every single muscle on her body relax one at a time. Once she’s able to breathe again, I look around to see if anyone picked up on what we’re doing. Luckily only one couple seems to have seen us, but they smile and look away so we’re alright.

I look back to my Laura to find her still worked up; chest heaving, sweat dripping down the side of her neck and looking at me like I’m next. God I hope so. She stands up on wobbly legs and laughs at the disappointed look I know is all over my face.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I ask. She reaches for my hand and pulls me up so we’re face to face, chest to chest.

She leans close to my ear and whispers “what I want to do to you would get us both arrested if we did it in public” and steps out of the hot tub as if nothing happened. She wraps a towel around herself and hands one to me before dragging out of the tub and toward the hotel and we cannot get to the room fast enough.

* * *

 

**Laura**

We’re standing at the door and my hands are already under Carm’s towel before she can even get the key in the lock.

“Laura, if you don’t stop we’re not going to make it inside and we might get kicked out of this place.”

I laugh and wrap my arms around her while I wait for her to unlock the door and drag me inside. The door isn’t even closed before she pushes me to the wall and throws my towel to the floor. I let her pin my hands to the wall above my head as she trails kisses down my neck to my collarbone. How did I ever get so lucky to find her? Carmilla is everything I’ve ever wanted and I can’t believe she’s mine.

“Wait,” I say, pushing her away.

“What’s wrong? Oh god did I hurt you?” she asks, looking terrified.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just, I want this to be about you. Let me do the work this time?” I ask.

She smiles softly and nods her head. I lead her over toward the bed and lay her down gently. I stand back up, reaching behind me and untying my bathing suit top. When it falls to the ground, she made a sound that sounded like a cry. She needs me and I need her just as badly. I crawl on to the bed and lay the weight of my body against her. We fit together like puzzle pieces.

I lean down to kiss her softly while she’s running her nails down my back causing me to arch into her. She knows exactly which buttons to press to make me lose control and I can’t let that happen right now. This is all about her. I sit up, pulling her with me. I roughly slide my hands up her sides and around her back to untie her bathing my suit and I feel her body shiver before she throws her head back. I take the opportunity to kiss and bite her neck a bit and I could have sworn she came from that alone but she’s still grasping at me desperately so my job isn’t done yet.

I push her back down to the bed, settling between her legs and grinding down slowly. She raises her knees up and spreads her legs wider to gain more friction so I roll my hips into her again, causing her to cry out and pull me even closer to her. I’m sucking on the skin under her jaw and rhythmically grinding my hips into her, setting the perfect pace to make her lose all sense of reality and before I know it she’s writhing beneath me.

I sit up and look down to find her looking almost hurt that I’ve stopped. I lean back down to kiss the worried look off her face, then a kiss to her jaw, her chest, her stomach and to each one of her scars before I sit back up. I untie her bathing suit bottom and she does the same to me and we throw the offending garments to the floor. Picking up her right leg, I kiss her ankle and throw my right leg over her left. When I lower myself down, the feeling of her against me is almost too much for me to handle and I cry out only to be drown out by Carmilla’s cry.

I’m holding her leg against my shoulder with my left hand and holding her hand with the other as I start to grind into her. We’re moving as one, climbing the delicious ascent to mutual orgasms. I can see it in her eyes that she’s close so I speed things up, applying more pressure when I feel her shake underneath me. Seeing her fall apart is all it takes for me to come crashing down all over her, screaming her name loud enough for the entire floor to hear. Once I regain my senses I flop down on the bed next to her and she pulls me into her arms. We lay like this for a while, holding each other and both of us afraid to move out of fear that we’ll ruin the perfect moment we just shared.

After a while, Carm asks “what time is it?”

I glance over to the clock on my night stand before saying “8:30, why?”

“I think it’s about time we take that shower before it’s too late.”

“Probably a good idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy engagement plans, Batman! Yea, that's totally going to happen so come back for that. Oh boy, the things I have planned for the future of this fic are making me practically giddy with excitement. I'm trying to write the Hollstein of my dreams so I hope you're into it too. Please let me know what you think as your comments make my day. You can always stop by tumblr and say hi! <3


	18. Only You Can Set My Heart On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla asks... but will Laura say yes?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please google images of a bio-luminescent bay so you can have a more clear picture of the main scene in this chapter. I wish I could have made this into a film because damn the cinematography would have been epic. Oh well.
> 
> Shout out to youredoingitforjesus for talking through a few scenes with me and calling me stupid. You the best, fam.

**Carmilla**

I woke up the next morning to the bed shaking. The sun is out but it’s still dark in our room since we have the shades drawn so I can’t really figure out what’s going on. They don’t have earthquakes here. Holy crap is the island sinking? Get your shit together, Karnstein. That’s just ridiculous.

Oh no, it’s Laura. She’s kicking her legs really hard and rolling back and forth. She’s saying “no,” “stop,” and “get away from her” over and over and I think she’s crying. I run my hand up her back and then wrap my arm around her, pulling myself closer to her. She’s still thrashing around so I keep getting hit but I could care less about that. I just want to wake her up from whatever hell she seems to be trapped in.

“Laura, wake up.”

“You can’t have her anymore. I will die before,” Laura says.

“Laura, baby please wake up. Come back to me,” I plead.

She finally freezes and gasps for air. I think she’s awake now but her body is trembling.

“What happened? Where are we?”

“We’re in our hotel room in San Juan, remember? We’re on vacation far away from everything that happened. You’re here with me and you’re safe,” I say and kiss her shoulder.

Laura turns over and lays against my chest, trying desperately to take a deep breath but it seems impossible. She’s still shaking and crying. I’m rubbing her back softly while I hold her close, trying anything to make her feel better.

“Are you ok, Cupcake? What happened?” I ask.

“It’s that same dream, Carm. I try so hard to fight her away but she always wins. It’s bad enough that I let you down once but to relive it every night in my nightmares is tearing me apart.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you didn’t let me down? She was fucking crazy, Laura. She was after me long before you came into my life. I’m the one that let you down. I put you in danger just by being with you and the fact that she got to you will haunt me for the rest of my life.”

“You actually believe that you put me in danger by agreeing to be with me?” Laura asked.

“Yea, sometimes I do. Part of me wonders what would have happened if I met you after I turned mother into the police. I was just so afraid of her, Laura and I guess I should have been. I knew she hated me, but I didn’t think she was capable of murder. I feel like such a coward for not doing anything sooner, but it’s like she put a spell on me or something. I just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t until I met you that I felt like I had something worth fighting her for. Once she started threatening you, I just didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t going to let her hurt you. That night at the cabin when I saw her braiding your hair and playing with that knife, knowing that she was going to take away the only good thing that’s ever happened to me I felt like I had already died.  If I lost you, there is nothing worth living for.”

“I think that’s why I keep having this nightmare. After that night, I’m just so afraid to lose you.”

“You never will. I’m yours forever, Laura. Don’t you know that?” I ask.

“I do,” she answers and kisses me. I could get used to hearing her say that.

* * *

 

**Laura**

The last few days have been absolutely incredible. We spent all of Friday lounging around the hotel. We laid on the beach for a few hours, hit the pool for a while, had dinner at one of the hotel restaurants and spent the rest of the night locked in our room. We’ve been through so much lately, I think we both needed to get away from it all and just be with each other.

Carm has been the best tour guide, taking me to all the best places on the island. On Saturday we walked around Old San Juan and everything about it was beautiful. From the Spanish Colonial row houses that are painted every color you could possibly imagine to the pale blue cobblestone streets that remind you of the sky; this place is breathtaking. We walked from shop to shop, looking at all the clothes and hand-crafted souvenirs that Carm had to stop me from buying. We had lunch at El Jibarito and I think my taste buds might have fallen off the food was so good. I could eat their plantain tamales every day for the rest of my life.

After lunch we visited Castillo San Felipe del Morro, a fort built in the 16th century to guard the entrance to San Juan Bay. The construction held up so well, you can really put yourself back in time and almost imagine the battles that took place where we were standing. I wish we could have stayed longer than we did because everything there was so interesting, but Carmilla was rightfully exhausted after a long day of walking around. We went back to the hotel around five, took a long bath and went to bed early after eating the food we ordered from room service. Carm felt bad about having to cut the day short, but how could I possibly be upset right now? We’ve only been here for two days but I’m having the time of my life. Navigating around this island paradise with my love is the most perfect way I could imagine spending the next few days. I don’t know how this vacation could possibly get any better.

We slept until almost two in the afternoon on Sunday, so any plans we had went out the window. I woke up around nine, but Carm was resting so well I couldn’t wake her. I haven’t been sleeping all that well lately so I ended up falling back asleep anyway. After we finally got up, Carm had the absolutely brilliant idea of going to the spa and oh my god was it incredible. We started with something call the sea shell indulgence massage and I have never felt so relaxed in my life. It involved some exfoliation with this pineapple-mango sea salt scrub, strategically applied algae to warm the muscles and cold sea stones to bring us back down to a normal body temperature. The masseuse was so good I think I fell asleep at least three times and it took every bit of strength to get back up when we were done. All the stress I’ve been carrying in my neck and shoulders since the cabin is gone, for now at least. I talked Carm into getting a facial and pedicure with me. She wasn’t too excited about it at first, but her mind quickly changed when that lady was massaging her feet.

On Monday we took a tour through part of El Yunque National Forest. This is one of those places you don’t think is actually real until you see it for yourself. There are waterfalls literally everywhere in this rain forest. Everything is the richest shade of green I’ve ever seen and the way the sun is breaking through the canopy is just amazing. As we’re walking through the trails with our group, Carmilla finally loses it. You see, there are these little frogs all over the island that whistle really loudly and there were a ton of them in the forest around us. The noise became so loud it gave us both a headache and while the landscape was beautiful, we couldn’t wait to get out of there and back to the hotel.

We spend all of Tuesday at the hotel and surrounding beaches. We were both so exhausted from our hike through the rainforest the day before, we really didn’t have a choice. Although, out of all the things we’ve done since we’ve been here, lounging around with Carm is definitely on the top of that list.

This week has been an escape from reality we both desperately needed. I know that when we get back, life is coming back full force. I’m going back to school soon and I’m really nervous about it to be honest. I’m worried about how Carm is going to handle being home alone all day. I’m nervous about the actual teaching part of it too. It’s been so long since I’ve been in the classroom, I feel almost like I’ve forgotten what I’m doing. Everyone at school pretty much knows everything that happened so I’m a little worried about how they’re going to treat me. I’m glad we have a few appointments with our new doctor before then, because I definitely need to talk a few things out.

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

Laura still thinks we’re leaving on Thursday so she was a little disappointed that we didn’t go anywhere today. I felt bad, but tomorrow is the big day so we had to stick around the hotel so I could meet Will and everyone else to get the ring and go over the plan quickly. I just hope that Laura decides to take a nap at some point today because I don’t know how I’m going to make this work otherwise.

We spent most of the morning at the beach. We went swimming for a while, staying in the water longer than I usually would because of a few reasons; Laura wouldn’t keep her hands and lips off me and the water was actually warm enough for me to tolerate it. Laura wanted to lay out some more and while I’m not very fond of being in the sun for extended periods of time, she made every minute of it worth my while. Seeing her lying there like that, sweat beading off her sun-kissed skin while she holds on to my hand to make sure I’m not going anywhere without her is enough to make me fall in love all over again. Everything about her inside and out is intoxicatingly beautiful. She’s perfect and I just hope she says yes because I can’t imagine living another day without her.

“Ready to go back in? We’ve been out here for a while I think I’m actually melting,” I say.

“Yeah, I’m was starting to fall asleep and I don’t the beach is a very good place for a nap. The sunburn would be horrendous,” Laura answers.

“Can’t have that, Cupcake. You’re too pretty to be burnt to a crisp.”

Laura smiles up at me, past the hand she’s using to shade her eyes from the scorching sun. I offer my hand to help her up and “accidently” pull her into my arms. Laura begins to laugh and I swear my stomach just punched itself in the face. I am starting to get so nervous that she won’t say yes. I know she loves me, she’s told me so a million times and she shows me every day. It’s just that this is such a huge commitment and we’ve been through so much together I don’t know how she will react tomorrow. I need this to go perfectly because I want her to know that I’m in it forever.

Things have been crazy since the day we met. Her running into me that day seemed to have set off a chain of events that almost carried us down into hell with it. According to my mother I wasn’t supposed to have anything good in my life, only pain and misery. Once she found out about how good Laura was to me, she made it her mission to destroy us both. I feel so guilty for subjecting Laura to my mother’s torture. If anyone on this earth was an actual angel it would be Laura Hollis. Sure, she has her quirks but to me, they make her even better. She’s the kind of girl everyone dreams of being with. She’s alarmingly intelligent and challenges me every day to become better myself. Every bone in her body is made of compassion and kindness. Not only has she taken care of me every day without a hint of selfishness, but she makes me feel like I deserve to be taken care of; something I’ve never thought to be true. She loves me unabashedly and unconditionally. On days when I feel broken and empty inside from all the nightmares I try to convince myself are harmless dreams, she’s by my side, filling me up with love and reminding me that I’m ok. She is brave, considerate, and somehow the perfect combination of sexy and adorable. She’s everything I never knew I wanted but cannot live without.

“Come on, let’s head back up to the room for a while,” I say.

“Sounds good, I’m just going to shower off really quick,” Laura says. She kisses me on the cheek before heading to the outdoor showers by the pool. I’m following behind her, my mind drifting toward our future together. Just thinking about growing old with her is making me want to cry and I can’t really get all emotional right now. First of all I have to maintain my bad ass exterior and Laura will know something’s up if I get all weepy. I have the element of surprise right now and I need to keep it that way.

Laura is standing beside the shower, waiting for the water to reach the right temperature before stepping underneath the steady stream when I notice a group of men staring at her and pointing. I go to sit at a table close to them so I can hear what they’re saying. I don’t think they saw us together so I want to make sure they’re not going to do anything stupid.

“Shit bro, look at that bitch by the showers,” one of them says. I feel my blood beginning to boil already but I’m not going to fall for it that quickly.

“Damn, she’s looking pretty lonely over there. Don’t you think, Zach?”

“Yea, very lonely. Twenty bucks says I have her on her back in my room by 5:00.”

“I’ll take that bet. If you don’t fuck her by 5, it’s my turn.”

“Yea, whatever. She’ll be begging for me to let her come by 4:30. Find your own.”

I hear commotion coming from their table and I can only assume it’s this Zach guy getting up to approach Laura. Before I can even register what I’m doing, I’m on my feet and stepping in his path, pushing him backward with an angry shove.

“What the fuck?” he asked.

“Maybe _you_ need to find your own,” I spat. “That girl you and your boys have been disrespecting is my girlfriend and you need to back the fuck off.”

“You mean to tell me that hot piece of ass in the white bikini is a dyke?”

It literally takes every ounce of control I have left in me to not break his face in. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before continuing.

“I mean to tell you that she is with me and has no desire to be with you. She’s sure as hell not going to beg for it you disgusting, worthless, misogynistic piece of shit.”

“Carm, what’s going on?” I hear Laura say from behind me.

“Let’s find out what she really wants,” he says.

“Who are you? What are you even talking about?” Laura asks, rightfully confused.

“I want to know if you’re ready to leave this bitch and get fucked like you really deserve to be.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I scream.

“Honey you know I can give you what she can’t. No matter how many toys she has she can never give you this good dick.”

I hear Laura gasp and step behind me in shock. This fucker has just gone way too far. My hands were already balled into fists so the effort it took me to pull back and launch my right hand forward into his eye was very minimal. The force of my punch knocked him on his ass. Before he had the chance to get up, I stepped down on his chest, making it hard to breathe before I laid it out for him.

“Listen to me you little shit. There will never be another day that you will speak to a woman without thinking of me. Not because you think I’m attractive or you think my girlfriend is attractive and you think we need that ‘good dick,’ which I’m sure you don’t even have. You will think of me because you’re going to spend the rest of your life fearing me. You’re going to second guess every word that comes out of your mouth, being extra careful to not offend another woman as long as you live. Because if you do, you need to understand that I will fucking come after you. I will ruin your entire life just like all the men on this earth that ruined a woman’s life without even a thought about it. Men like you are plague to this earth and give a bad name to the good ones left out there. Now, stand up.”

He doesn’t move so I kick him in the ribs.

“Stand up you piece of shit!” I scream. He stands up quickly.

“Say you’re sorry to my girl,” I state calmly and wrap my arm around Laura.

He mumbles under his breath and I swear I’m really going to lose it.

“Speak loud enough for her to hear you. You have no problem being a disgusting pig at full volume, why can’t you do this?” I say.

“Look, I’m sorry. To both of you.”

“Are you ever going to do this to another woman again?” Laura asked.

“No, I’m sorry,” he says and looks down.

“Good, now go run and tell your friends what happened. Good luck explaining to them how you got your ass kicked,” I say, grabbing Laura’s hand and walked toward the hotel.

As we’re walking away, Laura squeezed my hand harder and asked “what the hell just happened?”

“I just heard them saying some terrible things about you and I couldn’t stop myself. I had to protect you,” I admit.

“What were they saying?” she asked as we’re walking through the doors of the hotel.

“It’s not important. Just know that they were disgusting and I couldn’t take it. I’m sorry that I caused such a scene.”

“Everyone around us was laughing from what I could see. It looks like those guys have been tormenting girls all over the hotel since they’ve been here,” she says.

I couldn’t help but sigh in relief once the doors to the elevator closed behind us. I don’t know why I lost my cool back there and I’m pretty nervous about it. If they call the cops, all the plans for tomorrow go out the window. Will Laura want to marry me after I’ve been arrested?

“Carm, what’s wrong?”

“What if they call the cops, Laura?”

“I honestly don’t think we have to worry about that.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I think that guy is so embarrassed to have had his ass handed to him by a girl there’s no way in hell he’s going to tell anyone else. Also, judging by the actual round of applause that came from some of the hotel guests, everyone was happy you did it. Everything’s going to be fine, Carm. Let’s go to the room, take a quick shower and then how about a nap before dinner?” Laura asks and wraps her arms around my waist for a hug.

“That sounds perfect, Cupcake. Let’s go.”

The elevator doors open and we head back to the room. We go directly into the bathroom after dropping our things on the bed take a much longer shower than either of us expected to. I just didn’t want to let go of her and neither did she. The shower in our room isn’t exactly in our room. When you go into the bathroom, there is a door leading outside to an open room containing the shower. I’m standing under the water, holding her closely while brushing wet hair away from her face when she leans in for what might be the softest kiss she’s ever given me.

“What was that for?” I ask.

“I just really love you and I find new reasons to love you more every day. Thank you for always protecting me. I only feel safe when I’m with you,” she says and kisses me again.

We stay in there for a while longer, taking our time to wash every inch of each other’s skin carefully, both of us still afraid to hurt the other. We still have some things to work out but we can do it together. I finally convince Laura to get out of the shower and climb into bed with me. While I would love nothing more than to fall asleep in her arms right now, I have to stay awake because I have a few people to go meet with while Laura sleeps.

Laura is curled into my side, her arm thrown over my chest while I gently rub her back. Our breathing is perfectly synchronized; when she inhales, I exhale. We don’t need to talk in moments like this because every touch and every light kiss communicates everything we want to say. I feel her take a deep breath and sink further into me and I know that’s my cue. Laura has finally fallen asleep so a stay a few more minutes to ensure she stays that way before scribbling a quick note and leaving it on the dresser before running out to meet Danny.

* * *

 

 **Me:** Laura’s finally asleep get downstairs quick. Meet you in the bar.

 **Danny:** Be there in 5.

I get downstairs after some stealth maneuvers to get out of the room unnoticed. Laura is a pretty light sleeper so I don’t know how I pulled that off. I sit at the hotel bar and order a beer. The butterflies have gone into complete overdrive. I’m sure she loves me but I’m still getting so nervous. I pick my phone back up send a quick text to Will.

 **Me:** Hey bro, come downstairs and bring the ring please. I don’t have very long before I have to be back.

 **William:** Be there asap

I pull up one more draft, and I’m honestly scared to send it. I just don’t know how to even have this conversation but I owe it to Laura to try.

 **Me:** Hello sir, I’m down in the hotel bar and I would like to speak with you if you have time.

 **(863) 510-8807:** Be right there

I set my phone down and try to swallow my anxiety before it eats me alive. I’m not usually this way with people but this time honestly scares me to death. What if he doesn’t like me? Everything will change and I can’t handle it. He wouldn’t have come all this way for nothing, right?

I see Will and Danny through the corner of my eye as I’m finishing my beer in a huge gulp.

“Getting cold feet, Karnstein?” Danny laughs.

“Hell no, I’ve never more sure about anything in my life. I’m just nervous about something else. I’m fine. Do you have it, Will?” I ask.

He reaches in his pocket, pulling out a little black box and hands it to me. “Here it is. Exactly the way you wanted it.”

I open the box to find the ring I picked out for her. A two carat diamond, set in an elegant platinum band with the inscription on the inside.

“It’s perfect, thanks Will. Is everyone here?” I ask when pulling back from hugging my brother.

“Yep, everyone’s here already. I’ve been doing my best to keep everyone out of sight so Laura won’t know anything’s up,” Danny answers.

“Good, you guys remember the plan right?”

“Kitty, you practically sent us a detailed itinerary of tomorrow’s plans so I’m pretty sure we’re all good,” Will says.

“Good. This has to be perfect so make sure everyone’s there on time. I want you there waiting for us.”

“We will, I promise. You going back upstairs now?” Danny asks.

“Not yet, I have one more person I have to talk to,” I say the moment I see him.

Will and Danny both turn at the same time to see a very tall, stocky man approaching us and they look at me with a ‘good luck’ expression before turning to leave.

“Text me if you need anything?” Will asks.

“Will do, thanks again bro.”

I stand up to greet this man as he walks up to me. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I think I might throw up. I usually don’t care if people like me, but he has to. I have to make sure he does for Laura.

“Hello, Mr. Hollis. Thank you for coming,” I say as I extend my trembling hand to shake his.

He curls up one side of his lips into a guarded smile and shakes my hand.

“Hello, Carmilla. Thank you for calling me. I’ve heard so many things about you I was wondering when I was going to meet the woman my little girl has been dating.”

“Please, sit. Would you like a drink?” I ask through a shy smile.

“Please. I’ll take whatever you’re having,” he says.

I order us a couple of beers before turning back to him. I just need to get this over with.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I called you in the middle of the night, asked you to drop everything and fly to another country for a few days,” I say.

“The thought crossed my mind but I have a few ideas,” he says before smiling widely and taking a sip of the beer set in front of him. He and Laura have the same smile and I feel oddly comforted by his presence.

“Well, I want to talk to you about your daughter.”

“I figured as much. She calls me once a week and I swear you’re the only thing she talks about anymore.”

I almost choke on my beer before turning to him in surprise. “I had no idea. I’m sure she’s told you all the terrible things about me.”

“Yes, she has.”

I swear to god I almost fell off that bar stool and died right there. He hates me. If Laura’s dad won’t approve then I can never ask her. My life is over. I can’t find any words to respond to him so he just continues for me.

“She’s told me all about you, Carmilla. About how messy you are, how you hate to cook but only will if you’re hungry enough and leaving your mess for my baby girl to clean up. She’s told me about how lazy you are, only getting up to do something if you absolutely have to and how it drives Laura crazy.”

I’m looking at him as though he’s crushed my entire world. Here’s the one man that holds the rest of my life in his hands and he’s tearing me apart. He doesn’t think I’m good enough for his daughter. I’m so going to puke.

“But she’s also told me everything else about you. Laura has told me how caring and compassionate you are, not only towards her but also toward your students, friends and family. She told me about how intelligent you are; how you inspire my Laura to become a better person. She told me about how much you love her. Since her mother died, I think she has felt like something was missing inside of her but whatever that was is now fulfilled because she has you. She told me about everything that happened with your mother; how you protected her time and time again, ultimately saving her life while risking your own in the process.”

“I don’t know what to say, sir. I had no idea she’s been saying those things. I had this whole speech worked up in my head and now I’m lost.”

“Just say what you brought me here to say, Carmilla.”

“Well, I know I should have introduced myself to you earlier and I’m sorry about that. It’s just that every minute since I met your daughter I can’t seem to tear myself away from her. You know what I mean when she just draws you toward her.” He nods lightly before taking another sip of his beer. “She’s the only source of light in the darkness that has been my life, sir. I wanted to bring you here because I need to ask you something.”

“Go on with it,” he says.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for her but I want to spend the rest of my life trying. If you approve, I want to ask her to marry me tomorrow and I want you to be there with our friends to celebrate afterward.”

He’s just sitting there staring at me, not saying a word. He picks up his beer, pulls at the label a bit before sticking it back on and taking a long gulp.

“I understand now,” he states.

“What?” I ask.

“Why Laura loves you as much as she does.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“She told me about everything you did for her. How you actually died on the operating table because you begged your mother to stab you first so that she wouldn’t hurt Laura, effectively saving her life. As her father, there is not enough in this world I could ever do to thank you for that. The fact that you still don’t think you’re good enough for her after that tells me that you’ll never give up on loving her. I want my daughter to be with someone who will love and protect her long after I’m gone and that person is you, Carmilla. I knew what you brought me here for even before I got on the plane and was going to say yes. I just wanted to hear it from you.”

“So… I can ask her?” I ask through teary eyes.

“Yes, welcome to the family, Carmilla. I’m glad Laura picked you,” he says and pulls me in for a hug. I hugged him back and began to cry harder. I was just so afraid he would say no that I’m just so overwhelmed that my tough image is long gone.

He pulls back and sits back down before motioning to the bartender for another drink. I wipe my eyes quickly and take a few shaky breaths to calm myself.

“Now, I have the plans of where I’m supposed to meet your friends tomorrow. You better get back to Laura before she realizes what’s happened. Text me if you need anything at all. I’m here for you now, too you know,” he says.

“Thank you, Mr. Hollis. I promise I’ll make her happy.”

“You already have,” he says before hugging me one more time and sending me on my way.

All the pieces are in place and now my plan is bound to go perfectly. All I have to do is act totally normal so Laura won’t suspect anything. I hope I can pull this off.

* * *

 

**Laura**

I woke up around six and I feel terrible because I slept way longer than I should have. I think the sun this morning zapped all the energy out of me. I roll over, expecting to find Carm in bed next to me but she’s not there. I stretch and get up, thinking she may be in the bathroom but she’s not in there either. I’m walking back to sit on the bed, a bit confused until I find a note propped up on the dresser.

_Cupcake,_

_You were sleeping so peacefully I couldn’t wake you. I went to get us a few things and I’ll be back soon. Stay here and get some rest. Call me if you need anything._

_Love you,_

_Carm_

I can’t help but smile as I lay back down on the bed, clutching the note close to my chest. It’s the little gestures like this that remind me of why I fell in love with her. She is so considerate, always worrying about if I’ll worry about her if she has to go anywhere. I close my eyes to daydream about what we’re going to do the rest of the time we’re in Puerto Rico when I hear the door opening and closing quietly. I keep my eyes closed, to pretend like I’m sleeping so I can surprise her.

I hear her kick her shoes off by the door and put her key in the dresser drawer before walking into the main room and stopping suddenly. I hear her take a deep breath and walk around the other side of the bed to climb in behind me. She wraps her arm around me, pulling herself flush against my back and I instinctively melt into her. She sighs and kisses my bare shoulder, lacing her fingers with mine while pulling me even closer. I can’t take it anymore.

I flip over, probably scaring her a bit as I cup her cheek to pull her in for a kiss. After the initial shock wears off, she grabs my hips to pull me on top of her and deepens the kiss. I sit up a bit, letting my hair fall down around her and all I can do is smile down at the beautiful woman underneath me.

“What was that for?” she asks, laughing lightly.

“I missed you,” I say and kiss her chastely.

“I wasn’t gone very long, cutie.”

“Doesn’t matter. You were gone when I woke up and you know I hate that.”

She runs her hands up my sides, under my arms and up to grab my face and drags me down into a passionate kiss. She’s kissing me like I’ve wanted to be kissed my entire life. You know, the kiss that every young girl dreams about. She’s holding me tightly against her, fingers traveling into my hair to keep me anchored to her, not that I would want to ever go anywhere else. Our mouths fit perfectly together, moving in unison to elicit gasps and moans from the other.

She rolls us over so that she’s on top, lightly brushing my hair back behind my ear so she can see me.

“I love you so much. You know that, right? She says, trailing her thumb along my cheek bone.

“Yes, I do. I love you too, Carm. So much,” I say and pull her down into another kiss.

We had reservations for dinner tonight at this fancy seafood restaurant that everyone keeps recommending, but we never made it. With Carm kissing me like that in this comfortable bed, I never had a chance. We spent the rest of the night making love until our bodies were spent so we had no choice but to order room service. Apparently we’re going snorkeling tomorrow and Carm says I need to be well rested and well-nourished for this trip. I’m not sure what all she has planned, but I hope it’s good.

We fell asleep hours later, wrapped up in each other and excited for the rest of our vacation. I can’t wait.

* * *

 

I wake up the next day around nine to find Carmilla already up, showered and dressed and I swear that hell must have frozen over. I never thought I would see the day when Carmilla would be a morning person.

“Good morning, Cupcake. Want some coffee? I ordered some a while ago and it should be here soon,” she says.

“What on earth has you up and so chipper this early in the morning?” I ask and pull the sheets back up to my chest.

She sits down beside me on the bed, brushing my hair back before trailing her fingers across my collarbone and down my chest to pull the sheets back down a bit. She opens her mouth to say something, but opts to lay down and put her head on my chest instead. I wrap my arms around her and hug her because for some reason I feel like she really needs it.

“I’m just excited is all. You should get up so we don’t miss the boat,” she whispers onto my skin in between kisses to my neck.

“Fine, but you owe me. Getting me out of bed this early on vacation.”

“Trust me, Cupcake. I’ll pay you back soon enough.”

I grab my clothes and head to the bathroom for a quick shower. It sounds like Carmilla is reenacting her favorite episode of American Ninja Warrior based on the amount of noise coming from the hotel room, but I’ll worry about that later. I’m out and dressed in under ten minutes and come back into the room to find Carm looking very nervous, like she’s done something wrong. She’s even sweating a bit so I know something’s going on.

“Ok, Carm. What is it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re all jumpy, looking like you just stole from the cookie jar or something.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just have a lot planned for our snorkeling adventure today and I’m afraid we’re going to miss the boat so hurry up!” she says almost an octave too high and disappears into the bathroom behind me. Something’s going on but I guess I’ll find out later.

 

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

We’re finally on the boat heading for Fajardo. I have this entire day planned out. We’re going to go island hopping for a while, finding all the best places to snorkel and hopefully make out a little bit. Around 6:00 I have some kayaks rented to explore the coast of Fajardo a bit more before the sun goes down and everything falls into place.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Laura asks.

“Well, we have a pretty packed schedule actually. Once we get to Fajardo, I rented us a little boat so we can go from island to island so we can snorkel until our heart’s content. Then we’ll the food I have packed in this basket and go kayaking at sundown. Sound good to you?” I ask.

“Sounds perfect,” Laura says as she snuggles up to me on the back of the boat. The driver smiles over at me since he knows everything that’s happening today and I don’t know how I’ll make through this entire day without giving the plan away. We pull up to the dock and unload our things before I confirm the departure plans with the boat driver. He assures me he’ll be here right at 8:00 to take us back to the party and I have to trust that he’ll come through.

We hop on our little boat and zoom around from cove to cove. Stopping any place that Laura wanted to. She looked beyond adorable in that stupid mask and she doesn’t even know it.

“I look like a dork don’t I?” she asks me, sitting on the edge of the boat with her mask on.

“Yes, you do.”

“Rude!” she says, swatting me on the shoulder.

“Hey now, I said you looked like a dork but do you now know how hot you also look right now?”

She looks at me completely confused.

“My god, Laura. You could be clothed like a nun in a convent and I would probably still find you to be sexy, but you in that bathing suit so close to me with no one around is making me want to commit some sins of my own. You can even keep the mask on if you want to.”

I grin over at her and I see her smiling as she pulls the mask off over her head, messing up her hair like I wanted to.

“I’m sure there are plenty of things we could find to do out here that would require some repentance,” Laura says as she crawls across the tiny boat to straddle my lap. She pulls my mask off the top of my head and tosses it to the floor of the boat behind her. “You never cease to amaze me.”

“I could say the same about you, Cupcake.”

She goes in for a kiss and I grab her thighs to pull her tight against me and we both moan from the contact. Before I can even get a good grip on her, her hips are grinding down into and I already feel that tight pull in my abdomen. The heat traveling from my exploding heart down to my core is enough to engulf me in the fire that is Laura Hollis. She has her hands in my hair, pulling it gently as she kisses me like I’m going to disappear if she stops.

I grab her ass and pull her down into me, making her throw her head back and moan my name and I swear it sounds delicious coming from her mouth. I kiss my way down her neck and encourage her to keep rolling her hips into me because it feels amazing. While I would normally take my time, getting her worked up to the point where she would come with one gentle rock of her hips, we don’t have time for that today so I go in for it. Her head is still thrown back when I slip my hand in between us and pull her bathing suit bottom to the side before sliding my finger from her entrance to her clit, making her body convulse to the point she almost falls off of me.

“Please, don’t stop,” she moans.

I hum in agreement before beginning the slow, tight circles with my fingers. Her hips are following my lead and there’s no way in hell I’m going to stop now. She pulls me back in for a sloppy kiss, but she can barely maintain it because she’s breathing so hard. I kiss my way back down to her neck while continuing the work with my right hand, slipping two fingers inside her when I bite down on her pulse point and she screams loud enough for everyone back on the main island to hear us. She grips onto me while she begins to ride my hand and I’m glad to give her exactly what she needs.

I flip her over so she’s hanging over the boat and I come up behind her, entering her again before she could even have the chance to miss me. From this angle I can really zero in on her g-spot and I am hitting it with everything I’ve got. She’s shouting broken versions of my name when she leans back into me, grabbing my hair as she comes all over my hand. Her legs give out, but I catch her from falling as I pull her in for a kiss and whisper a gentle “I love you” over and over again against her lips.

After another minute of being lost in bliss, I realize out boat has kind of floated away from the island and we should probably get going before we don’t have enough gas to get back.

“Come on, Cupcake. We need to get going if we’re going to get to the bay on time for kayaking.”

“Um, Carm. Where’s my top?” she asked, suddenly shy even after what we just did.

“I thought you had it. When did I even take it off?”

“I honestly have no idea,” she laughs.

“It’s not on the boat?” I ask.

“No, you didn’t throw it overboard did you?”

“I don’t think so… oh my god there it is.”

“Where?!”

“It somehow floated up to the beach but there’s people there.”

“Oh my god, Carmilla. I can’t go up there like this! Everyone’s going to know what we just did!”

“And the problem is?”

“Oh, please. You know I’m not embarrassed of you. I just don’t want anyone else but you seeing me like this and I don’t exactly like the idea of everyone on this little island knowing we just fucked.”

“Hahaha, ok calm down. I’ll be right back.”

“You’ll what?”

Before Laura even finished her response I was already in the water. It was only about 100 feet or so to the shore. I could make it there and back within a few minutes. I need this day to be perfect for Laura and honestly a swim will probably help me concentrate on the task at hand rather than all the things I want to do to her when I get back to that boat. Leave it to Laura to be so sexy it distracts me from proposing to her.

I finally make it back to the boat and Laura helps me get back in because my arms are pretty tired, but for good reason. She puts her top back on and we head for Bio Bay for what she thinks will be kayaking then going back to the hotel.

“Hey, I never got to uh… return the favor…” Laura shyly admits.

“Oh, there will be plenty of time for that later, sweetheart. Trust me.” I say and pull her onto my lap as I navigate this little boat toward out destination.

We pull up to the dock shortly after six and the rental people are there waiting for us. I grab our bag and help Laura out of the boat and onto the dock.

“So, what is this place?” Laura asked.

“This is what they call a bioluminescent bay. At night, any water that is disturbed by either people or fish glows the most brilliant blue and I really wanted you to see it. We have a little time before the sun goes down so I figured we could just paddle around a bit,” I say.

“This is amazing, Carm. I have had the best time with you this week. I can’t believe that we have to leave tomorrow,” she says and kisses my shoulder before grabbing my hand.

“Me neither, Cupcake. Me neither,” I say, walking her over toward the kayaks. “Hey, I’m going to hit the bathroom real quick before we go. Don’t go anywhere without me,” I say.

“Never,” she says and kisses me lightly on the lips before I turn toward the rental shack. I ask the lady behind the counter to hold onto our things while we’re gone and she agrees after I let her in on what I’m planning. I reach in the back to pull out the ring and tuck it under my life jacket and tighten the straps so it won’t go anywhere before running back to Laura.

“Where’s our stuff?” she asked.

“That nice lady over offered to hold onto it so we wouldn’t have to worry while we’re on the water.”

“Wow that was very nice of her. Let’s go before it gets dark!” Laura squeals.

I check again to make sure the ring box is still safe under my life jacket before climbing into the kayak. I’ve never used one of these things before and I swear if I fall out of it I’m going to lose my shit. The last thing I want is to propose to Laura looking like a wet rat.

We paddle around for a while and to be honest I’m not saying very much. Laura is pointing out all the fish and other wildlife around us and I can’t come up with a response most of the time because I’m so wrapped up in my head. This is about to happen. I’m laying all my cards on the table here and if she says no I don’t know what I’m going to do. Get it together and just act smooth, Karnstein. Keep your cool.

 

* * *

 

**Laura**

The sun is almost down and Carm is acting more strange with every passing minute. She’s been really quiet with the exception of answering direct questions and laughing at things that aren’t really that funny. It’s like her mind is somewhere else completely. I hope I didn’t say anything to make her retreat into herself like this. This is her vacation too and I just want her to have a good time. We paddle over to the shore under some trees and I can’t hold it in anymore.

“Carmilla, are you ok?”

“Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be?” she asks nervously.

“You’ve just been acting kind of weird since yesterday. Did I say something to make you upset or something?” I ask.

“No, not at all. I’m sorry. I’ve just got a lot going on in my head right now and I guess I’ve been a bit distracted. Do you mind if we rest a bit before we paddle back to the rental place?” she asks.

“Of course, is there anything I could do?”

“Just be here with me and maybe rub my shoulders?” she asks with a huge smile on her face.

“After what you did in that boat, rubbing your shoulders is the least I could do.”

She turns away from me to take her life jacket off and sits down facing the water and I sit behind her, wrapping my legs around her and start rubbing her neck.

“What has you all distracted? Anything I should know about?” I ask.

“Nothing you won’t find out on your own. I promise everything is fine, Laura. Trust me?” she asks.

“With my life,” I answer without any hesitation.

She leans back into me and I hold her closely while we watch the sun drop below the horizon. I never imagined my life being this perfect, but here I am holding this gorgeous woman in this tropical paradise and I have never been so in love. I know Carm loves me too, but sometimes she’s so hard to read. I never really know what she’s thinking deep down and I just hope she’s in this as much as I am. We haven’t been together all that long and I know she loves me, but sometimes I just doubt myself. How could someone like her love me? I wonder that every day.

“Well, are you ready to head back soon? The water should come to life once we put our kayaks back in the water and I really want you to see it,” she says.

“Sounds perfect,” I say before kissing her on the neck and helping her up. I know she’s trying to be strong and act like she’s not in pain but she might have overdone it today. I need to get her back to the hotel so we can rest before we have to get on the plane tomorrow.

We walk hand in hand over to our kayaks and as soon as I push mine in the water it starts glowing like the water made of the stuff inside a blue glow stick. I have never seen anything in nature glow so brightly and I’m blown away to say the least.

“Carmilla, it’s so beautiful!” I shout.

“It really is, Cupcake.”

I look over to her to find her staring into me and I have a feeling she wasn’t talking about the water. I walk over to kiss her one last time before we get in the water.

We’re paddling back toward the other side of the bay ad I can’t stop looking around into the water. Every time my paddle hits the water, or a fish swims by, the water is illuminated and pretty soon the water all around us is this vibrant electric blue and I have to stop for a minute so I can remember this moment forever. This entire trip has been amazing but I think this has been my favorite part. Carm knows me so well. She knew I would love it here and I’m just so thankful she brought me here. Between the full moon, the billions of stars blanketing the clear sky, and the water glowing so brightly, lighting up Carm’s beautiful face I don’t know how things could get any more perfect.

She paddles her kayak over next to mine so that we’re right next to each other but she’s facing me. She grabs onto mine so we don’t drift apart before looking up toward the sky. We’re quiet for minute for a minute before I finally speak up.

“What?” I ask because I honestly have no idea what she’s thinking.

“You know I’ve always liked the stars right?” she asked.

“Yea, I know.”

“I’ve always found comfort in them. Knowing how small we are; all the lives we’re lead, people we’ve been is nothing to that light.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“It’s just that everything has changed for me since I met you. I remember the first time I saw you. You walked into that office and you looked so scared, like your life depended on that job and it took everything I had to not run over there and introduce myself to you. I had to maintain my indifferent attitude so I stayed by that copy machine and watched you from afar as you stumbled over your words introducing yourself to Betty. When you noticed me I’m pretty sure your jaw hit Betty’s desk and I had to turn around so you wouldn’t see me laughing. You were so cute and I knew even then that you had to be mine.”

“I didn’t even know you noticed me before I crashed into you.”

“How could anyone not notice you, Laura? You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and the depths of your beauty are endless. Every moment I spend with you brings me further back to life after my mother did everything in her power to destroy mine. I find comfort in the stars for a different reason now and it’s because of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that no matter how many stars are in the sky or how brightly the moon shines down on us, nothing will ever compare to you. There is nothing that this world could come up with that would ever be more beautiful than you. I used to feel like nothing compared to the eternity of the universe, but with you by my side our love will outlast anything. You have made happier than I ever thought I deserved and I don’t know how I could ever thank you.”

“Carm, you don’t have to thank me. I love you and our happiness is just what happens when two people are in love.”

She smiles at me but looks over at my shoulder at something. I turn around to see what she’s looking at when I hear her messing with her life jacket and I turn back around.

“So, just how much do you love me exactly?” she asks.

“More than I ever thought I could love someone honestly. What is this all about? You don’t normally talk about your feelings, you just show me,” I say and wink at her.

“Well, I love you too. A lot. I love you more than I love myself and there’s just not enough time to show you so I have an idea.”

“What?” I say, smiling like an idiot. I don’t know what she’s thinking but I have an idea I’m going to like it.

“Close your eyes.”

“What? Why?”

“Just trust me,” she says before leaning over for a kiss.

I kiss her back with everything I have and just keep my eyes closed. I’m nervous because it’s dark and we’re not exactly on dry land and I don’t know what she’s doing.

“Keep them closed. Now, I told you how much I love you and how thankful I am that you’re in my life.” I nod for her to continue. “I would really like to spend the rest of my life trying to thank you for loving me if you’ll have me.”

My eyes fly open so fast I feel like my head is spinning. I look at her to find her face, glowing the most brilliant shade of blue as she’s smiling at me like she has forever in her hands. When I look down I realize that she does. Oh my god she’s holding a jewelry box. This can’t be. No way.

“Is that what I think,” I gasp.

“Yes,” she breathes and opens the box to reveal the most beautiful engagement ring I’ve ever seen. The light from the glowing water is bouncing off each cut of the diamond and reflecting back onto Carm’s beautiful eyes and I can’t breathe. “Laura, I know I’ve put you through hell since we met. Everything my mother did should have been reason enough for you to run from me ten times over but for some reason you didn’t. I knew I was in love with you since that night I brought pasta over your house and surprised you. You were so beautiful in your shorts, tank top and hair pulled up that I knew I had to have you. All those times you saved me from my mother and myself just reaffirmed in my mind that I’m in this forever. Laura Hollis, will you marry me?” she asks pulling the ring out of the box and grabbing my left hand. She’s crying and I am too.

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you are you kidding me?!” I say and I almost send us rolling into the water when I lunge forward to kiss her.

“Thank god, I would have been so embarrassed if you said no,” Carm laughs.

“Why would you ever think I would say no?” I ask.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just that nothing has ever really gone right for me before… before I met you.”

“Well everything is different now so you can relax. There is nothing in this world that will stop me from marrying you. Got it?” I say.

“Got it,” she says as she leans in for another kiss and moves to put the ring on my finger.

“Hold on, what does that say?”

“Oh I almost forgot, I had something engraved in the ring,” she says and hands it to me.

I turn it toward the water so I can read what it says. When I can make out the words “ _You save me,”_ I can’t find the right words to say so I put the ring on my finger and pull her in for another kiss. The first kiss of the rest of our lives together.

We stay there for as long as we can, kissing each other and just prolonging the best moment of our lives before it gets too late and we have to go back to catch our boat back to the main island. When we get up to the beach, we’re greeted by the entire staff of the rental company clapping and cheering for some reason.

“What is going on?” I ask Carm.

“Yea, they kind of knew what was going to happen so this is kind of for us.”

I help Carm out of her kayak since she’s really sore after such a long day and pull her in for another amazing kiss to give these people the show they’ve been waiting for. They probably see people getting engaged all the time but they seem genuinely happy for us and I’m just so happy I can’t help it.

After collecting our things, we’re back on the boat heading to San Juan and I have never been more content in my life. Here I am in the arms of my amazing girlfr… fiancé and I am just overflowing with excitement. I can’t wait to get back home and tell everyone. They’re all going to be so happy for us.

She’s holding me close and running her fingers through my hair when we round the coast and see the dock where we’re going to land. It’s really boring during the day, but the strings of colorful lights running up and down the side of the dock are really pretty. There’s a ton of people hanging out there, I just hope they don’t get in the way of me getting Carm back to our room so I can properly thank her.

“What’s going on up there? There’s so many people on the dock. It was empty when we left,” I say.

“Not sure, Cupcake. I guess we’ll see when we get up there,” she says and kisses the top of my head.

We pull up to the dock a few minutes later and I hear people laughing and music playing like there’s a party going on.

“Who on earth is having a party out here? Of all the places in Puerto Rico to throw a party, they choose this specific dock?” I say.

“Well, maybe they have something very specific to celebrate,” Carm says and looks down to me with a raised eyebrow.

“You didn’t,” I say and sit back.

“I did.”

I sit up and practically run off the boat, never letting go of Carm’s hand. I drag her up the stairs to find everyone there waiting for us. I’m frozen in time, staring at everyone important to us laughing and having a good time. They’re all here for Carm and I and I just feel so lucky. I feel Carm wrap her arms around me from behind and she whispers “surprise” in my ear.

I turn and wrap my arms around her neck to kiss her for the probably the millionth time today and whisper “I love you” against her lips before I hear a familiar voice from behind me.

“Laura?” he asks.

I turn around to find my dad standing there and I run into his arms. He hugs me so tightly before pulling back and saying “congratulations, sweetheart.”

“You knew?” I ask.

“Yes. Carmilla called me last week asked me to come here. I didn’t know exactly what she was planning but I had an idea. When we talked last night I knew she was the one for you, Laura. I can tell by the way you talk about her that you love her. I just hope she makes you as happy as your mother made me.”

“She does, I promise. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” I say and hug him again. I can’t believe he’s here. I can’t believe Carmilla pulled all this off without me knowing. I guess I have a lot to thank her for too. It’s a good thing we have forever.

After talking with my dad for a minute, I take Carmilla’s hand to walk over and join the party. Everyone’s here. LaF and Perry are ecstatic to find out they won’t be the only married couple in the group, Danny is so happy her friend finally someone that will “make her less grumpy” and Will and Kirsch are just so proud of Carm for having the guts to do it.

We stay at the party for an hour or so before we have to go back to the room. Now that I understand everything that’s happened over the last week, I know why Carmilla is so exhausted and I just want to get her to bed. We make plans to have brunch with everyone in the morning before we all head to the airport and catch a taxi back to the hotel.

We’re in the back of the taxi, sitting in a comfortable silence. Carmilla is holding onto my hand, playing gently with the ring and kissing my shoulder softly. My god I love her so much I wish we could just stay in this vacation life and not have to go back tomorrow.

“Do we really have to go back tomorrow?” I ask, sighing and sinking deeper into Carm.

“Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you with everything going on. We’re not leaving until Sunday. I hope that’s ok. I just figured you wouldn’t want to leave so soon after getting engaged. We’ll celebrate a bit with our friends and family tomorrow but then I want my fiancé all to myself before I have to take you back home.”

“Are you kidding, of course it’s ok! You’re so perfect and I can’t believe that I’ll get to call you my wife one day,” I say.

“Let’s make that sooner rather than later,” she says and pulls me back into her side.

We get back to the hotel around twenty minutes later and I pay the driver before taking Carmilla upstairs. I have every intention of showing her just how much I want to marry her after we’ve both rested a bit. This has been the best day of my life and I can guarantee you it’s not over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it is. Hollstein is engaged. Now we have two weddings to look forward to as well as their return to work. Thank you all for sticking with me through this story. Every single comment I receive on here and on my tumblr makes more happy than you could imagine. You all mean the world to me. Thank you.


	19. What a Mess I'm Making

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla get shoved back into life and finally give therapy a try, but what are the consequences?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, my deepest apologies for taking 84 years to update. I have not been in a place that I could write or do anything creative for that matter, but I have been fighting every day to get better. Writing this took a lot for me and is a big step in me claiming my own life back. 
> 
> By the way, details in this chapter may trigger some people so please be careful if you have ever suffered depression or thoughts of death. I want you all to be safe so please be careful and know that people love you.

**Laura**

_One Month Later_

 “It seems to me that you’re both terrified that something bad will happen to the other. Am I correct here?” Dr. Huang asked.

“Yes, at least for me,” I answered.

“And you, Carmilla?” Dr. Huang asked.

“Same,” Carm said.

“With a couple as deeply attached as the two of you are, it’s not surprising that you would develop these feeling after the terrible trauma you went through. I know it’s been difficult for both of you since Laura went back to work, but we’ll continue to explore ways of coping with being apart. You’re both doing very well considering what you’ve been through and you should be proud of that, but there is still work to be done. Agreed?” Dr. Huang said.

“Agreed,” I say and Carm just nods.

“Good, I definitely want to keep seeing you together but I feel it’s imperative that I start seeing you separately as well. The only way we can really dissect your trauma and start to cope with your PTSD is if I can get the unhindered truth from you both.”

“More money for you. Right, doc?” Carm spat.

“Carmilla!” I say.

“That’s not my aim here, Carmilla and I think you already know that. This is exactly why I want to see you separately. I want you to be able to let all that fear and anger out without possibly hurting the other. If it’s a hard no then I will understand and try my best to help you in these couple sessions, but I truly believe that you will benefit from separate sessions. Talk it over and let me know next week?” Dr. Huang asked.

“Yes, we’ll talk it over and see you next week. We’ll make an appointment with Amanda on the way out. Thank you for everything Dr. Huang, we really appreciate it,” I say.

“It’s my pleasure as always. Take care until then,” he says and opens the door into the waiting room.

Carm and I stop by the reception desk to make an appointment with Ms. Rollins and are out the door in minutes.

“Carm, can I ask you something?”

“What’s up, cupcake?” she says, opening the car door for me. I wait for her to walk around the car and hop in the driver’s seat before continuing.

“Why do you always give Dr. Huang such a hard time? I mean, he’s such a nice man and he’s really helpful. If you just-“

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that I was dragged to so many therapists over my childhood by mother and forced to take pill after pill, just so I would magically transform into the perfect daughter she always wanted. I’m just having a hard time trusting him. I know he’s different. He’s not going along with mother’s sick agenda but part of me still believes everyone’s working for her and they’re all out to get me. I know it may not seem like it, but I’m really trying.”

I reach over, grab her hand to pull it into my lap and hold it tightly with both hands. I see her shoulders fall a bit and she takes a deep breath for the first time since before we went into the office.

“Maybe those separate sessions will help? You could talk to him about these things. He really wants to help you, Carm.”

“I know, but I don’t want to think about that right now. It’s too late for you to go back to school so I want to take my fiancé out to a nice lunch and then back home where no one can bother us. We can talk about this therapy stuff later. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” I say and lean over the console for a kiss.

* * *

 

We have been living in this sense of delusional bliss since the cabin, and while I’ve been enjoying this pre-wedding honeymoon style living I’m starting to realize that life is dragging us back kicking and screaming and I think we both need to wake up from this dream world and deal with our issues. I need to find a way to talk to Carm about this but I don’t know how to and it scares me because I want to be able to tell her everything. I just don’t want to hurt her. So much has happened to her and all the recent events that have taken place are weighing on her even more and I don’t know how much she can take. I only want to do what’s best for her because I love her more than ever and I just want for her to feel safe and loved.

Lunch was great and now Carm is napping on the couch as I tiptoe around her trying to clean up the house and not wake her up. Tonight I’m going to try to bring up the separate sessions again because I know they would help me and I really think they will help her too. I want to ask Dr. Huang what I can do to help her get through this nightmare she’s living in. I don’t want to feel afraid anymore and I feel like he can really help me with that.

I move from the living room into the kitchen and begin to empty the dishwasher. Looking over my shoulder I see that Carm is still sleeping, most likely dreaming of nonsense situations her brain constructs to distract her from her reality. Some of the dreams she tells me about in the middle of the night are downright hilarious and strange, but I think it helps her to talk them out with me so she can try to understand what they mean. She’s not kicking her feet so I don’t think she’s having a nightmare but I’ll keep an eye on her life I always do because I know her dreams can turn dark in no time at all.

I grab a huge stack of plates and turn to the cupboard to put them away. I’m stretching my arm as far as it will go to put away the last plate when I feel arms wrapping around me and Carm is pulling herself against me; I instantly melt.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” I say.

“Don’t be, sweetheart. I missed you anyway.”

“Bad dream?”

“Terrifying actually.”

I turn around to wrap my arms around her neck and pull her into a tight hug. I feel her body slump against mine and she is pulling me even closer.

“Want to talk about it?” I ask, pulling back so I can see her eyes.

“Not really, but I probably should.”

“Only if you think it will help you. You don’t have to, Carm but I’m here to help if you need me.”

“I know, and I love you for it and so many other reasons. That’s why this particular dream is hard for me to talk about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ok, well I’ll just tell you. I’ve had this dream a few times since the cabin and I’m so fucking angry that my mind would even go here; even in my subconscious.”

I take her hand and lead her into the living room so we can sit. She’s facing the tv and I have my body turned toward her with one arm draped over the back of the couch behind her and the other hand in one of hers. “Carm, you can tell me. It’s going to be ok. I’m still going to love you I promise.”

“In my dream I was living in this stupid world where I listened to everything mother ever told me. I was finally her perfect little girl. I never got in any trouble, so Will got all the punishment. I listened to all her professional advice and went into school administration so that means I never met you, Laura. I end up working at a different school and I never meet you. Even though mother finally approved of me in my dream I’m still dead inside because of what was happening to Will and not having you. I was so alone before I met you and to dream an entire life without you is worse than any other nightmare my mind could conjure up. Please don’t leave me, I can’t”

“Carmilla.”

“What?”

“I have told you at least a million times that I’m not leaving you. What is it going to take for you to believe me? I want you to be my wife. That’s forever. So no matter what dreams your brain invents next to make you scared, know what I’m going to be right here when you wake up to help you through it. That dream was not real. You did meet me and we fell in love. You have given me the kind of unconditional love that people spend their entire lives searching for. We have the kind of love that people dream of and we can’t let go of it no matter what. Do you trust me?”

“I trust you with my life, Laura.”

“Good. Then trust that everything is going to be ok. You just have to keep opening up like you just did. I know you’ve spent your entire life protecting yourself from everything and everyone and that’s not fair to you. You’ve put up these impenetrable walls around your heart and I understand why you had to. But what I want you to understand is that you’re safe now. If you’re ever going to move past everything that’s happened then you need to begin to take those walls down. I know it hurts, but she’s gone and can’t hurt you anymore. You’re here with me and you’re ok. I want you to be free to live again so it’s time to stop hiding from the life you could have. I love you and I’m so proud of you. Will you continue to fight with me? I’ll be right by your side.”

“I don’t know how to, Laura. I really don’t.”

“I don’t either to be honest, but we can figure it out. Just keep talking, Carm. To me, to Dr. Huang, to your brother, you just need to talk it out. Don’t you agree?”

“I guess so, I’ve just never really been one to talk about my feelings. I guess it’s because I’ve never really had a reason to fight before. You may not want to hear this but there is something I used to do that would help me cope and it’s not exactly healthy.”

“You can tell me,” I say and move closer to her.

“Back when things were really bad and way before I met you, I would imagine my own death as a way to escape the pressure of reality. Like, I would imagine getting into car accidents, getting robbed and shot by the guy, mother finally snapping and shooting me or me killing myself. I know it’s crazy because I never really felt like I was going to actually get up and kill myself but the thought of dying and finally escaping the hell I was living in was comforting to me.”

I start to cry and I see Carm’s face fall as she begins to cry.

“But Laura you have to understand that you have given me a reason to want to live. Loving you is the greatest thing I have ever done and I will do anything to have even just one more day with you.”

“Carmilla, I’m so sorry you ever felt like that. I’m so angry that she made you live in a world where death seemed like a better option. I hate her and I’m sorry that I feel that way but I just can’t help it. I hate that she did this to you because you are the most beautiful person I have ever known and it’s like she spent every waking moment trying to destroy that. But please understand that she didn’t win. You’re still here and you have so many reasons to live. I know you love me and want to fight for me and believe me when I say that I feel the same way, but you have to want to live for yourself too, Carm. I love you for who you are and you need to work through your pain to get back to a place where you can love yourself too. Instead of living for me, you need to wake up with the intention of living for both of us because you deserve the world too.”

“I wish I could say I believe that right now but I can’t. It’s going to take time to overcome a lifetime of self-hatred.”

“I know, and I’m here to help you through it if you’ll let me.”

“I know. I love you, Laura. So much.”

“I love you too, Carm.”

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

We spend the next few hours on the couch watching reruns of American Dad and Modern Family. We both had things we probably should have been doing but would rather stay there wrapped in each other’s arms. Lying on the couch with Laura pressed against my chest is just about the only time my brain will actually stop torturing me from the inside out. When I’m with Laura like this I feel so safe and at peace I can finally relax and feel normal, even for just a while. Rubbing her back gently as she giggles against me is everything I want in my life right now and I can’t believe this is real sometimes. This beautiful woman hasn’t given up on me yet and still wants to be my wife.

She lifts her head up, wraps her arms tighter around me so she can pull herself closer to me before kissing me and sitting up slightly.

“What do you want for dinner?” she asks.

“Hmm, I don’t know. What do you want?”

She smiles and I swear to god I’m falling apart right here.

“Pizza!” she yells with wide eyes and her impossibly bright smile.

“How could I ever say no that that?” I ask and pull her down on top of me. She pauses as her smile fades before reappearing just as she leans in to kiss me and my god is she the best kisser. Laura kisses me like her mission on life has always been to love me and I feel it stronger every time. Just when I start to doubt myself and feel like I’m driving her away, I’m reminded of how much she loves me every time our lips touch, every time her hands pull at my hair, every time I feel her body against mine, every time she holds me.

Laura has both her hands on my face, holding me so gently as we’re smiling and kissing and simply loving one another. Before I realize it my hands are wrapped around her, holding her close to me as if she’ll disappear any moment. I didn’t realize I do this until she pointed it out to me but I can’t seem to help it. I’ve never felt this strongly about anyone and I just can’t lose her.

We eventually remember the reason we started kissing in the first place and eventually get up to order the pizza. I take a quick shower while we’re waiting and Laura seems content to continue cleaning. Stepping out of the shower, it’s nice to see that my bruises are almost gone. I will have the scars for most of my life probably, but at least my skin is almost its normal color again. I don’t feel quite as disgusting when I look in the mirror anymore and I guess that’s a good thing. I mean, the scars are a constant reminder of that day and I will have to talk to Dr. Huang about how to deal with that I guess but I think I could get past it if I really work at it.

“It doesn’t matter how long you look in that mirror, you’re still going to be beautiful.”

I turn around to see Laura standing there smiling at me. I cover up with a towel before moving closer to her.

“How long have you been standing there?” I ask.

“Not too long, just long enough to really want to come in,” Laura says while coming within inches of me and pulling at my towel.

“Is that right?” I ask.

“Mhm. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? I mean, really?” she says and pulls at my towel some more. “You are the kind of woman that men and women literally fangirl over.”

I can’t help but laugh at that and soon Laura’s laughing with me.

“No, hear me out. Do you have any idea what I was thinking the first time I saw you?” she asked.

“Well, you were drooling all over Betty’s desk so I have a pretty good idea where your mind was,” I answer and kiss her gently.

“Yes. I’ll admit I was a bit shocked by you.”

“Shocked?”

“Definitely. You are by far the most attractive woman I have ever seen in my entire life. You’re the kind of hot that scares the crap out of people, Carm. I remember thinking ‘what the fuck is she doing here at a school? She’s so hot. Oh my god I can’t meet her dressed like this. It’s not like she’ll even look at me. She’s so pretty!’ and then Betty snapped me back into reality. But then, even after I literally crashed into you, started crying and made a complete fool of myself you still wanted to talk to me? I was more than shocked at that point.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be. The second I looked up from that magazine and saw you nervously looking over your resume I knew I was done for. I had to talk to you and to be honest I was going to try to find you even if you hadn’t run into me.”

“Are you serious?” she asked.

“Dead serious,” I said and there goes my towel. Her arms are around me in seconds and she kisses me. All the love in her tiny body is surging into mine and I remember just how much I have to fight for. If this is what my life is going to be then I’ll never give up.

Just as my hands find their way under the back of her shirt, the doorbell rings. I’m suddenly furious and I don’t want pizza anymore.

Laura pulls back and whispers “we’ll finish this later” before sneaking out of the bathroom, leaving me naked and still very much worked up. This is so not fair. I go into the bedroom to get dressed and join her for dinner and I find her setting the table, complete with wine and candles.

“What’s all this for?” I ask.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just feeling a bit affectionate tonight I hope that’s ok.”

“It’s more than ok, cupcake. Trust me. I just didn’t expect all the fanfare for pizza.”

“Well, we did kind of get interrupted so I figured we could continue having a nice night together starting with dinner.”

“Sounds good to me,” I say and sit down in the chair she pulled out for me.

The first few minutes of dinner were just as romantic as Laura intended for it to be. We sat close together, eating the pizza that was actually pretty good and drinking cheap red wine. It’s nice when we can just enjoy each other’s company without the weight of everything we’ve been through, but somehow it always comes up and I fucked up this time. I really fucked up.

We were actually talking about LaF and Perry’s wedding a few weeks ago when Laura asked a question that just set me off and I still don’t understand why.

“So how do you feel about seeing Dr. Huang separately? With our wedding coming up soon I think it would be good for us both to talk about some issues don’t you think? She asked.

I don’t know why I reacted this way. I do actually think it would be good to do the separate sessions but I just couldn’t fucking say that. I guess I’m just so tired of thinking and feeling that I lost it on the one person who doesn’t deserve it.

“I just don’t know, Laura! Can we please just have one night where I don’t have to deal with all this bullshit and just exist? Can I please just have one night where I’m left alone? Fuck!” I almost yell and walk away, down the hall and into our bedroom leaving Laura stunned and I think I hear her crying.

I’m so ashamed of myself and just fucking angry that I get back in the shower. I can’t stand the person I am right now so I fiercely try to wash it all away. Sitting on the shower floor, clutching my legs against my chest, I’m sobbing and trying desperately to catch my breath. What have I done? I just hurt the one person in the entire world that loves me and I’m too much of a fucking coward to get up off this floor and do something about it. I don’t deserve her but I will be nothing without her. What am I going to do?

I’m trapped within my head and I can’t get up. No matter what my mind tells me I need to do I’m frozen here because I know I just hurt her and I can’t bear the thought of seeing the look on her face. I live for her smile and I just broke it.

I finally turn off the water since it’s been ice cold for at least an hour now. I hear Laura moving around in our room and my heart drops at the thought of facing her right now but I know I have to. I can’t lose her. I don’t know why I reacted the way I did, but I need to apologize.

I finally come out of the bathroom, expecting Laura to be waiting for me in bed but the room is dark with the exception of the lamp on my nightstand, illuminating the note she left for me.

 

_Carmilla,_

_I will leave you alone but I’m not going to leave you. No matter how much you fight me, I’m not going to give up on you because I love you._

_Forever yours,_

_Laura_

I all but fall onto the bed, holding this note against my heaving chest. I don’t deserve this amazing woman and I’ve fucked up. I get scared and run down the stairs, thinking she may have gone to stay with someone for the night, but she’s true to her word. I find her on the couch, wrapped up in blankets, staring blankly at the tv. I don’t know how I’m going to fix this, but I have to.

As I start to walk away to go back upstairs I hear her say “I love you.” I say it back as tears begin to fall and I head upstairs for what is sure to be one of the worst nights of my life.

* * *

 

**Laura**

I’m thankful that today is Saturday because I won’t have to call into work. After everything Carm told me yesterday I couldn’t just leave and go to work not knowing if she is ok. Yeah, what she said at dinner hurt me, but I also understand where all that is coming from. This is a person that was abused and manipulated her entire life. The only way she could survive was to bottle everything up and refuse to let anyone in. Yet, here I am thinking that because she loves me she’s ready to open up about everything. I was so naïve to think so and I feel terrible. She is recovering so well and I just pushed her too far.

I wanted to tell her this last night but she wasn’t ready to hear it. I’m hoping she’s in a better place this morning and will really listen to me. She has come too far to give up now but I’m not going to push her like I have been. She’ll talk when she’s ready.

I finally find the courage to get up off the couch and head upstairs. When I open the bedroom door, I find her still fast asleep so I go into the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth.

“Laura? Is that you?” I hear her say from the bedroom. Shit.

“Yeah, babe it’s me,” I say and go out into the bedroom to find her trying to sit up. She’s rubbing her eyes and I can tell she cried for a long time last night because of how puffy they are and my heart sinks.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey.”

I go to sit on the other side of the bed and she’s just staring at me, almost like she’s trying to decide if I’m real or not.

“Look, I’m really sorry for exploding like that I just”

“Can I go first?” I interrupt and ask her.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Carm, if I’m being honest what you said did hurt me, but I forgave you for it instantly when I remembered where it was coming from. My life has been so different since I met you. Even with all the bad things your mother did to me directly, I don’t regret a single second of it because in the end I still got you. I don’t think you understand how important you are to me. It’s not that you necessarily complete me, it’s more like you compliment everything that I am. In areas where I’m weak, you’re strong. In times when I’m feeling down, you find this incredible strength to pull me back up. In times when I feel hopeless, you give me a reason to go on. The thought of coming home to a love like yours is reason enough for me to fight for you every day. I guess that’s why I pushed you so hard and I’m so sorry, Carm. I really am. I let my desire for you to get better overshadow what you really need and I’m so sorry I pushed you to that point.”

“Yeah, but I still shouldn’t have yelled at you. I can’t forgive myself, Laura.”

“I forgave you already so you have that. That’s in the past now and everything we’re trying to do requires us to leave the past where it belongs, right?”

“I guess you’re right. Like always,” she says and finally looks at me.

“Yea, well I had a long time to think about all this. You’ll talk about things when you’re ready to. I understand that now and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel pressured to talk when you weren’t ready. Our entire life together doesn’t have to be about recovering from what happened. We have too much love to share and too many good things ahead of us to constantly dwell on the past. I love you. I want to marry you as soon as possible and spend every day building the life we both deserve.”

“I love you too, and I’m so sorry for yelling. I’ll talk to you when I’m ready I promise and we can try the separate appointments thing. I realized last night that I need to work through some things to be the best version of myself I can be. I don’t if I’m ready to talk to him about these things yet, but I’ll never know if I don’t try.”

“We’ll talk about this more in a few days. I just really missed you. Do you know how long it’s been since we spent a night apart from each other?” I asked.

“It’s been a long time, but I can tell you that I hated every second of it. I don’t know about you but I couldn’t fall asleep to save my life,” Carm said.

“I didn’t sleep either,” I said as I crawl across the bed to sit next to her.

“Good thing it’s the weekend because you can just stay here with me. You know… if you want to.”

“Are you kidding? There is literally nothing I would rather do than be here right now,” I say and look over at her.

“Yeah?” she asks and a smile begins to pull at her lips.

“Mhm,”I say and lean closer to her. The smile she’s wearing grows bigger as she leans over to kiss me gently and it feels like the first time. Just like that night in my apartment after our first date and she really kissed me for the time, I feel like everything is changing and I’m just so happy. We have the rest of our lives together to figure things out but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

 

We spent the morning and a good part of the afternoon in bed, not that I’m complaining at all. There is definitely something to be said about make-up sex, but Carmilla takes it to another level. I’m exhausted to the point that I’m not sure if I could safely walk down the stairs right now but the last few hours were amazing and by far the most intimate experience of my life. I have never felt so loved and desired.

“You ok there, cupcake?” she asked and ran her hand down my back.

“I’m fine, just a bit tired.”

“Well you probably should be after everything we just did.”

I stretch my way up her body to kiss her and I don’t really want to move just yet so we’re still kissing and I hear her whimper.

“What’s wrong? I ask as I pull back.

“I’m fine. I’m just thinking about the fact that you have one more week at school and then I have you back to myself until the wedding. I’m just really excited,” Carm admits.

“I’m excited too. I mean, I love my kids and everything but I miss you a lot when I’m gone every day. It’s not like it used to be. Knowing you would be right around the corner and would most likely come to my classroom a few times a day. I feel lonely sometimes but I know I can always come home to you. Just imagine, we have one more week, then there’s holiday break, Christmas, and then our wedding before the New Year. Then you’ll come back to school with me when we get back from our honeymoon and we can start our new life as a married couple. It’s going to be perfect, Carm.”

“I know, it will be perfect as long as you’re still here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're going back to school in the next chapter. Also they will soon celebrate their first Christmas together and we're not far off from the wedding chapter. I will try my best to update more frequently. Please don't be a stranger!


	20. Already Taken. Awaken.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is back in school and they are both shoved back into reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you all to know how much it means to me that you continue to come back and read this. You all mean the world to me. Thank you so much.

**Laura**

“So, why do you think it’s important as a journalist to maintain your moral integrity?” I ask. Looking around I see a few hands up, none more enthusiastic than Abigail, but I see that Paige is actually willing to participate on this one so I can’t pass this up. “Paige?”

“Well, I guess it really depends on the journalist’s reasons for getting into the field but I really think that our purpose is to be a part of the solution. No matter what we discover, write about, or report on, the intent should be to shed light on the issues to facilitate positive change. Once a journalists sells out to either further their career or make money is the moment they become a part of the problem,” Paige says rather confidently. Some of the other students in class are staring blankly at her, probably because she never talks but when she does it’s always brilliant.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, Paige. Does anyone have anything to add?”

I would like to believe that their silence indicates a deep understanding of the subject but I know it’s really because they’re counting down the twenty minutes they have until lunch.

“Ok everyone, for the rest of class I want you in your project groups for discussion.” Various groans and eye rolls ensue. “Ugh, I know. Talking to people is horrible but you can do this. I believe in you. I want you to talk about your investigative piece due in a few weeks. Since I know you all totally started this already I want you to discuss how today discussion about integrity is going to affect the approach you take to your article. I need one ticket-out-the-door per group with a brief three-sentence explanation of how today’s discussion is going to impact your article. Remember to have everyone’s name on it so you can all get credit.”

Once I’m fairly convinced they are actually on topic, I return to my desk to check my email and put in a few grades. I glance over at my phone and notice I have a few missed texts.

 **Carm:** cupcake (11:28 am)

 **Carm:** what time are you getting home today? (11:28 am)

 **Carm:** text me when you can and let me know if you can bring nachos and if not I’ll go get them I just need to know. I love you. (11:33 am)

I couldn’t help but laugh, earning a few awkward glances from the class.

 **Me:** I have lunch in a few minutes I’ll call you. I love you too. (11:46 am)

So I spend the next ten minutes replying to a few parent emails and putting in their journal grades for last week. It takes me about two hours or so to read them on Saturday but I would rather read them at home than stay late on Friday to grade them. By the time I hit my contract time on Friday I’m so ready to get home and see Carm that I practically run out the door. The bell rings and I make sure the students hand in their work on the way out. Once the classroom is empty, I pick up my phone to call Carm.

“Hey, cupcake.”

“Hey,” I say.

“So what time are you getting home today?” she asks.

“Probably not until 3:30 or so.”

“Why so late?” she says and I can hear her sigh through the phone.

“Because an email was sent this morning announcing a mandatory faculty meeting this afternoon. They said school board officials will be in attendance so it might even go past contract time. I’ll be home as soon as I can, I promise.”

“But it’s Monday. We only have meetings on Thursdays.”

“Yeah, I know. It seems pretty serious so I have to go. I don’t want to get in trouble,” I admit.

“Yeah, I guess so. This sucks.”

I have to fight back a laugh because she’s so cute. “Why?” I ask.

“Because, I missed you a lot today and I really do want some nachos.”

“Ok, as soon as the meeting is over I will run to the parking lot, stop on the way to get two deluxe orders of nachos and be home as soon as I can. It’s been a rough day here so I can’t wait to see you.”

“I love you so much right now,” she says.

“I love you too. You feeling ok?” I ask.

“Yea, it’s not so bad today. I’ve got a pretty bad headache but I’m used to it at this point.”

“Maybe we need to make an appointment for you to see Dr. Lockhart? You’ve had these headaches for a while now.

“Yea, probably should but we’ll worry about that later. Please just finish the day so you can get home, ok?”

“Ok, it’s only a couple of hours and then you’ll have me and the nachos all to yourself for the rest of the night.”

“You are going to be the best wife ever I swear to god.”

I heard a knock at the door so I look over to find Danny waiting to come in.

“Babe I have to go, I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“Love you too, cutie.”

I hang up my phone as I’m walking to the door to let Danny in.

“What’s up, Hollis?” Danny asks as she awkwardly sits in one of the desks in my room.

“Not much, I just really want to go home. What do you think this meeting is about?”

“Well, I heard that they were copying a bunch of handouts this morning in the office so you know it’s going to be a long one.”

“Crap,” I sigh.

“Yea, and with the school board coming it must be pretty serious. Do you think they found a new principal already?” Danny asks.

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. I guess we’ll find out after school,” I say.

“I guess so. How’s Carmilla doing?”

“She’s recovering very well actually. She’ll be ready to come back next semester for sure.”

“You two still good?” she asks hesitantly.

“Yea, I mean, we kind of had an argument the other night. Everything is more than fine now because it actually brought me to a place where I understand what she needs a little bit better and I think she trusts me even more, but I never want to fight like that again. It was terrible.”

“I’m so sorry. Are you ok?”

“Yea, I’m great actually.” I pause for a moment, thinking of the look on her face when she realized I didn’t leave. The look of relief and fear swimming in her eyes broke me. I realized that all the years her mother made her feel worthless caused her to push people away. It’s almost like she’s convinced that anyone who once loves her is going to eventually leave so she needs to leave first to avoid getting hurt. Her seeing that I didn’t leave, and that I won’t ever leave both comforted and terrified her. She doesn’t know how to be loved. “I realized that night just how much she means to me. I learn new things about her every day and no matter how sad, strange or annoying they may be, I love all these parts of her because they make her into the woman I can’t live without. I love her so much, Danny.”

“I know you do, and she loves you too. In all the years I’ve known her I have never seen her like this. If any two people on this planet are supposed to be together it’s you two nerds. Anyway, tell the old grouch I said hey.”

“You should tell her yourself. I’m sure she would love to hear from you.”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“I do. She has always thought you were a good person. Besides, I think she could use a friend, someone other than me to talk to.”

“Maybe I’ll text her later this week. Tell her I said hi anyway. See you this afternoon?” Danny asks.

“Definitely, I hope everything’s going to be ok. This school has been through enough.”

“Seriously. Later, Hollis!” she shouts as she darts out the door to get to the cafeteria before the line closes.

I heat up the mac n’ cheese left over from dinner last night and eat it quickly before the bell rings. It’s funny how I never really have a chance to eat my lunch at a normal pace since I got back. I’m always busy with something these days and I’m honestly so exhausted. I can’t wait until break starts. So many good things are happening in my life and I am so ready for all of it, and approximately 72 hours of sleep.

I fight my way through my last few classes with a 5 hour energy and pure adrenaline. We have exams coming up soon and I feel like there’s so much material to cover in such a short amount of time. I just want all the kids to pass so badly. While I know that’s kind of unrealistic, it’s not going to stop me from trying my best. I’ve come to really care about these kids and since the testing climate in our education system is so rigorous I just want to be sure that the exams they have in my classes are going to be the least stressful because they’ll feel prepared. They may grow to hate me by the end of the year, but I just hope that one day they’ll look back and be thankful that I challenge them to really think for themselves.

* * *

 

I finish straightening up my classroom and lock up before heading to the auditorium a few minutes after the final bell rings. The students practically left campus in a stampede today so the halls are uncharacteristically quiet. As I walk into the front door to the performance hall, to say the mood is tense would be an understatement. There’s nervous chatter all over the room and just about everyone stopped for a moment to glance at me. Carm and I are definitely a popular topic of conversation around here after everything that happened. Some of these people worked with Lilita their entire careers. They just couldn’t believe what happened. To think that someone you work for and may possibly even admire is a cold-blooded psychopath is rather unnerving.

I eventually find my friends and make my way through the crowd gathered by the sign-in table to sit with them.

“What the hell is going on you guys?” I ask, finding a seat next to LaF.

“Apparently the school board is going to make a statement about the changes in administration,” Sarah Jane says.

“Wait, did you say changes? As in plural?” Danny asked.

“Yea, I heard people got fired today,” LaF says.

“Oh my god, this is just crazy,” I say just as the deputy superintendent taps on a microphone, stealing everyone’s attention.

“Hello everyone, if you don’t know I’m David Lewis, the deputy superintendent for this district. I’m sure you’re all wondering why we’re here and we will get to that. First I believe the superintendent wants to make a quick statement before we get to business. Ms. Hall?”

“Yes, thank you David. Hello, Silas High School. I want to fist thank you for all the work you’ve done this year to overcome everything and persevere for the sake of the students. It truly shows how dedicated you are to our calling as educators. I also want to formally and publically apologize on behalf of the entire school board for our negligence in matter of your formal principal. While it’s not an excuse, I myself fell prey to her deceiving ways and I want to assure you that my main focus is to protect you and the students at Silas. That is why we have made the changes that David will explain to you in a moment. Please trust when I say that these changes are in the best interest of this school. Thank you for having us here today and please continue your hard work.”

The woman simply grins and disappears behind the curtain after handing the microphone back to Mr. Lewis. Most likely to leave campus before we hear about these changes and have a chance to corner her with questions.

“Thank you, Ms. Hall. As you just heard, some changes are being made here at Silas. We wanted to bring you all together as a family to inform you that an entirely new administration will be brought in at the beginning of the new semester.”

You can practically hear the whole room going into shock. Most everyone gasps and a few people are even beginning to cry. I don’t really feel the same because I’m new here but some of these people have worked together most of their lives.

“Upon further investigation, it was apparent that there were other employees within the school involved with the crimes that took place over the years under the direction of the principal. To ensure the safety of the students and remaining faculty, cuts had to be made. I know this will be difficult for a lot of you, but please know that the superintendent’s office is doing this for the good of the Silas school family. A lot of you know that I worked here in the early days of my career, right alongside Lilita and I’m horrified by what she did to her family, Ms. Hollis and the rest of you. At the end of the day this school must keep running because there are more than two thousand kids ready to walk through the door in the morning. I will be here to handle administrative responsibilities until winter break as the positions will not be filled until the beginning of the semester. I am here to help you get through this trying time, I really am. Now, go home to your families. We’ll discuss a game plan at Thursday’s regular faculty meeting. Thank you and see you all in the morning.”

I notice a crowd is gathering to probably attack Mr. Lewis with questions and while I have a few myself, I just want to go home. I promise my friends I’ll talk to them about this tomorrow and head for the parking lot, thankfully avoiding the usual after school traffic jam. I send a quick text to Carm to let her know I’m on my way before heading over to Moe’s to grab some nachos. While I think it’s adorable that my girl woke up dreaming of nachos, the endless planning of me getting the nachos has actually made me really hungry and I’m so thankful for another great idea Carm had. I get the nachos, swing by the store to grab some drinks to try to make it home in record time.

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

**Cupcake:** On my way be there soon

 **Me:** Yesssss thank god

I guess I should probably change out of these clothes and freshen up a bit. I mean, I really don’t want to but there’s something about her that still makes me want to look good for her. No matter how she thinks she looks, there has never been a day when I’m not amazed by her. She’ll come in from work, clothes wrinkled, messy bun unraveling further with each step and tired eyes but all I can see is how beautiful she is. I’m still shocked sometimes that out of everyone in the world this girl chose to be with me.

I make my way upstairs as quickly as my stupid body will let me. My wounds have pretty much healed completely, but the pain is starting to get worse. The last few days have been the worst so far. The pain is so bad sometimes I can’t breathe. Last night I woke up in so much pain I almost threw up but it went away quick enough and I was thankfully able to fall asleep. I hope this pain goes away soon because I can’t take this much longer.

I tie up my hair before taking a really quick shower and then changing into clean shorts and one of Laura’s sweaters. I head back downstairs just in time to hear Laura pulling into the driveway. I’m hurting quite a bit but I really want to not be drugged up tonight so I’ll just deal with it. Hopefully the cupcake won’t notice. 

“Carmilla?” she says, opening the door with about a billion bags in her hands. I go toward the door to help her but she sets everything down and turns to lock the door and hang up her keys.

“Hey, need help with all that?” I ask.

“Nope.”

She steps over the pile of bags and wraps her arms tight around my waist and buries her face deep into my shoulder, squeezing me as tight as she will allow herself. All I can do is hug her back, she obviously needs it. We stand there for a minute, holding one another before she finally breaks away.

“Everything ok?” I ask still holding her hips gently.

“It is now. A lot happened at school today and I just really missed you. I’m so happy to be home,” she says, standing up on the tip of her toes to kiss me lightly. I pull her closer by her belt loops and kiss her back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.

“Not right now, but maybe later tonight. I don’t want to think about work for at least the next few hours. I want to have dinner with my beautiful fiancé and watch a movie. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect. You go change and I’ll take care of all this.”

“You feeling ok?” she asks, looking me up and down to make sure for herself.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. You’ve had a rough day. Go change into something comfortable and let me take care of you for a change.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, now go.” I kiss her on the cheek before bending down to grab a bag to take to the kitchen. The smile on Laura’s face is more than enough for me to fight through this pain. I don’t know what happened at school but I know I want her to be able forget about it for a while if she wants to.

With a few trips back and forth, I eventually bring everything into the kitchen. I take all the bowls out of the bags and assemble our nachos, leaving a few things for Laura to add because I know she’s particular about her food. I pour us a couple glasses of tea and take everything into the living room. It seems like a laid back, couch potato kind of night. Just as I’m returning from the kitchen with my favorite hot sauce, I find Laura coming down the stairs and I’ve lost all ability to think. She’s wearing grey boy shorts and my black Silas hoodie and she has honestly never looked more beautiful to me.

“Uh… dinner’s ready. Over here,” I mutter.

“Oh, I see that,” she says and walks over to me. She kisses me on the cheek so softly I barely feel it, but when she says “thank you” into my ear before walking over to the couch I know for sure I’m not dreaming.

“Thanks for the extra queso.”

“You’re welcome, I know it’s your favorite part. Come sit with me. We can watch whatever you want to while we eat,” she says before taking a sip of her drink.

When I sit down next her, Laura wastes no time in getting close. She’s always like this when she has a rough day and believe me when I say that is the opposite of a problem for me. She’s wriggling around next to me, trying desperately to get comfortable while I flip through the channels in an attempt to find anything tolerable. We eventually find a suitable position and spend the next hour or so finally indulging my nacho craving while cuddling and catching up on Scream Queens.

I was laughing my ass off at Chanel #2 talking about being in a bad mood because she was motor boated by Adolf Hitler in hell when I realized that Laura had fallen asleep on my lap. If I keep watching this I’ll probably wake her up so I turn it off for us to pick back up later. I put my feet up on the table, stretch back and close my eyes. I might as well get some rest too.

* * *

 

When I woke up, the sun appeared to have been down for a while. I definitely slept way longer than I intended to. Reaching over for Laura, I’m met with a cold couch cushion and no cupcake in sight. After a good thirty seconds of stretching, I pull myself up to my feet and make my way upstairs. I head into the bathroom, pull up my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth; it helps me feel a bit better.

As I’m drying my face, I hear the door to the balcony open. Laura must be coming back inside so I go out into the bedroom to meet her but still don’t find her. I throw on a hoodie and go over to the doorway to finally find my girl, wrapped in a blanket looking out into the forest behind our house.

“I was wondering when you were going to get up,” she says.

“Didn’t realize I slept so long. Sorry, cupcake.”

She looks over at me, cheeks stained with fresh tears and I feel terrible for taking so long to find her. I go over to the swing, sit down beside her and pull her into me to hug her as tight as I can. I still don’t exactly know what’s bothering her but I know she needs me right now and I can’t let go. She’s holding onto me, crying, pulling on my clothes and I just don’t know what to do but to hold on. After a few minutes, her crying slows and her breathing returns to normal. She’s still holding onto me and laying against my chest, but I’m able to finally brush the hair away from her face and dry a few tears.

She looks up at me and I can see the entire world in her eyes. This beautiful, fragile, incredible woman is everything to me and I swear I will do anything to help her through this pain. I run my hand through her hair softly while I hold her with the other, stopping only to cup her cheek while I lean down to kiss her softly. She starts to cry again, pulls away only to whisper “I love you” and holds onto me even tighter. We stay this way for a while, before she sits up to look back into the night.

“Laura, is everything ok? You don’t have to talk about it but I just”

“I… I don’t know, Carm.”

“You don’t know if you can talk about it?” I ask.

“I don’t know if I’m ok.”

“Oh.”

She looks over at me, and I instantly look down to avoid what seems to be one of my worst fears coming true. Ever since Laura and I got together, I’ve been terrified of her losing interest in me or something happening that’s just too much for her to handle and she won’t want me anymore. Lately, she just seems so down, but doesn’t want to talk about it. Laura always wants to talk about everything but something has changed and I’m so scared.

“Hey,” she says and I look back up to meet her eyes. Her lips pull into a faint smile and I would swear my body just melted. That’s seriously all it takes. She opens her blanket, as if she’s asking me to get closer so of course I do. She throws her legs over my lap so she’s turned toward me and wraps the blanket around both of us. Her hand instinctively finds mine and I can suddenly breathe again.

“I need to get this out because it’s tearing me apart,” she says, squeezing my hand even tighter and pulling it closer to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“A lot, I think but there are some things I need to tell you first, ok?”

“Ok.”

She reaches up with her free hand to wipe her face clean, takes a deep breath and looks right at me before she smiles.

“The first thing I want you to know is how different I was before I met you. I thought I had it all together. Graduated top of my class, made my dad proud, you know all that stuff. I knew I was going to get a job and teach for the next fifty years and then die knowing I made a difference in students’ lives. That’s it. That’s all I ever wanted for myself. I may have dreamed from time to time about falling in love but I never really thought it would happen. When my mom died I was convinced that true love may exist, but no one can actually have it because the world is too cruel to allow us something that beautiful. My parents were so in love and it was all taken away. So, I gave up on that idea long ago and just focused on my career.”

I really don’t like this. At all. Where is she going with this? Please, Laura. Don’t.

“But then I met you, Carm and everything I ever knew or thought was possible went out the window. I spent my entire life preparing for this career, fighting every day to become a better, more respected educator and I’ve realized how much more there is to life that I never knew I could have. I could become the best teacher on the planet, win every award there is and I would still be nothing if I lost you. Yes, a lot may have happened to us since we started dating but I don’t care anymore. All I want is you. Every day. Forever. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need you, Carm. If you still want me after all my crazy I”

“Of course I still want you, Laura.”

She reaches her hand behind my neck and pulls me into a kiss that warms me to the bones. I feel everything she’s feeling like a lightning bolt surging between us. She pushes into me and I push back, matching her passion with equal vigor.

“I need to be honest with you if we’re going to make it,” she says after pulling away and catching her breath.

“You can tell me, I promise.” I move my free hand through the blanket to begin rubbing her back gently. I’ll try anything to make her feel more safe right now.

“I have been so worried for you. Ever since you began to tell me about the details of everything your mother has done, I have been in a full panic. So worried to the point where I forgot about myself in the process because when it comes down to you and anything else, I’m going to choose you every time. When things started to really get out of control, I started to panic even more and I just started to push it down inside so I could stay strong for you. But I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m so scared all the time, Carm. I know she’s gone, but I still feel so terrible about the way everything went down. If I could have just stopped her then you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. The time that you were in the coma was by far the darkest time of my life. I don’t ever want to know who I am without you, Carmilla because I didn’t like who I became. When I thought I lost you, I had already lost myself. But now that I have you back I’ve returned to bottling all my emotions up to be strong for you and feel like I’m breaking open and everything is spilling out. I’m sorry I can’t be strong enough. I’m sorry.”

“Laura.”

She looks down as if she’s failed. I can’t believe how much she’s been holding in. Fuck, I feel terrible for not realizing this sooner.

“Laura, please. Look at me.”

She finally looks up with a little help from me and I swear I’ve broken into a million pieces.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I am honestly the worst for not realizing this was happening any sooner.”

“You were hurt, I understand why.”

“That’s no excuse and this is not the kind of wife I’m going to be to you I promise. Look, being strong for me doesn’t mean you have to forego anything you may be going through. We’re a team in every way, Laura. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened. I’m sorry that my mother was bat shit crazy and did what she did. But just because I sustained the worst physical injuries that day, doesn’t mean that you have to write off what happened to you. I will never forget how much you fought for me. How you screamed at her, even while she had the knife to your throat. I will never forget how you fought her with all the strength you had, doing everything to protect me simply because you love me. I will definitely never forget how you begged for her to kill you in order to save me. Laura, I don’t know if I will ever understand how much I love you because sometimes it seems unreal. When I thought she killed you, I was glad I was dying too because I don’t ever want to have to live without you.”

“I love you too, Carm. So much. That’s why I feel so bad sometimes for having to deal with my crap because you’ve been through so much worse and I don’t feel like it’s fair.”

“Don’t you understand by now that your crap is my crap now? All your problems are mine now too. I need every part of you in my life, the good parts and the bad. I want you to share it all with me. No matter what I may be going through, feel like you can be honest with me. No more holding it in until you break, ok?”

She smiles gently and lays her head on my shoulder before saying “ok” and wrapping her arms around me. We stay on the swing as long as I can tolerate it. Talking through some more things but mostly just being with each other and enjoying the clear night sky. We eventually get up and get ready for bed. Laura has a long day tomorrow and she needs to be well rested for it.

* * *

 

**Laura**

It’s around 1 am and I’m still awake. Lying in bed next to Carm, staring at the ceiling and listening to the soundtrack of her dreams. She whimpers every once and a while and I’m not sure if she’s in pain or just having a bad dream so I’m trying to stay as still as possible so I won’t make things worse. She begins to kick her legs a little and I’m wondering if I should wake her up when she jerks herself awake, taking a deep breath like she’s been trapped underwater and I sit up frantically looking over her to see if she’s ok.

“Carm?”

“Something’s wrong,” she groans and contorts her body into the fetal position.

“What do you mean?” I ask, sitting up even more because I’m starting to freak out.

“Laura, something is very wrong. The pain is too much we need to go now.”

I jump up out of bed, throw on some clothes and run back to bed to get Carmilla so I can take her downstairs and drive her to the hospital.

“Ok, I’m going to lift you on three and help you down the stairs. Do you think you can do that?” I ask.

“I think so, just please we have to hurry.”

I put my arm around her shoulder and grab her hand.

“One, two, three!” I say.

As soon as I lift her off the bed slightly, she cries out and is instantly unconscious. Falling back onto the bed, she’s lying there motionless and I go into a full and complete panic.

“Carmilla!? Please wake up! CARM!!!”

I run over to the nightstand and grab my phone to dial 911. They answer on the third ring.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“My girlfriend, my fiancé is unconscious and I need your help please hurry!”

What’s your location, ma’am?” the operator asks.

“We’re at home. 4636 Ouaknine St. We’re upstairs in the bedroom you have to hurry!”

“Ok, I have paramedics already in route. Is your door unlocked?”

“No, it’s locked.”

“First I need you to check, is your girlfriend breathing?”

I place my hand close to her mouth, feeling for any signs of breath.

“Yes, she’s breathing.”

“Ok, good. Make sure she’s in a comfortable position. Her neck needs to not be strained so that nothing is obstructing her breathing.”

“Hold on.” I set the phone down on the bed so I can move Carm back a bit so she won’t fall. “Ok, nothing is obstructing her breathing. Are they almost here?”

“What’s your name?” the operator asks.

“Laura Hollis. How long until they’re here? She’s still unconscious!”

“Laura, I need you to go downstairs and unlock the door so they can get in. They’re almost there.”

“No! I can’t leave her up here alone. I almost lost her last time and I can’t leave her.”

“The paramedics need to get inside, Laura. Stay on the phone with me and just quickly go downstairs to unlock the door and then you can go back.”

“Fine! But I swear to god if she dies I will never forgive you.”

I lean down and kiss Carm on the forehead before running out the door and downstairs. As I’m getting closer to the front door I hear sirens approaching so I know the operator was right. They’re almost here. I flip the deadbolt and run back upstairs as fast as my body will carry me. Bursting through the door, I find Carm still unconscious and my heart sinks thinking of what may be happening to her.

“Laura, are you back upstairs? The paramedics are there and should be with you in seconds.”

“Yes, I’m upstairs,” I say through labored breaths.

“Is she still breathing?”

I reach my hand up to her mouth again, relieved to feel shallow puffs of breath on my skin.

“Yes, thank god. She’s still breathing.”

I begin to cry, just as the paramedics rush through the door and over to us. They kind of push me out of the way as they begin to take her vitals and assess her condition. I’m standing off to the side, sobbing and trying to catch my breath. We’re right back in the cabin. I’m watching these people work on the love of my life, praying to any and every god that may be listening for her to be ok. I can’t live without her and I don’t know what to do.

They load her on a stretcher and carry her down the stairs. I slip on my shoes, grab my wallet and run after them, barely having enough forethought to grab my keys and lock the door behind me before I climb in the back of the ambulance. They’re hooking her up to all these machines, causing the beeping to get louder and faster. She’s clearly in so much pain, her body shaking even while unconscious. Before I can even think about what’s happening to her, we pull up to the ambulance bay and are rushed outside and into the hospital.

I’m running alongside the stretcher, holding onto Carm’s hand as the paramedics lead us into the trauma center. We reach a third set of double doors and are finally met by a team of doctors and nurses who stop us. They move around Carm and immediately start working on her. They start to go through the doors and I’m moving behind them when I’m stopped suddenly.

“You’ll have to wait here,” one of the doctors says.

“Hold on,” I beg. Stopping the stretcher with my hand, I lean down to kiss her just in case there’s a part of her that’s still awake. I want her to know what I’m here and she’s going to be ok. She has to be.

They pull her away from me and through the doors that swing closed behind them. I drop to the floor and I can’t breathe. What if something happens to her? I can’t let this happen. I can’t lose her. I stand up, pull out my phone and make my way to the waiting room. I dial the number of the first person I need to get ahold of.

“Hello?”

“Abby, it’s Laura.

“Hollis?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“Is everything ok?”

“No, Carm was just rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. She’s unconscious. I need your help, please.”

“I’m on my way, Laura. I’ll do everything I can. You just stay strong, ok?”

“Ok, thank you.”

“Sure thing.”

I hang up and send a quick text to Danny.

 **Me:** Carm is in the hospital. Something is really wrong. Please tell Betty I won’t be at school tomorrow and I’ll email her when I can. (1:46 am)

I navigate my way through the halls to get to the emergency waiting room. I’m actually able to find a seat in the corner where I won’t have to sit next to some sick child coughing all over me. The second I sit down I realize I have no idea what to do. I feel so helpless. Having to sit here and wait is absolutely excruciating but I have no choice. This is where the doctors will come looking for me so I can’t go anywhere. I’m getting lost in my frightening thoughts when I feel my phone vibrate.

 **Danny:** Oh my god is she ok? Do you need anything at all? And don’t worry about school I’ve got it. (1:58 am)

 **Me:** I don’t know. I think I’m ok right now but thank you. (1:59 am)

 **Danny:** Ok, well please keep me updated. If you need anything at all please text me. I can be there in less than 15 minutes. (1:59 am)

 **Me:** Thanks Danny. I will. (2:00 am)

I sit in that stupid chair for what feels like an hour. Afraid to get up in case the doctors come to talk to me. Eventually Abby comes walking through the door and the look on her face rips my heart right out of my body. I get up and run over to her because no matter how bad the news may be, I have to know.

“How is she?” I ask, trembling from head to toe.

“She’s stable, and I think a bit more comfortable.”

“You think?”

“Well, she hasn’t woken up yet.

“Why? What the hell is going on, Abby?” I plead.

“She’s in a tremendous amount of pain because of what’s happening and her body went into shock. She’s fallen unconscious as a way to stay alive through that much pain.”

“Why is she in so much pain what is wrong with her?”

“We did an MRI and it seems a lot of scar tissue has formed on the inside. Though her wounds may have healed nicely on the outside, things aren’t going so well internally. The scar tissue is pressing on part of her intestines and some of her vital organs, causing everything to work abnormally and blood flow to be obstructed. I’m surprised she didn’t say anything considering her pain level. It must be unbearable.”

“Ok, so what does this all mean?” I ask.

“She’s going to need surgery pretty much immediately in order to remove the scar tissue. If we don’t operate, it will continue to grow and her condition will only worsen.”

“Please, tell me you’re sure about this Abby. Tell me you’re sure she’ll make it.”

“Anything can happen in there, but she’s the strongest patient I’ve ever had. I’d bet my life on it.”

“Can I see her first?” I ask.

“Of course, follow me. They’re prepping her now so you’ll only have a few minutes.”

I follow Abby through the corridor and into the surgery prep wing. I have to sanitize and put on scrubs but I’m soon I’m standing in front of the last door separating me from Carm. Even now, she looks like she’s in so much pain. I trust that Abby can fix this. She did last time. I take a deep breath before opening the door and rushing to Carmilla’s bedside.

The nurses leave us for a minute and I sit down next to her, grabbing onto her hand and holding it tightly. I’m doing everything I can to not cry because I have to hold it together if I’m going to make it through this night but seeing her like this just kills me.

I lean closer to her, inches away from her ear before saying “you’re going to be ok. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You’re going to fight this and come back to me stronger than ever. I love you and I can’t wait to marry you. See you soon, Carm.”

I kiss her on the cheek and turn to leave before they have to drag me out. I push my way back out into the hall as the nurses rush back in to finish their prep.

“Laura, I promise we’re going to do everything we can. I’ll come talk to you soon,” Abby says.

“Just bring her back to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try my best to update quickly since I kind of left you on a cliff there. Thank you again for reading and please let me know what you think! :)


	21. Where Stone Begins to Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Carmilla survive?

**Laura**

I’ve been sitting in here for hours, barely brave enough to hit the vending machines and use the bathroom in fear that the doctors may come looking for me and I won’t be there. I know this kind of surgery is very delicate but I still feel like it’s been way too long. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel, but I couldn’t sleep even if I wanted to. Carm is in there, fighting for her life and all I can do is sit here and wait; wait for news that I don’t know if I’m ready to hear. She’s strong as hell and I believe in my heart that she’s going to make it, but there’s still a part of me that’s afraid that the worst is coming. I’ve been trying my best to not think that way, but the longer I sit here the harder it is.

The sun will be up soon. I usually love watching the sun rise. It’s my time to be alone and think about the day ahead as I get ready for whatever comes. Those few moments on the balcony each day are usually a time that bring me peace and comfort, but today the sun only brings terror and panic as it’s another reminder of just how long Carmilla has been in surgery. I’m starting to go through that outdated People magazine again when I hear a familiar voice from the doorway of the waiting room.

“Hey Laura, any word yet?” Danny asked.

“Danny. No, she’s still in there and I haven’t heard anything.”

She comes over and sits in the chair next to me. “I’m sure everything is fine. If something was wrong they would have sent someone out to tell you.”

“I guess so. What are you doing here anyway?” I ask.

“I was on my way into school and I thought I would check to see if you or Carmilla needed anything.”

“I’m ok right now, just anxious to hear something. Thank you for coming by. It really means a lot.”

“No problem, Hollis. That’s what friends do I guess. Have you eaten?” Danny asked.

“Not really. My stomach is a mess right now and I didn’t want to risk being gone too long anyway.”

“Let me run to the cafeteria real quick. Will you at least try to eat? You will only feel worse if you don’t.”

“Ok, I’ll try. Thanks Danny.”

“Ok, stay right here. I’ll be back,” she says and runs off toward the elevators.

I’m going through the magazine again. Not even really reading anything when I hear the door leading into recovery open. I’m afraid to look up but I do anyway, finding Abby standing there still in her scrubs. She takes her mask off and I would swear she’s trembling. Her skin is pale, brow damp with sweat and her clothes painted with lines of blood. There’s a lot of blood and it hit me in that moment that it’s Carm’s blood all over her.

“Abby?” I say, unable to move.

“Laura, come with me.”

I still can’t get up until Abby pulls my arm and I’m snapped out of my trance. As soon as the doors close behind us, I whip around demanding answers.

“What happened in there? Is she ok?” I ask.

“Not in the hallway we’re almost there,” Abby says, continuing to pull me along. We get to her office and she leads me over to the couch in the corner and sits down next to me.

“Laura, there was a lot more scar tissue in there than the MRI indicated.”

“What does that mean? Tell me what the hell is going on!”

“When I opened her up I realized this had been going on a lot longer than Carmilla admitted. Scar tissue from the deepest wound had actually pinched off her large intestine, causing it to perforate last night. She went into septic shock on the table and I was barely able to save her.”

“She’s alive?”

“Yes, she’s alive. It took everything I could think of but she’s stable now and even breathing on her own. She should wake up fairly soon since the antibiotics I have her on are working very well and her condition is improving by the minute. I’m sorry it took me so long to come talk to you, I just didn’t want to leave her side until I was sure she was going to be ok.”

“So what do we do now?”

“She’s going to be just fine, eventually even better than before this happened. The scar tissue was slowing down her recovery dramatically. Now that I have removed it all, she will recover very nicely. She’ll be able to go home tomorrow most likely and should still be able to return to school at the beginning of the year. She’s incredibly strong and you should be proud of her. I’ve seen countless people die from an injury like this and she just keeps on fighting.”

“When can I see her?” I ask.

“You can go in now, you just have to put on sterile clothes and wash up. She’s very prone to infection so we all must be very careful.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

Here we are again. I’m sitting by her bedside as Carmilla fights for her life. This isn’t the way our young lives are supposed to be but Lilita took all that away from us. She’s dead and our lives are still being affected by her. I’m starting to wonder if we’re ever actually going to be free.

Carm looks so peaceful. It must be the combination of medications they have her on because I haven’t seen her look this at peace since before the cabin. Maybe she has been in terrible pain this whole time but just didn’t want to tell me. I wish it wouldn’t have come to this. I wish she could have told me but I think I understand why she didn’t. She once told me that she feels so guilty about everything bad that’s happened to me since we met. No matter how much I try to tell her it’s not her fault, she still feels that way. She probably didn’t want to make things worse so she didn’t tell me how bad her pain is. This breaks my heart completely. I just want her to wake up so I can tell her how much I love her. That’s all I want is for her to wake up.

I’ve been sitting with Carm for a few hours; holding her hand, brushing her hair away from her face, reading to her, simply doing whatever I feel she needs. I finally got around to eating the food Danny bought me a while ago so I really have to go to the bathroom. I run down the hall to the guest restroom and when I get back, I’m greeted by the best sound I’ve ever heard.

“Laura?” Carm says with a scratchy voice.

“I’m right here,” I say, running over to her bed and sitting down next to her. I smile down at her and her eyes finally focus enough to see me and she smiles back. “How are you feeling?” I ask.

“Like hell. What happened?”

“You woke up last night in pain, I tried to help you to the car so we could get to the hospital but you passed out. I called an ambulance and then they rushed you into surgery.”

“Oh my god, what’s wrong with me?”

“A lot of scar tissue growth messed up your intestines and you went into septic shock.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yea, but Abby saved you once again.”

“Seriously?”

“Yea, she’s the one that performed your surgery and said she almost lost you. She saved you again, Carm.”

“So did you, cupcake. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

“I don’t know, I’m just glad you’re awake. What can I do? Should I get the nurse?” I ask.

“We can hit the button thing, just stay with me.”

“Whatever you need.”

* * *

 

After a week of being stuck in here and visits from a lot of people Carmilla didn’t even really want to see, I’m finally able to take her back home. I contacted Mr. Lewis yesterday to explain the situation and what I need from the school board. It just so happens that they feel so guilty about what happened to Carm and me at the hands of their trusted colleague, they unanimously voted for me to have the rest of the semester off to take care of Carm and we’ll return together in the spring semester. This is perfect because she really needs to get her rest if her wounds are going to heal properly this time and not cause any more problems in the future.

“Are you almost ready, cupcake?”

“Yea, I just have to get a few more things from the bathroom and then I’m taking you out of here.”

“Finally.”

“What?” I ask from the bathroom.

“Nothing, let’s just go already!” Carm says.

“Ok, ok, let’s go.” I pull the wheelchair in from the hall and I’m met with a pout that would rival any angsty teenager.

“Not this thing again. I’m fine. I can walk all by myself.”

“Carmilla, please. Don’t do this again. You know their policy so just let me push you out of here and you’ll never have to use one again,” I beg and walk around the chair and closer to her.

“What do I get out of it?” she asks, smiling playfully.

“Um, I don’t know… you don’t have to walk and you get this.” I lean closer and stand on my toes to kiss her just under her ear. “Good enough?” I ask softly.

“Mhm,” she mumbles and sits down.

I walk around the back of the chair. As I lean down to unlock the brakes, I brush her hair to the side and say “let’s go” before rubbing my cheek against hers, standing back up and turning the chair toward the door. It only takes a few minutes for her to be discharged at the front desk and we’re off toward the parking garage.

“Do you want to stop and get something to eat on the way home?” I ask.

“Food sounds good but I really just want to go home. Maybe we can order out later or something?”

“Sounds good to me.”

I pull the chair up to the side of the car, help Carm up and into the passenger seat before I run around to the driver’s side and climb in.

“Ready?” I ask.

“Let’s get out of here. Please,” Carm says.

We’re driving down the highway when I see her squirming in her seat.

“Are you ok? Do you need more pain meds?” I ask.

“My pain is fine, I’m just worried but I’ll be fine.”

“No, you can tell me. I thought we both learned that keeping things in will only make it worse.”

“I know how important your students are to you.”

“Yea?”

“I just don’t think I can make it through the next few weeks without you and I don’t want to take you away from them it’s just that I”

“Carm.”

“What?”

“I’ve already made that decision for myself. I was going to tell you tonight.

“What decision?”

“I’m taking some time off and Mr. Lewis approved it. I don’t go back to school until you do. They still feel partially responsible for everything so they would have agreed to just about anything I asked. I’m not going to leave you alone anymore, Carm. This is never going to happen again. I’ll be right here as you get better, then I’m going to marry you and then our lives will continue on, just as long as we’re together.”

“Are you serious? You don’t have to go back to work yet?” she asked, tears building up in her eyes.

“Very serious. I’m all yours.”

I reach my hand over and she takes it, pulling it up and kissing my palm and then holding it tightly as we drive the rest of the way to our home.

We pull up in the driveway and just sit there for a moment, letting the events of the last week sink in. This feels exactly like the last time I brought Carm home from the hospital. I’m still scared and I don’t really know what I’m doing but I know that I love her and I’ll do whatever it takes to make her feel safe. I squeeze her hand one more time before I jump out of the car and run around to her side.

I reach in and unbuckle the seatbelt before I help her up. She’s probably wishing she had that wheelchair right now, but we slowly make it up to the front door and she leans on me while I find my keys and unlock the deadbolt. No one has been here in days so the house smells stale, but at least it’s home. I lead her over to the couch and help her down gently before I get her some water from the kitchen.

“Here, drink some of this. You need to stay hydrated,” I say, offering her the bottle I just opened.

“Thanks,” she says, taking a sip and setting it down on the coffee table.

 “Can I get anything for you?” I ask, standing next to her but ready for anything.

“I just need to rest a while and then I want to go to bed with you. I know that sounds crazy but I have been dreaming of sleeping in our bed with you beside me but I’m too tired to make it up the stairs right now.”

I lean down and kiss her forehead. “I’ll check on you in a while and take you upstairs when you’re ready.”

She grabs my face and pulls me down into the softest kiss I’ve felt in ages. It seems like an eternity since I’ve had Carm all to myself and I feel like I’ve been put back together again.

“Get some rest. I love you,” I whisper and kiss her one last time before she relaxes and close her eyes. I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over her before I head upstairs.

I freshen up in the bathroom before stripping the sheets off the bed and replacing them with fresh ones. I take my time, making sure every corner is tucked in correctly, that the edges are folded back perfectly and that this bed looks more comfortable than ever. Carmilla may not realize it yet, but she just survived the impossible… again. Abby shared with me the other day just how bad things had gotten in surgery and it scared the crap out of me. I almost lost her again and I swear on my life that I will never waste another moment with her. I’m going to do everything I can to help her get better and to make sure that every moment counts.

I head back downstairs and Carm hasn’t moved an inch. It seems that most of the food left in the refrigerator held up fairly well and I’m able to make us something light to eat for when she wakes up.

I occupy my time by cleaning up the house the best I can without making too much noise. The house at least smells clean and I’ve gotten rid of any spoiled food. There is still quite a bit of cleaning I need to do but that can wait until tomorrow.

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

I don’t know exactly how long I was out, but I know it had to have been a long time. The sun went down hours ago, every part of me is freezing cold and I’m still on this damn couch. I try to sit up but I’m quickly slowed down by my new wound and I’m back on my side in seconds. Once my eyes adjust to the small amount of light in the room, I see Laura wrapped up in a blanket at the end of the couch. She must have been waiting for me to wake up and fell asleep.

I brace myself a little better and use my arms to push myself up. The pain is incredible, but I was able to do it. I lean into Laura a bit, trying to wake her gently so I don’t end up scaring her.

“Cupcake, we should go to bed.”

“Carm?” she says and then stretches as far as her tiny body will allow.

“Laura, wake up. We need to go to bed and I need your help.”

She finally opens her eyes, yawns, stretches again and looks at me. It takes her a second but she smiles at me and leans over to kiss me.

“We should go to bed. Come on,” she says while standing up and reaching her hands out to me.

“Good idea, cupcake.”

I’m grinning the entire time she’s helping me up the stairs because she’s so perfect. Sure this hurts like hell and I would probably be better off staying downstairs for tonight, but I just want to be comfortable and be held while I fall asleep by someone who loves me.

We get to the bedroom and Laura helps me over to our bed. She helps me sit down and I’m relieved to the point that I’m finally able to take a deep breath again. I can’t wait until this pain is under control because it’s honestly so exhausting.

“Do you want to take a shower?” she asks.

“I want to but I don’t think I could. I’m just so tired,” I admit.

“Ok, can you stay up another ten minutes? I know something that will help you feel better.”

“Anything for you.”

She practically skips off toward the closet, grabs a few things and runs back over to me. She sets everything down, kisses my cheek and runs into the bathroom. I hear her digging around in the cabinet and running some water. I really need to sleep but I know that whatever she has planned is definitely worth staying up a few extra minutes for.

She returns with a bowl of warm soapy water, a wash cloth and a dry towel.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“Yes, I’m serious. Trust me, you will feel better when I’m done with you.”

“Is that a promise?”

“It definitely is a promise. Now, are you going to keep being stubborn or are you going let me take your clothes off?” she asks.

“If you must,” I say before smiling and placing my hands on the bed behind me.

Laura places everything on the bedside table and then walks back over to me and steps in between my legs, getting as close to me as she can. I wrap my arms around her legs and hug her as tight as I can. I feel her fingers running through my hair and she’s rubbing my back, making me feel safe again. She steps back and begins to unbutton my shirt. My heart is racing and my mouth is dry. She hasn’t seen my new wound yet and even though I know she loves me, part of me is still scared for her to see it. What if she’s grossed out? What if it scares her even through a bandage?

I realize my hands are shaking when she laces her fingers with mine. She squeezes my hands to bring me back to her and I look up just as she’s leaning down to kiss me.

“It’s ok, Carm. I won’t look at it until you’re ready. Just know that it doesn’t change who you are to me. You’re still the beautiful woman I will soon call my wife.”

She climbs in bed behind me and reaches around me to finish taking off my shirt. I don’t know why I got so scared for her to see me, but her respecting how I’m feeling means everything to me. I don’t know why I’m still so scared but I can’t seem to help it.

She pushes my shirt down my arms and takes it the rest of the way off. She grabs the washcloth from the bowl on the table next to the bed, pulls me back against her gently and begins to wash my hands. Taking care to clean every part of me as she moves up my arm, she seems to be satisfied and rinses the washcloth again, mainly to make it warm again. She then washes my shoulders and neck, pausing only briefly before moving down to my chest and then my stomach. Laura is so gentle in the way she gently cleans the area around my bandage.

Then the cloth is dragged around to my back as she pushes me forward slightly. She rinses it again before she washes by sore, aching back. I moan at her touch because lying in a bed as much as I have lately can make a person very sore and she’s pushing just hard enough on my muscles to relieve some of the pain. One thing about Laura that is still true about Laura in every situation is that she’s very good with her hands.

She finishes cleaning me up and applies some lotion before dressing me in some more comfortable clothes to sleep in and all but tucks me into bed. She was right about one thing, I definitely feel better.

I’m moving around trying to get comfortable when I catch a glance of her out of the corner of my eye. She’s wiggling her hips slowly, trying to take her pants off before she climbs into bed. I don’t really need another reason to be angry about this surgery, but not being able to do anything about this sponge bath/massage situation and now this is just too much.

“Ok, this is just not fair,” I say.

“What’s not fair?” she asks, pulling the covers up so she can slide in bed behind me. She wraps her arms around me gently and this is the best I’ve felt in more than a week.

“You’re so beautiful and I want to spend all night kissing you in places only I get to see, but I can barely move.”

She lifts up my shirt and begins kissing her way across my shoulder blades as her hands grip mine tighter.

“I know, it’s not fair. None of this is fair,” she says and stretches up to kiss my neck. “But you fought through this before and we got engaged. If you can fight through just a few more weeks of recovery then we’ll be married.”

“Then you’ll be mine forever.”

“I already am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, sorry this chapter was a bit shorter than usual. This was just a good place to pause but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Thank you for reading and don't be a stranger!


	22. I Have Seen When We Run We Make It Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day has finally arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably didn't expect this chapter to be posted so quickly, especially since I am TERRIBLE at regularly updating but I was so excited about this chapter I wanted you all to see it asap. 
> 
> I hope this is everything you've been waiting for!

**Carmilla**

The last two weeks have been a blur of agonizing doctor visits and making some very important plans. Laura and I talked briefly about pushing the wedding back even a few weeks, but we decided not to because neither of us can wait. I’m honestly starting to feel a lot better and I sometimes feel better than I did before my last surgery. Abby says the scar tissue was causing the majority of my pain and even though this last trip to the hospital was a little scary, it will all be worth it in the end because I think I may actually be able to enjoy my honeymoon and treat my wife the way she deserves to be treated. I’ve been so worried about it because I want everything to be perfect for Laura but things seem to be falling into place.

Laura went with her friends to pick up her dress yesterday. I haven’t seen it mainly because I don’t want to before the moment we lock eyes during the ceremony. The entire time she was gone I was actually daydreaming of what she’s going to look like in that moment. I keep telling myself that I don’t want to be that person that cries at their own wedding, but if I tear up just thinking about it I’m doomed for sure. She honestly radiates beauty no matter how she may look. She could be dressed up or in sweats and my heart will still drop down into my stomach every time I see her. I never thought I would be lucky enough to marry anyone, let alone someone that makes me feel the way Laura does.

I’m wearing something pretty simple, but it’s actually very elegant. I thought about wearing a dress for tradition’s sake but that’s just not who I am. Navy blue pants, a white button up, navy suspenders and no tie. The moment I tried this on in the dressing room the other day I knew this is what I wanted to get married in. It took a bit more effort than I would have liked to dress myself, but Laura wasn’t there because she was out finalizing the catering plans with Perry and there was no way in hell I was going to allow William to help me get dressed. After a lot of pain and frustration I was able to change back into my clothes and hand everything to Will along with my credit card to buy it because I just wanted to go to the car. I may be feeling a lot better these days but sometimes it’s still a little overwhelming.

It’s now only three days until the wedding and to say I’m feeling nervous would be a vast understatement. I know she’s going to marry me and I’m sure as hell not getting cold feet, but I am honestly so scared of the whole vows thing. I’m worried that I won’t be able to articulate how I feel about Laura in front of all those people because sometimes I can’t even find the words for myself. I love her more than I ever thought someone could love another person. I am constantly finding new things that I adore about her. My heart is so full and I just don’t know how to explain it. I’m just hoping it comes to me when the time is right.

I imagine that Laura is going to have the most poetic and mind-blowing vows that anyone has ever heard. She’s a writer and is able to paint pictures with words that are more vivid than any painting I’ve ever seen. It’s not that I’m jealous because I’m really not. I just want to make sure that I don’t sound like a complete idiot and that I give her the wedding of her dreams. I know I’m placing a lot of pressure on myself but I can’t help it; this wedding has to be perfect for her. Everything that I am is for her.

Today is the last day I’ll have her all to myself until after the wedding so I’m taking full advantage of it. I spoke to Perry last night to ensure that any last minute things that need to be attended will be taken care of by her and the rest of the ginger squad. The last thing I want is for Laura to be worrying about seating arrangements or what songs the DJ is going to play at the reception. When I asked Perry to just take care of anything we haven’t thought of I swear I could hear her excitement through the phone. If there’s anything that girl loves more than a clean house, it’s organizing an event.

I intend to spend the entire day with my cupcake relaxing and enjoying the alone time I have with her before all the partying begins tomorrow. Apparently we’re going out for our separate bachelorette parties before everyone ends up together for one huge celebration. I really didn’t want anything to do with going out with Will, Kirsch and Danny for what is sure to be a bro-tastic evening, but I agreed when they said we could eventually meet up with everyone else. It will all be worth it when I get to wrap Laura in my arms at the end of the night.

“Laura, where are my favorite socks?” I yell from the bedroom.

“The green ones?” she asks.

“Yes, I can’t find them anywhere and my feet are cold!”

“Right here,” she says and I turn around to find her standing in the doorway holding said socks. “I washed them this morning knowing you would probably want them today.”

“What would I ever do without you?”

“Probably get frostbite but you don’t need _all_ your toes to be cute, right?”

I held out my hand and she came closer to hand me the socks, but I just pulled her in for a kiss that rocks me to the core. She’s honestly the girl of anyone’s dreams and yet she’s here with me.

“Frostbite would honestly be the least of my worries in a world without you, cupcake.”

“Hmm, well I guess it’s a good thing you won’t have to find out what that’s like. So what do you have planned for us today?”

I take the socks from her and sit down on the bed.

“I honestly don’t want to do anything but lay around with you. There’s going to be a lot happening in the next few days and I just want to have a peaceful day if that’s ok.”

I’m trying my best to pull my leg up to put my socks on but I just don’t have the strength to do it. Before I know it, Laura is kneeling in front of me and putting my socks on for me. She has this amazing way of taking care of me without making me feel helpless and I love her so much for it and so many other reasons.

“That’s more than fine to me. Any excuse to be alone with you is good enough for me,” she says as she pulls my other sock on and ran her hands up my legs to rest on my thighs. She’s looking up at me with this beaming smile that tears me apart and puts me back together in an instant.

I grab her face lightly and pull her up into a kiss. I lay back on the bed and she follows, straddling my thighs and leaning down into me. This is a dance we’ve done many times before so it’s the most natural thing in the world. We fit together like two puzzle pieces; like a key into a lock. Every part of her compliments who I am. She’s perfect for me and I swear to god that I will never let go.

She flips her hair over her shoulder and goes back in for another kiss, bypassing my lips and going straight for my neck. My arms are getting tighter around her by the second, desperately trying to pull her closer to me. She’s still afraid to hurt me and I understand why, it’s just that I can’t remember the last time I felt her body against mine and it’s driving me crazy. Any pain I may feel afterward is well worth it because I just need Laura; in every way.

By the time she sits back up, I’m completely wrecked for her. The ache between my legs is unbearable and her slowly grinding her hips into me as she looks down and smiles is definitely not helping. I try to sit up so I can do something about it, but the pain forces me back down.

“Carm, slow down. Are you ok?” she asks, stopping her movement. Fuck.

“I’m fine, I just want to make you feel good for a change. This injury has turned me into a damn pillow queen and I hate it. I’m sorry, Laura.”

I can’t believe it but she actually starts laughing. I don’t know what could be that funny right now considering what we were about to do but leave it to Laura to find something to laugh at.

“What is so funny?” I ask, moving my hands to her thighs rubbing them lightly.

“You are, Carmilla. You just had a major surgery, one that would incapacitate most people for weeks or even months. Everything that has happened to you would make most people so angry, but not you. I just can’t believe that the most angry you’ve gotten since everything has happened is literally about not making me come as much as you want to. How the hell did I get so lucky?”

She starts laughing again and I can’t help but join her because she’s right. I could honestly care less about anything else but her. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t even care about myself if Laura didn’t make me believe that I deserve it.

“You haven’t gotten lucky yet today, but you will if you keep stirring your hips like that.”

The smile she’s wearing drops in favor of kissing me. She finally lays down on top of me like I’ve been craving for weeks. Using her arms she’s propping herself up just enough so it doesn’t hurt me. Without me even knowing, my legs are open and she’s settled in between them. Laura is kissing me, rolling her hips down into me and every movement is slow and deliberate. It’s like she wants to feel and taste every part of me and I fully intend to let her.

“Is this ok?” she asks.

“Please god don’t stop.”

She rolls over on her side, gently pulling me along with her and being careful to not to move too quickly. We find a comfortable position and I’m not going to waste any more time. She starts kissing me again and my leg finds its way in between hers. Her hips are moving again but I want more. Moving my hand around to her lower back, I pull her closer and the sound that escapes her is the best thing I’ve ever heard. The combination of a sigh, groan and moan she makes sends a wave of heat through my body and I’ve never wanted her more than I do right now.

I pull her shirt up slightly, just enough to run my fingers from one hip bone to the other so lightly I would swear she just squeaked trying to keep her cool. If it weren’t for how wet my leg is right now, I may have actually believed her. When I slide my hand downward and run my fingers through her folds, she breaks our kiss and gasps for air before moaning softly into my mouth. I’m rubbing my fingers up and down, careful to avoid to the spot she wants me to touch most. By the time she’s ready to come, I want her to be a trembling mess beside me and it won’t be very difficult based on how her body is twitching and writhing. I press down firmly on her clit and she gasps again, grabbing my hair and kissing me like her life depends on it.

I start to move my fingers in tight circles and her hips are doing the same. I’m focused, making sure to give her everything she wants when she moves her hand down my underwear and suddenly we’re working together, climbing the delicious ascent to a mutual orgasm. We can’t even kiss at this point because our breathing is so ragged. My lips find her neck and her nails find my back, both of us trying to be gentle but we’re so wrapped up in each other that a bit of scratching and biting is inevitable. She’s teasing my entrance so I do the same and we both fly over the edge in a loud moan, trying to say anything that resembles the other’s name when we push two fingers in. I hold mine there for a moment, loving the feeling of her fluttering around my fingers for a moment before I push in and out softly to make her pleasure last as long as I can.

After a few moments of trying to catch our breath, she pushes me onto my back and crawls over to kiss me. It’s messy, but it’s everything I need right now. Our teeth clash and she bites my lip a bit too hard, but I don’t care. I love this woman so much and her kissing me like this just reassures me that she loves me just as much.

“So much for being a pillow queen,” she says and then giggles.

“Yea, well there’s a lot more I have in mind to do with you but all that will have to wait a while. I think I’ll be alright if we can keep doing that though.”

“Me too. You can honestly do that any time you want,” she says and kisses me softly.

“I definitely plan to.”

* * *

 

**Laura**

Yesterday was absolutely incredible. If our entire lives are going to be like this then I have to be the luckiest woman in the world. Even with her pain, Carm spent the entire day trying to take care of me. I didn’t realize how helpless she’s been feeling. I try everything I can to not make her feel that way but I guess it can’t be avoided sometimes.

In between all the movies we watched and uh, everything else we did she was honestly the most considerate wife. I know we’re not officially married yet but it already feels like it. Up until her pain level got bad enough to have to take a pain pill, she wouldn’t let me lift a finger, well not for myself anyway. Any time I wanted or needed anything she insisted on getting it. I knew by the time the sun was setting that she was really overdoing it but I didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop. Making me happy and doting over me made her feel back to normal, even if it was just for a while and I was not going to take that away from her.

Getting up this morning was really difficult for me, but nearly impossible for Carm. We laid in bed for a long while, but there’s a lot going on today so we decided we had to get up. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes when I heard her gasp and fall back down to the bed. I whip my head around to find her holding onto her stomach and tears falling from her closed eyes. Her pain must be unbearable and I just want to take it away. If I could take on her pain myself I would in a heartbeat.

I lay back down next to her and rub her arm lightly. I don’t want to make it worse but I want her to know that I’m here. She finally lets out the breath she’s been holding and opens her eyes and looks at me in a way that breaks me.

“What is it?” I ask, reaching up to wipe her tears away before they have a chance to hit the pillow.

“It just hurts really badly today. I can’t,” she says and then her whole body twitches in pain and she’s crying again.

I hate seeing her like this it makes me so angry. It’s not fair that she has to be in this much pain. I brush a few strands of hair behind her ear before moving to get up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back, I promise.”

I run into the bathroom to grab a pain pill and some water before going back into the bedroom and climbing back onto the bed.

“Here, take this,” I say.

“I don’t feel like being drugged all day.”

“You won’t be. I cut it half so it’s just enough to ease the pain but your head won’t get all cloudy. Carm, you’re in way too much pain and you need to take this baby, please?”

She tries to sit up to take the pill but can’t. I help her move back on the pillow so she’s propped up a bit. She takes the pill and I help her with the water so she doesn’t spill it all over herself.

We lie there for a while longer, just waiting for the pill to take effect and it’s like she suddenly remembers everything we have to do today.

“What time is it?” she asks.

“It’s almost eleven, why?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“What on earth are you sorry for?” I ask.

“There’s so much we needed to do today but of course I had to ruin it.”

“You haven’t ruined anything, I promise. We don’t have to meet everyone until five and Perry has everything under control. We can lay here as long as you need to. Everyone can wait.”

“I know, I just wanted everything about this wedding to be perfect for you.”

“Everything is perfect because I’m marrying you. Don’t you get it? I don’t care about anything else that happens as long as you’re waiting for me at the end of that aisle tomorrow.”

“There is nothing in this world that could ever stop that from happening.”

I lean in just close enough to kiss her forehead and I hear her sigh and finally relax. If there’s one thing in this world I’m good at it’s comforting her and I love doing it.

“Are you feeling any better?” I ask.

“A little bit, yeah. I don’t feel like I’m going to die right now so it’s a definite improvement. Could you help me into the shower? Maybe that will help.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

I climb off the bed and walk around to her side. It takes a minute or two, but I’m able to get her on her feet fairly successfully and lead her into the bathroom. She’s leaning against the counter as I help her out of her clothes. Normally this kind of thing would definitely lead to something more but this moment is honestly so pure and intimate. There is nothing I love more in the world than making Carm feel safe and loved. I take my time to tape up her wound carefully, kissing the skin around it to calm her fears. Every time she has to take her shirt off she still trembles and it breaks my heart. I know she trusts me completely, but there’s always going to be something in the back of her mind that makes her feel scared.

“Do you need me to help you shower?” I ask.

“I think I’ll be ok, just check on me in a few minutes. Can you help me in there though?”

I smile as sweetly as I can at her, hoping to make her feel a bit better. I go over to turn on the water and find the right temperature before I lead her into the shower. She kisses me as if to say ‘thank you’ and I leave her to take care of herself.

I go downstairs to start making us some breakfast, lunch, whatever. I figure a couple omelets and toast would sit well in her stomach. Since she’s already not feeling well, I don’t want nausea to make it any worse. After I whip up the eggs and chop up the vegetables I run back upstairs to check on Carm.

“Babe, you ok?” I ask while peeking into the bathroom.

“I think so, I’m just really tired. I’m almost done if you can wait a minute to help me.”

“I’ll get some clothes ready for you and I’ll be right here.”

I’m searching through the drawers and closet to find something that will be comfortable enough but she will still think looks good. I settle on a pair of faded black jeans, black tank top and a blue/black flannel. Since we’ll be out of the house for a while today I want to make sure she feels as comfortable as possible, especially since I can’t be with her the entire time.

I hear the shower turn off and the door open so I run into the bathroom. She’s trying to reach for a towel but I’m afraid she’ll slip and fall so I hand her one. She dries off her face and I help dry the rest of her before I wrap the towel around her and bring her into the bedroom. Carm sits on the bed as I help her get dressed. She honestly looks so sad and I can’t take it. This is supposed to be the best weekend of our lives but because of what that bitch did Carm is in so much pain that she can’t enjoy herself. I know Lilita is dead, but that’s not going to stop me from hating her.

“Did the shower help at all?” I ask, pulling the tank top over her head.

“Yeah, it did actually. I’m still in pain but it’s not as bad. I just feel so weak it’s hard to do anything right now.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all away.” I kiss her on the forehead and help her into the flannel I picked out for her. “Come downstairs with me and let me make you something to eat.”

“You don’t have to,” she says and looks down.

“I know that, but I really want to. You spent all of yesterday taking care of me and I just want to return the favor.”

“But you take care of me every day. I have been useless since everything happened and I feel like I’m taking advantage of-”

“Don’t. Honestly, don’t. You know me well enough by now to know that I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. My entire world changed when I fell in love with you, Carm. Yes, right now things are very difficult for you but none of it is your fault. You were injured very badly and from time to time you need some help to get by and I am so glad that I get to be there person to take care of you. For better or for worse, I’m here to love you and take care of you and that’s just how it is. You’re not taking advantage of me because I want to do all these things. As your wife and your best friend it’s the least I can do after everything you’ve given me.”

“I honestly don’t understand what I’ve done to have you in my life. I don’t deserve you but god damn I’m so glad you love me anyway.”

“You do deserve me and I deserve you. I’ve been waiting my entire life for you and I didn’t even know it.”

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

We had a few errands to run after we ate. To be honest I really didn’t want to go anywhere but Laura promised me I could ride one of those electric carts at the store and I actually got kind of excited. I really like creeping up behind old people and honking the horn to scare them. I know it’s terrible but it honestly makes me laugh so hard.

After an hour or so of rolling around Wal-Mart and scaring innocent elderly people and children, we got all the last minute items we need for the honeymoon. We’re not leaving until the day after the wedding, but the last thing I want to do after I marry the love of my life is make a Wal-Mart run. Since we just went to Puerto Rico we decided on a short trip to Italy. I’m not sure of how much sight-seeing I’ll be able to do but I want Laura to get everything out of this trip she wants. I’m going to try my best to be strong so she can see all the places she wants to but I’m scared I’m going to ruin everything like I always find a way to. I know what happened to me isn’t my fault but I still feel like a burden and it’s eating me alive.

“Ok, let’s stop by the house to grab your medicine and I’ll take you over to Will’s restaurant. Sound good?” Laura says, opening the car door for me.

“I would honestly rather stay home but let’s do it.”

“I know, me too. But we’re only going to experience this once. I don’t want for you to miss out on anything and regret it later.”

“I could care less about the details as long as you’re still my wife by the end of tomorrow, cupcake.”

She kisses me before closing the car door. As she’s walking around the front of the car I see her laughing and shaking her head and it’s got me curious.

“What’s so funny?” I ask after she gets into the driver’s seat.

“Nothing’s funny. I’m just honestly so happy sometimes it really gets to me. You’ve given me everything that’s been missing from my life. I love you so much and I’m just so happy.”

“Me too, cupcake. Me too.”

We hold hands the entire way to the restaurant. I know it will only be a few hours before Laura and the ginger twins join us at the restaurant but I still don’t want to let go. What if someone bumps into me? What if I trip over something and fall? Laura won’t be there and I don’t know if I trust anyone else to help me with this. I know Dr. Huang says that my dependency on her is isolating me from my friends and family, but I am actually terrified of being in any more pain since my second surgery and Laura is the only person on this earth that makes me feel safe. Even if I’m in pain, she’s right there trying everything she can to make me feel better.

We pull into the parking lot of the restaurant and I realized how tightly I was holding Laura’s hand when she lets go and has to stretch her muscles.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Did I hurt you?” I ask.

“No, I’m fine. I know you’re nervous about everything tonight but it’s all going to be ok. I gave your brother strict instructions to not let things get out of hand. I told him that if anything happens to you he will have to answer to the tiny ball of rage that is me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at how cute she is. God I love her so much.

“I have seen this tiny ball of rage in action and my brother better watch out. What time will you and your friends be coming back here?”

“They said not until nine but I’ll try my best to get here sooner, I promise.”

“Good, and you can tell them they better take care of you or they’ll have to answer to me,” I say in the most serious tone but Laura just laughs and practically crawls over the center console and kiss me like we haven’t seen each other in days.

She pulls back, resting her forehead on mine and says “In less than twenty-four hours you will be my wife and we will never have to be apart again.”

She kisses me again just as I hear literal howling from outside the car. I see Will and Kirsch there, cheering us on and I am just not equipped to deal with their level of stupidity today.

“Just a few hours, right?” I plead.

“I will be back as soon as I can, I promise.”

We kiss one last time before I open the door to get out.

“See you soon, love,” I say and wink at her. The smile she gives me is more than enough to get me through so I turn to Will and shoot him a look of death as Laura drives off.

“I’m really happy for you, sis. Laura really is amazing,” Will says as he opens the door for me.

“Yeah, little hottie is pretty great. You lucked out with this one,” Kirsch adds.

“I swear to god if you ever call her that again I will end you. Her name is Laura,” I say and punch him on the arm.

“Damn! My bad, bro. I was just trying to say she’s great but I’m not the best with words.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. She really is great. I’m not feeling all that great so I’m a little on edge.”

“A little?” Danny says while walking in the door behind us.

“Shut up, Xena.”

“Love you too, Karnstein.”

“Whatever. Thanks for coming.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. It’s not every day your good friends get married. I’m honored to be a part of everything,” Danny says.

“So little bro, what do you have planned for tonight? I swear if you hired strippers I’m going to kill you,” I say.

“As much as Kirsch wanted me to, I know you would have hated it. I figure we’ll have some good food, a few drinks and just keep things low key. I’m just glad you’re ok and you’re able to be here. I was really worried you wouldn’t be able to. Are you feeling ok?” Williams asks.

“I’ve been better, but the sweet pain meds I’m rolling on right now will get me through the night. Thank you for keeping this simple because I’m honestly not up for much excitement at the moment.”

“Whatever you need, kitty. It’s your night,” he says.

We spend the next few hours eating the special menu he had his chef prepare just for tonight and laughing about anything and everything. Will had the chef make gourmet versions of all my favorite foods and I’m honestly so thankful for my brother right now. When Natalie brought out a tray of differently breaded chicken nuggets with ten different dipping sauces I thought I died and went to chicken nugget heaven. I was honestly expecting a traditional bachelor party type atmosphere tonight, but William really came through for me.

I’ve been trying really hard all night to not break down and text Laura. I want her to have fun with her friends and not worry about me for once, but she’s the one that broke down first.

 **Cupcake:** everything going ok?

 **Me:** yea, I’m having a good time actually. You?

 **Cupcake:** I’m having fun, but I miss you. We’ll actually be there in 20 mins probably.

 **Me:** you just couldn’t stay away could you? Lol

 **Cupcake:** nope. I’ll be there soon. Love you. xx

 **Me:** Love you too cupcake

“There are only two reasons you could be looking down at your crotch and smiling. I’m hoping it’s that Laura is texting you,” Will says and everyone laughs.

“Yes, you douche. She and her friends will be here soon,” I say and throw a chicken nugget at him. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I missed or that Kirsch ate the nugget off the floor.

“What?! It’s still good!” he says, trying to defend himself.

“Dear god, Kirsch. Your immune system must be strong as hell if you’re eating crap off the floor on the regular,” Danny says.

“Whatever, I couldn’t let a perfectly good chicken nugget go to waste. Your loss, people.”

After a few more minutes of teasing Kirsch and laughing at his stupid arguments, I feel arms wrapping around my chest from behind. Laura kisses me on the cheek and says “having fun?” into my ear. I turn my head toward her to find her awaiting smile and I kiss her before pulling her around my chair and into my lap.

“I’ve had a lot of fun actually but things are about to get a lot better now that you’re here.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me again before turning and saying hi to everyone. Based on her rosy cheeks and glazed over eyes, LaF had her out drinking a bit and she looks like she’s been having a good time. Everything has been about me for so long now, I’m glad she was able to have a night out, even if she missed me a little bit.

We spend the next few hours sharing the array of desserts Natalie brought to the table and just enjoying being out with everyone. I’ve become quite the homebody since Laura and I became serious but even I have to admit that this has been really fun. Laura quit drinking a while ago so she can drive us home. I wish I was cleared to drive already so she didn’t have to all the time, but she promised it was ok. She told me it would be terrible to be hungover on her wedding day and I can’t blame her for that.

I was laughing at one of Will and Kirsch’s stupid frat stories about what they swear was the most epic party ever when Laura takes my hand, pulling my attention away from the table.

“Ready to get out of here? We kind of have a big day tomorrow,” she whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek.

“I thought you would never ask,” I say.

Laura stands up and throws her napkin on the table.

“Thanks everyone for the amazing night, Carm and I will never forget what you all have done for us. I’m going to take her home but we’ll see you all in the morning.”

“Wait, don’t people normally spend the night before they’re married apart?” Danny asks.

Laura erupts in laughter and I follow suit.

“They probably do, but no. Neither one of us would be able to sleep a wink and I missed her today” she says, looking over at me and smiling. “Come on, babe. Let’s go home.”

I take her hand and we say our goodbyes and give out as many hugs as I can tolerate before leaving to go to the car. Laura is telling me all about her night with LaF and Perry and I can’t help but smile at how cute she is. I think she really missed her friends and it makes me feel bad for monopolizing all her time. I know she probably doesn’t feel that way but I still feel bad.

We finally get home and go straight upstairs to get ready for bed. We have to leave by six in the morning to make it on time to get out hair and make-up done. I definitely hate being up that early for any reason, but my wedding is definitely an exception to that rule.

“I can’t believe we’re actually getting married tomorrow,” she says while crawling into bed with me.

“I know, it doesn’t seem real. After everything we’ve been through it’s like the world wasn’t going to let it happen. I’ve been waiting for so long and now it’s finally here.”

“Carm, we haven’t even been engaged that long.”

“I know, but I’ve been planning on marrying you a lot longer than the day I asked you.”

“What?”

“Well, the first time I realized I wanted to be with you forever was the day you took me to that big ass sink hole. The first time I thought about marrying you was when we were laying in the field by the cabin the first time I took you there and I knew for sure I wanted to marry you was the night before we left for Puerto Rico. Watching you dance in the kitchen, singing along to 'What If' just reminded me that I could never find anyone better than you to spend my life with.”

“Oh my god, really? I’ve been thinking about it since that night you posed as a delivery person and brought me food just so you could see me. I honestly felt so dumb because we hadn’t known each other all that long, but I would literally daydream about our lives together. I guess we just knew, huh?”

“I guess so and now we get to make it all a reality.”

She cuddles up to me and I held her until she fell into a peaceful sleep. Listening to her breathing even out is the only thing that can calm me enough to sleep anymore so I soon fall into slumber as well.

* * *

**Laura**

The big day is finally here. By five o’ clock I will be Laura Karnstein and my stomach is doing back flips just thinking about it. Carm and I talked about hyphenating or keeping our names but I don’t want to do any of that. I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but I want to share everything with her for the rest of my life and that includes our name.

It took me a while to get Carm to actually wake up but I’m finally loading the last few things in the car before we head for the cabin. I know it seems crazy that we want to get married at the place where our lives were almost cut short, but we also have a lot of good memories there. We decided that we’re not going to let what Lilita did ruin our lives so we want to create newer and better memories there and I figure that having our wedding there is a good start. Besides, the place is absolutely beautiful with the view of the mountain and all. The weather is perfect today so I know this wedding will be perfect too.

“You almost ready?” I ask, walking back in the house.

“Yep, I just need to grab my shoes I’ll be right down.”

I set an alarm for an hour before we really needed to be up so I could wake her up to take a pain pill. The last thing I want is for her to be miserable on our wedding day. She seems to be feeling ok this morning, I just hope she holds up.

She comes down the stairs, looking frustrated with a furrowed brow and a frown on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I couldn’t find my navy socks so we might need to stop and find some. There is no way in hell I’m going to wear white socks to my wedding.”

“Babe, I already packed them for you. They’re in the garment bag with your clothes.”

“How do you always know what I need? Are you a psychic or something? Damn,” she says and laughs.

“Nope, not a psychic. I just know you pretty well at this point. You’re honestly kind of predictable,” I say and giggle.

“Oh really? Predictable?” she says and tugs me over into a kiss that sends a wave of heat through my entire body. I wasn’t exactly ready for that but I am in no way mad about it.

“Ok, point taken. Can we go get married now?”

“If we must,” she says and I’m quick to slap her on the arm before she winks at me, takes my hand and we leave the house for the best day of our lives.

* * *

 

I’m sitting in the master bedroom of the cabin while what feels like an entire team is working on me. Perry is lacing up the back of my dress, Elsie is fixing the few strands of hair that have come loose and LaF is helping me with my shoes since my dress is so big I might actually fall over if I try to put them on myself.

I only have about ten minutes before my dad comes to pick me up to walk me down the aisle. I’m honestly so nervous, not about marrying Carm because I’ve never been more sure about anything but because I’m so afraid I’m going to trip and fall in front of everyone. I’m not that great at walking in heels, but especially not in grass. I’m going to look like an actual baby giraffe that just fell out of its mother, hit the ground and is trying to stand up for the first time. I just don’t want to embarrass myself or Carm. Hopefully everything will be fine.

They put all the finishing touches on me and Perry helps me with my vale.

“I think you may actually be the most beautiful bride I have ever seen, Laura, and that includes myself,” Perry says while I’m standing up.

“Oh, come on. You were absolutely stunning that day and you still are,” I say.

“Yeah, my wife is gorgeous and we all know that but you look incredible. Carmilla is going to lose her shit when she sees you,” LaF says.

“That’s what I’m going for,” I say and laugh. “Thank you all for everything. This wedding could not have happened today if it weren’t for everything you’ve done. I love you all so much.”

“We love you too, Laura. I’m just so happy you found someone as great as Carmilla. You two are perfect together,” Perry says and hugs me tight.

“Thank you, she really is perfect. I can’t believe it’s finally here. I’m going to marry her in like ten minutes holy crap.”

Just as I’m realizing the gravity of the situation, I hear a knock at the door.

“Everyone decent in there?” I hear a familiar voice say from outside.

“Yes, come in!”

The door opens to reveal my dad standing there and he stops in his tracks.

“Oh sweetheart, you look so beautiful. I’m so proud of you,” my dad says and I smile like an idiot.

“Really?” I ask.

“We’ll see you two out there,” Perry says and rushes everyone out of the room to give my dad and I some privacy.

“Of course. Today is one of those days that every father typically dreads. It’s the day that I have to give you away to someone else. You’ve been my baby girl for so long, it’s hard to imagine letting go but I couldn’t imagine a better person than Carmilla to take care of you. I’m not dreading this at all. I’m more happy than anything else,” he says.

I run over to him and he wraps me in the bear hug that only my dad can give me. To be honest, I’ve always been worried about what he’ll think about the person I would eventually marry but to know that he trusts Carm is everything to me.

“Ready, kid?” he asks.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life dad. I just wish mom could be here.”

“Oh, she’s definitely here. I can feel it. There is nothing in this world that could ever stop her from being here for you on your wedding day, not even death. She’s here and she’s proud of you too. Now come on, let’s go get you hitched.”

I fight back the tears that are threatening to fall because the last thing I want is for my make-up to be running down my face before Carm even sees me. My dad takes my hand and leads me down the stairs and to the back door of the cabin. We’re standing there for a moment, waiting for the guitar trio to start playing Wagner’s Bridal Chorus and my dad just wraps me in another hug, but this one feels different. This is in no way a goodbye to him, but we both know that I’m starting a new chapter of my life and things will be different.

The trio finishes “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” which means that the wedding party is in their places and they’re just waiting on me. My dad lets go and I look up to him for some kind of reassurance and his bright smile says it all. With a sudden boost of confidence, I open the door and step out do begin my walk down the aisle. I’m looking around at all the people who came to our wedding and I’m just so overwhelmed with emotion. Everyone is here. Faculty and students from school, my friends from college and even some old co-workers from the bakery are all looking at me like they’ve just seen an angel.

When I look up at Carm, there is just no use in fighting back the tears any more. She has both her hand covering her mouth and she’s already crying. The closer I get, the harder we’re both crying and I realize others are crying too. I have never been more glad to have invested in some really good waterproof mascara. This wedding is just going to be a glass case of emotion. I finally get up to the front, hug my dad one last time and turn towards Carm. She wipes her eyes and reaches over to wipe the tears from mine before taking both my hands and pulling me closer.

“You look so beautiful, Laura. I’m so lucky oh my god.”

“You do too, Carm. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

The pastor clears her throat before he begins so we turn toward her.

“Family and friends of Laura and Carmilla, we are all gathered here today to celebrate the love they share and be a witness to their commitment to each other in the presence of God and everyone they know and love. I haven’t known Carmilla all that long, but I have been a friend to the Hollis family since Laura was a little girl and let me say that I could not be happier that these two have found each other. Laura’s mother was a dear friend of mine and I can tell you without a doubt that she would not only approve of this union but welcome Carmilla into the family with open arms.

Ecclesiastes chapter four, verses nine through twelve say that ‘two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.’ If there’s any passage in the bible that describes the two standing before me, it’s this one. The love they share only makes them stronger and will continue to grow as their lives do.

Maulana Jalalu'ddin Rumi once wrote:

‘The minute I heard my first love story  
I started looking for you,  
Not knowing how blind that was.  
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.  
They're in each other all along.’

I believe with my entire heart that these two have always been destined for each other. Ephesians chapter two, verse ten says that ‘For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’ The good things that God has planned for Laura and Carmilla are just beginning and I am so honored to be a part of the beginning of a union so beautiful.

If there is anyone present that has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Good, now I believe that Laura is prepared to read her vows first. Laura, if you will?”

I look back to Carm and take a deep breath before I begin. I’ve been nervous about messing this up for a few weeks not but I’ve never felt more confident.

“Carm, I think we can both say that we met under some very strange circumstances. I was having what I thought was going to be the worst day, but it ended up being the first day of the rest of my life with you. I’m still a bit embarrassed about running into you and knocking about a million papers all over the floor but you somehow made me feel okay about it. The first time I looked into your eyes, it’s like you were the first person to ever see me for who I am. Even my puffy eyes and tear-stained face weren’t enough to turn you away from me and in fact you invited me back to your classroom to ‘help you put your life back together’ as you worded it. I can say without a doubt that the exact opposite happened. You’re the one that helped me put _my_ life back together. When I lost my mom, I thought I was never going to be the same. There was a hole in my heart for so many years and I had just become content with the emptiness I felt we crashed into each other’s lives and everything changed. The first time we kissed, it cracked me open. I have never felt that way about anyone before and that’s when I realized what it truly means to love someone. You’re the only person that can make me feel safe when I’m completely vulnerable. I know we’ve been through a lot since we met, but I don’t care about any of that as long as I get to come home to you. When I was a little girl, I would imagine what it would be like to fall in love with someone and have the kind of marriage my parents had. If my mom was here today, I know she would love you. She would love you not only because I do, but because you’re the exact person she always wanted me to find. Right before she died she told me to never give up on love. No matter how difficult life may be, I have to fight for the love I was meant for because her greatest desire in life was for me to grow up and be happy. I’m glad I didn’t give up because I think she knew even then that I would find you some day and I just hope that she’s proud of what we’ve become. I love you with everything that I am and I promise to be there for you in every way. No matter what kind of disasters life throws our way, I will be there by your side to hold you up. I’m ready for whatever comes as long as you’re here with me. I love you, Carm. Forever and always.”

“Thank you, Laura. That was beautiful. Carmilla?”

“Cupcake, I had this entire speech planned out for you but nothing I could plan would ever do you justice. Yeah, when we met it was a little wild but is that not who we are? Nothing about our love has ever been normal or predictable. The moment you crashed into me I knew you were going to change everything in my life and oh boy was I right. Every day I have spent with you has been a blessing to me. You have strengthened my heart in ways that I never knew were possible. To say I was a mess before I met you would be a serious understatement. I never knew how to actually live before I met you. My entire life was about survival the torture my mother put me through. Even when I was ‘free’ from her so to speak, I was still in a mental prison. I felt broken, alone and undeserving of any kind of love because that’s what she told me. But you changed everything. You’re the first person in my life that has ever made me feel like I’m worth anything. You love me without expecting anything in return and that’s the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. You fight for me in every way. I remember when we went to dinner that night with my mother and you just wouldn’t take any of her crap. I knew then that you were the one for me. No one has ever stood up to her like that to protect me. I will never forget that night just inside that cabin when I almost lost you. Even when facing death, you still fought for me. No matter what she said or did, you just kept fighting. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of and never thought I deserved but you’re insistent on loving me anyway. If we can make it through what happened to us, I know we can make it through anything. I am determined to spend every day of the rest of my life giving you the love that you have given to me. Although I feel like I can never come close, I will never give up. Every breath I take will be in preparation for loving you and making you stronger. Every day that I get up will be about providing the life you deserve. Laura, I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone. I was broken, but you did put me back together and I’m actually able to love you the way you deserve only because you love me. I am so excited about what the future holds for us. Buckle up, creampuff. We’re going to have one hell of a life together.”

“Laura, Carmilla, thank you. I know I can’t be the only one here today that was moved by your words. It’s clearer now than ever that you two are meant for one another.

Laura, do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect Carmilla, forsaking all others and holding only unto her forevermore?”

“I do.”

“Carmilla, do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect Laura, forsaking all others and holding only unto her forevermore?”

“Oh, I definitely do.”

“May I have the rings please?”

Will hands the pastor the wedding bands and looks to Carm and I like a proud father. I’m happy I’ll get to call him my brother now.

“These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings always remind you of the vows you have taken,” the pastor says.

“I Laura, take thee, Carmilla to be my wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise my love to you. And with this ring, I take you as my wife, for as long as we both shall live,” I say, sliding the ring on her finger.

“And I Carmilla, take thee, Laura to be my wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise my love to you. And with this ring, I take you as my wife, for as long as we both shall live,” she says, putting the ring on mine.

“To make your relationship work will take love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today. It will take trust, to know, that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other. It will take dedication, to stay open to one another - and to learn and grow together. It will take faith, to go forward together, without knowing exactly what the future brings. And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both have pledged to today.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married to one another for all eternity. You may kiss the bride.”

Carm pulls me in for the first kiss we shared as a married couple. It was everything I wanted it to be. Loving, passionate, gentle and intense all at the same time. When we pull apart we turn and face everyone in attendance, smiling and fighting inevitable tears.

“May I present to you Carmilla and Laura Karnstein! Please join us for the continued celebration of their love after a brief break for pictures. Thank you all for attending and my God bless you all.”

Carm basically drags me through the crowd and up to the bedroom. We’re standing alone for the first time since this morning and I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment all day.

“We did it, cupcake. We’re married,” she says and kisses me like there aren’t a few hundred people waiting for us downstairs.

“Yep, you’re stuck with me forever now. How are you feeling? We kind of had to stand there for a while.”

“I’m fine. I’ll need some more medicine soon but I honestly have so much adrenaline in my system I can’t really feel much of anything at the moment.”

“I love you so much. Do you know that?” I ask her.

“Oh, I do and I love you too.”

“Let’s get some medicine in you so we can go get these pictures done and enjoy this kick ass party Perry planned for us.”

“Sounds good, cupcake.”

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

This has by far been the best day of my entire life. My god, seeing Laura standing at the end of that aisle I knew everything was going to be ok. The fact that this strong, beautiful woman chose me to spend her life with has given me the strength to move on from all the bad things that have happened in my life and start a new one. As long as she’s by my side, I’m strong enough to handle anything.

We’re finally done with the pictures and god damn if the photographer didn’t make us pose in a million stupid ways. I’m honestly so exhausted but I knew that Laura would want these pictures to remember this day forever and to be honest I did too.

The reception is starting up so Laura and I head back downstairs to join everyone after we freshen up a bit and get a little more comfortable. The applause we were greeted with was so incredible I think I would have cried if I wasn’t completely dehydrated from all the crying I’ve already done today.

We’re sitting at our table, completely oblivious to the rest of the world when the DJ finally announces that it’s time for our first dance as a married couple. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.

I take Laura’s hand and lead her out to the dance floor. She wraps her arms around me and we fit together perfectly like always when the music starts to play.

 _“I don't care what they say_  
_‘Cause I have seen when we run we make it rain_  
_Let's keep going for miles_  
_Playin’ under the stormy darkened skies_  
_Can you be mine?”_

We’re swaying back and forth, holding onto one another like our lives depend on it.

 _“Push me to the wall let them see baby I don't care at all_  
_I'm not letting this go_  
_Like a flower breaking through we've grown_  
_Together now”_

I reach in my pocket and pull out a small flower to put in her hair. Everyone that’s watching gasps and I hear a few people start to cry. Laura stands up on her tiptoes to kiss me and I kiss her back like no one else is there.

 _“I don't care what they say cause I have seen when we run we make it rain_  
_There's nothing better than this_  
_I'll keep wanting you for just one more kiss_  
_So make it rain”_

We kiss again and I spin her gently before pulling back in to sing quietly into her ear.

 _“When the world makes me tired, and my mind feels_  
_Like it was set on fire, you look at me and smile,_  
_With your brown eyes you calm my heart and I can breathe again.”_

She looks up at me and smiles and I’m ready to fall apart but I hold it together for her. It’s always going to be for her.

 _“I don't care what they say cause I have seen when we run we make it rain_  
_There's nothing better than this_  
_I'll keep wanting you for just one more kiss_  
_So make it rain”_

The music fades and everyone applauds louder than I’ve ever heard before. As we’re kissing again, the DJ starts playing something more upbeat and all our friends and family join us as we dance to celebrate the beginning of the best chapter of our lives so far. Today was everything I’ve ever wanted and I am just so proud to call Laura my wife. This is the only beginning, and I’m ready now for whatever life may bring our way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there it is. They're married and let me tell you this is far from the end of this story. I have so many plans for this fic and I hope you all stick with me until the end! I love you all so much for reading the crap I come up with and the comments you send me mean more to me than you'll ever know. You are what inspires me to keep writing. Thank you for everything and pls don't be a stranger. 
> 
> \- Monica
> 
> Btw the song they danced to is "Make it Rain" by Colbie Caillat. You should def listen to it and everything else she's ever recorded because she's amazing.


	23. You Know How to Drive in Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the honeymoon chapter fam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise bitch I'm not dead yet and I'm still writing this story. Sorry it's been months since I've updated but life's been complete shit so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Anyway, I hope y'all still love this story as much as I do. Thanks for not giving up on me. :)

**Carmilla**

I’m sitting here, caught in my daydreams, seemingly unable to be present in the moment. Images of both good times and bad are playing through my mind as I stare out the window of this plane on the way to Florence. I’m supposed to be watching a movie with Laura but the weight of everything has me a bit too distracted to be able to relax enough to do something as simple as that.

Everything has apparently reached an end point. I’m on my way toward recovery, mother is gone, my job is still safe and I actually married the woman of my dreams. I’ve spent so long fighting to just exist, it’s if I’ve forgotten how to truly live and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever be able to do it. All I want is to be the kind of normal that Laura deserves, the kind of normal that is able to provide the life I want to give to her.

This woman curled up against my side has become my sole   reason for living. My mother spent the majority of my life tearing me down, making me feel that I’m worthless and unworthy of even the smallest act of love and it didn’t take me very long to start believing her. It was only days after meeting Laura that things began to change. The way she’s always the last to let go when we hug, no matter how long I hold on; it’s almost as if she’s afraid to let go. The way she grabs ahold of me, lifts her shoulder and pulls me closer every time we kiss. She once told me that we could kiss a thousand times a day and she would see stars every time. I was too afraid to admit how much I understood that at the time because I was afraid of what she might think, but the galaxies spinning before my eyes every time her lips touched mine were enough to tell me even back then that she was the one for me. Every small way she shows affection, from holding my hand so gently to knowing glances in a crowded room are slowly putting me back together. She makes me feel so loved, adored, respected, wanted, and safe. I’m not sure yet if she understands just how much she has given me, but I get to spend every day of the rest of my life trying to show her.

The movie credits start rolling when Laura nudges my shoulder, bringing me back to reality.

“Carm, are you ok?” she asks.

“Yea, I’m fine. Just a bit out of it I guess.”

“Do you need any medicine? Are you in any pain?”

“No, I’m fine, sweetheart. It hurts a bit but nowhere near bad enough to have to take any meds. I want to be as lucid on this trip as I can,” I say and reach over to grab her hand. She laces her fingers with mine and gives me that sweet smile that melts me into an embarrassing mess. I’m smiling like an idiot and I don’t even care. I pull her hand up and kiss her palm, feeling the cool metal of her wedding ring against my cheek and it’s another welcomed reminder that she’s all mine.

“I want that too, but I want to make sure that you’re comfortable. Promise you’ll tell me if the pain gets any worse? I don’t want things to get out of hand because you don’t want to ruin our trip. Just please be honest and I promise everything will be perfect. I know you want me to have a good time but I can’t if I’m worried about you the entire time,” Laura relents.

“I promise. I just want to make sure this trip is everything you’ve dreamed of. I don’t want you to spend the entire time worrying about me and miss everything we’re flying here for.”

“Carm. You don’t get it, do you?”

“What?” I ask, honestly a bit confused.

“We could have stayed at home, locked ourselves in our bedroom and binge-watched _Pretty Little Liars_ for all I care and it still would have been the honeymoon I’ve always wanted because you were there with me. I don’t care if we never leave the hotel over the next few days, as long as you’re with it will be the best time of my life because I get to spend it with you.”

“Ugh, with the way the writers treat Emily and Spencer I’m not sure that binging _PLL_ would have been a perfect honeymoon but I hear what you’re saying.” Laura laughs so I pull her hand into my lap and continue. “Any time spent with you feels like a honeymoon, I just don’t want to ruin this trip for you. I’m not sure when we’ll be able to come back here and I”

“Carm. Seriously.” She pulls her hand away and turns to face me, her big brown eyes piercing mine. “The last thing you could ever do is ruin anything for me. Every minute I get to be with you is priceless whether it’s sharing a romantic gondola ride through the streets of Venice or locked up in our room while you fight through another bout of pain. You’re not going to ruin anything. You never could.”

“Ok, ok. I’ll tell you if my pain gets any worse, I promise. Let’s not worry about anything right now because I’m feeling fine. I’m ready to get the hell out of this chair, but I’m fine otherwise,” I say, squirming in my chair.

“Well, we’re supposed to be landing soon and then we can get to the hotel. I thought I would be up for some sight-seeing right away but I’m actually pretty tired. Do you mind if we just relax when we get there?” she asks, reaching up to try and cover a yawn.

“Cupcake, we can do whatever you want. I’m all yours.”

“For better or worse?” she asks and leans closer to me, her eyes a bit watery from another yawn.

“Damn right,” I say and kiss her causing her to giggle and pull me closer with her ever gentle hands resting on the back of my neck. Dear god I love this woman.

 

* * *

 

 

**Laura**

We finally land a couple hours later and the commute to the hotel is a bit more exhausting that I might have hoped. We were able to take a taxi the majority of the way which wasn’t bad but we had to travel a short distance by water. To load our luggage onto this tiny little boat while trying to keep an annoyed Carmilla pacified was certainly a challenge. It didn’t take too much longer until we were at the doors of the Portrait Firenze and these nice young men came out to get our luggage. Carmilla and I were relieved to just be able to check in and get to the suite quickly. I was a bit concerned at first of how we were going to get through the next few days communication wise but apparently Carm speaks Italian too; of course she does.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when we got here because Carm took care of the reservations for the trip. She handled all the details of the honeymoon since I took care of most of the wedding plans along with Perry but she has truly outdone herself. I would have been perfectly fine with basic room accommodations, but no. Carm had to reserve the penthouse suite which has a private deck overlooking the Arno River. To say my wife spoils me would be an understatement.

“So, what do you think?” she asks, wrapping her arms around me from behind while I take in the view from the deck.

“Carm, this is too much. You didn’t have to get this room,” I say as I melt into her touch.

“Of course I did. This is our honeymoon, cupcake. Once in a lifetime kinda thing. It has to be perfect.”

I turn in her arms and lean back into the railing, pulling her with me and into the softest kiss. I whisper “it already is,” against her lips before taking a ragged breath and kissing her again. If this is what the next couple of days are going to be like I’m not going to want to leave.

We spent the majority of the afternoon out on the deck. We planned out what we were going to do over the next couple of days, drank way too much sangria, and kissed each other like teenagers in love. When it started to get dark we finally decided to go back in for the night and order some room service. We originally planned to go out on our first night, but neither one of us are up for it. Besides, I’m not really in the mood to share Carm with anyone right now so staying in sounds perfect.

After a dinner of carbonara, ludicrously expensive wine and some of the best bread I’ve ever had, we ended up showering separately. You should have seen the actual pout on Carmilla’s face when I insisted on it, but she agreed when I promised it would be worth her while. It’s not that I didn’t want to shower with her, I always do. It’s just that this is our wedding night, it’s supposed to be symbolic. I want to be sure that every part of me is ready and looks like the wife she deserves. Carmilla is nothing short of a goddess and sometimes I can’t help but feel inadequate standing next to her. I know she would think that’s ridiculous but I can’t help it. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I just feel sort of plain sometimes. So, I spend a good amount of time scrubbing, shaving, moisturizing and just getting ready for whatever she is going to do. Yea, we’ve had sex plenty of times but this time is special.

I blow out my hair, brush my teeth, put on some expensive lotion I found and spray on a bit of perfume before finally getting dressed in the lingerie I bought specifically for tonight and putting a robe on overtop. I take one last look in the mirror, finally satisfied in myself. This is going to be the best night of my life, everything I’ve dreamed of. I just have to get the courage to walk out that door. You can do this.

Taking a few deep breaths, I eventually open the door to find the lights turned down and I know exactly what Carmilla’s up to. My heart begins to pound out of my chest when I try my find my way to her. Leaving the bathroom, I see actual rose petals on the ground and I can’t believe her. I want to cry at how romantic she is but my make-up looks too damn good to ruin right now so I suck it up and continue. I follow the path she laid before my feet, careful to not ruin it because she worked so hard. I can hear Diana Krall’s “You Go to My Head” playing softly from the bedroom as I’m working my way through the living room. Just before I reach the door, I smell her perfume and my head is swimming, my heart is racing and I just can’t wait to see what’s on the other side of the door. I stand there with my hand on the door handle, trying to calm myself before I open the door. It’s now or never.

Son of a bitch.

I waited too long. She fell asleep. She actually fell asleep waiting for me to make myself pretty enough for her. I want to be mad. I really want to be so mad but I just can’t. This is my fault. I insisted we part ways, and then I took too long to get ready knowing that she’s probably in pain and exhausted from the flight. I walk over to the bed to find her looking as perfect as ever. She’s so beautiful like this, without all the stress overshadowing her features she looks so pure, so happy.

I blow out the candles by the bed, slip on a tank top over the lingerie I’m wearing and climb into bed behind her. Whatever we were going to do can wait until tomorrow. We have the rest of our lives after all. I drape my arm over her waist, pulling myself closer to her before closing my eyes and giving in to the weight of the day.

 

* * *

 

 

**Carmilla**

I woke up this morning with the familiar feeling of Laura wrapped around me and oh shit, oh god, I fucked up. I must have fallen asleep last night she must have been have been so hurt god fuck Carmilla why are you like this? I couldn’t hold on another fucking ten minutes to give her the wedding night she has been dreaming of I had to fucking fall asleep. I take a deep breath and turn over slowly so I don’t wake her yet. The last thing I want to do right now is make her even more upset than I already have.

Oh god she’s so beautiful and I ruined it. She spent all that time trying to look good for me and I couldn’t just stay awake. She always looks better than an angel to me but it’s obvious she went out of her way to look pretty for me. I cannot believe I did this. I kind of hate myself right now.

Maybe if I can sneak out of bed to call in some room service so she wakes up to a nice breakfast, that would ease the disappointment a little bit. I roll onto my back, trying to be so gentle and oh shit.

“Carm?” she whines while reaching out for me. “Where are you going?”

I roll back over and see her face all scrunched up. Her eyes still closed and I’m not sure she’s actually awake or if she’s still dreaming.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” I say, running my hand gently down her arm.

“Good. I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

I reach up and gently brush her hair behind her ears and she’s now wearing the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen. I’ve never met anyone in my life that can look so breathtaking when they first wake up, but here she is and this woman is now my wife. I can’t help but feel lucky to have found her, but I’m starting to feel like it’s more than that. She’s told me so many times, in whispers late at night that us finding each other has to be fate. We found each other right when we needed to and fell in love at the perfect time. It’s not that we complete each other, it’s more like we complement one another. She’s strong where I’m weak, she’s gentle when I’m rough, she’s calm when I’m manic and she saves me when I’m too far gone to save myself. She crashed into my life when it was falling apart and she’s putting it back together one sweet kiss at a time.

“I was going to order you some breakfast,” I say, leaning over to kiss her shoulder.

“Couldn’t you do that later? I want you to stay here,” she says while curling up into my chest.

I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight. I’ll honestly do anything she asks, but this is definitely something I can do. “Of course, cupcake. Go back to sleep.”

She already did.

* * *

 

I wake up what must be a few hours later because the light coming through the curtains is brighter and even more annoying than earlier this morning, but the way it highlights the endless shades of golden brown in Laura’s hair makes it much more tolerable.

“I was wondering when you were going to get up,” she says with a sweet smile.

“Um, if my memory serves me correctly I was already up earlier this morning but _someone_ wanted to go back to sleep.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she denies, but leans in to kiss me anyway.

“Really? I was even going to order you some breakfast but you practically begged me to stay in bed with you.”

“You must have been dreaming. I would never do such a thing,” she says, pushing me over and crawling over me to straddle my hips. I lightly grab her waist under her tank top and she squirms a bit like she always does. She can be so ticklish even in the most serious moments and that’s one of about a billion things I love about her.

“Denial is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?”

She lays her body down against mine and kisses me, smiling into it and I can’t help but pull her impossibly closer. The way she sighs into my mouth when I rub her back gently causes a chill to run down my spine, but in the most exhilarating way. I wish now more than ever that we could just never go back to our normal lives, that we could just travel together, never living in the same city twice; it would just be her and I in love.

She pulls back, tossing her hair to one side and looking at me like I hung the moon just for her and if I could, I would.

“So, how about that breakfast?” I ask.

“It should be here any minute. I didn’t know what you wanted so I got a little bit of everything. I hope that’s ok.”

“Dammit.”

“What? Are you not hungry? I’m sorry, I just thought”

“No, it’s not that. I just feel so terrible about falling asleep last night, I thought that I needed to do everything I could to make it up to you and getting you breakfast was just a start but of course I ruined that too,” I admit.

“Carm, please don’t feel bad about that. I mean, I’ll admit I was a little disappointed at first but then I realized how dumb that was. After everything you’ve been through over the last few months, that flight must have been exhausting and I know you were in more pain than you led on. Being able to hold you was more than enough for me and it always will be.”

“But it was our wedding night and I ruined it. I feel terrible.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Carm. I promise. You’re here right now aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all I need. We have the rest of our lives together. Last night was just one of tens of thousands that we’re going to have together. Every night is going to be our wedding night as far as I’m concerned.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you, cupcake?”

“Nothing. You didn’t have to do anything to deserve me. You’re meant for me and I’m meant for you. It’s written in the stars. We can’t defy the stars now, can we?”

“Of course not,” I say and pull her down into another kiss. I’m fighting these stupid tears from falling and kissing her senseless when there’s a knock at the door. “What the hell?”

“Breakfast, remember?”

* * *

 

 

**Laura**

As much as I wanted to ignore the poor kid waiting out in the hallway to deliver our food and just stay in bed with my wife, my grumbling stomach told me otherwise. Carmilla got up, bringing the cart back in to the bedroom of our suite and we shared a meal of coffee, hot chocolate, muesli, and yogurt. Carm wanted so badly to just stay in today but we ultimately decided to go on with our plans for the day. We didn’t fly all the way to Italy to stay within the confines of our hotel room.

We started the day by taking a walk through the Boboli Gardens. While Carm wasn’t exactly excited about all the walking, strange people and incessant sunlight, she finally admitted she was glad we went. The fountains all over the grounds were incredible. Just admiring the amount of work it took to craft something so beautiful was really breathtaking. Walking down the paths of the gardens, hand in hand with my wife while people smiled at us, all of us enjoying the beautiful surroundings was a really special moment for me. Our lives back home can be so stressful and just being able to enjoy this time with her, as nothing than a newly married couple with no stress, pain and worries is priceless and I will never forget this day.

We then stopped for lunch at Pizzeria Riva d’Arno and I’m glad this is fairly close to our hotel because oh my god I’m pretty sure this place has the best pizza on the planet so we’ll definitely be coming back here before we leave Florence. Carm insisted on finding a gelato place before we went on our next adventure and I wasn’t sure we’d have time but I’m glad she insisted. I never thought I’d ever like something more than a cup of homemade cocoa and some cookies but Bacio is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted. That stuff is seriously like Nutella, but frozen, on crack and in a mocha-dipped waffle cone that tastes just as good. I’m sure I’ll be having this at least ten more times before we leave.

After our lunch that ran way longer than we intended, we visited the Accademia Gallery. Carm walked me from room to room, giving me my own little tour narrated by the most intelligent woman I’ve ever known. Her students are truly lucky to have her. The amount of knowledge she possesses is truly astonishing. She seemed to know endless facts about every painting, sculpture and installation in the building. The day culminated in finally seeing the statue of David in person. I’ve always been amazed by how Michelangelo was able to carve something beautiful out of something that started out as something so rough and ragged. I was lost in a trance, staring at every curve of this work of art while Carm explained the origin of the piece and what it initially commissioned for when she just had to crack a joke about how small his dick is and how it was probably a good thing that he was a musician because there was no way he was getting any otherwise. I laughed so hard that we got glaring looks from everyone in the gallery and eventually had to leave to avoid being kicked out.

We got back to the hotel just in time to see the sun setting over the Arno. I was taking pictures of the sky when my attention was diverted to something far more beautiful. Carm was standing next to me, leaning her arms against the railing of the deck, taking in the view and completely oblivious to me snapping photos of her. She looks so at peace here; I just couldn’t help myself. The ever present worried look on her face is gone, even for a fleeting moment and I just had to capture it. But the best picture I got of her was the moment she realized what I was doing. She turned her head slightly, looking into the camera and I swear I fell even further in love with her right there and then. She smiled at me like I’m her entire world and I think I just might be. I’ve had plenty of daydreams in my life about finding a love like this, but I convinced myself that it would never happen. Just when I thought it was too late, I found her and she’s looking at me like she feels the same way.

“Should we order some dinner or would you like to go out?” I ask, looking down at the water with her arms wrapped around me.

She reaches up, brushing my hair to one side before kissing my neck and saying “I don’t really want to go anywhere, and I’m not very hungry… for food anyway,” against my skin. She must have felt the shudder run through my body because she held me tighter and continued her skillful work on my neck and shoulder.

“Sounds good to me.”

* * *

 

Carm led me into the shower of our suite, insisting on going together because she didn’t want to repeat the last night’s incident. While I initially thought I wanted the traditional wedding night experience, holy crap this was way better. She held me so close, carefully washing every part of my body like it was more delicate than every work of art we saw at the gallery today and she told me so in whispers between kisses under the cascading water falling down upon us. It’s tender moments like these that wash away any insecurity and doubt I may have, even for just a while. She makes me feel so beautiful, so wanted, so loved and I can’t help but fall apart in her arms because this is all I’ve ever wanted.

Part of me wanted her to just let go, push me against the tile and fuck me into oblivion but she clearly had other plans. Every movement was slow and deliberate. Just when she was so close to where I needed her to be, she would move on, essentially worshipping another part of my body and I know exactly what she’s doing. She knows that when she takes her time, the slow burn works me up better than anything else and she’ll give me what I need only when it’s time. I may end up breathless, frantic and begging for her to just let me come, but it’s always better this way and she always says I’ve never looked more beautiful.

When the water began to run cold, she turned it off and reached blindly for a towel. She took her time, drying my hair and every part of my body so I wouldn’t get cold before ultimately drying herself. I went to walk out of the bathroom but she reached for my hand, pulling me back and pressing me against the counter before lifting me up to sit on it. She stepped in between my legs, bypassing my lips and going straight for my neck and biting down gently. I’m pretty sure anyone in the hallway or surrounding rooms must have heard the moan that spilled out of my mouth but I could care less. She wrapped her arms around my back, pulling me against her toned stomach and I rolled my hips into her, seeking any kind of pressure or friction.

“Fuck, Laura you’re so wet,” Carmilla growled and I moaned even louder when she pulled my bottom lip between her teeth.

She picked me up, wrapping my legs around her back and carried me out of the bathroom, all while still kissing me breathless. I wrapped my arms around her neck, holding her so close because I never want this to end. I never want to let her go.

She laid me down on the bed so gently, kissing her way down my neck, chest and stomach before standing back up.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” she asked.

“I think so,” I whisper, trying to catch my breath.

“I’m not sure that you do.”

She leans down, crawling over me before finding my hands and lacing her fingers with mine.

“Before you I was nothing and now I feel as though I have everything. God you make everything that’s happened so worth it.” She leans down to kiss me and we both sigh into each other. “There were times I thought I wouldn’t survive everything, but part of me felt like I needed to keep fighting and now I know why.”

She lowers her body down, one leg in between mine and presses down. I let out a strangled groan before asking “why?”

“Because,” she kisses me again, “I would gladly go through all that again and more if it means I could have you right now in this bed, with my ring on your finger, now being able to call you my wife. Fuck, I’m so weak for you and I don’t even care.”

“Good,” I say before leaning up and capturing her lips again. While I love hearing her say things like this, time for talking is over.

She grabs ahold of my face lightly, diving into the kiss like she just can’t get close enough to me. I push my hips up, wanting more of her and she gives it to me, tightening her leg muscles and pushing back down. Fuck she feels so good. We’re writhing and grinding into one another, both desperate for release but still not wanting to rush it.

She pulls away from the kiss and when my lips chase after hers, she moves down to my jaw, kissing and nipping at the skin on the way to my neck. I throw my head back against the bed in an effort to gain control of my body, but my legs are already shaking and I can’t keep my eyes open. I feel so impatient. I need to feel her; every part of her. She’s giving everything to me but it doesn’t feel like enough.

Carmilla likes to take her time, kissing every part of me, leaving marks and gentle bites in all her favorite places but I just need her right now. I need more.

“Carm... fuck,” I moan.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m right here,” she says before licking the skin above my collar bone and sliding her way down my body. Her hands find mine again as she takes my nipple into her mouth, sucking and pulling gently with her teeth and I have to fight back a scream. “Tell me what you want.”

“You. Oh my… fuck I just need you.”

She lays her body back down against me before licking her way from my stomach to the valley between my chest before looking up at me.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, cupcake. I’ll give you exactly what you want, you just need to tell me,” she says with the sexiest grin I’ve ever seen.

“Please,” I moan, my hips jerking up into her.

“Hm, I love it when you’re like this. When you just can’t help yourself it drives me crazy. I need you to tell me. What do you need?” she drawls.

“Fuck, Carm. I need… your mouth, your fingers. Please baby, I can’t.”

“All you had to do was ask, love.”

She slides down even further and I lay back, bracing myself for what’s about to come. Her hands grab on to my knees spreading them apart slowly and she looks at me like she’s slowly unwrapping a present. She’s kissing her way from my knees downward, biting and leaving marks along the way. I reach down, brushing her hair away from her face because she’s just so beautiful and I want to see all of her. Then it finally fucking happens.

Her mouth is finally where I need it and my back is arching off the bed to be closer to her. She pushes me back down on to the bed by my hips, holding me securely as she licks me slowly from my entrance to my clit, still teasing me in the most delicious way. Before I even have the chance to take a deep breath and beg her for more, she takes my clit into her mouth and pushes one finger in and I swear I blacked out for a second. I don’t remember screaming but my throat hurts and she’s telling me to be quiet when I come back to her but she doesn’t stop.

The way her tongue is flicking back and forth just right in unison with the two fingers she’s now thrusting in and out at a furious pace has me so close I’m about to break but I’m not ready yet. I don’t want this to end.

“Wait!” I yell.

She stops immediately and looks up with a terrified expression on her face.

“What? Oh my god did I hurt you?” she asks.

“No, it’s not that. I just,” I say with a hoarse voice and reach for her, pulling her up and into a kiss.

Once she realizes I’m ok she relaxes and kisses me with everything she has but I have other plans. I flip her over, straddling her hips and lean back down to kiss her once more.

“I just wanted to do this together,” I say between labored breaths.

“Fuck me, cupcake. How are you so hot?” she asks.

“I plan to,” I say with a smile, leaning to the side so I can pick up her leg and put it up on my shoulder.

“Oh,” is all she can manage before I lower myself down and we both groan at the contact.

She sits up, holding herself up with one arm and wraps the other around my back to pull me even closer as I begin to rock my hips slowly. Her eyes roll back in her head so I grind into her even harder. She’s grabbing at my ass, I’m scratching down her back and we’re both getting close. Her hips are moving with mine and her breathy moans are taking me even closer to the edge.

“Fuck… Carm, I’m gonna.”

“Oh god. So close,” she breathes.

I push her down onto the bed, grab her chest and grind down even harder. When I look back down, I see her eyes close shut, her mouth drops open and she’s screaming broken versions of my name when her body tenses and she breaks beneath me. Seeing her fall apart is enough to bring me over the edge. My hands find hers instinctively because my legs are shaking and every muscle in my body is trembling as the best orgasm of my life rushes over me like a wave of never ending pleasure that I would be glad to drown in.

She pulls me down against her and holds me close, rubbing her hands up and down my back gently since she seems to have recovered quicker than me. She’s kissing my forehead and brushing my sweat-soaked hair away from my face as I lay on top of her, my legs still spasming.

“Wow,” she whispers.

“Mhm,” I say, finally able to lift my head and kiss her softly.

“Is this what being married is gonna be like?”

“I sure hope so,” I admit and we both laugh.

“Me too, cupcake. Me too.”

I kiss her one more time before sliding over to lay against her side, my head against her chest as I throw my limp arm over her waist.

“Go to sleep, love. It’s ok. I’ll be right here when you wake up,” she says.

“Mkay. Love you,” I say, closing my eyes and giving into the heavy exhaustion.

“I love you too.”

* * *

 

**Carmilla**

“Carm. Wake up. The phone is ringing,” I hear Laura saying while coming out of a dream.

“What? Where’s my phone? Who the hell is calling me at this hour?”

I feel Laura sit up so I open my eyes. She runs her hand through her messy hair, looking around just as confused as I am.

“First of all, it’s after one in the afternoon here and second the hotel phone is ringing,” she says.

She stumbles off the bed, still naked and I’m shamelessly admiring the view as she picks up the phone.

“Hello?”

Her face instantly goes from confused to frightened and shit, something’s wrong. I can feel it.

“Right now? How bad is it?”

I sit up, scooting to the edge of the bed so I can try to hear what’s going on.

“No, I understand. We’ll be home as soon as we can. Thank you for taking care of things and for waiting until this morning to call. We owe you again. See you soon.”

Laura hangs up the phone and turns to face me. Her normally glowing skin is a stark white and she looks terrified to tell me what’s going on.

“Laura, what is it?” I plead.

“We have to go home. Right now.”

“What happened? Is everyone ok?”

“Everyone’s fine, luckily no one was hurt. Someone broke into the house and apparently left us a message. That was Ms. Bruner. She didn’t want to give too many details over the phone but Carm we need to go home.”

“Shit. Yeah, ok. Let me get dressed and I’ll change our flight to as soon as possible. Do you want to shower first or should I?” I ask, standing up to find any kind of clothes.

“I’ll go, but will you be ok?” she asks.

“I can’t think right now,” I admit, pacing the room.

She walks over to me, taking my hand and pulling me into a hug.

“Carm, it’s going to be ok. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. We’ll go home, figure out what’s going on and then we can get back to our honeymoon, ok? I’ve got you.”

“Ok, I trust you.”

* * *

 

The flight back home was agonizing to say the least. Between my normal flight nervousness and all the thoughts running through my head about what happened, I was a complete wreck. I got so worked up, I eventually had to take a pain pill because once the adrenaline wore off, I couldn’t take the pain. Laura held me most of the flight, quietly reassuring me that she’s got me and everything will work out. I really don’t know what I’d do without her.

When the plane lands, I go into full panic mode. I’m terrified of what we’ll find when we do get back home. The only things that keeps me grounded enough to make my way through the airport without falling apart is Laura’s hand in mine and I’m thankful for her now more than ever.

After we collect our luggage, we make our way to the door leading outside of the airport to hail a taxi and we see Danny standing there with Ms. Bruner. Danny runs over to greet us both with a hug and she looks terrified.

“I’m so sorry you had to come home early and I couldn’t keep this from happening,” Danny says.

“Danny, it’s not your fault. I’m just glad you weren’t hurt,” Laura says, releasing her from a hug.

“They waited until I left to get some dinner and when I got back an hour later, the door was wide open and I’m so sorry but they trashed the house. I wanted to clean it up before you got back but the cops said I can’t touch an active crime scene.”

“How bad is it?” I ask.

“I’m so sorry, Carmilla. I feel terrible but they really trashed the place. The detectives believe the message was left for you so they need you to see it before they can finish processing the scene and question the two of you,” Ms. Bruner says.

“Why do they need to question us? We were on the other side of the world, on our honeymoon for fuck’s sake?” I relent.

“Because, they don’t believe this is a random act. You’ll understand more soon when you speak to them. Come on, let’s go and I’ll explain more on the way.”

On the drive to our home, Laura squeezes my hand tight as Ms. Bruner explains just how bad these people really damaged our house. It appears as though they want Laura and I to know that we’re not safe, no matter what we do. I kept asking her what message was left for me, but she said Det. Benson wanted to show me herself.

We pull onto our street almost an hour later to see police lights flashing and crime scene tape all around our house. I’m trying to fight the flashbacks of the cabin off, but they still creep in and Laura squeezes my hand even tighter as she pulls me from the car. I turn to walk into the house, but Laura pulls me back a moment. She reaches up, cupping my jaw lightly and rubs her thumb lightly across my cheek.

“Remember, I’ve got you.”

She leans up to kiss me lightly and I believe even for just a moment that everything’s ok. I reach for her hand again as Ms. Bruner leads us inside. Neither one of us were ready for what we found inside.

There was broken glass everywhere, they took knives to all the furniture, cutting it to shreds. It looks like part of the living room was on fire but luckily that didn’t spread very far. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack, but I don’t have time for that so I push it back down until later.

“Carmilla. Laura. I’m so sorry you had to come home to this,” Det. Benson says, walking over to us from the kitchen. I look behind her to find the cabinets ripped off the walls and crushed on the floor.

“What the hell happened? Who did this?” Laura asks and I’m thankful because I can’t seem to find my voice.

“We don’t know who is exactly responsible, but we have reason to believe they are somehow connected to your mother, Carmilla.”

“W-what makes you believe that?” I stutter out.

“Come with me. I’m hoping you can help me figure this out.”

She leads us upstairs, past more destruction and toward our bedroom.

“Before we go in, I want you to know that we plan to assign you round the clock protection until whomever is responsible is in custody.”

“Fine. Whatever. I just want to get this over with and get the hell out of here,” I say.

Det. Benson opens the door and I was shocked to say the least. I expected absolute carnage but this is the only room in the house not broken apart. It’s immaculate, with the exception of a few things. There’s a piece of paper on the bed with a black rose laying across it. I look up to find the words “LOVE WILL HAVE ITS SACRIFICES” written in what appears to be blood across the wall above the bed and I know right then that although my mother is buried six feet in the ground, she’s somehow responsible for this.

I fall to the ground, fighting tears and Laura is holding me. It takes me a few moments to regain my composure but I have to hold it together if I want to get through this.

“We haven’t touched the letter yet. We were waiting for you,” Det. Benson says.

She hands me a pair of gloves and I pass them to Laura. I’m barely holding on and I don’t want to make things worse. She puts the gloves on before picking up the letter and sitting back down on the floor next to me. I take a deep breath, look into Laura’s eyes for reassurance before reading it.

_My dearest Carmilla,_

_If you’re reading this, you’ve succeeded in your wishes. I’m no longer alive, but please hear me when I say that I’m not done with you. You defied me every step of the way and even my own death won’t stop me from making this right. You have no idea how far my influence goes, how truly powerful I really am and trust me when I say that the people working for me are devoted to my cause; ending you. I told you long ago that love is for the weak, that stone cannot love flesh. You are incapable of being loved and I will see to it even from the grave that you will never have what you took away from me. You and your little pet don’t stand a chance. It’s only a matter of time before you’ll both be joining me. Enjoy the time you have left, darling. You’re on borrowed time._

_All my love,_

_Mother_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T HATE ME PLEASE. Look, I know you weren't expecting that shit but I actually have a lot planned for this fic and this is just one step in the Karnsteins finally getting their freedom from Lilita and starting the life they're dreaming of. Y'all know this binch has a lot of power and it couldn't be over so easily. I'll try to not take four months for another update, especially since I left y'all with yet another cliffhanger. I promise I'll try.
> 
> Thanks as always for reading and your feedback to me in invaluable. Please feel encouraged to comment here or blow up my tumblr inbox. My blog is the same stupid name as this account so you can find me there. 
> 
> Love you all,  
> Monica


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